"He's a refugee, just like us," Ethan said, as I examined each sc.r.a.p of clothing and then got dressed. "He can help us, Lilith. He's already trying, by leaving you the clothes."

"Yes, remind me to thank himif he doesn't get us both killed."

He rolled his eyes as I pulled on the jeans, followed by the tank top. It was black, with a red rose painted on the front.

"Why don't you trust my judgment on this, Lilith?" Ethan asked. "Who would know my brother better than I do?"

"The people who programmed him, perhaps?"

He was getting angry with me. I could tell by the tightness of his jaw and the way he was pacing the small room. I didn't want to make him angry, but I couldn't ignore my suspicion about his brother, and I felt compelled to make him listen.

"Ethan, how is it that those DPI hunters knew where we were going last night? How is it that they got there fast enough to nearly catch us? When no one but the two of us and your precious brother knew where we were planning to go? Have you even wondered about that?"

"Of course I wondered about it! But now that I've spoken with him, I know I was wrong to suspect him."

"Then how did they know? How did they find us? And don't tell me it was the tracking device, because we both know it wasn't. They got there too fast, and with too much firepower. They knew where we were going before we arrived. They were almost there in time to intercept us, for G.o.d's sake." He stopped pacing and turned to stare directly at me, his eyes trying to convince me of the truth of his words. "I know. And I know it looks bad. But James thinks it was him they were after. That place was one he's used before. They must have found out, somehow, and set a trap for him there. For him, Lilith.

Not for us."

"So us nearly being caught in the teeth of that trap was merely a coincidence?" I asked.

He lowered his head, probably because he knew how lame the explanation sounded to me. "Yes."

"There's no such thing as coincidence, Ethan." I said it softly, trying to temper my words a bit. I'd pulled on the green shirt and left it hanging unb.u.t.toned. It felt good to be in clothes that actually fit me. The shoes were comfortable, and the thick socks cushioned and warmed my feet. I rose and ran my hand up the side of his face, then softened the tone of my voice, reminding myself that he was not the enemy.

"I know it's hard for you to believe your own brother could be working for the DPI, Ethan. But we can't afford to act as if it's impossible. Not when it could cost us our lives."

His head came around, eyes spearing mine. "But we can afford to risk our lives in a doomed attempt to rescue the others?"

"I can't afford not to," I told him in all honesty. "That place has to be shut down, Ethan. Those people must be stopped. The prisoners need to be set free. I could never live with myself knowing I hadn't at least tried."

"They don't want to be set free," he countered. And he lifted his hands to cup my face, his gaze urgently probing mine. "Those prisoners would turn you in just as soon as look at you, Lilith. You're risking your life for people who didn't ask for it, won't appreciate it and , wouldn't know what to do with freedom if it were handed to them this very night."

"Only because they've been deceived. More than deceived, they've been brainwashed. You and I were strong-willed enough to withstand it, Ethan, but not everyone was. It's not their fault they've succ.u.mbed to deceptions and lies."

"Maybe not, but it's not our fault, either."

I lowered my hands and took a step away from him. "I saw him, you know."

"You saw who?"

Sighing, I sank back down to the floor. "I saw the Wildborn vampire they keep at The Farm."

His expression shocked, Ethan sank down beside me as if his legs were too weak to support him.

"I was looking for the medical unit," I said, "and he sensed me pa.s.sing and called me to him. He told me that he would rather die than remain there."

"A Wildborn? Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I don't know how I know, but I do. There was something about him. Ethan, he was in chains, locked up in this tiny tin shack that was like an oven. Fed only enough to keep him alive, drained of blood every time they needed it to transform one of us. To make us what we are now." "Did youdid you try to free him?"

"I wanted to, but he was dying. Nothing I could have done could have saved him. And and he said I would have no chance to get away unless I became a vampire first. He convinced me to come close, and then he whispered something in my ear, though I can't remember what. It was something that frightened me, I know that, but before I could back away, he yanked me closer, and he sank his teeth into my neck."

"G.o.d, how did you get away?"

I lifted my eyes to Ethan's. "I didn't. He wasn't attacking me, Ethan, he was saving me. Giving me the gift. He drained me until my mind was nearly as empty as my body, and I collapsed on top of him, barely alive. But then he held my face to his neck, and then I was drinking from him. Drinking and drinking and drinking. And he didn't push me away, and I didn't know. I didn't know."

Ethan stroked my hair gently. "You didn't know what?"

"He was so weakfar stronger than any mortal, but so weak for what he was. His skin was gray, his face and eyes, just sunken. It was as if he were already dead. He seemed like a living corpse, and I know he was in agony.

"As I drank from him, I felt his pain. I felt his anguish and heartache and grief and hopelessness. I felt it all, and I thought I would lose my mind with the intensity of it, because that was what he felt. That he would loseperhaps had already losthis mind. I felt it all. And I drank it all into me. I drank until there was nothing left."

Ashamed, and barely able to force myself to do so, I looked into Ethan's eyes. "I killed him, Ethan."

"You didn't know."

"That doesn't matter. I still did it. And then I escaped. Just like you did. I left everyone else behind, just like you did. But I killed to do it. Unlike you. So I have a lot more to make up for. To atone for. I have to do this. And I'm sorry, Ethan, but I cannot and will not wait here for your brother. I'm not risking my life for nothing." I jumped to my feet, unable to contain my energy anymore.

"It's not nothing to me." He got to his feet, too. "I understand your reasons so much better now, Lilith, but you have to see that there's no benefit in rushing this. James can help us. And besides, getting my brother back, seeing him again, it's important to me. He's all I have, Lilith."

I closed my eyes against the pain that statement stirred to life in me. But I didn't call him on it. I didn't say to him, "What about me?" even though the words were burning on my tongue. There was no point. , I lowered my head and let it rest on his shoulder just for a moment. His arms came around me, holding me lightly, tenderly, against him. Being together had been good. And all too brief, I thought.

"I'll go on alone," I said softly. "You wait here for him. If he betrays you and you end up back in captivity, I'll do my best to get you out along with the others. But I don't know if they'll keep you alive this time, Ethan. You're a vampire now. You fooled them before. But now they know you were only pretending. And if they couldn't break you before, they have to know they have no chance of breaking you now." I turned away from him, but his voice came after me even as I began to walk up the stairs toward the church's large red entry doors. "The same thing applies to you, you know."

"I know." And I kept walking.

"Lilith, wait!" I stopped, listening. "You can't go alone. You don't even know where The Farm is."

I still didn't turn to face him. Leaving already felt nearly impossible. Looking at him even once more would make it even harder. "My memory has been returning to me bit by bit. This morning, more of the pieces are there. The night I escaped, the route I took. I think that if I return to the place where I first awakened, I can find my way back to The Farm."

He came up behind me, caught my shoulders and turned me around to face him. There was desperation in his eyes as they searched mine. "You'll be killed if you go back there, Lilith. Please, don't go."

"I have to try." I felt tears burning in my eyes. Not for fear of what I was about to do, but for the pain of leaving this man. How had he come to mean so much to me in so short a time? No, not such a short time, really. There had been something between us long ago. I knew that now. The memory of it burned in my heart. "I'm sorry."

He shook his head slowly, even as I turned away again.

"What happened between us, Ethan it was magical. It meant something to me."

"To me, too. Don't doubt that. I had never"

"Me either. I'll never forget it, Ethan. Or you."

And with that I walked up the stairs to the door. I gripped the cool bra.s.s handles and pushed them open. The night breeze kissed my face in welcome, warm and scented with autumn leaves. Traces of the post-summer warmth still lingered. I stood there for a moment, staring up at the stars that spread like a glittering blanket over the earth. I loved the night.

A fortunate thing, given what I was.

I took one more step, and then he was there, wrapping me in his arms, turning me around, bending to kiss me. And in spite of my resolve, I kissed him back. There was heat between us, an attraction I couldn't deny and a kinship that I wished he could see was far more potent than the one he shared with his brother.

And yet, I had to leave him. I knew that.

As he lifted his head, his eyes glittered like the stars overhead. "I'm going with you."

My eyes, heavy with the beginnings of pa.s.sion, widened as I searched his. "But what about your brother?"

"I never promised to wait for him. We'll go. Right now. I can't let you do this alone, Lilith. If you were taken or killed, I'd never forgive myself. I'm going with you." He put an arm around my shoulders then, and started down the church steps to the sidewalk, as if the matter were settled. But then I planted my feet two steps from the bottom, forcing him to stop, to turn and search my face yet again.

"What is it?" he asked.

I licked my lips, nervous that what I was about to ask of him would be too much. But I had to askno, demandone last thing.

"If you come with me, I need your promise that you won't contact your brother again, Ethan."

"What?"

"I know he's important to you, but II have to insist on this. Once our mission is done, you can find him again. It won't be so hard this time. He'll be waiting, expecting your call. But while you love and trust him, Ethan, you have to try to understand why I don't. Can't. There's too much at risk here."

He stood staring at me, hurt and bewildered. "Lilith, he's my brother. It's been three years."

"Then a few more days can't hurt so much, can they?" I watched his face as he wrestled with the decision I was asking him to make. "I'm not asking you to choose between us. Only to delay your reunion a little bit longer. If you want to come with me, you have to promise not to contact him again or respond when he attempts to contact you, because you know he will. Not until we return from this mission."

I waited as seconds ticked past.

"Ethan, please. You have to at least acknowledge the possibility, that the DPI were successful in turning him. Brainwashing him. That he's working for them now to recapture me. Us."

Still he said nothing.

Sighing, I lowered my head. "If it's a promise you can't make, I understand. Stay here, and let me go on my own. I won't think less of you, Ethan, I swear I won't. And I'll find you again when it's over."

Alone, I descended the final steps. My feet met the pavement and I walked into the night. And with each step I took, my heart broke just a little bit more. The tears that had been burning in the backs of my eyes welled and then spilled over, burning their trails down the pale, sensitive skin of my face. "Goodbye for now, Ethan," I whispered.

"No!" he shouted, and an instant later he was at my side, his arm around my shoulders. "No, I can't let you go. I'm going with you. On your terms."

I looked up at him in stunned surprise. "I have your promise?"

"You have it." He smiled tenderly as he lifted a hand to my face, his thumb swiping the tears from my cheeks. "You were crying?"

I didn't answer.

"At the thought of leaving me?" he asked. I looked away quickly. "I crieda littleat the idea of facing the rest of this journey on my own. That's all."

"Oh."

The single word held myriad meanings, the main one being that he knew full well I was lying. His arm tightened around my shoulder, pulling me closer to his side, and we walked steadily away from the church.

"How far is it, I wonder?" I asked him, still marveling that he had made such a promise, that he was still by my side.

"I have no idea. What we need is a map, and perhaps a car."

"And where are we supposed to find those things?" I asked him.

"In the nearest town." He closed his eyes, and I felt him opening his senses, hunting for the scent of a dense population of humans. When he opened his eyes again, he nodded. "Further east," he said. "I think there's a town that way. We can find a car there. A map, too, if we're lucky."

"Do you even know how to drive a car?" I asked.

"It was part of my training. Wasn't it part of yours?"

"No."

He smiled a little. "I imagine, as rebellious as you were, they were afraid you would run them down, then smash through the perimeter fence, if they put you behind the wheel. They probably intended to break you first, then teach you to drive."

"I think they'd given up on breaking me at all. I think they had marked me for death."

He was silent for a moment. Then, "You realize you're still marked for death, don't you? It's like I said before. If they catch you again, Lilith"

"I know." I lowered my head. "I know."

We came to a crossroads then. Ethan turned me in the direction we needed to take, and we continued walking.

Eventually I saw his head perk up, and after a moment's confusion I knew his brother must be calling out to him. He looked at me quickly and kept on walking. He gave no sign of attempting to reply. And I knew it was possibly one of the most difficult things he'd ever had to do. And yet he did it for me. All for me.

My heart jumped a bit inside my chest, a feeling like joy suffusing it and flowing into my veins until it filled me. Not because he'd rebuffed his brotherI wanted James to be one of the good guys. I wanted to see the two of them reunited and as close as ever. I wasn't jealous of or threatened by their closeness. No, what made me happy was that Ethan was showing me a level of caring I hadn't believed possiblefrom anyone. Was there anything he wouldn't do for me? I wondered.

Maybe he did feel as strongly as I did. Maybe. Just maybe.

Chapter Twelve.

Ethan! James called. Where the h.e.l.l are you? I'm at the church where you told me you would be, and it's empty. I thought you were going to wait.

As carefully as he could, Ethan answered mentally, guarding every thought from Lilith and keeping his face impa.s.sive, so she wouldn't be able to tell by looking at him.

I couldn't. Something came up, James. There's going to be a slight delay. There's something I have to do first.

Ethan glanced sideways at Lilith, and she met his eyes and smiled. G.o.d, she would never forgive him if she knew. But he felt justified in this small deception. She was wrong about James. Dead wrong.

Something you have to do? James asked. What? What are you up to, little brother?

I can't discuss it now, James. I'm going to ask you to trust me. I just need a little time. A few days, at most, and You still don't trust me, James accused. G.o.d, I can't tell you how much that hurts me, Ethan. I'm your brother.

It's not that I don't trust you. I do, but If you trusted me, you'd tell me what's going on. What are you up to, Ethan? Is it risky?

Swallowing hard, Ethan glanced at Lilith. She was walking along beside him with an expression of bliss on her face. And he wasn't so dense that he didn't know why. She was relieved that he'd agreed to her terms, that he'd insisted on coming with her. She trusted him.