I have been tried by a committee which is chaired by the prosecuting official. He has reopened proceedings, engaged in ex parte communications, received legal advice from the prosecution's lawyer and denied me the opportunity to even examine the evidence against me.

"A faculty member at any state college, and indeed, a mail room employee in the state Motor Vehicle Department would have more rights than you have given me."

Henry tuned her out. All this legal stuff, he thought, is just to give her attorney c.r.a.p to fill a brief. Murrain had told him this would probably happen. Now, what's this? Alertly, Henry listened.

"There are strong reasons to believe this panel has operated in violation of my state and federal rights. If this committee does not end this unfortunate proceeding, the U.S. District Court will finally have to determine these issues.

"This committee, at the last hearing, made several promises to me and I was fool enough to believe them.

It said that it would issue a decision within a few weeks; instead, it launched a new investigation of its own without my knowledge or partic.i.p.ation which consumed over half a year.

Second, this committee a.s.sured me that I would not be affected by these charges as I continued my teaching a.s.signments in the department.

'Go back to work,' you all a.s.sured me at the last hearing.

'Everything is taken care of.' I went back and was ordered to move out of my office into a corner of the nutrition teaching lab.

I was denied a telephone and given no help in moving my things.

My name has been removed from the department mail boxes and department meetings are held when I am teaching cla.s.ses.

For these many months, while you reopened the investigation behind my back, I have been a non-person in my department."

Jane shifted in her chair uneasily. She recalled how all of these promises had been made when the panel had ended the first hearing. In fact, she had made some of them herself. It had seemed then, she reflected, that the evidence against Diana was inconclusive and that the majority of the panel felt this was so. She had expected that just a simple vote of the panel would send Diana back to her cla.s.sroom where she belonged.

"I have served this university for nearly a quarter-century.

Students have consistently reviewed my efforts favorably and that is a source of much consternation in my department.

The entire central administration is prosecuting me, angered because I insisted on minimal rights. For example: I refused to have my job eliminated or my copyrighted manual used without my consent. They are determined to terminate me and have spared no resources in support of that goal.

It would appear that some of these efforts violate my rights under state law, federal law, and the Const.i.tution.

That's really what it's all about, decided Annette, as she kept her head lowered and her eyes fastened on the unseen files before her.

Violation of her rights. Violation of my rights to freely consider the evidence both for and against her and render an impartial judgment.

"I believe this case represents what is in store for a person who does not remain in the favor of those who determine policy for this university.

"I have been accused of writing seven SmurFFs over a two year period. Only five of these seven were alleged to have been detrimental to two faculty men, Ian and Randy. This is five out of the six to eight hundred submitted for medical radiology during that time. At a minimum, even were these charges true, the misconduct of which I am accused would be dishonesty, but of a variety with no real import or effect."

Diana stopped and reached for the gla.s.s of water in front of her. I wish I could tell these people what it has been like working here in this university for the last twenty-five years.

If they would only listen, I'd throw out this prepared statement in a flash and start with. . .her thoughts went back only a very few years, to before the affirmative action laws.

She recalled vividly how she was treated, what women were subjected to--still subjected to, she amended, wryly.

Lewd, suggestive poses of women in every lab and office.

Huge posters on many doors facing the hallways.

Projections via slides of scantily or unclothed women in provocative poses that were used to "ill.u.s.trate"

lecture material and treated with derision by the male lecturer.

We couldn't complain because we were told that if we didn't like it we could leave. We were told that this activity was normal and healthy.

We were told that if we found it offensive, we must be 'queer'.

And then that wonderful day when Sally, a woman graduate student, found and placed on her door, a large full length picture of an unclad male.

He was young and pleasant looking--like the boy next door.

No suggestiveness here. Just the human male form.

His p.e.n.i.s hung quietly from his pelvis, as unremarkable and vulnerable as the breast of an old woman.

But what an uproar it caused. The men were furious.

They clucked and cackled like a bunch of biddy hens which had been surprised by a predator's invasion of the hen house.

Diana held the gla.s.s to her mouth for a few moments more even though she was not drinking to stifle the smile that was trying to force itself into being from the memory.

The offending poster was quickly torn down, torn up and still the cacophony continued unabated. That is, until Sally was called in to the NERD chairman's office. When she emerged, she packed up her belongings and left. Of course, we can't have that kind of s.e.xual depravity continue. The men were certainly united in that decision. How quickly and easily they can fire women for whatever men define as impropriety.

She continued with her statement. "We have seen no evidence that any faculty were injured by those SmurFFs. The evaluations that had an impact were the hundreds of evaluations that we have not seen despite my efforts to have them made available for this hearing.

If these faculty had problems, it was with their teaching.

"There is no evidence or any proof as to when, or even if, these seven SmurFFs were submitted.

"The administration has not shown any motive on my part to fabricate and submit them. What I am really accused of is manipulating student opinion to deny Ian and Randy tenure, when, in fact, neither have been denied tenure and I have not manipulated student opinion. If student evaluations improved the year that I did not teach in the course, it was in part because previous criticisms have been taken to heart and teaching improved in the course. And also because Ian specifically instructed the students to make only positive comments.

You could verify this by talking to the medical students, but you are not allowed to."

Esther tried to follow Diana's words and rebut each point as she heard it but was overcome by the simple truth of what she was hearing. She, too, had been convinced that the handwriting evidence was not to be trusted. One of the people in her department had once worked at NERD. She had confirmed the status of Diana in the department and corroborated what she had told the panel.

Esther shrugged. Too bad, can't be helped, she thought.

"Evidence was introduced at this hearing without being authenticated.

Hundreds of SmurFFs were described but shown to no one.

Professional witnesses were used against me yet I was not allowed to have an attorney cross-examine them. And the ultimate injustice is that the prosecution official is the chair of the hearing panel!

"I do not believe that I ever had a chance in these proceedings.

If the administration's evidence is insufficient, you reopen the hearing and get more, using unauthenticated material.

If I am effectively questioning a witness, interrupt me, as you did countless times. If there is evidence on my behalf, you deny it to me."

Frank a.n.u.se was delightedly and avidly listening to Diana's closing statement. G.o.d, he thought. You can sure tell that it was written by a lawyer and he's pulled out all the stops.

What a tear jerker, he judged, cynically. As if any of what she was saying mattered. The facts were that we decide what will be correct, not the stupid courts. Besides, she's getting what she deserves after what she put me through with that complaint to the Affirmative Action Office because I didn't interview male applicants for positions in my department. He raged inwardly as he remembered the time he had to spend to comply with the order to produce all of his records and defend all of his placements.

d.a.m.ned uppity b.i.t.c.h.

"This panel has simply followed the lead of the prosecutor, Henry Tarbuck, and allowed him to continue to dictate to you without question--without thought of equal treatment.

"I am aware, as you are, that a male faculty member was recently convicted of child molesting, given a leave of absence and then replaced in his position without loss of pay or tenure.

Is what you accuse me of doing worse than child molestation?"

Diana let the question hang in the air for several moments while she looked at the panel. Only Henry and a.n.u.se returned her gaze, the women kept their eyes steadfastly on their papers which they held like shields before them. Useless, she thought, then aloud said, "Thank you. I have concluded my statement."

"I would like to clarify a few things," Henry began pontifically.

"The record will show that the remarks you have made are your opinions.

We will not respond to them. I want to make it clear, however, that I am a chairman of a committee of the faculty--not the prosecutor."

There, he thought selfrighteously, that will show her that I can quote my lawyer too.

"Secondly, we do not decide anything. We will not recommend anything.

We are merely the investigating committee which makes the report."