"The water's warmer than-"

She put her hand over my face and pushed my head underwater. And held it there. For a long time.

I swam away underwater and came around her from behind. Her beautiful naked butt was right in front of me-so how could I resist giving her right cheek a little love bite?

She shot straight up, and when I surfaced, she was swimming in a circle, trying to see into the black water.

I called out, "I just bit a white-butt shark."

She turned toward me and screamed a lot of words that didn't sound nice. I did, however, catch the words "Fucking idiot."

Well, enough foreplay. I said, "I'm going back. Are you staying in?"

She didn't reply and headed for shore using a strong overhand stroke.

She was fast, but I caught up, and we raced each other to the shore. I think we're both very competitive, and this is what keeps our relationship so interesting. Also, one of us is an immature idiot, and the other is not, so we sort of complement each other, like an alpha male baboon and his female trainer.

Anyway, I think Kate was a little angry with me, so I let her beat me to the shore, and when I walked onto the beach, she was drying herself with my pants and sports jacket.

It was really cold out of the water, with a little breeze blowing, and my teeth were chattering. I said to her, "That was refreshing."

No response.

I tried another approach. "Hey, you're a hell of a swimmer. Do you want to have sex?"

She was gathering her clothes from the sand and didn't seem to hear me.

"Kate? Hello?"

She turned toward me. "I have never in my life been with a grown man who is so infantile, so stupid, so moronic, so harebrained, so reckless, so-"

I interrupted, "So I guess a blow job is out of the question."

"A what? Are you kidding?"

"Well ... I thought you said-"

"Don't speak to me."

"Okay."

So we both stood there on the little beach, naked, and I mean, she really looked good, not withstanding her wet hair and blue lips. She has this incredibly athletic yet voluptuous body, with breasts that defy the laws of gravity, and a tummy as flat and firm as a bar top, long legs that are as beautiful as any I've ever seen, including my own, and a patch of blond pubic hair that drives me crazy. Plus, she has a butt that is so firm I could barely get a good bite out of it.

She was looking at me, too, and I knew she was getting a little steamy despite the air temperature. We're really physically attracted, and we click sexually, so even when she's not speaking to me, which is about twice a week, we can still make love. To tell the truth, I sometimes like it that way.

Anyway, I made the first move toward her, and she hesitated, then dropped her clothes and took a step toward me.

I felt some warm blood making its way back into my shriveled weenie.

We stood a few feet apart, face-to-face, then our hands reached out, and we caressed each other. Big John perked up a little more, then she took it in her hand and said, "That's hot."

I put my fingers between her legs. "It's hot in there, too."

By now, we were both hot as pistols, proving once again that when you're having a disagreement with your partner, just skip the conversation and get down to the sex.

We came closer, and I could feel her breasts on my chest, and her thighs against mine, and her hands on my butt, pulling me closer.

I dropped to my knees and kissed her blond bush, and I was about to drop onto my back so she could get on top, but she suddenly turned and said, "Kiss it where you bit me."

Okay. I didn't remember where I bit her, so I covered the whole field.

Then she turned around and demanded, "Tell me you're sorry."

So, still on my knees, I said, "I'm sorry."

"Kiss my toes."

Well, all right. I kissed her sandy toes.

"Lie on your back."

I rolled back and lay on the sand.

Kate knelt between my legs and took Big John in her hand, commenting, "This guy needs some work." She put her other hand on my scrotum. "Where did they go?"

"Someplace warm."

She put her head down between my legs, and within a few minutes, testicles A and B had dropped into their proper position, and Big John was standing straight up, pointing to Pegasus.

Kate lowered herself on me, stretched out, and moved her hips at her own pace until she had one of her quietly intense orgasms.

She rolled off, stood, and began getting dressed.

I felt a little used. "I think you forgot me."

She shook the sand out of her bra. "You're much nicer to me when you're horny."

"Actually, I get real mean when I'm horny."

She smiled. "No, you're a total puppy dog."

I sat up. "I'm really close. I just need a minute of your time."

She slipped on her skirt and sweater and said, "If you can wait until we get into a nice warm shower, I'll make it worth the wait."

"Deal." I stood quickly and got dressed in my damp clothes.

We got back into the Jeep, and Kate turned the heater up full blast.