Over this

time Xia Ling Mei was not relaxed and comfortable as she appeared.

w.a.n.g Yun

Feng’s demotion appeared to be a compromise between the emperor and the

influential families, beating w.a.n.g Yun Feng down, as if compensating the influential

families he had offended in the past. As if to say, look at me, executioner

w.a.n.g Yun Feng has been demoted, they found their opportunity, the emperor isn’t

happy, that’s why the emperor punished him, pulling him down from third rank to

fifth rank, see the emperor pays attention to everyone’s opinions.

In realty, people

who use their heads inevitably think further into the future. Back then w.a.n.g

Yun Feng was given the imperial decree to investigate, in a short half a year

he went to quite a few places, getting in touch with a lot of officials and

ordinary people. Supposedly the accounts book he handed over when he came back,

it was enough for a case to be spread over an area, it was clear how many

people how many dirty things were reported. 

But after handing the things over

they never left home, and had little contact with the outside world, the

emperor even after seeing all those accounts book did not do anything, it was

too strange.

It was like

someone shouting `a storm is coming, concentrated black clouds were heading

over, the sun was blocked, clothes had been taken inside, but waiting for

around a month, that gale shower simply did not come, making people feel they

made a fuss over nothing, were they played by w.a.n.g Yun Feng?

The rats

hiding in the government offices stealthily stuck their heads out, after

conspiring together they decided to make the first move, pulling w.a.n.g Yun Feng

off his horse, then once more negotiate with the emperor.

Afterwards,

w.a.n.g Yun Feng, w.a.n.g Yun Feng was off his horse, the emperor then did not show

any wish to sort out the corrupt officials.

All was

quiet.

But, not

even two days later, w.a.n.g Yun Feng was sent out on a mission. This disaster

relief, when he was to return was truthfully uncertain. Maybe, there were so

many victims of the disaster, resettling once more needed quite a lot of time,

and the dam had to be fixed, fertile land re-established, and to socialise with

the local officials, around a year would be 

necessary. If the matter wasn’t

settled, w.a.n.g Yun Feng may have to stay there unable to come home for several

years.

This was

equivalent to being appointed to a post outside of the capital, and might as

well be holding the power of a local simple official.

Over these

days she went to pry news from each family, and on the way coax a few

relations, allowing w.a.n.g Yun Feng to b able to return home a bit quicker. If

there were people helping inside the imperial court, w.a.n.g Yun Feng would not

have to suffer so much.

She was

anxious, even though she kept a relaxed and comfortable joyous appearance.

When Bai

Yan asked, she then dragged up the anger from the bottom of her heart.

“Where this

mistress goes, when she returns, is beyond your criticism.”

Bai Yan

simply was not afraid of Xia Ling Mei’s anger. He was w.a.n.g Yun Feng’s personal

guard, from start to finish he only listened to w.a.n.g Yun Feng’s orders, when he

considered things he stood in the viewpoint of w.a.n.g Yun Feng.

To Bai Yan,

he really couldn’t bear seeing Xia Ling Mei leave! He also believed, inside

this w.a.n.g residence the people who were wholeheartedly felt for w.a.n.g Yun Feng,

felt restless in their hearts every time Xia Ling Mei left the house.

Only, usually

w.a.n.g Yun Feng didn’t say anything, these people could only endure it. Like Xia

Ling Mei said, they simply weren’t in the position to ask. One was the master,

the other was a servant, when was a servant ent.i.tled to ask where their master

goes.

Xia Ling

Mei furiously returned to the rear court, a young maid scared witless poured

tea for her, and presented a few plates of light refreshments. The light

refreshments had just come out of the kitchen, soft and warm smelling sweet.

At the end

of the month, the dark red and green maple trees added colour against the grey

sky, even looking at it, you can feel the cold hovering in the air. This sort

of cold came from the deepest level, rubbing the both hands vigorously yet

warmth could not be felt, only seeing a dry palm, but the fingertips felt

sticky and unbearable.

Xia Ling

Mei stamped her feet with all her strength, pacing around the house a few

times. 

Xiu Yu and Ying s.h.i.+ saw she was fidgety, suggesting to embroider or

maybe look at paintings and calligraphy.

“I’m not

you, how can I be calm enough to do such things.”

Taking two

mouthful of light refreshments, she simply ran to the courtyard with her whip

and brandished it a few times, s.h.i.+pping the limestone floor that clay flew

upwards from the cracks.

On the half

dried up tree trunk, many yellow leaves were also shaken off, falling vastly

and variously, decorating her dark red long sleeves, very much resembling w.a.n.g

Yun Feng’s nostalgic portrait. In the seven years, w.a.n.g Yun Feng painted many

portraits of Xia Ling Mei, there were ones of her in her childhood learning

martial arts, clumsily falling onto the ground waiting; and there were ones of

her as a young lady, arrogantly laughing in a tyrannical manner; and ones when

they first married, extremely tired sleeping on the soft bed. The most were,

the silhouette of her brandis.h.i.+ng her whip over and over in all four seasons.

The Xia Ling Mei in the portraits was like a fireball, now and then igniting

the man’s intellect.

From the

servants view, the Xia Ling Mei today had been angered quite a bit by Bai Yan,

treating the floor like Bai Yan as she flogged it. Everyone waiting upon her,

couldn’t help take a step and another back, making all the effort to hide their

figure, hoping the mistress wouldn’t spread the destruction.

Under the

old housekeeper’s armpits was wedged a thin cloth, swaying unhurriedly pa.s.s the

doorway of the courtyard, he took a furtive look, he asked laughing: “Mistress,

do you want this old slave to truss up Bai Yan for you to vent out your anger?”

“Humph!”

“Aiya, that

boy Bai Yan has been difficult since he was a child. The more he cares about

something the more he speaks lightly, its rather a trivial matter, he wishes

for the whole world to be in chaos…a matter as small as a sesame seed.”

Could it be

the reason he went to find Xia Ling Mei was for `a big matter` the size of sesame

seed?

Xia Ling Mei couldn’t get angry at

the old housekeeper, she flicked her wrist, relaxing the long whip, the asked:

“Does the old housekeeper want to say something to me on behalf of Bai Yan?”

The old

housekeeper gently laughed: “It’s nothing, it’s only a matter as big as a

sesame seed.”

If it could

make the old housekeeper warn her cautiously and seriously, how could it be a

trivial matter.

Xia Ling

Mei put away the long whip, taking the handkerchief offered by a young maid to

wipe her sweat, and went to change her clothes, once again drank some hot tea,

before then sitting down calmly to listen to the old housekeeper.

“Mistress,

this old slave’s words may be right, or may not be right. But, as an old person

who has lived in the w.a.n.g residence all his life, I hope you will carefully

listen to this old slaves words, then consider it before again making a

decision.”

Xia Ling

Mei nodded, both hands holding the teacup, compared to just now she was cold to

the bones, at this moment at least her palms were a little warm.

“This old

slave has said to the mistress before, a pained heart is true suffering. The

suffering our master had when he was young was from the old master, it’s a type

of suffering every son of an imperial censor has to experience. The position of

an imperial censor, an average person cannot do it, it offends many, very few

close friends. As a child the master had a gentle temper, the common saying a

virtuous person will be taken unfair advantage of by people, when the master

was bullied, for the most part he was used to suffering in silence, over time

people didn’t even know he was suffering.

By the time

he was a young man, the mistress has also experienced it, that is the matter

with the Zhao princess. At that time, the master finally for the first time

faced up to his own capabilities, he discovered he was too weak, unable to

control his own future. His suffering at that time, was a suffering we all

experienced, an unattainable suffering.

During that

time, the master almost had a setback which ruined him.”

Xia Ling

Mei lowered her head, concealing the pain in the corner of her eyes. At that

time, far more than w.a.n.g Yun Feng being unable to obtain Xia Ling Wo, she Xia

Ling Mei married w.a.n.g Yun Feng, but could not obtain his heart, how much more

was that sort of bitter pain compared to w.a.n.g Yung Feng?

“That year,

the master found himself to be too weak, on the wedding night the old mistress

was seriously ill, afterwards, the old master also pa.s.sed away. Only the

mistress was left by his side, and three years later, even the mistress was

gone forever. Even the master didn’t know, at that time there was a child in

mistress’ stomach. Almost in a night, he lost the people closest to him. He became a

loner.”

Turning her

head, Xia Ling Mei’s gazed at the middle of the courtyard. The leaves which had

just fallen had already been trampled on, pulverising them into slush, yellow,

black and brown, clumping into a dumpling, representing those heart wrenching

days.

“Saying a

few disrespectful words, sometimes this old slave look at him, he only seems

like a large dog having been abandoned by his family, alone guarding his den,

afraid to wander too far, dreading when the mistress returned she wouldn’t see

him; yet he didn’t dare to stay at the den every day, because guarding such a

huge house by himself, day by day, year by year, from hope to fear, again to

despair, then desperation, until finally, he didn’t even know why he was

guarding this place, who he was waiting for…”

The old

housekeeper couldn’t help take out a smoking pipe, trembling he opened the pack

of tobacco, unintentionally he grabbed a lot of tobacco threads pus.h.i.+ng it into

the spot of the pipe, using all his strength to push, striking it with

enthusiasm with his finger. His movements were too great, he didn’t even glance

at the accounts book which fell out.

“The master

was promoted very quickly, depending entirely on the relations the mistress had

established for him at that time. Later the emperor summoned him, speaking to

him for a night, the next day when the master came back he immediately wrote

the accounts book, reporting someone to the emperor. That was the first time

the master supervised a beheading, watching the whole family of a corrupt

official regardless whether they were men, women, young or old, all of them

beheaded, blood covered the floor, having washed it away the scent of blood

could be smelled half a street away. After, he would come across a.s.sa.s.sination

day and night, several times his life was suspended by a thread, sometimes he

stayed in bed for a month, having got up for a few days, again he would report

someone, that rude and impetuous manner, it resembled jealousy and hatred, which

brought about his own destruction.

The master

has been alone for too long, unconsciously he believed the mistress would never

return. He didn’t have his parents, the family didn’t want him, he had no

meaning by himself…”

Speaking up

to this point, the old housekeeper suddenly started coughing, pulling from the

pipe even more fiercely. The cup of tea in Xia Ling Mei had already turned

cold, her bones also felt a slight chill.

“At the end

of every year he waited for the mistress to return, becoming the hope which

supported him to go on with a clear-head.”

“Clear-head?”

“Yes,

clear-head. While the mistress wasn’t in Beiding city, the master seemed to

live in his dreamland in general, no matter what finding all kinds of reasons

to hurt himself. Many times, the old slave felt, he hoped to get hurt, because

only when he is seriously injured can he fall asleep, when he’s in pain he

doesn’t have to think about anything, even more he wouldn’t have the energy to

paint, take a stroll around Bailu academy, go to the Xia residence to be

bullied.”

The old

housekeeper laughed, wrinkles forming on his forehead into the word `川`. Taping the pipe, he disposed some

cigarette ash no longer burning, those matters from the past dissipated with

the cigarette ash.

“The

mistress has returned, this old slave is truly extremely happy. Even more happy

because, there’s the young master, even if he hasn’t had the time to

acknowledge his ancestors, he is still the son of the master’s first wife, the

people in the residence is genuinely happy for the master. Everyone in the

residence firmly believe it will become better and better, the old master will

no longer be harmed, and won’t wander about day and night, he will busily be

sweet with the mistress.”

Xia Ling

Mei laughed.

The old

housekeeper also laughed: “And busily catch the young master. The young master

really is wild, when this old slave first discovered there was such a lively

child of the w.a.n.g family, not abiding by the rules, mischievously stir up

trouble, and commit any imaginable misdeed. He was so naughty, this old slave

really wanted to beat him up.”

Xia Ling Mei

laughed even more cheerfully and light-hearted.

“But,” The

old housekeeper brushed away the ash on his knee, that smile of his was like an

afterglow, slowly it died out.

Xia Ling

Mei was silent, she faintly knew what the other person wanted to say. The smile

at the corner of her mouth also faded, fingertips running along the edge of the

teacup, the tea leaves in the cup had already been soaked so long they turned

yellow, the greenish-blue liquid was polluted by the blackness of the person’s

heart, yellowish-black evenly contaminated the dark green.

She said:

“But the memories of the past are too profound, he will always be worried,

afraid I will be disappointed in him, scared Fen Er will be angry with him, dreading

the family he had obtained with great difficulty will once again leave.”

Xia Ling

Mei incidentally lifted her head, that’s when she notice there was something

sliding from the corners of her eyes, flowing to her temple: “Bai Yan repeatedly

wanted to say something to me but then hesitated, he was afraid I would leave

once again and hurt w.a.n.g Yun Feng, right…”

“He wants

to ask the mistress to go with the master. Because, no one knows this time with the

master’s departure, if he’ll actually be able to return.”

There was a

scar on w.a.n.g Yun Feng’s heart, he was determined everyone could easily abandon

him. His parents, his wife, his son, everyone could leave him, even if they

wouldn’t right now, sooner or later in the future they will.

He will

forever be alone.

He wanted

to protect them, but he also didn’t dare to.

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T/N: An insight into our WYF's heart >_< and="" why="" xlm="" is="" so="" willing="" to="">