336.

"Well, do you like him?"

"Leon? Sure."

"Sounds like you two hit it off. Sounds like maybe you all-"

"No! He's not my type, Novalee. I mean, he's a nice guy and all, but there's no electricity there. None at all."

"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony and this woman in Holy Matrimony "I've tried to call you a dozen times, Lexie, but you're never home."

"Yeah, I know. Leon took us bowling last Sat.u.r.day and on Tuesday we went to play miniature golf. If I don't stay home and get some laundry done, my kids are going to have to give up wearing underwear."

"Where were you last night? I drove by your place about eight.

Thought we might take the kids out for ice cream."

"We went to the mall with Leon and his kids. He had to buy his little boy some pajamas, so we went to Sears. And I bought Pauline a blouse. Then the strangest thing happened, Novalee. While we were there, I put on this funny hat. Black with red flowers all over it. And you know what? While I was acting silly, posing in that hat, Leon told me I was pretty. He touched my lip and my eye and he said I was pretty. Can you imagine that?"

"Because marriage is ordained by G.o.d and is built on a firm foundation of trust and respect foundation of trust and respect "So yesterday when I told Leon that Brummett was in another fight at school, he said he'd go with me to see the counselor."

337.

"Why do you have to do that?"

"It's something called a disciplinary conference. Remember when Brummett wrote 'Larry Dills french kissed a goat' on the bathroom wall?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I had to go to a disciplinary conference then. Mostly they talked about Brummett's 'behavior pattern' and his 'inability to control his emotions.'"

"He's doing a lot better though."

"Yeah. He's easier to live with. Leon's going to take him to meet one of his friends, a guy who runs a karate studio. Leon said martial arts teaches more than self-defense. He said it teaches self-control."

"Sounds like something I ought to take."

"Me too. I got so mad at work today I could have punched out a nurse on the cardiac unit. She spilled a cup of coffee on her desk and she made me clean it up. Acted like I was her janitor. I might just take Leon's advice some day and go to nursing school."

"Oh, Lexie. You should. You'd be wonderful."

"Well, if I ever get the chance, I just might. Anyway, I called for two reasons. Brummett and Leon caught a tub of c.r.a.ppie Wednesday night and they're going to treat us to a fish fry this evening. We want you and Americus to come."

"Can I bring anything?"

"No. Just come on over whenever you get in from work. Now, the second thing is this. Can I borrow your straw hat?"

"Sure."

"I'm going to be out in the sun all day Sat.u.r.day and you know how I burn. Leon's taking us to Arlington to see the Rangers play a doubleheader. Can you imagine what that's going to be? Seven kids in a ball park all day with nachos and hot dogs and . . ."

338.

"Do you Lexie take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold . . . husband? To have and to hold . . .

"I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love," Lexie yelled as she came bursting into the kitchen and whirled Novalee around.

"Whoa," Novalee said as she fell into a chair. "Lexie, do you know what time it is? I haven't even had my coffee yet."

"Did you hear what I said? I'm in love, Novalee!"

"Why is it so early and who are you in love with?"

"Leon! I'm in love with Leon Yoder! And I haven't even slept with him."

"But you said he didn't appeal to you."

"Forget what I said. King's X on what I said."

"Lexie, what's going on?"

"You're not going to believe this story, Novalee. You will not not believe it." believe it."

"Try me."

"Okay. Listen to this. Leon's daughter, Carol Ann? She is not not his daughter." his daughter."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Cody is his son, but Carol Ann isn't his daughter."

"And that's why you're in love."

"Now! Let me tell you how he got her."

"Lexie, let's have some coffee. I think you need it more than I do."

"Listen. Three years ago, Leon met a woman named Maxine. Max, he calls her. She had a little girl, Carol Ann. Well, Max moved in with Leon. Max and Carol Ann. You with me so far?"

Novalee nodded and rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands.

"Okay. Max gets pregnant with Leon's baby and Cody is born. So they have these two babies. Her Carol Ann and their Cody. Right?"

339.

"Right."

"Well, when Cody was just a few months old, Max up and says she's leaving. Going to Mexico. Just like that. She's through with Leon and she didn't want their baby, Cody. She didn't want her Carol Ann, either, until she found out Leon did. He said he was scared of what would happen to her if Max took her to Mexico because by then, he could see that Max was a s.h.i.tty mother.

"So, when Max found out Leon wanted the girl, she knew she had something to bargain with. Now, here's the clincher!

"Leon had a bright red '67 Camaro. And Max wanted it. So she traded her daughter for it."

"What?"

"Yes! She traded her daughter for a car."

"Lexie!"

"Leon never saw Max or the Camaro again."

"That's amazing."

"Novalee, when he told me that, I knew Leon Yoder was the pick of the litter." Lexie's eyes filled with tears, but she smiled. "And that's when I knew I was in love."

"I now p.r.o.nounce you Husband and Wife."

Chapter Thirty-Seven.

A T FIRST NOVALEE thought the music was in her dream. Slow romantic song. Lots of violins. She rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow, then realized she wasn't dreaming. The music was coming from outside her window. T FIRST NOVALEE thought the music was in her dream. Slow romantic song. Lots of violins. She rolled over and pressed her face into her pillow, then realized she wasn't dreaming. The music was coming from outside her window.

She checked the time as she crawled out of bed. Eighteen minutes before midnight. She tiptoed down the hall to the living room and peeked out the front window.

Benny Goodluck was sitting on her deck.

She eased the front door open, then stepped outside. The music was coming from his pickup parked in the drive; the volume was up, the windows rolled down.

"Benny, what are you doing?"

"Did I wake you up?"

He was wearing a tuxedo and c.u.mmerbund. His snap-on tie had come undone, the bow now dangling down the front of his stiff white shirt.

341.

"What's wrong, Benny?"

"Nothing."

"Then what are you doing here?"

"Are you mad, Novalee?"

"No, I'm not mad. But you're supposed to be at the prom."

He was folded into a lawn chair, his long legs stretched out in front of him. Pretending a sudden interest in the toe of one shoe, he bent to inspect it. "I was," he said, "but I left early."

"Where's your date? Where's Melissa?"

"I took her home."

"You sure ended the evening early."

"Well, Melissa didn't care," he said, but his words slid together and "Melissa" sounded like "Melissha."

"Benny, have you been drinking?"

"No. Well, not really. I had two beers."

"Is that why Melissa wanted to go home? Because you were drinking?"

"Yes. I mean no. I didn't drink until after I took her home, but . . ."

Benny twisted in his chair. "I didn't have a date for the prom, Novalee.

I told you a lie."

Novalee pulled up another lawn chair and sat down, pulling her legs up under her long cotton gown.

"I asked Melissa, but she already had a date and Janetta Whitekiller did, too, so I went by myself. But I wasn't the only one. Some other guys went without dates. Some of the other dweebs like me."

"Benny, don't say that. I'll bet both of those girls would've had a better time with you than whoever they went with. I'll bet they-"

"I didn't ask them, Novalee."

"What?"

"I didn't ask Melissa or Janetta. I lied about that, too."

342.

"You'd better be careful, Benny. All this practice at telling lies, you'll get good at it."

"I'm sorry, but . . ." Benny shrugged his shoulders, then slid down in his chair and put his head back.

"But what?"

"You want the truth?"

"Sure."

"Okay. I've never had a date, Novalee. I've never even been with a girl."