Actually, I already met you before.  But at that moment, I didn’t realize that our fates had already been intertwined.
Winter in Beijing is much colder than back at my home town.  It was so cold that when I sat on the bench inside Zhao Yang Park crying, the sadness wasn’t even the first thing on my mind--- ---Because it was so cold, it seemed that every drop of tear would instantly freeze into ice.  Therefore, I had to stop crying every so often, look up, and use napkins to wipe the tears.  Then--- ---continue crying again.
Suddenly, I felt something different.  I was somewhat startled.  Then I realized that it was a napkin moving towards my face.  I probably had cried myself silly, so I unconsciously reached out for the napkins next to me.  Sure enough, there wasn’t any left.  I looked up and saw him.
This was how I met Jia Han for the first time. Â He sat there, nodded slightly to me, and sincerely pa.s.sed over the napkin. Â I knew it was his own napkin, not stealing from those I had put on the bench. Â I, with my bad taste, still liked to use napkins with the fragrance of floral water. Â But this one in his hand had no scent at all.
His lips slightly tightened with a somewhat pent-up frustrated look. Â But what I could see on his face from beginning to end was an unperturbed calming smile.
He’s maybe a few years older than me.  As I was thinking about this, I hesitantly took the napkin and quietly said: thanks.  Afterwards, I couldn’t help myself from sizing him up.
As I looked back now, Â maybe the only reason that I had talked so much that day--- ---I, underestimated him.
I was quite surprised after I looked more closely. Â He was sitting right in front of me. Â But right in front of me was the main pa.s.sageway of the park, then he--- ---I immediately saw the wheelchair under him. Â This may have been the reason that I let down all my guards. Â Unconsciously I must have thought that, because of his disability, even if he harbored any evil ideas it would be difficult for him to carry them out. Â So, I poured out all the words that had been buried for a long time inside of me.
I cried a few more times in between. Â Words became unclear when I tried to talk while crying. Â Maybe my vision was blurry, but he seemed to come closer and carefully looked at my face. Â Ha, I self-mockingly thought, maybe, a crying beauty is still a beauty.
Just like this, maybe it lasted only ten minutes.  But after I vented all my emotions, I suddenly discovered--- ---that the sun was beaming high in the sky.  I thought, this was where the idiom “every cloud has a silver lining” came from![1]  Even though this stranger didn’t say a word or show any emotion, I was still very thankful for that piece of napkin he handed to me on that freezing morning.  Maybe without it, I would come down with a cold after I got home.
His nurse or a.s.sistant rushed over, panting.  “Your older brother insisted that I bring this over.”
I looked more closely, it’s a thin blanket.  The young man didn’t show any objection.  His a.s.sistant opened the blanket and put it on his lap.
The legs were long, but very thin. Â Without knowing why, my heart sighed.
I got up, thanking him again and said my goodbye: “Thanks, I got to go……”
I didn’t expect to see him frowning and looking at my side.  I finally realized that the trash, which I had created while I was crying myself out, had piled up into a little white mound.  With an embarra.s.sed smile, I hastily scooped them up and quickly threw them into the trash can nearby.  I turned and showed him both my hands.  I mean, I am environmentally conscious.
I wasn’t mentally prepared to see him open his mouth and smile.  I didn’t know that a man’s smile could be so comforting and beautiful.  I think my heart probably fell for him right at that very moment.  Even though I wouldn’t admit it for a long time afterwards.