I can't just say what I feel to-day, for I'm not a talkin' man, But, first an' last, I am standin' fast for all that's American.

So don't you speak of the bolsheveek, it's sick of that stuff I am!

One G.o.d, one flag is the creed I brag! I'm boostin' for Uncle Sam."

A Boy and His Stomach

What's the matter with you--ain't I always been your friend?

Ain't I been a pardner to you? All my pennies don't I spend In gettin' nice things for you? Don't I give you lots of cake?

Say, stummick, what's the matter, that you had to go an' ache?

Why, I loaded you with good things yesterday, I gave you more Potatoes, squash an' turkey than you'd ever had before.

I gave you nuts an' candy, pumpkin pie an' chocolate cake, An' las' night when I got to bed you had to go an' ache.

Say, what's the matter with you--ain't you satisfied at all?

I gave you all you wanted, you was hard jes' like a ball, An' you couldn't hold another bit of puddin', yet las' night You ached mos' awful, stummick; that ain't treatin' me jes' right.

I've been a friend to you, I have, why ain't you a friend o' mine?

They gave me castor oil last night because you made me whine.

I'm awful sick this mornin' an' I'm feelin' mighty blue, 'Cause you don't appreciate the things I do for you.

Home and the Office

Home is the place where the laughter should ring, And man should be found at his best.

Let the cares of the day be as great as they may, The night has been fashioned for rest.

So leave at the door when the toiling is o'er All the burdens of worktime behind, And just be a dad to your girl or your lad-- A dad of the rollicking kind.

The office is made for the tasks you must face; It is built for the work you must do; You may sit there and sigh as your cares pile up high, And no one may criticize you; You may worry and fret as you think of your debt, You may grumble when plans go astray, But when it comes night, and you shut your desk tight, Don't carry the burdens away.

Keep daytime for toil and the nighttime for play, Work as hard as you choose in the town, But when the day ends, and the darkness descends, Just forget that you're wearing a frown-- Go home with a smile! Oh, you'll find it worth while; Go home light of heart and of mind; Go home and be glad that you're loved as a dad, A dad of the fun-loving kind.

He's Taken Out His Papers

He's taken out his papers, an' he's just like you an' me.

He's sworn to love the Stars and Stripes an' die for it, says he.

An' he's done with dukes an' princes, an' he's done with kings an' queens, An' he's pledged himself to freedom, for he knows what freedom means.

He's bought himself a bit of ground, an', Lord, he's proud an' glad!

For in the land he came from that is what he never had.

Now his kids can beat his writin', an' they're readin' books, says he, That the children in his country never get a chance to see.

He's taken out his papers, an' he's prouder than a king: "It means a lot to me," says he, "just like the breath o' spring, For a new life lies before us; we've got hope an' faith an' cheer; We can face the future bravely, an' our kids don't need to fear."

He's taken out his papers, an' his step is light to-day, For a load is off his shoulders an' he treads an easier way; An' he'll tell you, if you ask him, so that you can understand, Just what freedom means to people who have known some other land.

Castor Oil

I don't mind lickin's, now an' then, An' I can even stand it when My mother calls me in from play To run some errand right away.

There's things 'bout bein' just a boy That ain't all happiness an' joy, But I suppose I've got to stand My share o' trouble in this land, An' I ain't kickin' much--but, say, The worst of parents is that they Don't realize just how they spoil A feller's life with castor oil.

Of all the awful stuff, Gee Whiz!

That is the very worst there is.

An' every time if I complain, Or say I've got a little pain, There's nothing else that they can think 'Cept castor oil for me to drink.

I notice, though, when Pa is ill, That he gets fixed up with a pill, An' Pa don't handle Mother rough An' make her swallow nasty stuff; But when I've got a little ache, It's castor oil I've got to take.

I don't mind goin' up to bed Afore I get the chapter read; I don't mind being scolded, too, For lots of things I didn't do; But, Gee! I hate it when they say, "Come! Swallow this--an' right away!"

Let poets sing about the joy It is to be a little boy, I'll tell the truth about my case: The poets here can have my place, An' I will take their life of-toil If they will take my castor oil.

A Father's Wish

What do I want my boy to be?

Oft is the question asked of me, And oft I ask it of myself-- What corner, niche or post or shelf In the great hall of life would I Select for him to occupy?

Statesman or writer, poet, sage Or toiler for a weekly wage, Artist or artisan? Oh, what Is to become his future lot?

For him I do not dare to plan; I only hope he'll be a man.

I leave it free for him to choose The tools of life which he shall use, Brush, pen or chisel, lathe or wrench, The desk of commerce or the bench, And pray that when he makes his choice In each day's task he shall rejoice.

I know somewhere there is a need For him to labor and succeed; Somewhere, if he be clean and true, Loyal and honest through and through, He shall be fit for any clan, And so I hope he'll be a man.

I would not build my hope or ask That he shall do some certain task, Or bend his will to suit my own; He shall select his post alone.

Life needs a thousand kinds of men, Toilers and masters of the pen, Doctors, mechanics, st.u.r.dy hands To do the work which it commands, And wheresoe'er he's pleased to go, Honor and triumph he may know.

Therefore I must do all I can To teach my boy to be a man.

No Better Land Than This

If I knew a better country in this glorious world today Where a man's work hours are shorter and he's drawing bigger pay, If the Briton or the Frenchman had an easier life than mine, I'd pack my goods this minute and I'd sail across the brine.

But I notice when an alien wants a land of hope and cheer, And a future for his children, he comes out and settles here.