But with that said and done and written down, it's important to understand that you won't necessarily be able to call all the shots during labor, no matter how well prepared you are and no matter what type of practitioner you are laboring with. The best-laid plans of obstetrical patients and their practitioners can give way to a variety of unforeseeable circumstances, and it makes sense to prepare for that possibility, too. For instance, you'd planned to go through labor completely unmedicated, but an extremely long and trying active phase has sapped you of your strength. Or you'd hoped for an epidural, but your labor's going extremely quickly and the anesthesiologist doesn't arrive in time. Learning when it's necessary to relinquish the reins-and be flexible-is also in the best interest of you and your baby, and it is an important part of your childbirth education.

Hospital Tours "I've always associated hospitals with sick people. How can I get more comfortable with the idea of giving birth in one?"

The labor and delivery floor is by far the happiest in the hospital. Still, if you don't know what to expect, you can arrive not only with contractions, but with apprehension. That's why the vast majority of hospitals and birthing centers encourage expectant couples to take advance tours of maternity facilities. Ask about such tours when you preregister, and look online, too. Some hospitals and birthing centers have websites that offer virtual tours. You can also stop in for an informal peek during visiting hours; even if the actual labor and delivery area is off-limits then, you'll be able to view postpartum rooms and take a good look at the nursery. Besides making you feel more comfortable about the surroundings where you'll be giving birth, this will give you the opportunity to check out what real newborns look like before you hold your own in your arms.

Chances are you'll be happily surprised by what you see when you pay your visit. Facilities vary from hospital to hospital and from birthing center to birthing center, but as competition for obstetrical patients increases, the range of amenities and services offered in many areas has become more and more impressive-less hospital, more hotel. Comfy birthing rooms are the rule, rather than the exception, in more and more hospitals (they've always been common at birthing centers staffed by midwives).

Childbirth Education The countdown is on-and baby's just around the corner (give or take a few months). Of course you're eagerly awaiting the arrival of your little one. But are you just as eager for the arrival of labor and delivery? Could that be trepidation (make that panic) mixed in with that excited anticipation?

Relax. It's normal to be a little nervous about childbirth-or even a lot, especially if you're a first timer. Just about every parent-to-be is. But fortunately, there's a great way to ease jitters, to calm worries, and to feel less anxious and more confident when that first contraction strikes: by getting educated.

A little knowledge and a lot of preparation can go a long way in helping you feel more comfortable when you enter the birthing room. Reading all about childbirth can definitely give you an idea of what to expect (and you can start doing that on page 380 page 380), but a good childbirth education class can fill in even more blanks. So it's back to school, Mama (and Papa).

Benefits of Taking a Childbirth Class What's in a childbirth education class for you and your coach? That depends, of course, on the course you take, the instructor who teaches it, and on your attitudes (as was true back in your school days, the more you put in, the more you tend to get out of a childbirth education class). No matter what, there's something in it for every soon-to-be-laboring team. Some potential benefits include: [image] A chance to spend time with other expectant couples who are at the same stage of pregnancy as you are-to share experiences and tips; compare progress; trade tales of woes, worries, aches, and pains; and swap notes on baby gear, nursery gear, pediatricians, and child care. In other words, lots of expectant camaraderie and empathy. It's also a chance to make friends with other couples who, like you, will soon be parents (a definite plus if your current crowd of friends hasn't taken the baby plunge yet). Keep in touch with these classmates after delivery and you've got yourself a ready-to-go parent's group-and playgroup for the kids. Many classes hold "reunions" once everyone has delivered. A chance to spend time with other expectant couples who are at the same stage of pregnancy as you are-to share experiences and tips; compare progress; trade tales of woes, worries, aches, and pains; and swap notes on baby gear, nursery gear, pediatricians, and child care. In other words, lots of expectant camaraderie and empathy. It's also a chance to make friends with other couples who, like you, will soon be parents (a definite plus if your current crowd of friends hasn't taken the baby plunge yet). Keep in touch with these classmates after delivery and you've got yourself a ready-to-go parent's group-and playgroup for the kids. Many classes hold "reunions" once everyone has delivered.[image] A chance for dad to join in. So much of pregnancy revolves around mom, which can sometimes leave an expectant father feeling like he's on the outside looking in. Childbirth education classes are aimed at both parents and help to get dad feeling like the valued member of the baby team he is-particularly important if he hasn't been able to attend all the prenatal visits. Classes will also get dad up to speed on labor and delivery so that he can be a more effective coach when those contractions start coming. Best of all, perhaps, he'll be able to hang out with other guys who can relate-among other things, to those maternal mood swings he's been on the receiving end of and to nagging feelings of daddy self-doubt. Some courses include a special session for fathers only, which gives them the chance to open up about concerns they might otherwise not feel comfortable expressing. A chance for dad to join in. So much of pregnancy revolves around mom, which can sometimes leave an expectant father feeling like he's on the outside looking in. Childbirth education classes are aimed at both parents and help to get dad feeling like the valued member of the baby team he is-particularly important if he hasn't been able to attend all the prenatal visits. Classes will also get dad up to speed on labor and delivery so that he can be a more effective coach when those contractions start coming. Best of all, perhaps, he'll be able to hang out with other guys who can relate-among other things, to those maternal mood swings he's been on the receiving end of and to nagging feelings of daddy self-doubt. Some courses include a special session for fathers only, which gives them the chance to open up about concerns they might otherwise not feel comfortable expressing.[image] A chance to ask questions that come up between prenatal visits or that you don't feel comfortable asking your practitioner (or that you never seem to have the time to ask in the context of a hurried visit). A chance to ask questions that come up between prenatal visits or that you don't feel comfortable asking your practitioner (or that you never seem to have the time to ask in the context of a hurried visit).[image] A chance to learn all about it-labor and delivery, that is. Through lecture, discussion, models, and video, you'll get an inside peek at what childbirth's all about-from prelabor symptoms to crowning to cutting the cord. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll feel when it's actually happening to you. A chance to learn all about it-labor and delivery, that is. Through lecture, discussion, models, and video, you'll get an inside peek at what childbirth's all about-from prelabor symptoms to crowning to cutting the cord. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll feel when it's actually happening to you.[image] A chance to learn all about your pain relief options, from Demerol to an epidural to a spinal-even to CAM approaches. A chance to learn all about your pain relief options, from Demerol to an epidural to a spinal-even to CAM approaches.[image] A chance to get hands-on instruction in breathing, relaxation, and other alternative approaches to pain relief and to get feedback from an expert as you learn. Mastering these coping strategies-and coaching techniques-may help you be more relaxed during labor and delivery, while somewhat decreasing your perception of pain. They'll also come in handy if you're planning on signing up for an epidural or other pain meds. A chance to get hands-on instruction in breathing, relaxation, and other alternative approaches to pain relief and to get feedback from an expert as you learn. Mastering these coping strategies-and coaching techniques-may help you be more relaxed during labor and delivery, while somewhat decreasing your perception of pain. They'll also come in handy if you're planning on signing up for an epidural or other pain meds.[image] A chance to become familiar with the medical interventions sometimes used during childbirth, including fetal monitoring, IVs, vacuum extraction, and C-sections. You may not encounter any of the available interventions during your labor-or only one or two-but knowing about them ahead of time will make labor a little less intimidating. A chance to become familiar with the medical interventions sometimes used during childbirth, including fetal monitoring, IVs, vacuum extraction, and C-sections. You may not encounter any of the available interventions during your labor-or only one or two-but knowing about them ahead of time will make labor a little less intimidating.[image] A chance to have a relatively more enjoyable labor-and a relatively less stressful one-thanks to all of the above. Couples who've had childbirth preparation generally rate their childbirth experiences as more satisfying overall than those who haven't. A chance to have a relatively more enjoyable labor-and a relatively less stressful one-thanks to all of the above. Couples who've had childbirth preparation generally rate their childbirth experiences as more satisfying overall than those who haven't.[image] A chance to become empowered. Knowledge is always power, but it can be especially powerful when you're in labor. By eliminating the fear of the unknown (what you don't know, in this case, can definitely hurt your confidence), a childbirth education class can leave you feeling more in control, more empowered-ready to handle just about any labor scenario that nature throws your way. A chance to become empowered. Knowledge is always power, but it can be especially powerful when you're in labor. By eliminating the fear of the unknown (what you don't know, in this case, can definitely hurt your confidence), a childbirth education class can leave you feeling more in control, more empowered-ready to handle just about any labor scenario that nature throws your way.

Choosing a Childbirth Class So you've decided to take a childbirth class. But where do you begin looking for one? And how do you choose?

In some communities, where childbirth class options are limited, the choice of which class to take is a relatively simple one. In others, the variety of offerings can be overwhelming and confusing. Courses are run by hospitals, by private instructors, by practitioners through their offices. There are "early bird" prenatal classes, taken in the first or second trimester, which cover such pregnancy topics as nutrition, exercise, fetal development, and sex; and there are down-to-the-wire 6- to 10-week childbirth preparation classes, usually begun in the seventh or eighth month, which concentrate on labor, delivery, and postpartum mother and baby care. There are even weekend getaway classes.

If the pickings are slim, any childbirth class is probably better than none at all. If there is a selection of courses where you live, it may help to consider the following when making your decision:

Back To School Besides studying up on childbirth techniques these days, there's another class you should consider signing up for now: infant CPR and first aid. Even though you don't actually have the baby yet, there's no better time to learn how to keep that little bundle you're about to deliver safe and sound. First, because you won't have to line up a babysitter to attend class now. And second-and more important-because you'll be able to bring baby home, secure in the knowledge that you have all the necessary know-how at your fingertips in case of an emergency. You can find a course by contacting the American Red Cross (redcross.org. or the American Heart Association (americanheart.org/cpr), or check with your local hospital.

Who sponsors the class? A class that is run by, under the auspices of, or recommended by your practitioner often works out best. Also useful could be a class provided by the hospital or birthing center where you'll be delivering. If the laboring and delivering philosophy of your childbirth education teacher varies a lot from that of the person or staff who will be assisting you during labor and delivery, you're bound to run into contradictions and conflicts. If differences of opinion do arise, make sure you address them with your practitioner well before your delivery date. A class that is run by, under the auspices of, or recommended by your practitioner often works out best. Also useful could be a class provided by the hospital or birthing center where you'll be delivering. If the laboring and delivering philosophy of your childbirth education teacher varies a lot from that of the person or staff who will be assisting you during labor and delivery, you're bound to run into contradictions and conflicts. If differences of opinion do arise, make sure you address them with your practitioner well before your delivery date.

What's the size of the class? Small is best. Five or six couples to a class is ideal; more than 10 or 12 may be too large. Not only can a teacher give more time and individual attention to couples in an intimate group-particularly important during the breathing and relaxation technique practice sessions-but the camaraderie in a small group tends to be stronger. Small is best. Five or six couples to a class is ideal; more than 10 or 12 may be too large. Not only can a teacher give more time and individual attention to couples in an intimate group-particularly important during the breathing and relaxation technique practice sessions-but the camaraderie in a small group tends to be stronger.

What's the curriculum like? To find out, ask for a cours outline. A good course includes a discussion of cesarean delivery (recognizing that more than a quarter of the students may end up having one) and of medication (recognizing, too, that many will need or want it). It deals with the psychological and emotional as well as the technical aspects of childbirth. A good course includes a discussion of cesarean delivery (recognizing that more than a quarter of the students may end up having one) and of medication (recognizing, too, that many will need or want it). It deals with the psychological and emotional as well as the technical aspects of childbirth.

How is the class taught? Are films of actual childbirths shown? Will you hear from mothers and fathers who've recently delivered? Will there be ample opportunity for parents-to-be to ask questions? Is enough time allowed during class for practicing the various techniques that are taught? Are films of actual childbirths shown? Will you hear from mothers and fathers who've recently delivered? Will there be ample opportunity for parents-to-be to ask questions? Is enough time allowed during class for practicing the various techniques that are taught?

For Information on Pregnancy/Childbirth Classes Ask your practitioner about classes in your area, or call the hospital where you plan to deliver. The following organizations can also give you referrals to local classes: Lamaze International: (800) 368-4404; lamaze.org Bradley: The Bradley Method: The Bradley Method: (800) 4-A-BIRTH (422-4784);.

bradleybirth.com International Childbirth Education Association: (952) 854-8660; icea.org Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators: (617) 441-2500; alace.org New Way Childbirth: (864) 268-1402; newwaychildbirth.com The American Society of Clinical Hypnosis: (630) 980-4740; asch.net Society for Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis: 617) 469-1981; sceh.us

Childbirth Education Options Childbirth education classes in your area may be taught by nurses, nurse-midwives, or other certified professionals. Approaches may vary from class to class, even among those trained in the same programs. The most common classes include: Lamaze. The Lamaze approach to childbirth education, pioneered by Dr. Fernand Lamaze in the 1950s, is probably the most widely used in the United States. Its foundation is the use of relaxation and breathing techniques by the laboring woman, along with continuous support from a spouse (or other coach) and trained nurse to allow the laboring woman to experience a more "natural" childbirth (remember, back in the 1950s, most delivering moms were put to sleep). According to the Lamaze philosophy, birth is normal, natural, and healthy, and a woman's confidence and ability to give birth naturally can be either enhanced or diminished by the level of support she receives from her care provider, as well as by the comfort of the birthing environment (which could be a birthing center or home as well as a hospital). The Lamaze approach to childbirth education, pioneered by Dr. Fernand Lamaze in the 1950s, is probably the most widely used in the United States. Its foundation is the use of relaxation and breathing techniques by the laboring woman, along with continuous support from a spouse (or other coach) and trained nurse to allow the laboring woman to experience a more "natural" childbirth (remember, back in the 1950s, most delivering moms were put to sleep). According to the Lamaze philosophy, birth is normal, natural, and healthy, and a woman's confidence and ability to give birth naturally can be either enhanced or diminished by the level of support she receives from her care provider, as well as by the comfort of the birthing environment (which could be a birthing center or home as well as a hospital).

The goal of Lamaze training is active concentration based on relaxation and rhythmic breathing patterns. To help with concentration, women are encouraged to direct their attention to a focal point. Courses also cover comfortable labor and birthing positions. breathing, distraction, and massage techniques; communication skills; and other comfort measures, as well as information on the early postpartum period and breastfeeding. Though the Lamaze philosophy states that women have a right to give birth free from routine medical interventions, classes generally cover most common interventions (including pain relief) to prepare couples for any birthing scenario. A traditional Lamaze course consists of six 2- to 2-hour sessions.

Bradley. This approach emphasizes deep abdominal breathing rather than panting. Bradley recommends that the laboring woman concentrate within herself and tune in to her own body to control the pain of the contractions, rather than relying on distractions. In Bradley classes, women learn to mimic their nighttime sleeping positions and breathing (which is deep and slow) for use during labor and to use relaxation techniques to make labor more comfortable. This approach emphasizes deep abdominal breathing rather than panting. Bradley recommends that the laboring woman concentrate within herself and tune in to her own body to control the pain of the contractions, rather than relying on distractions. In Bradley classes, women learn to mimic their nighttime sleeping positions and breathing (which is deep and slow) for use during labor and to use relaxation techniques to make labor more comfortable.

According to the Bradley technique, during labor a woman needs darkness, quiet, physical comfort aided by pillows, and closed eyes. Bradley teachers acknowledge that labor hurts, and they stress acceptance of pain. Medication is reserved for complications and C-sections (which are discussed so parents can be prepared for any eventuality), and about 87 percent of Bradley graduates who have vaginal births go without it. The typical Bradley course runs 12 weeks, beginning in the fifth month, and most are taught by married couples. "Early bird" Bradley classes, which focus on matters prenatal, are available.

International Childbirth Education Association (ICEA) classes. These classes tend to be broader in scope, covering more of the many options available today to expectant parents in family-centered maternity care and newborn care. They also recognize the importance of freedom of choice, and so classes focus on a wide range of possibilities rather than on a single approach to childbirth. Teachers are certified through ICEA. These classes tend to be broader in scope, covering more of the many options available today to expectant parents in family-centered maternity care and newborn care. They also recognize the importance of freedom of choice, and so classes focus on a wide range of possibilities rather than on a single approach to childbirth. Teachers are certified through ICEA.

Hypnobirthing. Classes for individuals or groups that teach how to use hypnosis to reduce discomfort and pain (and in some highly suggestible women, to eliminate it entirely), achieve a deep state of relaxation, as well as improve mood and attitude during labor and childbirth, are becoming more available. Check with your practitioner or a national clinical hypnosis organization for names of licensed health professionals who teach hypnobirthing. (For more on hypnobirthing, see Classes for individuals or groups that teach how to use hypnosis to reduce discomfort and pain (and in some highly suggestible women, to eliminate it entirely), achieve a deep state of relaxation, as well as improve mood and attitude during labor and childbirth, are becoming more available. Check with your practitioner or a national clinical hypnosis organization for names of licensed health professionals who teach hypnobirthing. (For more on hypnobirthing, see page 306 page 306.) Other childbirth classes. The range is wide. Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators (ALACE) champions a woman's right to a natural or unmedicated birth when at all possible. Rather than try to teach expectant parents how to avoid labor and childbirth pain, classes provide coping tools to work with the discomfort. Childbirth Education Preparation (CEP) certifies nurses and practical nurses as childbirth educators who are trained to run classes that explain and teach the many options, including Lamaze and Bradley, available to expectant parents during labor. In addition, there are childbirth education classes designed to prepare parents to deliver in a particular hospital, and classes sponsored by medical groups, health maintenance organizations (HMOs), or other health care provider groups. In some areas, prenatal classes, which cover all aspects of pregnancy as well as childbirth, are also offered, usually beginning in the first trimester. The range is wide. Association of Labor Assistants and Childbirth Educators (ALACE) champions a woman's right to a natural or unmedicated birth when at all possible. Rather than try to teach expectant parents how to avoid labor and childbirth pain, classes provide coping tools to work with the discomfort. Childbirth Education Preparation (CEP) certifies nurses and practical nurses as childbirth educators who are trained to run classes that explain and teach the many options, including Lamaze and Bradley, available to expectant parents during labor. In addition, there are childbirth education classes designed to prepare parents to deliver in a particular hospital, and classes sponsored by medical groups, health maintenance organizations (HMOs), or other health care provider groups. In some areas, prenatal classes, which cover all aspects of pregnancy as well as childbirth, are also offered, usually beginning in the first trimester.

Home study. If you are on bed rest, live in a remote area, or for some other reason can't or don't want to attend a group class, you can look into the Lamaze program on video or DVD available from Lamaze International. If you are on bed rest, live in a remote area, or for some other reason can't or don't want to attend a group class, you can look into the Lamaze program on video or DVD available from Lamaze International.

Weekend classes at resorts. These offer the same curriculum as typical classes, packed into a single weekend instead of spaced out over a series of weeks, and they are a nice choice for those who can-and would like to-get away. In addition to promoting camaraderie among expectant parents (especially rewarding if you don't have other pregnant friends to talk to at home), these weekends can promote romance, too-a nice plus for twosomes who are about to become threesomes. Plus, they're a great opportunity for some pre-baby pampering. These offer the same curriculum as typical classes, packed into a single weekend instead of spaced out over a series of weeks, and they are a nice choice for those who can-and would like to-get away. In addition to promoting camaraderie among expectant parents (especially rewarding if you don't have other pregnant friends to talk to at home), these weekends can promote romance, too-a nice plus for twosomes who are about to become threesomes. Plus, they're a great opportunity for some pre-baby pampering.

Classes for Second Timers Been there, done that? Pregnant with your second baby? Even seasoned pros stand to benefit from taking a childbirth education class. First of all, every labor and delivery is different, so what you experienced last time may not be what you can expect this time. Second, things change quickly in the delivery business, and they may have changed quite a bit, even if it's only been a couple of years since you were last on a birthing bed. There may be different childbirth options available than there were last time: Certain procedures that were routine may now be uncommon; certain procedures that were uncommon may now be routine. Taking another course may be especially useful if you'll be using a different hospital or birthing center. Chances are, however, that you won't have to sit in with the rookies. "Refresher" courses are available in most areas.

CHAPTER 12.

The Seventh Month Approximately 28 to 31 Weeks WELCOME TO YOUR THIRD-and final!-trimester. Believe it or not, you're two thirds of the way to the finish line, and just three months away from holding (and kissing, and cuddling) your prize. In this last stretch of pregnancy (definitely the biggest stretch, at least as far as your belly is concerned), you'll probably find the excitement and anticipation mounting-along with your pregnancy aches and pains, which tend to multiply as the load you're lugging gets heavier and heavier. Drawing near to the end of pregnancy also means you're closing in on labor and delivery, an event you'll begin planning for, preparing for, and getting educated about. Time to think about signing up for those classes, if you haven't already.

Your Baby This Month Week 28 This week, your amazing baby has reached 2 pounds and may be almost 16 inches long. Baby's skill of the week: blinking. Yes, along with the other tricks in a growing repertoire that already includes coughing, sucking, hiccupping, and taking practice breaths, your baby can now blink those sweet little eyes. Dreaming about your baby? Baby may be dreaming about you, too, courtesy of the REM (rapid eye movement) sleep he or she has started getting. But this little dreamer isn't ready for birth day just yet. Though his or her lungs are nearly fully mature by now (making it easier for your baby-and you-to breathe a little easier if he or she were born now), your baby still has a lot of growing to do. This week, your amazing baby has reached 2 pounds and may be almost 16 inches long. Baby's skill of the week: blinking. Yes, along with the other tricks in a growing repertoire that already includes coughing, sucking, hiccupping, and taking practice breaths, your baby can now blink those sweet little eyes. Dreaming about your baby? Baby may be dreaming about you, too, courtesy of the REM (rapid eye movement) sleep he or she has started getting. But this little dreamer isn't ready for birth day just yet. Though his or her lungs are nearly fully mature by now (making it easier for your baby-and you-to breathe a little easier if he or she were born now), your baby still has a lot of growing to do.

Your Baby, Month 7 Week 29 Your baby can be as tall as 17 inches now and can weigh nearly 3 pounds. Though already coming pretty close (within 3 inches or so) of his or her ultimate birth length, baby still has lots to gain. In fact, over the next 11 weeks, your baby more than doubles-and may even come close to tripling-his or her weight. Much of that weight will come from the fat accumulating under his or her skin right now. And as your baby plumps up, the room in your womb will start to feel a little cramped, making it less likely that you'll feel hard kicks from your little one, and more likely that you'll be feeling jabs and pokes from elbows and knees. Your baby can be as tall as 17 inches now and can weigh nearly 3 pounds. Though already coming pretty close (within 3 inches or so) of his or her ultimate birth length, baby still has lots to gain. In fact, over the next 11 weeks, your baby more than doubles-and may even come close to tripling-his or her weight. Much of that weight will come from the fat accumulating under his or her skin right now. And as your baby plumps up, the room in your womb will start to feel a little cramped, making it less likely that you'll feel hard kicks from your little one, and more likely that you'll be feeling jabs and pokes from elbows and knees.

Week 30 What's 17 inches long, just over 3 pounds in weight, and cute all over? It's your baby-and he or she is getting bigger by the day (in case you couldn't tell from the size of your belly). Also getting bigger daily is baby's brain, which is preparing for life outside the womb-and for a lifetime of learning. Starting this week, your baby's brain is starting to look like one, taking on those characteristic grooves and indentations. These wrinkles allow for future expansion of brain tissue that is crucial as your baby goes from helpless newborn to responsive infant to verbal toddler to curious preschooler and beyond. Your baby's bigger and better brain is also starting to take on tasks previously delegated to other parts of the body, like temperature regulation. Now that the brain is capable of turning up the heat (with the help of that growing supply of baby fat), your baby will start shedding lanugo, the downy, soft body hair that has been keeping him or her warm up to this point. Which means that by the time your baby is born, he or she probably won't be fuzzy wuzzy anymore. What's 17 inches long, just over 3 pounds in weight, and cute all over? It's your baby-and he or she is getting bigger by the day (in case you couldn't tell from the size of your belly). Also getting bigger daily is baby's brain, which is preparing for life outside the womb-and for a lifetime of learning. Starting this week, your baby's brain is starting to look like one, taking on those characteristic grooves and indentations. These wrinkles allow for future expansion of brain tissue that is crucial as your baby goes from helpless newborn to responsive infant to verbal toddler to curious preschooler and beyond. Your baby's bigger and better brain is also starting to take on tasks previously delegated to other parts of the body, like temperature regulation. Now that the brain is capable of turning up the heat (with the help of that growing supply of baby fat), your baby will start shedding lanugo, the downy, soft body hair that has been keeping him or her warm up to this point. Which means that by the time your baby is born, he or she probably won't be fuzzy wuzzy anymore.

Week 31 Though your baby still has 3 to 5 pounds more to gain before delivery, he or she is weighing in at an impressive 3-plus pounds this week. And at 18 inches long (give or take a couple because fetuses this age come in all sizes), your baby is quickly approaching his or her birth length. Also developing at an impressive clip these days: your baby's brain connections (baby has to make trillions of them). And he or she is able to put that complex web of brain connections to good use, too-already processing information, tracking light, and perceiving signals from all five senses. Your brainy baby is also a sleepy one, putting in longer stretches of snooze time, specifically in REM sleep-which is why you're probably noticing more defined patterns of awake (and kicking) and sleeping (quiet) times from your little one. Though your baby still has 3 to 5 pounds more to gain before delivery, he or she is weighing in at an impressive 3-plus pounds this week. And at 18 inches long (give or take a couple because fetuses this age come in all sizes), your baby is quickly approaching his or her birth length. Also developing at an impressive clip these days: your baby's brain connections (baby has to make trillions of them). And he or she is able to put that complex web of brain connections to good use, too-already processing information, tracking light, and perceiving signals from all five senses. Your brainy baby is also a sleepy one, putting in longer stretches of snooze time, specifically in REM sleep-which is why you're probably noticing more defined patterns of awake (and kicking) and sleeping (quiet) times from your little one.

Baby Brain Food Have you been feeding your baby's brain? Getting enough of those fabulous fats, the omega-3's, is more important than ever in the third trimester when your baby's brain development is being fast-tracked. See page 101 page 101 for all the good-fat facts. for all the good-fat facts.

What You May Be Feeling As always, remember that every pregnancy and every woman is different. You may experience all of these symptoms at one time or another, or only a few of them. Some may have continued from last month, others may be new. Still others may hardly be noticed because you've become so used to them. You may also have other, less common, symptoms. Here's what you might experience this month:

A Look Inside At the beginning of this month, your uterus is approximately 11 inches from the top of your pubic bone. By the end of the month, your baby's home has grown another inch in height and can be felt around 4 inches above your belly button. You may think that there's no more room for your womb to grow (it seems to have already filled up your abdomen), but you still have 8 to 10 more weeks of expansion ahead of you!

Physically [image] Stronger and more frequent fetal activity Stronger and more frequent fetal activity[image] Increasing vaginal discharge Increasing vaginal discharge[image] Achiness in the lower abdomen or along the sides Achiness in the lower abdomen or along the sides[image] Constipation Constipation[image] Heartburn, indigestion, flatulence, bloating Heartburn, indigestion, flatulence, bloating[image] Occasional headaches, faintness, or dizziness Occasional headaches, faintness, or dizziness[image] Nasal congestion and occasional nosebleeds; ear stuffiness Nasal congestion and occasional nosebleeds; ear stuffiness[image] Sensitive gums that may bleed when you brush Sensitive gums that may bleed when you brush[image] Leg cramps Leg cramps[image] Backache Backache[image] Mild swelling of ankles and feet, and occasionally of hands and face Mild swelling of ankles and feet, and occasionally of hands and face[image] Varicose veins of the legs Varicose veins of the legs[image] Hemorrhoids Hemorrhoids[image] Itchy abdomen Itchy abdomen[image] Protruding navel Protruding navel[image] Stretch marks Stretch marks[image] Shortness of breath Shortness of breath[image] Difficulty sleeping Difficulty sleeping[image] Scattered Braxton Hicks contractions, usually painless (the uterus hardens for a minute, then returns to normal) Scattered Braxton Hicks contractions, usually painless (the uterus hardens for a minute, then returns to normal)[image] Clumsiness Clumsiness[image] Enlarged breasts Enlarged breasts[image] Colostrum, leaking from nipples (though this premilk substance may not appear until after delivery) Colostrum, leaking from nipples (though this premilk substance may not appear until after delivery) Emotionally [image] Increasing excitement (the baby's coming soon!) Increasing excitement (the baby's coming soon!)[image] Increasing apprehension (the baby's coming soon!) Increasing apprehension (the baby's coming soon!)[image] Continued absentmindedness Continued absentmindedness[image] Strange and vivid dreams Strange and vivid dreams[image] Increased boredom and weariness with pregnancy or a sense of contentment and well-being, particularly if you're feeling great physically Increased boredom and weariness with pregnancy or a sense of contentment and well-being, particularly if you're feeling great physically What You Can Expect at This Month's Checkup A couple of new items are on the agenda at this month's checkup, along with the old standards. As you enter your last trimester, you can expect your practitioner to check the following, though there may be variations depending on your particular needs and on your practitioner's style of practice: [image] Weight and blood pressure Weight and blood pressure[image] Urine, for sugar and protein Urine, for sugar and protein[image] Fetal heartbeat Fetal heartbeat[image] Height of fundus (top of uterus) Height of fundus (top of uterus)[image] Size and position of fetus, by external palpation (feeling from the outside) Size and position of fetus, by external palpation (feeling from the outside)[image] Feet and hands for swelling, and legs for protruding varicose veins Feet and hands for swelling, and legs for protruding varicose veins[image] Glucose screening test Glucose screening test[image] Blood test for anemia Blood test for anemia[image] Symptoms you have been experiencing, especially unusual ones Symptoms you have been experiencing, especially unusual ones[image] Questions and problems you want to discuss-have a list ready Questions and problems you want to discuss-have a list ready What You May Be Wondering About Fatigue Revisited "I was feeling really energetic for the last few months, and now I'm starting to drag again. Is this what I have to look forward to in the third trimester?"

Pregnancy is full of ups and downs-not only when it comes to moods (and libidos) but when it comes to energy levels. That trademark first-trimester fatigue is often followed by a second-trimester energy high, making those typically comfortable middle months the ideal time to pursue just about any activity (Exercise! Sex! Travel! All three in one weekend!). But by the third trimester, many moms-to-be find themselves once again dragging-and eyeing the sofa longingly.

And that's not surprising. Though some women continue to sprint as they close in on the pregnancy finish line (remember, every pregnancy is different, even when it comes to energy levels), there are lots more good reasons why you might be lagging behind. The best reason can be found around your midsection. After all, you're carrying much more weight there (and other places) than you were earlier on-and carting those extra pounds can be exhausting. Another reason: These days, that extra bulk may be lying (literally) between you and a good night's sleep, leaving you less rested each morning. Your baby-overloaded mind (jam-packed with shopping lists, to-do lists, baby-name lists, questions-to-ask-the-doctor lists) may also be costing you z's-and energy. Add other, unrelated life responsibilities to the mix-a job, the care and feeding of other children, and so on-and the fatigue factors multiply exponentially.

But just because fatigue often comes with the third-trimester territory doesn't mean you have to resign yourself to three months of exhaustion-or relocate yourself to the sofa for the duration. As always, fatigue is a signal from your body, so pay attention. If you've been living life in the fast lane (too much baby prep, not enough rest), slow down the pace a bit. Cut back on any nonessential essentials (no fair calling them all essential), and start building some R&R into your daily schedule. Get some exercise, but make sure it's the right kind (a 30-minute walk may leave you energized, an hour run will have you running for the sofa), at the right time (not too close to bedtime, so it'll induce sleep, not prevent it). And since running on empty can bench you in a hurry, don't forget to fuel your energy levels. Keeping your blood sugar levels up with frequent healthy snacks (cheese and crackers, trail mix, a yogurt smoothie) will give those levels a longer lasting boost than caffeine or sugar. Most of all, remember that third-trimester fatigue is nature's way of telling mothers-to-be to conserve their energy. You'll need every bit of strength you can save up now for labor, delivery, and, more important, what follows. For more energy-saving tips, revisit the ones on page 128 page 128.

If you do get the extra rest your body is calling for but you still feel consistently run-down, talk to your practitioner. Sometimes, extreme fatigue that doesn't ease up is triggered by third- trimester anemia (see page 208 page 208), which is why most practitioners repeat a routine blood test for it in the seventh month.

Swelling "My ankles and feet seem to be swollen, especially at the end of the day. What's going on?"

Your belly's not the only thing that's swelling these days. That puff mama look often extends to the extremities, too. And although all that swelling's not so swell-especially as your shoes and watch get uncomfortably tight and your rings become harder and harder to pry off your fingers-mild swelling (aka edema) of the ankles, feet, and hands is completely normal, related to the necessary increase in body fluids in pregnancy. In fact, 75 percent of women develop such swelling at some point in their pregnancies, usually around this point (the other 25 percent never notice any at all, which is normal, too). As you've probably already noticed, the puffiness is likely to be more pronounced late in the day, in warm weather, or after spending too much time sitting or standing. In fact, you may find that much of the swelling disappears overnight or after several hours spent lying down (another good reason to get that rest).

Generally, this type of swelling means nothing more than a little discomfort-and a few fashion compromises if you can no longer squeeze your ankles into stylish shoes. Still, you'll want to find ways to deflate, if you can. To spell swell relief, keep these tips in mind: [image] Stay off your feet and off your butt. If long periods of standing or sitting are part of your job description-at home or at the office-take periodic breaks. Have a seat if you've been standing, and get up if you've been sitting. Or for best results, take a brisk 5-minute walk to rev up your circulation (which should get those pooled fluids flowing). Stay off your feet and off your butt. If long periods of standing or sitting are part of your job description-at home or at the office-take periodic breaks. Have a seat if you've been standing, and get up if you've been sitting. Or for best results, take a brisk 5-minute walk to rev up your circulation (which should get those pooled fluids flowing).[image] Put 'em up-your legs, that is. Elevate them when you're sitting. If anyone deserves to put her feet up, it's you. Put 'em up-your legs, that is. Elevate them when you're sitting. If anyone deserves to put her feet up, it's you.[image] Get some rest on your side. If you're not already in the side-lying habit, time to try it now. Lying on your side helps keep your kidneys working at peak efficiency, enhancing waste elimination and reducing swelling. Get some rest on your side. If you're not already in the side-lying habit, time to try it now. Lying on your side helps keep your kidneys working at peak efficiency, enhancing waste elimination and reducing swelling.[image] Choose comfort. Now's the time to make a comfort statement, not a fashion statement. Favor shoes that are accommodating (those slinky slingbacks don't fit now, anyway), and once home, switch to soft slippers. Choose comfort. Now's the time to make a comfort statement, not a fashion statement. Favor shoes that are accommodating (those slinky slingbacks don't fit now, anyway), and once home, switch to soft slippers.[image] Move it. Keeping up your exercise routine (if your practitioner has green-lighted one) will actually keep down the swelling. Walking (you'll probably soon call it waddling) is swell for swollen feet since it'll keep the blood flowing instead of pooling. Swimming or water aerobics are even better because the water pressure pushes tissue fluid back into your veins; from there it goes into your kidneys, after which you'll be able to pee it out. Move it. Keeping up your exercise routine (if your practitioner has green-lighted one) will actually keep down the swelling. Walking (you'll probably soon call it waddling) is swell for swollen feet since it'll keep the blood flowing instead of pooling. Swimming or water aerobics are even better because the water pressure pushes tissue fluid back into your veins; from there it goes into your kidneys, after which you'll be able to pee it out.[image] Wash away that water weight. Though it sounds counterintuitive, it's true: The more water you drink, the less you'll retain. Drinking at least eight to ten 8-ounce glasses of liquid a day will help your system flush out waste products. Restricting fluid intake, on the other (puffy) hand, will Wash away that water weight. Though it sounds counterintuitive, it's true: The more water you drink, the less you'll retain. Drinking at least eight to ten 8-ounce glasses of liquid a day will help your system flush out waste products. Restricting fluid intake, on the other (puffy) hand, will not not decrease swelling. decrease swelling.[image] Use salt to taste. It used to be believed that salt restriction would help keep the swelling down, but it is now known that limiting salt increases swelling. So salt to taste, but as with most everything, moderation is key. Use salt to taste. It used to be believed that salt restriction would help keep the swelling down, but it is now known that limiting salt increases swelling. So salt to taste, but as with most everything, moderation is key.[image] Get the support you need. Support hose may not be sexy, but they're very effective in relieving swelling. Several types are available for pregnancy wear, including full panty hose (with roomy tummy space) and knee- or thigh-highs (which are at least cooler to wear), though avoid those with tight elastic tops. Get the support you need. Support hose may not be sexy, but they're very effective in relieving swelling. Several types are available for pregnancy wear, including full panty hose (with roomy tummy space) and knee- or thigh-highs (which are at least cooler to wear), though avoid those with tight elastic tops.

The good news about edema, besides that it's normal, is that it's temporary. You can look forward to your ankles deflating and your fingers depuffing soon after you give birth (though some moms find it takes at least a few weeks, sometimes a month or more, for swelling to disappear completely). In the meantime, look on the bright side: Pretty soon your belly will be so big, you won't even be able to see how swollen your feet are.

Take Them Off, While You Can Have your rings been getting snugger and snugger? Before they get too tight for comfort (and much too tight to remove), you might want to consider taking them off and putting them away for safekeeping until your fingers have slimmed down again. Having trouble prying them off already? Try taking them off in the morning and after cooling your hands down (the hotter they are, the puffier they'll be). Some liquid soap can make the rings slippery and easier to slide off, too.

If your swelling seems to be more than mild, talk to your practitioner. Excessive swelling can be one sign of preeclampsia, but when it is, it's accompanied by a variety of other symptoms (such as sudden excessive and unexplained weight gain, elevated blood pressure, and protein in the urine). If your blood pressure and urine are normal (they're checked at each prenatal visit), there's nothing to be concerned about. If, along with your swelling, you've suddenly and inexplicably gained a lot of weight in a short time, or if you're experiencing severe headaches or vision disturbances, call your practitioner and describe what's going on.

Strange Skin Bumps "As if it's not bad enough that I have stretch marks, now I seem to have some kind of itchy bumps breaking out in them."

Cheer up. You have less than three months left until delivery, when you'll be able to bid a grateful good-bye to most of the unpleasant side effects of pregnancy-among them, these new eruptions. Until then, it may help to know that although they may be uncomfortable (and slightly unsightly), the bumps aren't dangerous to you or your baby. Known medically-and unpronounceably-as pruritic urticarial papules and plaques of pregnancy (try saying that fast three times), aka PUPPP, or PEP (polymorphic eruption of pregnancy), the condition generally disappears after delivery and doesn't recur in subsequent pregnancies. Though PUPPP most often develops in abdominal stretch marks, it sometimes also appears on the thighs, buttocks, or arms of expectant moms. Show your rash to your practitioner, who may prescribe topical medication, an antihistamine, or a shot to ease any discomfort.

A variety of other skin conditions and rashes can develop during pregnancy (lucky you!), making you less than happy with the skin you're in. Though you should always show any rash that crops up to your practitioner, keep in mind that they're rarely cause for concern. See page 240 page 240 for more. for more.

Lower Back and Leg Pain (Sciatica) "I've been having pain on the side of my lower back, running right down my hip and leg. What's that about?"

Sounds like your baby's getting on your nerves-your sciatic nerve, that is. Toward the middle to end of your pregnancy, your baby begins to settle into the proper position for birth (a big positive). In doing that, however, his or her head-and the weight of your ever-enlarging uterus-may settle on the sciatic nerve in the lower part of your spine (a big negative). Such so-called sciatica can result in sharp, shooting pain, tingling, or numbness that starts in your buttocks or lower back and radiates down the back of either of your legs. Sciatica can be quite intense at times, and though it may pass if your baby shifts positions, it can also linger until you've delivered-and sometimes linger for a little while postpartum.

How can you get baby off your nerves and relieve the pain of sciatica? Try these tips: [image] Take a seat. Getting off your feet can ease some of the leg and lower back pain associated with sciatica. Lying down can also relieve pressure-as long as you find the position that feels best. Take a seat. Getting off your feet can ease some of the leg and lower back pain associated with sciatica. Lying down can also relieve pressure-as long as you find the position that feels best.[image] Warm it up. A warm heating pad applied on the spot where you feel the pain can help ease it, as can a long soak in a warm bath. Warm it up. A warm heating pad applied on the spot where you feel the pain can help ease it, as can a long soak in a warm bath.[image] Work it out. Pelvic tilts or just some stretches can take off some of the pressure. Work it out. Pelvic tilts or just some stretches can take off some of the pressure.[image] Get in the swim of things. Since swimming and water exercises aren't weight bearing, they are particularly good choices when you've got sciatic pain. Swimming stretches and strengthens the muscles in your back, providing relief for that searing pain. Get in the swim of things. Since swimming and water exercises aren't weight bearing, they are particularly good choices when you've got sciatic pain. Swimming stretches and strengthens the muscles in your back, providing relief for that searing pain.[image] Seek an alternative. CAM therapies, such as acupuncture, chiropractic medicine, or therapeutic massage (always with a trained and licensed practitioner), might help relieve your sciatica. Seek an alternative. CAM therapies, such as acupuncture, chiropractic medicine, or therapeutic massage (always with a trained and licensed practitioner), might help relieve your sciatica.

If your pain is particularly bad, ask your practitioner if pain medications would be helpful in your case.

Restless Leg Syndrome "As tired as I am at night, I can't seem to settle down because my legs feel so restless. I've tried all the tips for leg cramps, but they don't work. What else can I do?"

With so many other things coming between you and a good night's sleep in your last trimester, it hardly seems fair that your legs are, too. But for the 15 percent or so of pregnant women who experience restless leg syndrome (RLS)-yes, it's got a name-that's exactly what happens. The name captures it all-that restless, creeping, crawling, tingling feeling inside the foot and/or leg that keeps the rest of your body from settling down. It's most common at night, but it can also strike in the late afternoon or pretty much any time you're lying or sitting down.

Count Your Kicks From the 28th week on, it may be a good idea to test for fetal movements twice a day-once in the morning, when activity tends to be sparser, and once in the more active evening hours. Your practitioner may recommend a test, or you can use this one: Check the clock and start counting. Count movements of any kind (kicks, flutters, swishes, rolls). Stop counting when you reach 10, and note the time (if you like, you can use the fetal movement tracker in the What to Expect Pregnancy Journal and Organizer What to Expect Pregnancy Journal and Organizer). Often, you will feel 10 movements within 10 minutes or so-sometimes it will take longer.If you haven't counted 10 movements by the end of an hour, have some juice or a snack, walk a bit, even jiggle your belly a little; then lie down, relax, and continue counting. If two hours go by without 10 movements, call your practitioner. Though such an absence of activity doesn't necessarily mean something's wrong, it can occasionally be a red flag that needs quick evaluation.The closer you are to your due date, the more important regular checking of fetal movements becomes.

Experts aren't certain what causes RLS in some pregnant women (though there does seem to be a genetic component to it), and they're even less sure of how to treat it. None of the tricks of the leg cramp trade-including rubbing or flexing-seem to bring relief. Medications may not be a good option, either, because many of those currently used to treat RLS aren't safe for use during pregnancy (check with your practitioner).

It's possible that diet, stress, and other environmental factors may contribute to the problem, so it may help to keep track of what you eat, what you do, and how you feel each day so you can see what lifestyle habits, if any, bring on symptoms. Some women, for instance, find that eating carbohydrates late in the day can worsen RLS. It's also possible that iron-deficiency anemia may cause RLS, so it's worth asking your practitioner about testing to rule that out, as well as asking him or her for any other suggested treatments. Acupuncture may help some women, as can yoga, meditation, or other relaxation techniques. And, of course, it couldn't hurt to try the sleep tips on page 266 page 266. Unfortunately, however, some women continue to find relief-and sleep-elusive. If you are one of them, RLS is something you may just have to put up with until delivery. If you came into pregnancy with the condition, you may have to wait until after delivery (and possibly after weaning, if you're nursing) to resume any drug treatment you were using.

Fetal Hiccups "I sometimes feel regular little spasms in my abdomen. Is this kicking, or a twitch, or what?"

Believe it or not, your baby's probably got hiccups, a phenomenon not uncommon among fetuses during the last half of pregnancy. Some get hiccups several times a day, every day. Others never get them at all. The same pattern may continue after birth.

But before you start holding your breath or trying other hiccup tricks, you should know that hiccups don't cause the same discomfort in babies-in or out of the uterus-as they do in adults, even when they last 20 minutes or more. So just relax and enjoy this little entertainment from within.

Accidental Falls "I missed the curb today when I was out walking and fell belly first on the pavement. Could the fall have hurt the baby?"

Is pregnancy tripping you up? That's not surprising-after all, once you enter the third trimester, there are plenty of factors that can combine to literally put you head over heels. For one, your impaired sense of balance, which has been thrown off-kilter as your center of gravity keeps shifting forward, along with your belly. For another, your looser, less stable joints, which add to awkwardness and make you prone to minor falls, especially those belly flops. Also contributing to clumsiness are your tendency to tire easily, your predisposition to preoccupation and daydreaming, and the difficulty you may be having seeing past your belly to your feet-all of which makes those curbs and other stumbling blocks easy to miss.

But while a curbside spill may leave you with multiple scrapes and bruises (particularly on your ego, if it was a public flop), it's extremely rare for a fetus to suffer the consequences of its mother's clumsiness. Your baby is protected by one of the world's most sophisticated shock absorption systems, comprised of amniotic fluid, tough membranes, the elastic, muscular uterus, and the sturdy abdominal cavity, which is girded with muscles and bones. For it to be penetrated, and for your baby to be hurt, you'd have to sustain very serious injuries, the kind that would very likely land you in the hospital.

If you're concerned, however, do call your practitioner for extra reassurance.

Orgasm and Baby's Kicking "After I have an orgasm, my baby usually stops kicking for about half an hour. Does that mean that sex isn't safe at this point in pregnancy?"

No matter what you do these days, your baby's along for the ride. And when it comes to lovemaking, the ride can make baby very sleepy. The rocking motion of sex and the rhythmic uterine contractions that follow orgasm often lull fetuses to dreamland. Some babies, on the other hand (because every baby's an individual), become more lively after their parents make love. Either reaction is normal and healthy, and it is in no way a sign that sex isn't safe. Nor, in case you're wondering, is it a sign that baby's in the know about what's going on between those sheets (baby's completely in the dark, literally).

In fact, unless your practitioner has prescribed otherwise, you can continue enjoying lovemaking-and orgasms-until delivery. And you might as well get that sex in while you can. Let's face it-it may be a while before it's this convenient to make love with your baby in the house again.

Dreams and Fantasies "I've been having so many vivid dreams-day and night-about the baby that I'm beginning to think I'm losing my mind."

Been catching some pretty strange late shows along with your z's? Dreams-and daydreams and fantasies-from the horrifying (like the one about leaving the baby on the bus) to the heartwarming (snuggling chubby cheeks, pushing strollers through a sunny park), to the bizarre (giving birth to an alien baby with a tail or to a litter of puppies) are healthy, normal, and very, very common during pregnancy. And though they may make you feel as though you're losing your mind (was that really a giant salami that chased you around the parking lot of Babies "R" Us last night?), they're actually helping you stay sane. They're just one way that your subconscious works through your mind's overload of prebaby anxieties, fears, hopes, and insecurities and comes to terms with the impending upheaval in your life-an outlet for the 1,001 conflicting emotions (from ambivalence to trepidation to overwhelming excitement and joy) you're feeling but may be uneasy expressing any other way. Think of it as therapy you can sleep through.

Hormones contribute, also, to your heavier-than-usual dream schedule (what don't they contribute to?). Plus, they can make your dreams much more vivid. The lighter sleep you've been getting also plays a part in your ability to recall your dreams-and recall them in high definition. Because you're waking up more often than you used to, whether to use the bathroom, kick off some blankets, or just toss, turn, and try to get comfortable, you have more opportunities to wake up in the middle of a REM dream cycle. With the dreams so fresh in your mind each time you awaken, you're able to remember them in greater-and sometimes unnerving-detail.

[image] Oops! dreams. Dreaming about losing or misplacing things (from your car keys to your baby); forgetting to feed the baby; missing a doctor's appointment; going out to shop and leaving baby home alone; being unprepared for the baby when he or she arrives can reveal the common fear that you're not up to being a mother. Oops! dreams. Dreaming about losing or misplacing things (from your car keys to your baby); forgetting to feed the baby; missing a doctor's appointment; going out to shop and leaving baby home alone; being unprepared for the baby when he or she arrives can reveal the common fear that you're not up to being a mother.

Preparing Fido and Whiskers Already a parent-to the kind of baby that has four legs, fur, and a tail? Concerned that your pet, who's used to ruling the roost (and curling up on your bed and your lap), will suffer from a bad (and possibly dangerous) case of sibling rivalry when you show up with a new baby? Taking steps now to prepare your dog or cat for when baby makes three (people, that is) is crucial. See What to Expect the First Year What to Expect the First Year for tips and recommendations on preparing the family pet for baby's arrival. for tips and recommendations on preparing the family pet for baby's arrival.

Here are some of the most commonly reported dream and fantasy themes during pregnancy. Some probably sound familiar.

[image] Ouch! dreams. Being attacked or hurt-by intruders, burglars, animals; or falling down the stairs after a push or a slip-may represent a sense of vulnerability. Ouch! dreams. Being attacked or hurt-by intruders, burglars, animals; or falling down the stairs after a push or a slip-may represent a sense of vulnerability.[image] Help! dreams. Dreams of being enclosed or unable to escape-trapped in a tunnel, a car, a small room; drowning in a pool, a lake of snowy slush, a car wash-can signify the fear of being tied down by the expected new family member, of losing your once carefree life to a demanding newborn. Help! dreams. Dreams of being enclosed or unable to escape-trapped in a tunnel, a car, a small room; drowning in a pool, a lake of snowy slush, a car wash-can signify the fear of being tied down by the expected new family member, of losing your once carefree life to a demanding newborn.[image] Oh no! dreams. Dreams of gaining no weight or gaining a lot of weight overnight; overeating; eating or drinking the wrong things (a tray of sushi washed down with a pitcher of martinis)-are common among those trying to stick to a dietary regimen. Oh no! dreams. Dreams of gaining no weight or gaining a lot of weight overnight; overeating; eating or drinking the wrong things (a tray of sushi washed down with a pitcher of martinis)-are common among those trying to stick to a dietary regimen.[image] Ugh! dreams. Dreaming about becoming unattractive or repulsive to your spouse or about your spouse taking up with someone else-expresses the common fear that pregnancy will destroy your looks forever and make you unappealing to your partner. Ugh! dreams. Dreaming about becoming unattractive or repulsive to your spouse or about your spouse taking up with someone else-expresses the common fear that pregnancy will destroy your looks forever and make you unappealing to your partner.[image] Sexual dreams. Dreams about sexual encounters-either positive or negative, pleasure or guilt provoking-may reflect the sexual confusion and ambivalence often experienced during pregnancy. Sexual dreams. Dreams about sexual encounters-either positive or negative, pleasure or guilt provoking-may reflect the sexual confusion and ambivalence often experienced during pregnancy.[image] Memory dreams. Dreaming of death and resurrection-lost parents or other relatives reappearing-may be the subconscious mind's way of linking old and new generations. Memory dreams. Dreaming of death and resurrection-lost parents or other relatives reappearing-may be the subconscious mind's way of linking old and new generations.[image] Life with baby dreams. Dreaming about getting ready for the baby and loving and playing with the baby in a dream is practice parenting, a way that your subconscious bonds you with your baby before delivery. Life with baby dreams. Dreaming about getting ready for the baby and loving and playing with the baby in a dream is practice parenting, a way that your subconscious bonds you with your baby before delivery.[image] Imagining baby dreams. Dreaming about what your baby will be like can reveal a wide variety of concerns. Dreams about the baby being deformed, sick, or too large or too small express anxiety about its health. Fantasies about the infant having unusual skills (like talking or walking at birth) may indicate concern about the baby's intelligence and ambition for his or her future. Premonitions that the baby will be a boy or a girl could mean your heart's set on one or the other. So could dreams about the baby's hair or eye color or resemblance to one parent or the other. Nightmares of the baby being born fully grown could signify your fear of having to handle a tiny infant. Imagining baby dreams. Dreaming about what your baby will be like can reveal a wide variety of concerns. Dreams about the baby being deformed, sick, or too large or too small express anxiety about its health. Fantasies about the infant having unusual skills (like talking or walking at birth) may indicate concern about the baby's intelligence and ambition for his or her future. Premonitions that the baby will be a boy or a girl could mean your heart's set on one or the other. So could dreams about the baby's hair or eye color or resemblance to one parent or the other. Nightmares of the baby being born fully grown could signify your fear of having to handle a tiny infant.[image] Labor dreams. Dreaming about labor pain-or lack of it-or about not being able to push the baby out may reflect your anxieties about labor. Labor dreams. Dreaming about labor pain-or lack of it-or about not being able to push the baby out may reflect your anxieties about labor.

Bottom line about your dreams and fantasies-don't lose any sleep over them. They're completely normal and as common among expectant moms as heartburn and stretch marks (just ask around and you'll get an interesting earful). Keep in mind, too, that you may not be the only one in your bed who's dreaming up a sometimes unsettling storm. Expectant dads may also have strange dreams and fantasies as they attempt to work out their conscious and subconscious anxieties about impending fatherhood (and it's not as easy for them to blame it on the hormones). Swapping dreams in the morning can be fun (can you top this one?) as well as therapeutic, making that transition into real-life parenthood easier-plus it can help bring you closer together. So dream on!

Handling It All "I'm beginning to worry that I won't be able to manage my job, my house, my marriage-and the baby, too."

Here's the first thing you should know about doing it all: You can't do it all, do it all well, do it all well at the same time, and do it all well all the time. Every mom's super, but even the best among us are only human. Many new mothers have tried to don the cape-handling a full workload on the job; keeping the house spotless, the laundry basket empty, the refrigerator stocked, and home-cooked meals on the table; being a doting (read: sexy) partner and an exemplary parent; and leaping the occasional building at a single bound-but most have realized somewhere in midflight that something's gotta give.

Just how well you'll manage your new life will probably depend on how quickly you come to that realization. And there's no better time than now-before your latest (and cutest) life challenge arrives-to start.

First, you'll need to give some thought to what your priorities are so you can begin arranging them in order of importance (and not everything can make that top spot). If baby, spouse, and job are priorities, perhaps keeping the house clean will have to take a (messy) backseat. Maybe home-cooked will give way to home-delivered, at least some of the time, or the laundry basket will become someone else's responsibility. If you're thinking that full-time motherhood might have your name on it, and you can afford to stay home for a while, maybe you can put your career on hold temporarily. Or you might consider working part-time or job sharing with another mom, if you can swing it, or working from home, if possible.

Once you've settled on your priorities, you'll need to let go of your unrealistic expectations (you know, the ones your daydreams are filled with). Check in with experienced moms, and you'll get a reality check fast. As every mother finds out sooner or later-and you'll save yourself a lot of stress if you find out sooner-nobody's perfect. As much as you'll want to do everything right, you won't be able to-and there will be those days when it seems like you can't do anything right. Despite your best efforts, beds may go unmade and laundry unfolded, takeout may take over your dinner table, and getting "sexy" may mean finally getting around to washing your hair. Set your standards too high-even if you were able to meet them in your preparenting days-and you'll set yourself up for a whole lot of unnecessary disappointment.