Of course, relaxation exercises don't work for everyone; some women find that they step up tension instead of easing it. If that sounds like you, lying down in a dark, quiet room or stretching out on the sofa or with your feet up on your desk for 10 or 15 minutes may be a better foil for tension and tension headaches.

Get enough rest. Pregnancy can also be a time of extreme fatigue, particularly in the first and last trimesters, and often for the full nine months for women who work long hours at a job and/or have other children to care for. Sleep can be elusive once the belly starts swelling ("How will I ever get comfortable?") and the mind starts racing ("How will I ever get everything done before the baby comes?"), which compounds fatigue. Making a conscious effort to get more rest, day and night, can help keep headaches at bay. But be careful not to sleep too much-excess sleep can also give you a headache, as can sleeping with the covers over your head. Pregnancy can also be a time of extreme fatigue, particularly in the first and last trimesters, and often for the full nine months for women who work long hours at a job and/or have other children to care for. Sleep can be elusive once the belly starts swelling ("How will I ever get comfortable?") and the mind starts racing ("How will I ever get everything done before the baby comes?"), which compounds fatigue. Making a conscious effort to get more rest, day and night, can help keep headaches at bay. But be careful not to sleep too much-excess sleep can also give you a headache, as can sleeping with the covers over your head.

Eat regularly. To avoid hunger headaches triggered by low blood sugar, be sure not to run on empty. Carry high-energy snacks (such as soy chips, granola bars, dried fruit and nuts) with you in your bag, stash them in the glove compartment of your car and in your office desk drawer, and always keep a supply on hand at home. To avoid hunger headaches triggered by low blood sugar, be sure not to run on empty. Carry high-energy snacks (such as soy chips, granola bars, dried fruit and nuts) with you in your bag, stash them in the glove compartment of your car and in your office desk drawer, and always keep a supply on hand at home.

Seek some peace and quiet. Noise can give you a headache, especially if you're extra sound-sensitive. Make it a point to avoid noisy locales (the mall, loud parties, restaurants with bad acoustics). If your job is extra noisy, talk to your boss about taking steps to reduce the excess noise-or even ask for a transfer to a quieter area, if possible. At home, lower the volume on the telephone's ringer, the TV, and the radio. Noise can give you a headache, especially if you're extra sound-sensitive. Make it a point to avoid noisy locales (the mall, loud parties, restaurants with bad acoustics). If your job is extra noisy, talk to your boss about taking steps to reduce the excess noise-or even ask for a transfer to a quieter area, if possible. At home, lower the volume on the telephone's ringer, the TV, and the radio.

Don't get stuffy. An overheated room or unventilated space can give anyone a headache-but especially an expectant mom, who's overheated to start with. So try not to get stuffy, but when you can't avoid it (it's two days before Christmas and you have to brave that jam-packed mall-or you work there), step out for a stroll and a breath of fresh air when you can. Dress in layers when you know you're going somewhere stuffy, and keep comfortable (and hopefully, headache free) by removing layers as needed. Stuck inside? Try to crack a window, at least. An overheated room or unventilated space can give anyone a headache-but especially an expectant mom, who's overheated to start with. So try not to get stuffy, but when you can't avoid it (it's two days before Christmas and you have to brave that jam-packed mall-or you work there), step out for a stroll and a breath of fresh air when you can. Dress in layers when you know you're going somewhere stuffy, and keep comfortable (and hopefully, headache free) by removing layers as needed. Stuck inside? Try to crack a window, at least.

Switch lighting. Take the time to examine your surroundings, particularly the lighting around you, in a whole new ... well, light. Some women find that a windowless work space lit by fluorescent bulbs can trigger headaches. Switching to incandescent lighting and/or a room with windows may help. If that's not practical, take outdoor breaks when you can. Take the time to examine your surroundings, particularly the lighting around you, in a whole new ... well, light. Some women find that a windowless work space lit by fluorescent bulbs can trigger headaches. Switching to incandescent lighting and/or a room with windows may help. If that's not practical, take outdoor breaks when you can.

Try alternatives. Some complementary and alternative medical approaches-including acupuncture, acupressure, biofeedback, and massage-can bring headache relief (see Some complementary and alternative medical approaches-including acupuncture, acupressure, biofeedback, and massage-can bring headache relief (see page 85 page 85).

Go hot and cold. For relief of sinus headaches, apply hot and cold compresses to the aching area, alternating 30 seconds of each for a total of 10 minutes, four times a day. For tension headaches, try ice applied to the back of the neck for 20 minutes while you close your eyes and relax. (Use an ordinary ice pack or a special neck pillow that holds a gel-based cold pack.) For relief of sinus headaches, apply hot and cold compresses to the aching area, alternating 30 seconds of each for a total of 10 minutes, four times a day. For tension headaches, try ice applied to the back of the neck for 20 minutes while you close your eyes and relax. (Use an ordinary ice pack or a special neck pillow that holds a gel-based cold pack.) Straighten up. Slouching or looking down to read or do other close work (knitting baby booties?) for long stretches of time can also trigger an aching head, so watch your posture. Slouching or looking down to read or do other close work (knitting baby booties?) for long stretches of time can also trigger an aching head, so watch your posture.

Take two. Haven't got time for the pain? Acetaminophen (Tylenol) usually brings quick relief and is considered safe for pregnancy use (skip the ibuprofen and aspirin). Check with your practitioner for the right dosage and headache protocol. And don't take any pain medication (over-the-counter, prescription, or herbal) without your practitioner's okay. Haven't got time for the pain? Acetaminophen (Tylenol) usually brings quick relief and is considered safe for pregnancy use (skip the ibuprofen and aspirin). Check with your practitioner for the right dosage and headache protocol. And don't take any pain medication (over-the-counter, prescription, or herbal) without your practitioner's okay.

If an unexplained headache persists for more than a few hours, returns very often, is the result of fever, or is accompanied by visual disturbances or puffiness of the hands and face, notify your practitioner.

"I suffer from migraine headaches. I heard they're more common in pregnancy. Is this true?"

Some women find their migraines strike more frequently during pregnancy; luckier ones find they are less frequent. It isn't known why this should be true, or even why some people have recurrent migraines and others never have a single one.

If you've had migraines in the past, discuss with your physician which migraine medications are safe to take during pregnancy so you'll be prepared for dealing with these killer headaches should they strike while you're expecting. Think prevention, too. If you know what brings on an attack, you can try to avoid the culprit. Stress is a common one, as are chocolate, cheese, and coffee. Try to determine what, if anything, can stave off a full-blown attack once the warning signs appear. You may be helped by one or more of the following: splashing your face with cold water or applying a cold cloth or ice pack; avoiding noise, light, and odors by lying down in a darkened room for two or three hours, eyes covered (napping, meditating, or listening to music, but not reading or watching TV); or trying CAM techniques such as biofeedback or acupuncture (see page 85 page 85).

Stretch Marks "I'm afraid I'm going to get stretch marks. Can they be prevented?"

Nobody likes stretch marks, especially come skin-baring season. Still, they're not easy to escape when you're expecting. The majority of pregnant women develop these pink or reddish (sometimes purplish), slightly indented, sometimes itchy streaks on their breasts, hips, and/or abdomen sometime during pregnancy.

As their name implies, stretch marks are caused by tiny tears in the supporting layers of tissue under your skin as it becomes stretched to its limit. Expectant mothers who have good elastic skin tone (because they inherited it and/or earned it through years of excellent nutrition and exercise) may slip through several pregnancies without a single telltale mark. And actually, your mother may be your best crystal ball when it comes to predicting whether you'll end up with stretch marks or not; if she sailed through her pregnancies with smooth skin intact, odds are you will, too. If stretch marks struck her, they'll likely strike you, too.

You might be able to minimize, if not prevent, stretch marks by keeping weight gain steady, gradual, and moderate (the faster skin stretches, the more likely the stretching is to leave its mark). Promoting elasticity in your skin by nourishing it with a good diet (especially those vitamin C foods) may also help. And though no topical preparation has been proven to prevent stretch marks from zigzagging their way across your skin, there's no harm in applying moisturizers, such as cocoa butter. Even without the scientific proof to back them up, some women swear they work-and if nothing else, they'll prevent the dryness and itching associated with pregnancy-stretched skin. An added plus: It may be fun for your spouse to rub them on your tummy (and baby will enjoy the massage, too).

If you do develop stretch marks (frequently referred to as the red badge of motherhood), you can console yourself with the knowledge that they will gradually fade to a silvery sheen some months after delivery. You can also discuss with a dermatologist the possibility of reducing their visibility postpartum with laser therapy or Retin-A. In the meantime, wear them with pride.

Body Art for Two?

Heading off to The House of Ink for a "hot mama" tattoo? Think before you ink. While the ink itself won't enter your bloodstream, there is a risk of infection any time you get stuck with a needle, and why take that risk when you've got a baby on board?Something else to ponder before getting a tattoo for two. What looks symmetrical on your pregnant skin might become lopsided or distorted after you regain your prepregnancy shape. So keep your skin free of any new marks for now, and wait until after you've weaned your baby to express yourself through body art.If you already have a tattoo, no problem-just sit back and watch it stretch. And don't worry about that lower back tattoo and how it might affect the epidural you were hoping for come labor day. As long as the tattoo ink is fully dried and the wound healed, sticking that epidural needle through it won't be risky.What about using henna to decorate your body during pregnancy? Since henna is plant based-and temporary-it's probably safe to use during pregnancy. Still, it's wise to follow certain caveats: Make sure the henna artist uses natural henna (it stains the skin reddish brown), not the kind that contains the potentially irritating chemical paraphenylendiamine (which stains black), and check the artist's references (read: no fair doing it at a street fair). To be extra-cautious (always the best way to be), ask your practitioner before using henna.Keep in mind, too, that pregnant skin is often extra-sensitive skin, so there's a chance you'll have an allergic reaction to the henna, even if you've had it applied before without incident. To test your reaction to it, place a small amount of henna on a patch of skin and wait 24 hours to make sure no irritation appears.

First-Trimester Weight Gain "I'm nearing the end of the first trimester and I'm surprised that I didn't gain any weight yet."

Many women have trouble putting on an ounce in the early weeks-some even lose a few pounds, usually courtesy of morning sickness, and others, because they started out overweight, don't need to gain any this early on. Fortunately, nature has your baby's back, offering protection even if you're too queasy or food-averse to eat. Tiny fetuses have tiny nutritional needs, which means that your lack of weight gain now won't have any effect on your baby. Not so, however, once you enter the second trimester. As your baby gets bigger and your baby-making factory picks up steam, calories and nutrients will be more and more in demand-and you'll need to begin playing weight gain catch-up, piling the pounds on at a steady pace.

So definitely don't worry, but do start eating (hopefully any morning sickness will ease up soon). And from the fourth month on, start watching your weight to make sure it begins to move upward at the appropriate rate (see page 167 page 167). If you continue to have trouble gaining weight, try packing more of a nutritional wallop with the calories you take in, through efficient eating (see page 91 page 91). Try, too, to eat a little more food each day, by not skipping meals and by adding more frequent snacks. If you can't eat a lot at one sitting (which isn't so good for pregnancy digestion anyway), graze on six small meals daily instead of three big squares. Save salads and soups and fill-you-up beverages for after your main course to avoid putting a damper on your appetite. Enjoy foods high in good fats (nuts, seeds, avocados, olive oil). But don't try to add pounds by adding lots of junk food to your diet. That kind of weight gain is more likely to round out your hips and thighs than your baby.

"I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I was shocked to find out that I'd already gained 13 pounds. What should I do now?"

First of all, don't panic. Lots of women have that "oops" moment-when they step on the scale at the end of their first trimester and discover they've gained 8, 10, a dozen pounds, or more in three short months. Sometimes it's because they've taken "eating for two" just a tad too literally (you are eating for two, but one of you is really, really small), relishing sweet release from a lifetime of dieting. Sometimes it's because they've found that comfort from queasiness can come in high-calorie packages (ice cream, pasta, burgers, or just bread by the loaf).

Either way, all is not lost if you've gained a little too much in the first trimester. True, you can't turn back the scales-or apply the first three months' gain neatly to the next six. Your baby needs a steady supply of nutrients (especially in the second and third trimester, when he or she will be growing overtime), so cutting way back on calories now isn't a smart plan. But you can aim to keep your gain on target for the rest of your pregnancy-to slow it down, without putting the brakes on it altogether-by watching the scale (and what you eat) more carefully.

Check with your practitioner and work out a safe and sensible weight gain goal for the next two trimesters. Even if you stay in the pound-a-week club through month 8 (most women find their weight gain slows or stops in the ninth month), you won't end up more than a couple of pounds over 35 pounds, the outside limit for recommended weight gain. Check out the Pregnancy Diet (Chapter 5) to find out how to eat healthily for two without ending up looking like two (of you). Gaining efficiently, on the highest-quality foods possible, will not only accomplish that goal but make the weight you do gain easier to shed in the postpartum period.

Boys Will Be Boys Hungry, Mom? As you close in on your second trimester, you'll likely notice that your appetite (which you may have lost somewhere around week 6 or so) is starting to make a comeback. But if you're bellying up to the refrigerator with the regularity of a teenage boy, you may be expecting one (or, at least, a male fetus on his way to becoming a teenage boy). Research shows that moms-to-be carrying boys tend to eat more than moms expecting girls-which could explain why boys tend to be heavier at birth than girls. Food (and more food) for thought!

Showing Early "Why am I already showing if I'm only in my first trimester?"

Have lots more to show for your first trimester than you expected? Because every belly's different, some stay flat far into the second trimester while others seem to pop before the home pregnancy test is dry. An early bump can be disconcerting ("If I'm this big now, now, what will I look like in a few months?"), but it can also be welcome, tangible proof that there's actually a baby in there. what will I look like in a few months?"), but it can also be welcome, tangible proof that there's actually a baby in there.

Several possibilities might explain why you're showing so early: [image] Small build. If you're slender to begin with, your growing uterus may have nowhere to hide, causing a bulge even when it's still relatively little. Small build. If you're slender to begin with, your growing uterus may have nowhere to hide, causing a bulge even when it's still relatively little.[image] Less muscle tone. A pregnant woman with loose abdominal muscles is more likely to produce a pronounced pooch faster than a mom-to-be with a taut and toned torso. That's why second timers tend to show earlier-their abdominal muscles have already been stretched. Less muscle tone. A pregnant woman with loose abdominal muscles is more likely to produce a pronounced pooch faster than a mom-to-be with a taut and toned torso. That's why second timers tend to show earlier-their abdominal muscles have already been stretched.[image] Overeating. If you've been eating for two (but forgetting that one of those two is only prune-sized right now), your belly might be sporting more fat than baby. If you've gained more than 4 or 5 pounds by this point, that could explain your prematurely protruding tummy. Overeating. If you've been eating for two (but forgetting that one of those two is only prune-sized right now), your belly might be sporting more fat than baby. If you've gained more than 4 or 5 pounds by this point, that could explain your prematurely protruding tummy.[image] Wrong dates. A sooner-than-expected show time could be the result of a miscalculated conception date. Wrong dates. A sooner-than-expected show time could be the result of a miscalculated conception date.[image] Bloating. Excess gas and bloating could be behind that supersize stomach of yours. So could bowel distention if you've been going long stretches between movements. Bloating. Excess gas and bloating could be behind that supersize stomach of yours. So could bowel distention if you've been going long stretches between movements.[image] More than one on board. Some women who sport an impressive bump in their first trimester later discover they're having twins. But before you start doubling up the layette, keep in mind that most women whose bellies balloon early turn out to be carrying just one baby. A relatively round belly in the first trimester is not generally considered a reliable sign that an expectant mother is carrying multiples (see next question). More than one on board. Some women who sport an impressive bump in their first trimester later discover they're having twins. But before you start doubling up the layette, keep in mind that most women whose bellies balloon early turn out to be carrying just one baby. A relatively round belly in the first trimester is not generally considered a reliable sign that an expectant mother is carrying multiples (see next question).

Carrying Multiples?

"How will my doctor know if I'm carrying twins or not?"

Have a hunch that there's more than one baby on board? There are plenty of clues you can look for when trying to determine whether or not you're toting twins: A large-for-date uterus. The size of the uterus, not of the abdomen, is what counts in the diagnosis of multiples. If your uterus seems to be growing more rapidly than expected for your due date, a multiple pregnancy might be suspected. A big belly alone doesn't count. The size of the uterus, not of the abdomen, is what counts in the diagnosis of multiples. If your uterus seems to be growing more rapidly than expected for your due date, a multiple pregnancy might be suspected. A big belly alone doesn't count.

Exaggerated pregnancy symptoms. When carrying twins, the typical troubles of pregnancy (morning sickness, indigestion, and so on) can be doubled, or at least seem that way. But all of these can also be exaggerated in a one-fetus pregnancy. When carrying twins, the typical troubles of pregnancy (morning sickness, indigestion, and so on) can be doubled, or at least seem that way. But all of these can also be exaggerated in a one-fetus pregnancy.

Predisposition. Several factors make a woman more likely to have nonidentical, or fraternal, twins. These include nonidentical twins in the mother's family, advanced age (women over 35 more frequently release more than one egg at a time), the use of fertility drugs to stimulate ovulation, and in vitro fertilization. Some evidence indicates that identical twins might also be genetically influenced (something in your egg or your spouse's sperm could cause a fertilized egg to split). Several factors make a woman more likely to have nonidentical, or fraternal, twins. These include nonidentical twins in the mother's family, advanced age (women over 35 more frequently release more than one egg at a time), the use of fertility drugs to stimulate ovulation, and in vitro fertilization. Some evidence indicates that identical twins might also be genetically influenced (something in your egg or your spouse's sperm could cause a fertilized egg to split).

As for your practitioner, he or she might try to listen for two (or more) distinctly separate heartbeats, but it's not an exact science (the heartbeat of a single fetus may be heard at several locations), so twins aren't often diagnosed this way. The best diagnostic tool for detecting multiples is an early ultrasound. In virtually every case (except in the rare instance where one camera-shy fetus remains stubbornly hidden behind the other), this technique accurately diagnoses a multiple pregnancy. If you are carrying twins (or more), see Chapter 16.

Baby's Heartbeat "My friend heard her baby's heartbeat at 10 weeks. I'm a week ahead of her, and my doctor hasn't picked up my baby's yet."

Hearing the first lub-dub of your baby's heartbeat is definitely music to every mom-to-be's (and dad-to-be's) ears. Even if you've already seen your little one's steady drumbeat on an early ultrasound, there's nothing like hearing it through the Doppler (a handheld ultrasound device that amplifies the sound with the help of a special jelly on the belly) in your practitioner's office.

Even though a heartbeat can be heard as early as the 10th or 12th week with a Doppler, not all expectant moms get to feast their ears on this fetal symphony that early. Your baby's position may be the cause of the inaudible heartbeat, or maybe the location of the placenta (or extra fat padding your belly) is muffling the sound. A slightly miscalculated due date may also explain why you're not hearing your baby's beat yet. By your 14th week, the miraculous sound of your baby's heartbeat is certain to be available for your listening pleasure. If it isn't, or if you are very anxious, your practitioner will likely do an ultrasound, which will see a heartbeat that, for some reason, was difficult to hear with the Doppler.

At-Home Dopplers Tempted to buy one of those inexpensive prenatal "heart listeners" so you can stay tuned in to your baby's heartbeat between practitioner visits? Being able to monitor your baby's heart rate can be loads of fun and may even help you have a better night's sleep if you're a stresser by nature. But listen to this: Though these devices are considered safe to use, they're not as sophisticated as the one your practitioner uses-and most aren't nearly sensitive enough to pick up fetal heart tones until after the fifth month of pregnancy. Use one before then, and you'll likely be met with silence instead of a steady beat, which can increase worry unnecessarily instead of putting it to rest. Even later on in pregnancy, at-home Dopplers can't always pick up what you're looking for (baby's position or a bad angle on the device can easily throw off an at-home Doppler). The readings might not be accurate, either-or might be different enough from the ones you're used to getting at your checkups to prompt undue concern. So do try this at home, if you like (though you should get your practitioner's okay before placing your order, especially because the FDA requires a prescription for them). Just keep in mind that you get what you pay for, and you might get somewhat less than you bargained for.

The Heart of the Matter Is it a boy or a girl, and can your baby's heart rate give you a clue? While old wives-and some practitioners-have been telling. tales for ages (a heart rate of above 140 promises a girl, one under 140 delivers a boy), studies show no correlation between fetal heart rate and gender. It may be fun to make predictions based on your baby's heart rate (you'll be right 50 percent of the time, after all), but you might not want to make nursery color choices based on it.

When you do get to hear the heartbeat, listen carefully. Your normal heart rate is usually under 100 beats per minute, but your baby's will be around 110 to 160 beats per minute during early pregnancy and average between 120 and 160 beats per minute by midpregnancy. Don't compare fetal heartbeats with your pregnant friends, though-every baby beats to his or her own drummer, and normal fetal heart rates vary a lot.

Starting at about 18 to 20 weeks, the heartbeat can be heard without Doppler amplification, using a regular stethoscope.

Sexual Desire "All of my pregnant friends say that they had an increased sex drive early in pregnancy. How come I feel so unsexy?"

Pregnancy is a time of change in many aspects of your life, not the least of them sexual. Hormones, which, as you've undoubtedly noticed, play a role in every physical and emotional high and low, also play an important role in sexuality. But those hormones hit every woman differently, turning up the heat for some and throwing ice water on others. Some women who have never had either an orgasm or much of a taste for sex suddenly experience both for the first time when they're expecting. Other women, accustomed to having a voracious appetite for sex and to being easily orgasmic, suddenly find that they're completely lacking in desire and are difficult to arouse. And even if your hormones have pushed your passion turn-on button, pregnancy symptoms (that nausea, that fatigue, those painfully tender breasts) can stand between you and a good time. These changes in sexuality can be disconcerting, guilt-provoking, wonderful, or a confusing combination of all three. And they are all perfectly normal.

Most important is recognizing that your sexual feelings during pregnancy-and your partner's as well-may be more erratic than erotic; you may feel sexy one day and not the next. Mutual understanding and open communication will see you through, as will a sense of humor. And remember (and remind your partner) that many women who've lost that loving feeling in the first trimester get it back in the second, in spades, so don't be surprised if a very warm front moves into your bedroom soon. Until then, you might want to try the tips on the next page to help heat things up.

"Ever since I became pregnant, I'm turned on all the time and I can't get enough of sex. Is this normal?"

Feeling a little hot under the collar (and under those very snug jeans)? Is your turn-on switch always on? Lucky you. While some women find their sex lives coming to a screeching halt in the first trimester (what with all those early pregnancy symptoms kicking their libidos out the bedroom door), others-like you-find they just can't get enough of a good thing. You can thank those extra hormones surging through your body these days, as well as the increase in blood flow to your pelvic region (which can make your genitals feel wonderfully engorged and ever-tingly), for turning up the sexual thermostat. On top (so to speak. of that are the new curves you're sprouting and the bigger-than-life breasts you're likely sporting, all of which can make you feel like one sexy mama. Plus, it might be the first time in your sexual life that you're able to make love when the mood moves you-without having to spoil the moment while you run to the bathroom for your diaphragm or calculate your fertility with an ovulation predictor. This happy state of sensual affairs may be most pronounced during the first trimester, when hormonal havoc is at its height, or it can continue right up until delivery day.

Since your increased sexual appetite is perfectly normal (as is a lack of sexual desire), don't worry or feel guilty about it. And don't be surprised or concerned if your orgasms are more frequent or more intense than ever (and if you're having orgasms for the first time, that's even more reason to celebrate). As long as your practitioner has green-lighted lovemaking in all its forms (and that's usually the case), seize the moment and your partner. Explore different positions before that belly of yours makes many of them a physical impossibility. And most of all, enjoy that cozy twosome while you can (and before that libido of yours takes its very likely postpartum nosedive).

"I'm interested in sex all the time, but my husband's never in the mood these days. I'm starting to take it personally."

What's putting your man off his favorite feed now that there's a bun in the oven? There are several possible explanations. One could be fear-of hurting you or hurting the baby (even though he can't). Another could be the weirdness factor of making love "in front of" the baby-or the nagging thought that the baby can see or feel his penis when it's inside you (which, by the way, is giving himself way too much credit). Maybe he's having a tricky time getting used to the changes in your body or adjusting to the idea that you're about to become somebody's mother. Or maybe he's just so focused on becoming a father that being a lover has taken a back seat. There might even be a physical trigger: Expectant and new fathers often experience a drop in testosterone and a surge in female hormones that can give their libidos a cold shower.

No matter what's causing your husband to run for cover every time he spies you with "that look," don't take it personally. But also don't resign yourself to a nine-month dry spell. Instead, initiate some frank pillow talk. Tell him how you're feeling (all revved up and no place to go), and find out what's going on in his head (which can explain what's not going on below his belt). Have him read the section on sex starting on page 255 page 255, as well as Chapter 19, which will reassure him that sex is perfectly safe in a normal pregnacy and that babies are completely oblivious to parental goings-on and gettings-it-on (and completely out of reach, even for the particularly gifted dad). Be understanding and patient if he has baggage he needs to unpack before you hit the sack again. Honest, open communication will allow the two of you to come to a meeting of the minds-and hopefully, a meeting of the bodies.

And don't just passively wait for love (and him) to land in your lap. Turn up his heat with some naughty lingerie that accentuates all your new (and dangerous) curves, add some mood lighting and music, and offer up a massage (complete with scented oils). If that just makes him feel more uncomfortable (and more pressured to perform), take the opposite tack. Cozy up on the sofa for some cuddling instead. Perhaps when the pressure's off, he might feel inspired to jump on the jumping-you bandwagon.

Cramp After Orgasm "I get a cramp in my abdomen after orgasm. Is that normal, or does it mean something's wrong?"

Not to worry-and not to stop enjoying sex, either. Cramping (sometimes accompanied by lower backache)-both during and after orgasm-is common and harmless during a low-risk pregnancy. Its cause can be physical: a combination of the normal increased blood flow to the pelvic area during pregnancy, the equally normal congestion of the sexual organs during arousal and orgasm, and the normal contractions of the uterus following orgasm. Or it can be psychological: a result of the common, but unfounded, fear of hurting the baby during sex. Or it can be a combination of physical and psychological factors, since the mind-body connection is so strong when it comes to sex.

In other words, that cramping isn't a sign that you're hurting your baby while you're enjoying yourself. In fact, unless your practitioner has advised you otherwise, it's perfectly safe to mix the pleasure of sex and the business of making a baby. If the cramps bother you, ask your partner for a gentle low back rub. It may relieve not only the cramps but any tension that might be triggering them. Some women also experience leg cramps after they have sex; see page 271 page 271 for tips on relieving those. for tips on relieving those.

Pregnant on the Job If you're pregnant, you've already got your work cut out for you. Add a full-time job to the full-time job of baby making, and your workload doubles. Juggling it all-practitioner visits with client meetings, trips to the bathroom with trips to the mailroom, morning sickness with business lunches, telling your best friend in accounting (who'll be excited for you) with telling your boss (who might not be), staying healthy and comfortable with staying motivated and successful, preparing for baby's arrival with preparing for maternity leave-can be a 9-to-5 challenge that keeps you working overtime. Here's some help for the pregnant and employed.

When to Tell the Boss Wondering when to belly up to your boss's desk to spill the pregnancy beans? There's no universally perfect time (though it's a sure bet you should do it before that bump gets noticeably big). A lot will depend on how family friendly (or unfriendly. your workplace is. Still more will depend on your feelings (the physical and emotional). Here are some factors to consider:

The Pregnant Worker's Rights There is much room for improvement in the U.S. workplace when it comes to families and their needs. Though individual policies vary from company to company, here's what federal law recognizes:[image] The Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978. This act prohibits discrimination based on pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions. Under this law, employers must treat you as they would treat any employee with a medical disability. However, it does not protect you if you end up not being able to do the job you were hired to do. The Pregnancy Discrimination Act of 1978. This act prohibits discrimination based on pregnancy, childbirth, or related medical conditions. Under this law, employers must treat you as they would treat any employee with a medical disability. However, it does not protect you if you end up not being able to do the job you were hired to do.

It is considered discriminatory-and illegal-to pass up a woman for a promotion or a job or fire her solely on the basis of her pregnancy. But this kind of discrimination, like all kinds of discrimination, can be difficult to prove. Complaints of pregnancy discrimination can be reported to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC), (800) 669-4000; eeoc.gov.[image] The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993. All public agencies and private-sector companies that employ at least 5. workers within a 75-mile radius of each other are subject to regulation under this act. If you have worked for such a company for at least a year (and at least 1,250 hours during the year), you are entitled to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during your pregnancy and for a child's (or other member of your family's) illness each year that you are employed. Barring unforeseen complications or early delivery, you must notify your employer of your leave 30 days in advance. During your leave, you must continue to collect all benefits (including health insurance), and when you return, you must be restored to an equivalent position with equal pay and benefits. Keep in mind, too, that you can use FMLA for weeks during your pregnancy if you're not feeling well. (In some cases, companies may be able to exclude from FMLA women who are considered key employees-those the company can't do without for 12 weeks and who are in the top 10 percent compensation bracket.) The Wage and Hour Division of the U.S. Department of Labor can offer information on FMLA. For more help, contact them at (800) 827-5335; or go online to The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of 1993. All public agencies and private-sector companies that employ at least 5. workers within a 75-mile radius of each other are subject to regulation under this act. If you have worked for such a company for at least a year (and at least 1,250 hours during the year), you are entitled to take up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during your pregnancy and for a child's (or other member of your family's) illness each year that you are employed. Barring unforeseen complications or early delivery, you must notify your employer of your leave 30 days in advance. During your leave, you must continue to collect all benefits (including health insurance), and when you return, you must be restored to an equivalent position with equal pay and benefits. Keep in mind, too, that you can use FMLA for weeks during your pregnancy if you're not feeling well. (In some cases, companies may be able to exclude from FMLA women who are considered key employees-those the company can't do without for 12 weeks and who are in the top 10 percent compensation bracket.) The Wage and Hour Division of the U.S. Department of Labor can offer information on FMLA. For more help, contact them at (800) 827-5335; or go online to dol.gov.[image] State and local laws. Some state and local laws offer additional protection against pregnancy discrimination. A very small handful of states and some larger companies also offer "temporary disability insurance," which allows for partial wages during time off for medical disabilities, including pregnancy. State and local laws. Some state and local laws offer additional protection against pregnancy discrimination. A very small handful of states and some larger companies also offer "temporary disability insurance," which allows for partial wages during time off for medical disabilities, including pregnancy.

How you're feeling and whether you're showing. If morning sickness has you spending more time hovering over the toilet than sitting at your desk; if first-trimester fatigue has you barely able to lift your head off your pillow in the morning; or if you're already packing a paunch that's too big to blame on your breakfast, you probably won't be able to keep your secret long. In that case, telling sooner makes more sense than waiting until your boss (and everyone else in the office) has come to his or her own conclusions. If, on the other hand, you're feeling fine and still zipping your pants up with ease, you may be able to hold off on the announcement until later. If morning sickness has you spending more time hovering over the toilet than sitting at your desk; if first-trimester fatigue has you barely able to lift your head off your pillow in the morning; or if you're already packing a paunch that's too big to blame on your breakfast, you probably won't be able to keep your secret long. In that case, telling sooner makes more sense than waiting until your boss (and everyone else in the office) has come to his or her own conclusions. If, on the other hand, you're feeling fine and still zipping your pants up with ease, you may be able to hold off on the announcement until later.

What kind of work you do. If you work under conditions or with substances that could be harmful to your pregnancy or your baby, you'll need to make your announcement-and ask for a transfer or change of duties, if at all feasible-as soon as possible. If you work under conditions or with substances that could be harmful to your pregnancy or your baby, you'll need to make your announcement-and ask for a transfer or change of duties, if at all feasible-as soon as possible.

How work is going. A woman announcing her pregnancy at work may unfortunately-and unfairly-raise many red flags, including, "Will she still have the stamina to produce while pregnant?" and "Will her mind be on work or on her baby?" and "Will she leave us in the lurch?" You may head off some of those concerns by making your announcement just after finishing a report, scoring a deal, ringing up record sales, coming up with a great idea, or otherwise proving that you can be both pregnant and productive. A woman announcing her pregnancy at work may unfortunately-and unfairly-raise many red flags, including, "Will she still have the stamina to produce while pregnant?" and "Will her mind be on work or on her baby?" and "Will she leave us in the lurch?" You may head off some of those concerns by making your announcement just after finishing a report, scoring a deal, ringing up record sales, coming up with a great idea, or otherwise proving that you can be both pregnant and productive.

Whether reviews are coming up. If you're afraid your announcement might influence the results of an upcoming performance or salary review, wait until the results are in before sharing your news. Keep in mind that proving you've been passed up for a promotion or raise based solely on the fact that you're expecting (and that you'll soon be a worker and a mother, not necessarily in that order) may be difficult. If you're afraid your announcement might influence the results of an upcoming performance or salary review, wait until the results are in before sharing your news. Keep in mind that proving you've been passed up for a promotion or raise based solely on the fact that you're expecting (and that you'll soon be a worker and a mother, not necessarily in that order) may be difficult.

Whether you work in a gossip mill. If gossip is one of your company's chief products, be especially wary. Should word of mouth of your pregnancy reach your boss's ears before your announcement does, you'll have trust issues to deal with in addition to the pregnancy-related ones. Make sure that your boss is the first to know-or, at least, that those you tell first can be trusted not to squeal. If gossip is one of your company's chief products, be especially wary. Should word of mouth of your pregnancy reach your boss's ears before your announcement does, you'll have trust issues to deal with in addition to the pregnancy-related ones. Make sure that your boss is the first to know-or, at least, that those you tell first can be trusted not to squeal.

What the family-friendliness quotient is. Try to gauge your employer's attitude toward pregnancy and family if you're not sure what it is. Ask other women who have walked in your soon-to-be-swollen footsteps before, if there are any (but keep inquiries discreet). Check the policies on maternity leave in your copy of the employee handbook that's been gathering dust on your desk. Or set up a confidential meeting with someone in human resources or the person in charge of benefits. If the company has had a history of being supportive of mothers and mothers-to-be, you may be inclined to make the announcement sooner. Either way, you'll have a better sense of what you'll be facing. Try to gauge your employer's attitude toward pregnancy and family if you're not sure what it is. Ask other women who have walked in your soon-to-be-swollen footsteps before, if there are any (but keep inquiries discreet). Check the policies on maternity leave in your copy of the employee handbook that's been gathering dust on your desk. Or set up a confidential meeting with someone in human resources or the person in charge of benefits. If the company has had a history of being supportive of mothers and mothers-to-be, you may be inclined to make the announcement sooner. Either way, you'll have a better sense of what you'll be facing.

Making the Announcement Once you've decided when to make your announcement, you can take some steps to ensure that it's well received: Prepare yourself. Before you break the news, do your research. Learn everything you need to know about your employer's maternity-leave policies. Some companies offer paid leave, others unpaid. Still others allow you to use sick days or vacation days as part of your leave. Before you break the news, do your research. Learn everything you need to know about your employer's maternity-leave policies. Some companies offer paid leave, others unpaid. Still others allow you to use sick days or vacation days as part of your leave.

Know your rights. Pregnant women-and parents in general-have fewer rights in the United States than in most every other industrialized country. Still, some baby steps have been made on behalf of expectant workers on the federal level through the Pregnancy Discrimination Act and the Family and Medical Leave Act (see box, Pregnant women-and parents in general-have fewer rights in the United States than in most every other industrialized country. Still, some baby steps have been made on behalf of expectant workers on the federal level through the Pregnancy Discrimination Act and the Family and Medical Leave Act (see box, page 187 page 187) and on the state level (many states have equal employment opportunity laws that protect against pregnancy discrimination). Many other big steps have been taken voluntarily by forward-thinking, family-friendly companies. Become familiar with what the law says you're entitled to, so you'll know what you can and probably can't ask for.

The Juggling Act Even if you don't have any kids at home yet, staying on the job while you're expecting will require that you practice the fine art of juggling work and family (or, at least, a family-to-be). Especially during the first trimester and the last, when the symptoms of pregnancy may be dragging you down and the distractions of pregnancy may be competing for your attention, this juggling act may be exhausting, and sometimes overwhelming-in other words, good preparation for the years of working and parenting you may have ahead of you. These tips won't make working simultaneously at those two jobs easier, but they may help make your working life work more smoothly with your making-a-baby life:[image] Schedule smart. Make appointments for checkups, ultrasounds, blood tests, glucose tolerance tests, and other procedures before your workday begins (you may be too tired afterward) or during your lunch break. If you need to leave work in the middle of the day, explain to your boss that you have a doctor's appointment, and keep a log of these visits (just in case anyone accuses you of slacking off). If necessary, request a note from your practitioner verifying your appointment, and give this to your employer or someone in your human resources department. Schedule smart. Make appointments for checkups, ultrasounds, blood tests, glucose tolerance tests, and other procedures before your workday begins (you may be too tired afterward) or during your lunch break. If you need to leave work in the middle of the day, explain to your boss that you have a doctor's appointment, and keep a log of these visits (just in case anyone accuses you of slacking off). If necessary, request a note from your practitioner verifying your appointment, and give this to your employer or someone in your human resources department.[image] Remember not to forget. If your brain cells seem to be dropping like flies, you can blame your hormones-and start taking precautions so your pregnancy-impaired memory doesn't get you into workplace hot water. To ensure that you don't forget that meeting, that lunch date, those calls that had to be made by noon: Make lists, write yourself reminders (Post-its are a pregnant worker's best friend), and keep your PDA handy (if you can remember where you put it). Remember not to forget. If your brain cells seem to be dropping like flies, you can blame your hormones-and start taking precautions so your pregnancy-impaired memory doesn't get you into workplace hot water. To ensure that you don't forget that meeting, that lunch date, those calls that had to be made by noon: Make lists, write yourself reminders (Post-its are a pregnant worker's best friend), and keep your PDA handy (if you can remember where you put it).[image] Know your limits and stop before you reach them. This isn't the time to volunteer to take on extra projects or extra hours unless it's absolutely necessary. Focus on what needs to be done-and realistically can be done-without wearing yourself out. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, complete one task at a time. Know your limits and stop before you reach them. This isn't the time to volunteer to take on extra projects or extra hours unless it's absolutely necessary. Focus on what needs to be done-and realistically can be done-without wearing yourself out. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, complete one task at a time.[image] Just say "yes." If colleagues offer to help out when you're not feeling well, don't hesitate to take them up on their kindness (maybe you can return the favor someday). And attention all expectant micromanagers: If there was ever a time to learn how to delegate, this would be it. Just say "yes." If colleagues offer to help out when you're not feeling well, don't hesitate to take them up on their kindness (maybe you can return the favor someday). And attention all expectant micromanagers: If there was ever a time to learn how to delegate, this would be it.[image] Recharge as needed. When you find yourself emotionally overwhelmed, and you will (a stuck stapler can start the tears flowing when you're pregnant), take a brief walk, a bathroom break, or some relaxation breaths to clear your head. Or indulge in a private moment of mom-to-be madness-you deserve it. Recharge as needed. When you find yourself emotionally overwhelmed, and you will (a stuck stapler can start the tears flowing when you're pregnant), take a brief walk, a bathroom break, or some relaxation breaths to clear your head. Or indulge in a private moment of mom-to-be madness-you deserve it.[image] Speak up. Not only are you only human, but you're human and pregnant. Which means you can't do it all and do it all well-especially if you feel crappy, as you will sometimes feel. If you can barely lift your head off your pillow (or leave the bathroom for more than five minutes) and you've got a pile of stuff on your desk or a major deadline looming, don't panic. Tell your boss you need extra time or extra help. And don't beat yourself up-or let anyone else beat you up. You're not lazy or incompetent, you're pregnant. Speak up. Not only are you only human, but you're human and pregnant. Which means you can't do it all and do it all well-especially if you feel crappy, as you will sometimes feel. If you can barely lift your head off your pillow (or leave the bathroom for more than five minutes) and you've got a pile of stuff on your desk or a major deadline looming, don't panic. Tell your boss you need extra time or extra help. And don't beat yourself up-or let anyone else beat you up. You're not lazy or incompetent, you're pregnant.

Put together a plan. Efficiency is always appreciated on the job, and being prepared invariably impresses people. So before you go in to make your announcement, prepare a detailed plan that includes how long you plan to stay on the job (barring any unforeseen medical problems), how long your maternity leave will be, how you plan to finish up business before you leave, and how you propose that any unfinished business be handled by others. If you would like to return part-time at first, propose that now. Writing up your plan will ensure you won't forget the details, plus it'll score you extra efficiency points. Efficiency is always appreciated on the job, and being prepared invariably impresses people. So before you go in to make your announcement, prepare a detailed plan that includes how long you plan to stay on the job (barring any unforeseen medical problems), how long your maternity leave will be, how you plan to finish up business before you leave, and how you propose that any unfinished business be handled by others. If you would like to return part-time at first, propose that now. Writing up your plan will ensure you won't forget the details, plus it'll score you extra efficiency points.

Set aside the time. Don't try to tell your boss the news when you're in a taxi on the way to a meeting or when he or she's got one foot out the door Friday night. Make an appointment to meet, so no one will be rushed or distracted. Try to make it on a day and at a time that is usually less stressful at your office. Postpone the meeting if things suddenly take a turn for the tense. Don't try to tell your boss the news when you're in a taxi on the way to a meeting or when he or she's got one foot out the door Friday night. Make an appointment to meet, so no one will be rushed or distracted. Try to make it on a day and at a time that is usually less stressful at your office. Postpone the meeting if things suddenly take a turn for the tense.

Accentuate the positive. Don't start your announcement with apologies or misgivings. Instead, let your boss know that you are not only happy about your pregnancy but confident in your ability and committed in your plan to mix work and family. Don't start your announcement with apologies or misgivings. Instead, let your boss know that you are not only happy about your pregnancy but confident in your ability and committed in your plan to mix work and family.

Be flexible (but not spineless). Have your plan in place, and open it up to discussion. Then be ready to compromise (make sure there is room for negotiation built into your plan) but not to back down completely. Come up with a realistic bottom line and stick with it. Have your plan in place, and open it up to discussion. Then be ready to compromise (make sure there is room for negotiation built into your plan) but not to back down completely. Come up with a realistic bottom line and stick with it.

Set it in writing. Once you've worked out the details of your pregnancy protocol and your maternity leave, confirm it in writing so there won't be any confusion or misunderstanding later (as in "I never said that ..."). Once you've worked out the details of your pregnancy protocol and your maternity leave, confirm it in writing so there won't be any confusion or misunderstanding later (as in "I never said that ...").

Never underestimate the power of parents. If your company is not as family friendly as you'd like, consider joining forces to petition for better parental perks. Realize, however, that you and other parents may be met with hostility by childless employees; as family policies become more generous, resentment tends to build among those who can't take advantage of them. Making sure that similar allowances are made for employees who must take time off to care for sick spouses or parents may help unite, rather than divide, the company. If your company is not as family friendly as you'd like, consider joining forces to petition for better parental perks. Realize, however, that you and other parents may be met with hostility by childless employees; as family policies become more generous, resentment tends to build among those who can't take advantage of them. Making sure that similar allowances are made for employees who must take time off to care for sick spouses or parents may help unite, rather than divide, the company.

Staying Comfortable on the Job Between nausea and fatigue, backaches and headaches, puffy ankles and a leaky bladder, it's hard for any expectant mom to have a completely comfortable day. Put her at a desk or on her swollen feet or at a job that requires bending or lifting and you've got a recipe for even more pregnancy discomfort. To stay as comfortable as possible on the job when you're expecting, try these tips: [image] Dress for success and comfort. Avoid tight, restrictive clothing, socks or knee-highs that cut off circulation, as well as heels that are too high or too flat (wide 2-inch heels are best). Wearing support hose designed for pregnancy will help ward off or minimize a variety of symptoms, from swelling to varicose veins, and may be especially important if you're spending a lot of the day on your feet. Dress for success and comfort. Avoid tight, restrictive clothing, socks or knee-highs that cut off circulation, as well as heels that are too high or too flat (wide 2-inch heels are best). Wearing support hose designed for pregnancy will help ward off or minimize a variety of symptoms, from swelling to varicose veins, and may be especially important if you're spending a lot of the day on your feet.

Carpal Tunnel Syndrome If you spend your day (and maybe your nights, too) tap-tap-tapping on a keyboard, you may already be familiar with the symptoms of carpal tunnel syndrome (CTS). A well-known worker's malady, CTS causes pain, tingling, and numbness in the hands and most often strikes those who spend a lot of time doing repetitive tasks (typing, punching numbers, working a PDA). What you might not know, however, is that CTS affects the majority of pregnant women. Even moms-to-be who never touch a computer keyboard are prone to it, thanks to swollen tissue in the body that presses on nerves. The good news is that carpal tunnel syndrome is not dangerous-just uncomfortable, especially on the job. Even better, you can try a number of remedies until you see the light at the end of the carpal tunnel: [image] Raise your office chair so your wrists are straight and your hands are lower than your elbows as you type. Raise your office chair so your wrists are straight and your hands are lower than your elbows as you type.[image] Switch to a wrist-friendly ergonomic keyboard (one that has a wrist rest) as well as a mouse that offers wrist support. Switch to a wrist-friendly ergonomic keyboard (one that has a wrist rest) as well as a mouse that offers wrist support.[image] Wear a wrist brace while typing. Wear a wrist brace while typing.[image] Take frequent breaks from the computer. Take frequent breaks from the computer.[image] Use a speakerphone or headset if you're on the phone a lot. Use a speakerphone or headset if you're on the phone a lot.[image] In the evenings, soak your hands in cool water to reduce any swelling. In the evenings, soak your hands in cool water to reduce any swelling.[image] Ask your practitioner about other possible remedies, including vitamin B Ask your practitioner about other possible remedies, including vitamin B6 supplements, acupuncture, or pain relievers. supplements, acupuncture, or pain relievers.

[image]Watch the weather-inside you. No matter the climate in your city (or your office), when you're pregnant, the forecast is for wildly swinging body temperatures. Sweating one minute and chilly the next, you'll want to favor the layered look-and have a layer ready for every possible condition. Thinking of bundling up in a wool turtleneck to brave a 12F day? Don't do it unless you've got a lightweight layer underneath that you can strip down to when a hormone-driven heat wave starts burning inside. And even if you're usually toasty in just a tee, stash a sweater in your drawer or locker. Your body temp goes both ways fast these days.[image] Stay off your feet-at least as much as possible. If your job demands that you stand for long stretches, take sitting or walking breaks. If possible, keep one foot on a low stool, knee bent, while you stand, to take some of the pressure off your back. Switch feet regularly. Flex them periodically, too. Stay off your feet-at least as much as possible. If your job demands that you stand for long stretches, take sitting or walking breaks. If possible, keep one foot on a low stool, knee bent, while you stand, to take some of the pressure off your back. Switch feet regularly. Flex them periodically, too.[image] Put your feet up. Find a box, a wastebasket, or another sturdy object on which to discreetly rest your weary feet under your desk. Put your feet up. Find a box, a wastebasket, or another sturdy object on which to discreetly rest your weary feet under your desk.[image] Take a break. Often. Stand up and walk around if you've been sitting; sit down with your feet up if you've been standing. If there's a spare sofa and a slot in your schedule, lie down for a few minutes. Do some stretching exercises, especially for your back, legs, and neck. At least once (or even twice) every hour, do this 30-second stretch: Raise your arms above your head, clasp your fingers, palms up, and reach up. Next, place your hands on a desk or table, step back a bit, and stretch out your back. Sit down and rotate your feet in both directions. If you can bend over and touch your toes-even from a seated position-go for it to release the tension in your neck and shoulders. Take a break. Often. Stand up and walk around if you've been sitting; sit down with your feet up if you've been standing. If there's a spare sofa and a slot in your schedule, lie down for a few minutes. Do some stretching exercises, especially for your back, legs, and neck. At least once (or even twice) every hour, do this 30-second stretch: Raise your arms above your head, clasp your fingers, palms up, and reach up. Next, place your hands on a desk or table, step back a bit, and stretch out your back. Sit down and rotate your feet in both directions. If you can bend over and touch your toes-even from a seated position-go for it to release the tension in your neck and shoulders.[image] Adjust your chair. Back hurt? Slip on a lumbar cushion for extra support. Bottom sore? Slide a soft pillow onto your seat. If your chair reclines, consider setting it back a few notches to create more (and more!) space between your belly and your desk. Adjust your chair. Back hurt? Slip on a lumbar cushion for extra support. Bottom sore? Slide a soft pillow onto your seat. If your chair reclines, consider setting it back a few notches to create more (and more!) space between your belly and your desk.[image] Hang out by the water cooler. Not for the latest gossip (though that certainly can be a perk) but for frequent refills of your cup. Or keep a refillable water bottle at your desk. Drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day can keep many troublesome pregnancy symptoms at bay, including excessive swelling, and may help prevent a UTI. Hang out by the water cooler. Not for the latest gossip (though that certainly can be a perk) but for frequent refills of your cup. Or keep a refillable water bottle at your desk. Drinking at least 64 ounces of water a day can keep many troublesome pregnancy symptoms at bay, including excessive swelling, and may help prevent a UTI.[image] Don't hold it in. Emptying your bladder as needed (but at least every two hours) also helps prevent UTIs. A good strategy. Plan to pee every hour or so, whether you need to or not. You'll feel better overall if you avoid getting to the bursting point. (Now's not the time to have to sprint to the bathroom.) Don't hold it in. Emptying your bladder as needed (but at least every two hours) also helps prevent UTIs. A good strategy. Plan to pee every hour or so, whether you need to or not. You'll feel better overall if you avoid getting to the bursting point. (Now's not the time to have to sprint to the bathroom.)[image] Take time for your tummy. Every expectant mom's job description includes feeding her baby regularly, no matter what else is on her workday agenda. So plan accordingly-making room in even your busiest days for three meals, plus at least two snacks (or five to six mini meals). Scheduling meetings as working meals (and trying to have some say about what's served) may help. So will keeping a supply of nutritious snacks in your desk and your purse, as well as in the office fridge, if there is one. Rediscover brown bags-they're not particularly glam, but they can keep you and baby fed when time's not on your side. Take time for your tummy. Every expectant mom's job description includes feeding her baby regularly, no matter what else is on her workday agenda. So plan accordingly-making room in even your busiest days for three meals, plus at least two snacks (or five to six mini meals). Scheduling meetings as working meals (and trying to have some say about what's served) may help. So will keeping a supply of nutritious snacks in your desk and your purse, as well as in the office fridge, if there is one. Rediscover brown bags-they're not particularly glam, but they can keep you and baby fed when time's not on your side.[image] Keep an eye on the scale. Make sure job stress-or erratic eating-isn't keeping you from gaining enough or is contributing to excess weight gain (as it can for stress eaters, especially if they work near a vending machine or another easy junk food outlet). Keep an eye on the scale. Make sure job stress-or erratic eating-isn't keeping you from gaining enough or is contributing to excess weight gain (as it can for stress eaters, especially if they work near a vending machine or another easy junk food outlet).[image] Pack a toothbrush. If you're suffering from morning sickness, brushing your teeth can protect them between bouts of vomiting-plus it helps freshen up your breath when it most needs freshening. Mouthwash will also be a welcome addition to the breath-freshening team, and it can help dry out a mouth that's full of excess saliva (which is common in the first trimester and can be extra embarrassing at work). Pack a toothbrush. If you're suffering from morning sickness, brushing your teeth can protect them between bouts of vomiting-plus it helps freshen up your breath when it most needs freshening. Mouthwash will also be a welcome addition to the breath-freshening team, and it can help dry out a mouth that's full of excess saliva (which is common in the first trimester and can be extra embarrassing at work).[image] Lift with care. Do any necessary lifting properly, to avoid strain on the back (see Lift with care. Do any necessary lifting properly, to avoid strain on the back (see page 237 page 237).[image] Watch what you breathe. Stay out of smoke-filled areas; not only is smoke bad for you and your baby, it can also increase fatigue. Watch what you breathe. Stay out of smoke-filled areas; not only is smoke bad for you and your baby, it can also increase fatigue.[image] Take an occasional chill pill. Too much stress isn't good for you or your baby. So try to use breaks to relax as fully as you can: Bring an iPod so you can listen to music; close your eyes and meditate or indulge in some daydreaming; do some soothing stretches; take a five-minute stroll around the building. Take an occasional chill pill. Too much stress isn't good for you or your baby. So try to use breaks to relax as fully as you can: Bring an iPod so you can listen to music; close your eyes and meditate or indulge in some daydreaming; do some soothing stretches; take a five-minute stroll around the building.[image] Listen to your body. Slow down your pace if you're feeling tired; go home early if you're exhausted (and can leave). Listen to your body. Slow down your pace if you're feeling tired; go home early if you're exhausted (and can leave).

Staying Safe on the Job Most jobs are completely compatible with the job of feeding and caring for an unborn baby, which is very good news to the millions of expectant mothers who must manage to work full time at both occupations. Still, some jobs are obviously safer and better suited to pregnant women than others. Most on-the-job problems can be avoided with the right precautions or a modification of duties (check with your practitioner for other workplace recommendations in your case): Office work. Anyone with a desk job knows the pain of stiff necks, aching backs, and headaches, all of which can make a pregnant woman feel more uncomfortable than she already is. No harm done to baby-but a lot of wear and tear on your achy expectant body. If you spend a lot of time sitting, be sure to stand up, stretch, and walk away from your desk frequently. Stretch your arms, neck, and shoulders while sitting in your chair, put your feet up to reduce swelling (your boss may not appreciate your tootsies on the desk, so rest your feet on a low stool or box instead), and support your back with a cushion. Anyone with a desk job knows the pain of stiff necks, aching backs, and headaches, all of which can make a pregnant woman feel more uncomfortable than she already is. No harm done to baby-but a lot of wear and tear on your achy expectant body. If you spend a lot of time sitting, be sure to stand up, stretch, and walk away from your desk frequently. Stretch your arms, neck, and shoulders while sitting in your chair, put your feet up to reduce swelling (your boss may not appreciate your tootsies on the desk, so rest your feet on a low stool or box instead), and support your back with a cushion.

Quiet, Please By about 24 weeks, your baby's outer, middle, and inner ear are well developed. By 27 to 30 weeks, your baby's ear is mature enough to start to respond to the sounds that filter through to him or her. The sounds, of course, are muffled-and not just by the physical barrier of amniotic fluid and your own body. In his or her fluid-filled home, a baby's eardrum and middle ear can't do their normal job of amplifying sounds. So even sounds that are quite loud to you won't be for the baby.Still, since noise is one of the most prevalent of all occupational hazards and has long been known to cause hearing loss in those (adults) exposed to it regularly, you might want to play it safe when it comes to excessive noise during pregnancy. That's because studies suggest that prolonged prolonged and and repeated repeated exposure to very loud noise raises the odds of a baby suffering some hearing loss, especially at lower frequencies. Such prolonged noise exposure-say, an eight-hour-a-day shift in an industrial workplace, where the sound level is more than 9. or 100 decibels (about the same as standing next to a loud lawn mower or a chain saw)-can also increase the risk of premature delivery and low-birthweight babies. Extremely intense sound, 150 or 155 decibels (ever stand right next to a screaming jet engine?), can cause similar problems for the baby. Generally, it's safest to avoid more than eight hours of continuous exposure to noises louder than 85 or 90 decibels (such as a lawn mower or truck traffic) and more than two hours a day of exposure to noise louder than 100 decibels (such as that from a chain saw, pneumatic drill, or snowmobile). exposure to very loud noise raises the odds of a baby suffering some hearing loss, especially at lower frequencies. Such prolonged noise exposure-say, an eight-hour-a-day shift in an industrial workplace, where the sound level is more than 9. or 100 decibels (about the same as standing next to a loud lawn mower or a chain saw)-can also increase the risk of premature delivery and low-birthweight babies. Extremely intense sound, 150 or 155 decibels (ever stand right next to a screaming jet engine?), can cause similar problems for the baby. Generally, it's safest to avoid more than eight hours of continuous exposure to noises louder than 85 or 90 decibels (such as a lawn mower or truck traffic) and more than two hours a day of exposure to noise louder than 100 decibels (such as that from a chain saw, pneumatic drill, or snowmobile).More research needs to be done, but in the meantime, expectant mothers who work in an extremely noisy environment-such as a club where loud music is played, in a subway, or in a factory where protective hearing devices are required (you can't put these devices on your fetus)-or who are exposed to heavy vibrations on the job should play it safe and seek a temporary transfer or a new job. And try to avoid prolonged exposure to very loud noises in your everyday life: Listen to the concert from the middle of the amphitheater, or better yet, head back to the lawn seats; turn down the volume in your car; and wear headphones instead of blasting the music while you're vacuuming.

What about computer safety? Luckily, computer monitors are not a hazard to pregnant women, and neither are laptops. More worrisome is the multitude of physical discomforts, including wrist and arm strain, dizziness, and headaches, that can result from too much time spent in front of the computer. For fewer aches and pains, use a height-adjustable chair with a backrest that supports your lower back. Adjust the monitor to a comfortable height; the top should be level with your eyes and about an arm's length away from you. Use an ergonomic keyboard, designed to reduce the risk of carpal tunnel syndrome (see box, page 191 page 191), if possible, and/or a wrist rest. When you put your hands on the keyboard, they should be lower than your elbows and your forearms should be parallel to the floor.

Getting All the Facts By law, you have the right to know what chemicals you are exposed to on the job; your employer is obliged to tell you. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) is the regulatory body that monitors those laws. Contact them for more information on your rights regarding workplace safety: (800) 321-OSHA-(800) 321-6742; osha.gov. Further information on workplace hazards can also be obtained by contacting the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), Clearinghouse for Occupational Safety and Health Information, (800) CDC-INFO-(800) 232-4636; cdc.gov/niosh/topics/repro.If your job does expose you to hazards, either ask to be transferred temporarily to a safer post or, finances and company policy permitting, begin your maternity leave early.