What Shall We Do Now?: Five Hundred Games and Pastimes - Part 5
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Part 5

whereupon the two sing the verse over again, the player imitating with his arms the movements of a violin player, and with his voice the sound of a squeaking fiddle. Then the conductor says, pointing to another player, "and the big trombone played this simple melody." Then the three sing together, the second player imitating the sound of a trombone and the appearance of a trombone player. This is continued until every one is playing on an imaginary instrument, the conductor, of course, being the only one who sings the words of the song.

A Good Fat Hen

A nonsensical game, useful in leading to forfeits. The company sit in a row, and one of the end players begins by saying, "A good fat hen."

Each of the others in turn must then say, "A good fat hen." The first player then says, "Two ducks and a good fat hen," and the words pa.s.s down the line. Then "Three squawking wild geese, two ducks, and a good fat hen." And so on until the end is reached, in the following order--

Fourth round.--Prefix: Four plump partridges.

Fifth round.-- " Five pouting pigeons.

Sixth round.-- " Six long-legged cranes.

Seventh round.-- " Seven green parrots.

Eighth round.-- " Eight screeching owls.

Ninth round.-- " Nine ugly turkey-buzzards.

Tenth round.-- " Ten bald eagles.

The sentence has now reached a very difficult length:--"Ten bald eagles, nine ugly turkey-buzzards, eight screeching owls, seven green parrots, six long-legged cranes, five pouting pigeons, four plump partridges, three squawking wild geese, two ducks and a good fat hen."

Any one making a mistake may be made to pay a forfeit.

John Ball

The same game may be played also with "The House that Jack Built,"

and there are other stories of a similar kind. Among these the most amusing for a large party would perhaps be the old rhyme of "John Ball."

First round.-- John Ball shot them all.

Second round.-- John Block made the stock, But John Ball shot them all.

Third round.-- John Brammer made the rammer, John Block made the stock, But John Ball shot them all.

Fourth round.-- John Wyming made the priming, John Brammer made the rammer, John Block made the stock, But John Ball shot them all.

Fifth round.-- John Scott made the shot....

Sixth round.-- John Crowder made the powder....

Seventh round.-- John Puzzle made the muzzle....

Eighth round.-- John Farrell made the barrel....

Ninth round.-- John Clint made the flint....

Tenth round.-- John Patch made the match....

In the tenth round, then, each player has to say--

John Patch made the match, John Clint made the flint, John Farrell made the barrel, John Puzzle made the muzzle, John Crowder made the powder, John Scott made the shot, John Wyming made the priming, John Brammer made the rammer, John Block made the stock, But John Ball shot them all.

Chitterbob

There is also the old rhyme of "Chitterbob," but it is usual in repeating this to say it all at once, in one round, and not prolong the task. This is the rhyme:--

There was a man and his name was Cob He had a wife and her name was Mob, He had a dog and his name was Bob, She had a cat and her name was Chitterbob.

"Bob," says Cob; "Chitterbob," says Mob.

Bob was Cob's dog, Mob's cat was Chitterbob, Cob, Mob, Bob, and Chitterbob.

In the old way of playing "Chitterbob" a paper horn used to be twisted into the player's hair for each mistake made in the recitation, and at the end these horns could be got rid of only by paying forfeits.

The m.u.f.fin Man

"The m.u.f.fin Man" is another variety. The players sit in a circle, and the game is begun by one of them turning to the next and asking, either in speech or in song--

Oh, do you know the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man?

Oh, do you know the m.u.f.fin man who lives in Drury Lane?

The reply is--

Oh, yes I know the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, Oh, yes I know the m.u.f.fin man who lives in Drury Lane.

Both players then repeat together--

Then two of us know the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, Then two of us know the m.u.f.fin man who lives in Drury Lane.

This done, the second player turns to the third and the same question and answer are given; but when it comes to the comment--

Then three of us know the m.u.f.fin man,...

the first player also joins in. At the end therefore, if there are eight people playing, the whole company is singing--

Then eight of us know the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, the m.u.f.fin man, Then eight of us know the m.u.f.fin man who lives in Drury Lane.

Family Coach

In "Family Coach" each player takes the name of a part of a coach, as the axle, the door, the box, the reins, the whip, the wheels, the horn; or of some one connected with it, as the driver, the guard, the ostlers, the landlord, the bad-tempered pa.s.senger, the cheerful pa.s.senger, the pa.s.senger who made puns, the old lady with the bundle, and the horses--wheelers and leaders. One player then tells a story about the coach, bringing in as many of these people and things as he can, and as often. Whenever a person or thing represented by a player is mentioned, that player must stand up and turn round. But whenever the coach is mentioned the whole company must stand up and turn round.

Otherwise, forfeits. A specimen story is here given as a hint as to the kind of thing needed:--

"There's the railway, of course," said _Mr. Burly_, "and there's the motor wagonette, and you've all got bicycles; but let's go to London in the old-fashioned way for once; let's go in the _Family Coach_." These words delighted everybody.

"Oh, yes," they all cried, "let's go in the _Family Coach_."

It was therefore arranged, and _John the Coachman_ had orders to get everything ready. This was no light matter, for the _Family Coach_ had not been used for many years, and it would need to be taken to the coachbuilder's at once and be overhauled. So the next morning it lumbered off, and it did not come back for a week; but when it did there was a change indeed. The _wheels_ had been painted red, the _axles_ had been tested, the _springs_ renewed, the inside re-lined, the _roof_ freshly upholstered, and the whole made bright and gay. At last the morning came, a clear, sunny day, and punctually at nine _John_ rattled up to the door. The _horses_ stood there pawing the ground, as if ready to gallop all the way. _John_ had a new coat and hat, and Tim and Peter, the _grooms_, were also in new livery. Every one was ready. First came _Mr. Burly_ in a wonderful great overcoat, and then _Mrs. Burly_ in furs. Then _Uncle Joshua_, then _Aunt Penelope_, and then the three girls and two boys. How they all found room I don't know, but they did. "Are we all ready?" said _Mr. Burly_. "All ready," said _Uncle Joshua_.

So _Tim_ and _Peter_ sprang away from the _horses'_ heads, crack went the _whip_, round went the _wheels_, _Uncle Joshua_ blew the _horn_, and the old _Family Coach_ was fairly on its journey.

It was a splendid ride. _John_ kept his _horses_ going at a grand pace and hardly used the _whip_ at all, the _wheels_ ran smoothly over the road, and whenever we pa.s.sed through a village _Uncle Joshua_ blew the _horn_. We stopped at Thornminster for lunch. _John_ brought us up to the inn door in style, and the _landlord_ came out rubbing his hands and helped _Mrs. Burly_ and _Aunt Penelope_ down with a flourish.

"Proud to see you, sir," he said to _Mr. Burly_. "It is seldom enough that folks travel nowadays in an old _Family Coach_. I wish there were more of them."

After lunch we went along in the same splendid way until suddenly round a corner came a donkey-cart with the donkey braying at the top of his voice. _John_ pulled the _horses_ well over to the side, but the braying was too much for them, and they rolled into the ditch. In a moment the old _Family Coach_ was overturned. _Mr. Burly_ was shot into the field across the hedge, _Uncle Joshua_, grasping the _horn_, landed in a pond, _John_ and _Aunt Penelope_, _Mrs. Burly_ and the _grooms_ all stuck in the hedge. No one was hurt, but two of the _wheels_ were broken to pieces and one _axle_ was bent, and that was therefore the last of the old _Family Coach_. So we never got to London in the old way after all.

If this story is not long enough, it can be lengthened. The words in italics are those to be distributed among the company, each player taking more than one if necessary. When the accident comes they might all fall down as they are mentioned. In the case of the wheels and the horses, these may either be taken all four by one player, or eight players may share them. Thus, when the wheels are mentioned, all four players who have taken the wheels would stand up and turn round, and four others when the horses were alluded to.

The Traveler, and the Bicyclist

"The Traveler" is a favorite variety of the "Family Coach." In this game a player with a ready tongue is chosen as traveler, and the others are given such names as landlord, bell-boy, clerk, waiter, chambermaid, electric light, elevator, bed, supper, paper, sitting-room, bedroom, steam-radiator, slippers, and so on. The traveler is then supposed to arrive and give his orders. "Can I have a room to-night? Good. And how soon will _supper_ be ready? Ask the _bell-boy_ to take my _satchels_ up to my _room_. Show me to my _room_ and send up the _papers_." And so on, each person named having to stand up or be booked for a forfeit.

This game lends itself to various new forms. One might be called "The Bicyclist" and run thus:--A player having been chosen as the bicyclist, the others take as many bicycling names (or two names each might add to the fun) as there are players. Thus--lamp, wick, oil, handle-bars, spokes, tires, chain, pump, nuts, bell, hedges, fields, sheep, roads, hill, dog. This settled, the bicyclist will begin his story, something in this style:--