What If I Fly? - What if I Fly? Part 10
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What if I Fly? Part 10

"Miss Grasso..." he says with a wicked grin, "The things I'm going to do to you..." Will scoops her up over his shoulder and she squeals with pleasure as he carries her to the bed.

They spend the next few hours eagerly exploring each other's bodies, a blur of mouths, tongues, fingers, legs, skin, and exquisite release, after which they collapse in exhaustion, their limbs entwined.

"That was definitely worth the wait," she says, holding her hand to her chest, trying to catch her breath.

Will rolls on top of her, pinning her arms above her head, and covers her mouth with his hand.

"You're not going to stop me this time, Julia...I love you." Will releases her arms and removes his hand.

"Why?" she whispers, blinking back tears.

"Jules, when I'm with you, I feel... alive. Like we can take on the world together." He wipes away her tears, his lips meeting hers, "Remember my promise."

"Will...I'm so in love with you."

The following morning, Will and Julia drive to the battlefields of Gettysburg, investigating until the park closes, and then drive south, arriving at his place in Georgetown close to eleven that evening.

"Didn't JFK and Jackie own a place near here?" she asks when they pull up to his townhouse, "I remember reading that they lived on one of the alphabet streets. K? L? I don't remember..."

"You're close, they lived on N Street, not too far from here. I think that's why my father wanted to buy this place. Even though he's a Republican, he's a huge admirer of JFK."

On the first floor, Will walks her through the kitchen, a dining room with a table and chairs his parents gave him, an empty library with a stereo, and a living room with a fireplace. No couch, no end tables, nothing.

They walk up the stairs to the second floor, which includes Will's bedroom, bathroom, and walk-in closet. There's also a second, unfurnished bedroom and bath, and a den with a couch, television and built-in bookshelves. On the third floor is a third bedroom and bathroom, as empty as the rest of the house.

"Will, this place is huge! Where's your furniture?" she laughs.

"I haven't gotten that far yet," he buries his face in her neck, his hands wandering beneath her shirt. Will unhooks her bra with one hand, his other cupping her breast and kneels down, unbuttoning her jeans.

"Maybe we should eat something?" she suggests, her voice just above a whisper.

"Are you hungry?" he murmurs, pulling her pants over her hips to the floor. She reaches down and tugs off his shirt, running her fingers over his bare chest.

"Yes. Yes I am." She raises her arms and Will removes her shirt and bra, then lifts her off the ground, and carries her to his bedroom.

Julia wakes with a start, and reaches for Will, but the bed is empty and cold. "Will?" she calls out, her brow furrowed. It takes her a moment, but then she remembers, he's at work today and she's on her own. The alarm clock beside his bed says it's almost nine. He must have left two hours ago. On the nightstand beside the bed is a piece of paper, folded in half with her name written across it. She picks it up and reads...

I didn't want to wake you. See you tonight. I love you. W She holds the note to her chest, smiling. He loves me... She lies in bed for a bit, looking around the room. The walls are bare. She doesn't see any photographs of his family. Just his bed, a nightstand, an old bureau and several stacks of books.

She climbs out of bed and finds a clipping from their hometown newspaper on his bureau, a grainy picture of her that was published last summer when they did West Side Story. She can't believe he kept it!

Last night, she didn't get a good look at his place. It was dark and some of the rooms don't have overhead lighting. Will has yet to buy any lamps. She pulls on a pair of leggings and one of his sweatshirts, and pads down the carpeted stairs. There's nothing homey about this place, nothing that indicates Will lives here. It's strange, cold and impersonal.

She looks through his kitchen cupboards, makes herself some tea and an English muffin, and tops it with peanut butter. There are a few spotty brown bananas on the counter, but she's too hungry to care.

Through the French doors leading to the backyard, she notices a lovely garden and heads to the patio carrying her breakfast. Whoever lived here before Will had a green thumb. Even in late September the garden is full of color, and Will seems to be maintaining it, or hired someone to do it.

On the flagstone patio is a lounge chair, and a small wrought-iron table with four chairs and a striped umbrella. She eats her breakfast and sips her tea, wondering what she should do next.

It's much quieter here in Georgetown than in New York. She's never liked silence, it invites unwelcome thoughts. She sits back and watches a bird splashing in the small bath next to the azaleas.

Since the weekend Will helped her move to Brooklyn, he's been on her mind, but she's kept herself busy with school and work. Her friends have been teasing her, saying she's been floating on a love-filled cloud for the past few weeks, a constant smile on her lips and a twinkle in her eye.

Sitting in the relative silence of Will's backyard, she frowns, unpleasant thoughts beginning to swirl in her head. Except for a lengthy phone call to share the news with Gabby, Julia hasn't had time to genuinely reflect upon their circumstances. When it's just the two of them it's so easy to forget the outside world, to overlook the differences that kept them apart.

Spending time with Will clouds her thinking. When they're together, she doesn't believe he'll ever come to resent her for keeping him from the world he knows. But he might one day... She'd give anything for the sound of sirens screaming and taxis blaring their horns right now!

We're in love! Julia's heart stops at the thought. Love! Her throat closes and she begins to hyperventilate, then leans over and rests her head between her legs, reminding herself to take deep breaths.

What does it even mean to be in love? To want to be with that person more than anyone? To give your heart away and trust he won't break it into a million pieces? Will promised he'd never hurt her again. She believes he'd never intentionally hurt her, but that doesn't mean he won't hurt her. There are no guarantees.

Julia runs into the kitchen, picks up the phone and dials Gabby's number. Her friend will have some advice, some soothing words of wisdom. After five rings the call goes to her answering machine. Goddammit! Julia slams the phone onto the receiver and slides to the floor. This isn't good.

Immersing herself in the past has always been a perfect distraction from the present, so she picks up her copy of The Killer Angels and attempts to read about the battle of Gettysburg, hoping to take her mind off these paralyzing thoughts. But she re-reads the same paragraph a dozen times, and finally gives up. Too many confusing thoughts are crowding her head, too many scary scenarios.

She feels the desperate need to escape Will's home, to run from these feelings, so she heads upstairs, jumps in the shower and takes the Metro across town to explore the sights.

Julia visits the Lincoln and Jefferson memorials, then takes a long walk along the National Mall. She's been sightseeing for hours and knows it's time to head back to Will's house, but she doesn't feel quite ready to go.

What is she going to do? Listen to her heart or her head?

She finds an empty bench and kills some time people watching. Old couples and young couples walk by hand in hand, along with harried families trying to navigate the city with small children in tow, and men and women in suits carrying briefcases, looking official and important.

Maybe love isn't the destructive force she thought it was. Her mother's face flashes before her. Carol's doing really well these days. She went back to school a couple of years ago and stopped drinking for the most part, limiting herself to a glass of wine occasionally. Last year she got a great job as an executive assistant to the president of the local university and she loves it. Her mother even started dating a nice man this past summer, someone Julia approves of. Carol's in a good place now, but Julia can't help it...she keeps waiting for the bottom to drop out from under her.

She's lost in thought when an old homeless woman approaches her. She's so familiar, her face kind and gentle. The lady reminds Julia of Gram, and her eyes begin to water as she searches through her bag for money. Gram, I wish you were here. I could really use your advice right now. She finds a few dollars and hands them to the elderly woman, who holds Julia's hand for a moment and nods, shuffling toward the Reflecting Pool.

She closes her eyes, remembering her conversation with Gram the night she died, and can hear her grandmother's voice in her head. Follow your heart my angel, it's not every day you meet someone who feeds your soul.

She smiles and takes a deep breath in. She knows the answer, she's known it all along. It's time to go home to her Romeo and take a chance on love.

Julia's birthday falls on a beautiful, early-Autumn day, crisp and comfortable. After spending most of the morning in bed, they enjoyed brunch at a bistro near his place, then drove to Mount Vernon, where the Fall Wine Festival is being held this weekend. Will saw the advertisement in the newspaper earlier this week, and Julia jumped at the chance to see George Washington's home in person. Neither of them is particularly interested in wine, but he knows Julia's fascinated by the lives of the Founding Fathers.

At the end of the house tour Julia spends several minutes staring intently at a portrait of the President.

"This is an original by Gilbert Stuart."

He scratches his chin, pensive. I know that name... Julia's eyes open wide.

"Will, please, you're from Rhode Island! Have you no state pride? Don't tell me your fancy private school never took you to Gilbert Stuart's homestead? I'm starting to think you didn't get your moneys worth!"

"No, they did, in maybe the third grade! And I remember seeing the signs for his birthplace on the way to URI."

"How about Slater Mill in Pawtucket? Did they take you there? The birthplace of the Industrial Revolution in America?" she asks, hands on hips, eyebrow raised.

"Okay, Miss Grasso. You're head's getting too big to fit in here."

Will grabs Julia's hand, pulling her out of the house, onto the veranda where 'George and Martha Washington' are greeting guests, answering questions about 'their' lives.

"We need to find an outhouse or a barn," he says, eyeing the outbuildings and fields.

"What for? They have bathrooms in the visitor's center."

"I think you need a good spanking," he says, wrapping his arms around her.

"Really?" Julia laughs, "And who's gonna give it to me?"

"Not George Washington." He leans in and whispers in her ear, "I want you right now."

"You're serious?" Julia blushes, her eyes wide, questioning.

He nods his head, tightening his hold on her so she can feel just how serious he is. Julia begins to laugh, then takes his hand, leading him off the porch.

"Thank god I'm wearing a skirt."

They walk through the rolling fields of Mount Vernon in search of privacy and find a spot behind one of the barns. After waiting a few minutes to see if anyone passes, Will presses Julia against the exterior wall of the building, his hands reaching beneath her skirt, pulling down her panties.

Julia unzips his pants and he lifts her, his mouth against hers and thrusts himself inside her, over and over again. Her nails bite into his flesh, and she wraps her legs around him tightly. He can tell she's about to climax, and he can't control himself anymore. Julia throws her head back, biting her lip to keep from crying out, and he feels her body pulsing around him as he comes.

They collapse on a pile of hay, kissing and catching their breath before hastily adjusting their clothes. That was definitely the most reckless thing he's ever done, sex in a public place, in broad daylight! But he had to have her just then...

Will zips his pants, and his heart stops. He leans back against the barn wall, and feels the blood draining from his face.

"Julia."

"Will, what wrong?"

"We didn't use anything."

"Oh, fuck!" She slaps her hand over her mouth.

Jesus Christ, what did I do? He holds his head in his hands for a moment, then takes a deep breath in and turns to Julia. She looks petrified. The last thing he should do is panic.

"Hey, look at me," he says, and she turns warily toward him. He runs his finger over her lips, smiling. "No matter what. I love you."

"You'd love me fat and pregnant?" Julia raises an eyebrow.

"Yes," he says, taking her hand in his.

"Will, I'm twenty-one, you're not even twenty-four..." she frowns, her voice trailing off. "Well...I doubt I'm pregnant, I'm due in a day or two." Julia shrugs, "I don't want to think about that now. Let's go visit with George and Martha on the veranda."

As the sun sets over Mount Vernon, Will and Julia relax on a blanket listening to a live blues band playing near the mansion. The tickets to the festival included a bottle of wine, and cheese and crackers. Julia's lying across the blanket, her head in his lap, both of them enjoying the music and the moment.

"Will? Do you think a person's heart can burst from being too happy?"

"I don't think so." He leans over and kisses her softly. He's wondered the same thing himself.

"I hope not, because mine feels like it could." She eats a couple of crackers. "Will?"

"Yes, Jules?" He smiles, twirling one of her long curls around his finger.

"Does it seem odd to you that a blues band is playing at George and Martha's house? 'Cause I'm pretty sure blues music wasn't around in the 1700's."

Upon their return from Mount Vernon, they head straight upstairs to Will's bedroom, and he sits on his bed and watches, mesmerized, as Julia washes her face, takes off her earrings and pulls her hair back into a ponytail. I love her so much...his life was empty without her in it.

Those three months after the wedding, when she wouldn't talk to him were terrible, he felt so ashamed and lonely. What if she'd never come back to me? The thought physically pains him. She gave him a second chance when her grandmother died. He did nothing to deserve that chance, but he won't squander it.

"Jules, what are you planning to do after you graduate? Are you thinking of staying in New York? Or would you consider moving...I don't know... maybe here?"

"Well...I've been thinking DC would be a natural fit for me."

"Really?" he sighs with relief. If she said no, he'd seriously consider relocating wherever she plans to live.

"Uh huh," Julia nods and walks toward him, removing her shirt. "Yes, there are so many possibilities down here." She pushes him back on his bed, reaching for his belt, "I could find a job at one of the museums, I've always wanted to work at the Smithsonian..."

Julia takes off her skirt, and removes his pants.

"I am so relieved to hear you say that!" He slides her underwear to the floor, "The next eight months are going to be tough..." he kisses her soft neck, her breasts, "...with all the commuting back and forth."

Julia nods her head, inhaling sharply as he slides a finger inside her, "But knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel makes it bearable," he whispers.

"Yes, bearable..." she says, pulling off his boxers, and climbs onto the bed.

"I have this big place." Will positions her above him.

"Yes..." Julia slides her hips down, slowly taking him in, an inch at a time.

"So, I was thinking..." he grabs her hips, his breathing labored, "Maybe, you could live with me?"

"What?" Julia freezes.

"I want you to live with me." He sits up and wraps his arms around her waist, looking into her eyes.

"Give me five minutes, then we'll talk."

Julia pushes him back against the bed, tightens her hold on him and closes her eyes, her back arching, as he cries out her name.

Breathless, Julia collapses beside him, and remains silent for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling. He turns on his side and watches as the conflicting emotions flash across her face, and holds his breath, praying he didn't scare her away.

"Jules, I know this is a huge step and we haven't been together very long..." he rolls on top of her, kissing her gently. Julia's brow furrows, and he runs his finger over the creases on her forehead, "Actually, we have...just not in the biblical sense."

She giggles and turns to him, "The biblical sense?" she laughs again. "Will, my instinct is to say yes. But let me think about it while I'm in New York. I need a clear head to make that kind of decision and my head is definitely not clear when I'm around you!"

"Fair enough."