Though I continued for a time on the farm or in the coal mines, yet I was told to go out and preach somewhere on Sundays. Accordingly, I would ride ten or twenty miles on Sunday to preach in different schoolhouses.

Putting the rein over the horn of the saddle, I would plead before the cold gray sky for an unknown G.o.d to renew my happy feelings as a token of His existence. But no happiness, or a.s.surance, came to me. When the time came to preach, I felt the importance of not throwing our lives away in sinful living, and so was able to give them some very earnest advice. Then on the return trip I would continue to pray to an unsympathetic sky. Nothing, however, ever came of it except a deeper depression of spirits. Though the dynamo was running at a terrific rate, yet the circuit of my thoughts was broken beyond my ability to repair.

So I decided to go to college at any sacrifice.

Boarding a train for the first time, I went two hundred miles for my preparatory course in connection with the college where I expected to graduate. But no religious experience came to me until the middle of my soph.o.m.ore year. Then while studying Mark Hopkins' little book, "The Law of Love, and Love as a Law," I got a new insight into the human soul. I could see that if one would bring all his powers into harmony, and then relate them to the beautiful enfolding universe, all things must work together for his good,--if by his good one meant the perfect unfolding of his life. Instantly there came a great joy in living. It took shape in the thought, "All things work together for good to them that love G.o.d." I felt that no proposition in geometry was more capable of proof.

A life with its powers united in the will of G.o.d must unfold to match the harmony without, even as the rose unfolds to the light and warmth of the sun. Besides, I now had entertainment and beautiful friends. Almost any good thing seemed possible. "This," I said, "must be what intelligent people mean by Christian experience." The only remaining question was the old one, "Is there a G.o.d?" Is G.o.d "The Allness of things about us?" This, however, seemed too pantheistic. And the personal G.o.d still evaded me. So I decided that the question of G.o.d was too much for me, and that I would just wait until I should meet the "wise men" who knew. In the meantime I would a.s.sume that there was a G.o.d; for the college president believed that there was, and prayed to Him every day at chapel.

As the happy unfolding of my life continued I tried to commit all to G.o.d whose will, if He existed, I very well knew. At any rate there was something in the universe that matched my need. I would just call it G.o.d until I met the "wise men" in further courses of study which by this time I had fully resolved upon. So the last two and a half years of my college course were very beautiful; they constantly increased my joy in living. No small part of this better experience was due to the influence of the Christian gentleman and fascinating preacher who became our new college pastor.

Here it becomes necessary to relate something more delicate than anything that has gone before. While I was in college my younger and only brother pa.s.sed through a great moral crisis. As I dearly loved him he was much in my mind. During my senior year I dreamed night after night that he was killed. In these dreams I was always with my two older sisters hunting our brother in the woods. Feeling certain that we should find him dead, we usually came upon him by an old log cabin where he lay dead and mangled. I have no theories about the dreams, but the impression made upon my mind was so deep that when I went home, after graduating from college, I felt that I must do something to help him.

Accordingly it was planned that I should spend three or four days with him in the harvest field where he was running a heading machine. There I hoped we should have a pleasant time, and find an opportunity to shed some light on the deeper meanings of life. Then some evening we would have a quiet little talk when I might persuade him to be a Christian. As I was going a long distance to a theological school, and did not expect to see him again for three years, I hoped to accomplish my purpose during the week at my disposal. For two and a half days we worked together with many pleasant little chats. It then being Sat.u.r.day noon, my father wanted me to drive fourteen miles with him and preach for him the next day. I could return Monday and be with my brother one or two days before the long journey. But Sat.u.r.day afternoon a great storm arose, and at midnight my host awakened me saying, "Your brother is killed by lightning."

Though we started home immediately, the mud was so deep and sticky that it required till daylight to make the journey. There had been a cloudburst, and such an electric storm as is seldom seen. From midnight till dawn we dragged through the mud under an indescribable electrical display. Forked lightning splitting the sky in every direction made the whole heavens lurid with light, while the low thunder like distant artillery scarcely ceased to roll. No pen can describe that journey.

Nature seemed omnipotent and awe-inspiring. At first my heart was dazed and dumb. Then it cried, "Why did G.o.d kill my brother at this little nick of time when I was hoping to bring him to Christ? Was there ever anything like this? Why _did_ He take him?"

Then while I was fixedly watching the omnipotent display before me my mind asked:

"Did G.o.d kill him or did the great and terrible machine, called the world, kill him? What is the world, and what is G.o.d? When does G.o.d act, and when does the universe act? Would they not be squarely in each other's way much of the time? The world I know, and its activities I behold, but where is G.o.d? Does He have an abode, or is He a sort of spiritual ether that pervades the universe?" And my heart responded, "Oh, you have never yet settled the question of whether there is a G.o.d!"

So once more G.o.d faded into a dream, or a guess, while the elements continued to display their terrifying power.

At daylight I stood with a broken heart beside my dead brother, believing either that there was no G.o.d, or else that my brother had gone to endless torment. A few moments later I saw my father kneel by his side, and heard him say, "Oh, my son, my son, would to G.o.d I had died for thee!"

In a short time we were invited to breakfast, and my father being unable to speak motioned to me to say grace. However I managed I do not know, but out of a choking throat I said grace to as empty and G.o.dless a world as any human being ever faced.

Two weeks after my brother's death I entered the theological seminary.

The deep, vast, and unshakable verities from which I could not escape were sorrow and love. All else was chaos. As a hungry man seeks for food, so I sought for light. Much of the theology in the books which I read irritated me so that I could scarcely eat my food at mealtimes. Yet it was important that I should learn the history of human thought. All of my professors I truly loved and respected, but the att.i.tude of theological schools more than thirty years ago was not wholly suited to the needs of one on the border of a "new world-awakening" whose faith had suffered so much and so long. The theological world was not quite ready to give the help that it now gives to many suffering minds.

During my first year in the seminary I frequently dreamed of seeing my brother in torment. Sometimes I would wake trembling, and even when I could throw off the thought and go to sleep, I was liable to repeat the dream in some new form.

Once when I was walking with one of the professors, as true a Christian man as ever I knew, I told him of the circ.u.mstances of my brother's death. He asked me if my parents were Christians. I told him that they were very good Christians. Then he counseled me not to go off into any heresies, but to feel comforted concerning my brother; for "The promises were to the parents and to their children unto the third and fourth generation."

While I listened to this in silence, yet the following thoughts went through my mind:

"Then G.o.d would save my brother who had not improved his privileges, while He would consign to endless torment our poor play-fellows who were not blessed with the good influence of Christian parents."

My mind instinctively felt what I had discretion not to say: "I should despise a G.o.d who had no more ethical sense than that. G.o.d should be harder on my brother than on them."

Much of my philosophy and theology was worked out during my seminary course; but there were gaps that I could not fill. So I next went to Yale to study philosophy. In postgraduate work, through the guidance of professors, I expected to find the "wise men" for whom I had waited so long. However, these "wise men" are not readily understood in a few weeks. They have a poor faculty for making connection with all the ideas that still linger in the mind of callow youth. At any rate it soon dawned upon me that there was no such G.o.d as I was looking for or else these men were unable to give Him to me. When this conviction came to me I went out from a recitation one night into the dark and once more fought the old battle. Standing on the New Haven Green and looking up into the pelting sleet I said:

"Now I have met the 'wise men,' and still I do not know whether there is an inspired Bible, or a heaven, or a G.o.d." But I exclaimed, "O G.o.d, if you are, and if I should ever meet you anywhere in eternity, I would run to you as a little child runs to a father. I would tell you how weak and sinful and ignorant I am, and I know you would love me." That night on the old Green, while in the dark and pelted with sleet, I went out onto the last crag where any human soul can go, and cried into the infinite depths, "O G.o.d, if you are there, some day I shall know you and love you." In that act I pa.s.sed beyond all men and all inst.i.tutions, and took my stand with the final reality, whatever it might be, and at least I was free and not afraid. Though thoroughly agnostic still, yet I could quietly work and wait.

Returning to my studies and resolving to appropriate whatever I could understand, I was surprised to find how much of the teaching ministered to my needs. Before long I came to see that G.o.d did not have a central nucleus, or ghost form in heaven; neither did He resemble a refined substance like ether. Spirit was something quite different from what I had supposed. My mind was. .h.i.tting the trail. Then I understood that G.o.d had not revealed Himself to the world according to my demand, because no such G.o.d existed in heaven or earth. So one day in cla.s.s I asked a professor, who is now dead, if he thought we should see G.o.d in heaven as we see men and trees here. At the same time I a.s.sured him that I did not. His answer was, "I think your position would be a very dangerous doctrine to teach." But my own conviction was that it was becoming a very dangerous doctrine not to teach. Time has proved that I was right.

Millions of people are suffering to-day from false images of G.o.d or from no image of G.o.d. Not long ago when I related this cla.s.s incident to a Yale man, he remarked, "Well, Professor ---- made great growth before he died."

My categorical answers to the four questions at the head of this chapter are: When we have rational ideas of G.o.d and the universe we shall see that He is leaving nothing undone to reveal Himself. To an enlightened understanding it does not seem possible that G.o.d could reveal Himself so that no one could doubt His existence. Though the existence of G.o.d is a question of doubt and discussion with many, yet we may achieve deep and satisfying a.s.surance if we go about it in the right way. I think it would be morally wrong for G.o.d to leave His children in doubt of His existence if He were able to reveal Himself.

This chapter is largely excavation. We have dug the hole deep so that we may commence in the next chapter to lay the foundation on solid bottom.

And this was necessary if our proposed structure is to stand.

Allow me this closing word. When I began to get on my religious feet at Yale, I unexpectedly received a call to a college pastorate. And though the usual number of sceptics were found among the students, yet in many respects they were the most savable men in college. Usually, if you could hit the keys of their souls they would ring back and ring true.

CHAPTER II

HOW SCIENCE SAVES RELIGION, OR MODERN KNOWLEDGE AND RELIGION

_What_ is G.o.d?

_Who_ is G.o.d?

_Where_ is G.o.d?

What does G.o.d _do_?

_If the ancients made their G.o.ds, how do we know that we are not making our G.o.d?_

_May we not be communing with a mere idea?_

MODERN KNOWLEDGE AND RELIGION

Christian character, the Christian college, and Christian civilization have been very important factors in the discovery and development of modern learning.

Expecting to derive much benefit from the sciences, Christian people with fine enthusiasm strove to promote them. Nevertheless, there came a time when the allied sciences threatened to turn upon and destroy the religion that had so carefully nurtured them. When the scientific imagery of the Bible began to clash with the clearly ascertained facts of science, many people concluded that science and religion were contradictory; however, the crude conceptions of the material universe found in the Bible are no integral part of religion.

That religion may discard its wornout clothes for new and better ones has not been an easy lesson for believers, or unbelievers, to learn.

Thinking that religion must stand or fall with the scientific accuracy of the Bible, some drew back from modern science preferring religion; others clung to the new learning forsaking religion. For a time, therefore, it was inevitable that religion and her foster daughter, modern science, should not be on the best of terms; because the daughter could not approve of the mother's dress, and the mother thought the daughter utterly lacking in becoming reverence. However, with their great need of each other, let us believe that they are now settling down to a lasting friendship of mutual helpfulness.

Unfortunately, the opinion is gaining considerable credence that modern Christians are believing less and less, and that finally they will cease to believe in religion altogether.

But this is the very opposite of the truth, for they are still believing the old religion, though in a vastly bigger and better way. For, at the present time, where its help is welcome, modern learning is rendering a beautiful service to Christian faith. And this is the grateful testimony of thousands of intelligent, consecrated people. No well-informed person, however, would deny that science has injured, and will increasingly weaken, the faith of those who do not know how to make a religious use of modern learning.

While religion and science have distinctive fields to cultivate, yet neither may disregard the claims of the other with impunity.

Nevertheless, we do rejoice to see science tearing down the "old cabin"

of an unscientific world in which the Church has lived too long. But when it proposes to shut G.o.d out of the _new mansion_ of a scientific universe, those who know and love Him will seriously object,--especially since the new knowledge makes G.o.d better understood, and more needed than ever.

It is likewise pleasant to see religion standing for spiritual verities and duties, but when it demands that the Christian shall live in a world that is crude and half false, the modern man resents it. He simply cannot do it. Yet, to-day and always, religion should be a simple story that anyone may understand; but it should not be clothed in such crude and antiquated forms as to antagonize the man of modern knowledge.

During these introductory statements, we may as well admit that the average scientist appears to have as poor a knowledge of religion as the average Christian has of science. Too often he is still resisting religious conceptions that all intelligent Christians have long since outgrown, or else he is adopting philosophical theories that are only half thought through. This is amazingly true of some men who are superb in their own chosen lines of research. No one is. .h.i.t by this statement unless he is standing in the line of the shot. Whether or not the reader is. .h.i.t, I beg of him to keep friendly with me until he has heard my simple story of G.o.d in His world.

Could we but free the religion of Jesus from the crude psychology and the antiquated science of other days, and see it at home in the fairer world of to-day, it would shine with new l.u.s.ter; and at the same time give a rich, new meaning to the world itself,--such as it can never have apart from religion. Science, and not religion, was responsible for crude science.--Religion will be responsible if it retains a science that has become antiquated.

Taking our stand then in the midst of modern knowledge, I shall endeavor to _picture_ religion both at home and happy in the new world. I shall not have much to say directly about scientific subjects, but shall constantly try to keep in mind the man with modern information. The nearer I can make this book resemble a primer, the better satisfied I shall be. If one could so write that the learned would approve, and the ignorant understand, his joy should be full. To give a simple _description_ of G.o.d in His world congenial to the scholar, while comprehensible and acceptable to common busy people, would be the highest possible service one could wish to render. In these days there is great need of a clear presentation of G.o.d; a presentation that is free from the entanglements of technical learning, and at the same time consonant with the known facts of life. Practical men would like to see "the mended circuit of our religious thoughts," since their circuits, in many cases at least, seem broken beyond repair. They are asking for a simple and satisfying gospel that is cognizant of the facts and forces among which they live and toil. We shall begin, therefore, at the very beginning.

1. What is G.o.d?

The discussion which immediately follows does not concern itself with why we believe in G.o.d, but aims to give a definite idea of how we conceive of Him. For those who have a natural sense of G.o.d, or a religious nature, a satisfying conception of Him will be ample for their spiritual needs. And, furthermore, those who doubt G.o.d's existence need first of all a definite idea of what we mean by the term Deity.