'I dinna want to gang an inch wrang.'

'Weel, then, for instance, some folk objec's to a chap sookin' his tea frae his saucer----'

'I'll note that. Fire awa'!'

'An' if a cream cookie bursts----'

'Dae they burst whiles?'

'Up yer sleeve, as a rule,' said Macgregor very solemnly.

'Guid Goad! I'll pa.s.s the cream cookies.'

'But they're awfu' tasty.'

'Are they? . . . Weel, what dae ye dae if it bursts?'

'Never let bug.'

'Ay, but--but what aboot the cream?'

'Best cairry an extra hanky an' plug yer sleeve wi' it.'

After a dismal pause, Willie inquired: 'Could ye no get her to leave the cream cookies oot o' her programme, Macgreegor?'

Macgregor looked dubious. 'She's gey saft on them hersel', an' she micht be offendit if we refused them. Of course they dinna scoot up the sleeve every time.'

'Oh!'--more hopefully.

'Whiles they explode doon the waistcoat--I mean tunic.'

'That's enough!' wailed Willie. 'If the Clyde was handy, I wud gang an' droon masel'!'

On the third day following, they obtained late pa.s.ses. Willie's uneasiness was considerable, yet so was his vanity. He affected an absurdly devil-may-care deportment which so stirred Macgregor's sense of pity that he had thoughts of taking back what he had said about the cream cookies. But at the last moment his bootlace snapped. . . .

Willie's toilet was the most careful he had ever made, and included an application of exceeding fragrant pomade pilfered from his corporal's supply and laid on thickly enough to stop a leak.

Finally, having armed himself with his new cane and put seven breath perfumers and a cigarette in his mouth, he approached the stooping Macgregor and declared himself ready for the road.

'What's that atrocious smell?' demanded Macgregor, with unwonted crustiness.

For once in his life Willie had no answer at hand, and for once he blushed.

XII

A TEA-PARTY

Christina was serving a customer when her two guests entered the shop. Unembarra.s.sed she beamed on both and signed to Macgregor to go 'right in.' So Macgregor conducted his friend, who during the journey had betrayed increasing indications of 'funk,' into the absent owner's living-room, which Christina had contrived to make brighter looking than for many a year.

At the sight of the laden table Willie took fright and declared his intention of doing an immediate 'slope.' 'Ye didna tell me,' he complained, 'there was to be a big compn'y.'

Macgregor grabbed him by the arm. 'Keep yer hair on, Wullie.

There'll be naebody but the three o' us. There's nae scrimp aboot Christina,' he added with pride.

'I believe ye!' responded the rea.s.sured guest. 'Gor, I never seen as much pastries in a' ma born days--no but what I'm ready to dae ma bit.'

Just then Christina entered, remarking:

'It's an awfu' job tryin' to sell what a person doesna want to a person that wants what ye ha'ena got; but I done it this time.

Evenin', Mac. Mr. Thomson, I am delighted to meet ye.'

'Aw,' murmured Willie helplessly.

'Dinna terrify him,' Macgregor whispered.

'Sorry,' she said with quick compunction. 'I'm gled to see ye, Wullie. Sit doon an' feel at hame. The kettle's jist at the bile.

See, tak' Miss Tod's chair. She'll like to think that a sojer sat in it. She'll never ha'e been as near to a man. I was askin' her the ither nicht if she had ever had a lad. The answer was in the negative.'

'Maybe,' Macgregor suggested, 'she didna like to tell ye the truth.'

Christina smiled gently, saying, 'Ye've a lot to learn aboot us females, Mac.'

'By Jings, ye're richt there!' Willie exploded, and immediately subsided in confusion.

'Ay,' she agreed placidly; 'he's no a connoisseur like you, Wullie.

Talkin' o' females, hoo's yer aunt keepin'?'

'Rotten--at least she was fine the last time I seen her ugly.'

'The decay seems to ha'e been rapid. But, seriously, it's a peety ye canna love yer aunt better----'

Love her! Oh, help!' The 'p' was sounded just in time, and Willie glanced at Macgregor to see whether he had noticed the stumble.

Macgregor, however, had forgotten Willie--unless, perhaps to wish him a hundred miles away. Christina was wearing a new white blouse which showed a little bit of her neck, with a bow of her favourite scarlet at the opening.

'D'ye ken what ma aunt done to me the ither day?' Willie proceeded, craving for sympathy. 'I was terrible hard up, an' I wrote her a nice letter on a caird wi' a view o' Glesca Cathedral on it, includin' the graveyaird--cost me a penny; an' what dae ye think she sent me back? A bl--oomin' trac'!'

At that moment the kettle boiled, and Christina, exclaiming 'Oh, mercy!' sprang to the hearth. Over her shoulder she said in a voice that wavered slightly:

'That was hard cheese, Wullie, but ye maun send her a cheerier-like caird next time. I'll stand ye an optimistic specimen afore ye leave the shop.'

'Thenk ye! A--of course we'll ha'e to draw the line at picturs o'

folk dookin' in the sad sea waves or canoodlin' on the sh.o.r.e----'

Christina, teapot in one hand, kettle in the other, burst out laughing.