I stood up.

Then he stood up, instantly making me feel tiny.

There we stood, not really knowing what to say. I just knew that I didn't want to say good-bye.

"You're a very special woman," he said. And he pulled me to him and tightened his arms around me.

And fool that I was, I let him.

Big mistake. Huge, colossal, enormous enormous mistake. mistake.

I hadn't been too bad until we made physical contact. But the minute I was in his arms all hell broke loose on the emotions front. Longing and yearning and lust (yes, even more!) and loss and a warm fuzzy feeling.

Being in his arms reminded me of how he had made me feel. I thought I had forgotten how wonderful it was to be with him. But it all came rushing back.

My head was buried against his chest. I could feel his heart beating through the thin material of the T-shirt. The same beautiful him of soap and warm male skin that I remembered.

I wanted to stay there forever, safe, pressed up against his beautiful hard body, his arms holding me tenderly.

I pulled away from him.

"You're not so bad yourself," I replied. For the life of me I couldn't understand why I had tears in my eyes.

"Be happy," he said.

"You too," I replied.

I wriggled out of his arms.411.

"Well, good-bye," I sniffed.

"Why good-bye?" he asked, smiling.

"Because I'm going back to London on Sunday, so I probably won't ever see you again," I said. I felt as if I was going to burst into tears. And wondered what the hell he was smiling at. Who gave him the right to look so smug and happy? Had he no sense of occasion? This was no laughing matter! On the contrary.

I couldn't believe how wretched I felt. This was so painful.

I wished he would just go go!

"Won't you ever go out again?" he asked. "Can't you get a baby-sitter?"

"Of course I will," I said sadly. "But I still won't be able to see you. Not unless you jet over to London now and then for an evening out. And I can't see you doing that."

"No," he said thoughtfully. "You're right. There would be no point jetting over to London for an evening out when I'm already there."

For a moment I thought I'd misheard him. But I looked at him, at his smiling face, and knew that I hadn't.

Hope rushed through me, such a feeling of something wonderful that I thought I might burst from it.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, barely able to breathe.

I had to sit down.

"Um, I'm, er, moving to London," he said quietly. He sat down beside me on the bed. He was trying to look very serious but a smile kept breaking through.

"Are you?" I squeaked. "But why?"

And then a thought struck me.

"Hey, don't tell me. You've nowhere to stay and you were wondering, just wondering if you could sleep on my floor. Just for a couple of nights, a year max. Is that right?" I said bitterly.

He burst out laughing.

"Claire, you're so funny!" he said.

"Why?" I asked, annoyed. "What are you laughing at?"

"You!" he said, still in hysterics. "I've got got somewhere to stay. I'm not stupid enough to be nice to you just so I can ask you if I can stay with you. somewhere to stay. I'm not stupid enough to be nice to you just so I can ask you if I can stay with you.

Do you think I have a death wish? I know you'd kill me."412.

"Good," I said, slightly mollified. At least he had a little bit of respect.

"Is that why you think I came up here to talk to you?" he asked, a lot more seriously. "Maybe I'm the stupid one here, but I thought I'd made it clear how much I like you and care for you. Don't you believe me?"

"Well, you can't blame me for being suspicious," I said sulkily.

"No," he sighed. "We'll just have to work on convincing you how wonderful you are and that I have no ulterior motives for wanting to be around you. I don't want you for your child. I don't want you for your apartment.

I just want you for you."

"Do you want me?" I whispered, suddenly feeling very alive and sexy.

So powerful, so aware that I was a woman and that he was a man and that unavoidable physical attraction pulsed between us. His eyes darkened, the blue almost turned to black, and he looked and sounded very serious.

"I want you very much," he said.

The room suddenly went quiet and still. Even Kate wasn't making a sound. You could have cut the sexual tension with a knife.

I broke the mood before one or both of us combusted spontaneously.

"Let me get this straight," I said, trying to be businesslike. "You're coming to London. What for? Why?"

"I've got a job," he said, as if it was the most reasonable explanation in the world.

"But what about college?" I asked, bewildered. "Are you giving it all up?"

"No," he said, "but it's going to be different. I'll study at night."

"Why?" I asked, still not really understanding. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I've got to work now that I've got a child to support. And there aren't any jobs in Dublin. And my dad was able to get me into some mer-chant bank in London. And I'll still be able to get my degree. It'll just take longer."

"But what about your baby?" I wailed. "You've just gotten 413 to know her and now you'll have to leave her again. That's awful!"

It was his turn to look bewildered.

"But Molly's coming with me," he said, sounding a bit baffled. "I'm taking Molly to London."

"Jesus," I said in hushed tones. "Don't tell me that you're abducting her?

I've heard of fathers doing that."

"No!" he said, exasperated. "Hannah wants wants me to take her. Hannah wants to go around the world; she's had enough of being responsible for a while. me to take her. Hannah wants to go around the world; she's had enough of being responsible for a while.

I suppose it's no coincidence that she was suddenly overcome with remorse about not letting me see Molly when she suddenly realized that she needed a baby-sitter for a year."

"Golly," I said. "It hardly sounds ideal. What about poor Molly? And why didn't Hannah's parents insist on taking care of her?"

"Oh, Hannah had a major falling-out with them when she decided that she was going off on vacation for a year," explained Adam. "And Molly will be fine, I hope. I'll get her into therapy as soon as she's able to talk.

"I'm only joking," he said when he saw my horrified face. "I know it's not the perfect upbringing for a child. To be uprooted from her home and for her mother to run away for a year and to be landed on a father who doesn't even know her. But all I can do is my best."

"And what about when Hannah comes back and wants to take Molly back to Ireland?" I said, racked with worry.

"Oh, Claire," he said gently, taking my hand in his. "Would you relax?

Who knows what's going to happen in a year's time? I'll worry about that when I come to it. Can't we just live in the now for a little while?"

I said nothing.

I was thinking.

He was right, I decided.

When happiness makes a guest appearance in one's life, it's important to make the most of it. It may not stay around for long and when it has has gone wouldn't it be terrible to think that all the time one could have been happy was wasted worrying about when that happiness would be taken away? gone wouldn't it be terrible to think that all the time one could have been happy was wasted worrying about when that happiness would be taken away?414.

"So, if I could get to the main point of my visit," he continued, suddenly very brisk. "May I ask you something?"

"Of course." I smiled.

"If I'm being too forward, please stop me," he said, all self-deprecating charm. "But do you think it would be possible for us to meet each other some time in London? Perhaps we could share a baby-sitter? And, of course, any time you need a baby-sitter, I'll be only too happy to oblige."

"Thank you, Adam," I said politely. "I would love to see you in London.

And, of course, if you too should need a baby-sitter, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Seriously," he said, his voice dropped several octaves. "This is very important to me. Will we really be able to see each other in London?"

"Of course course," I said, laughing. "I'd love to see you."

I looked up and caught his eye. When I saw the look on his face-admiration, like, almost certainly lust. In fact, there might even have been love-the smile froze on my face.

"Oh, Claire," he breathed as he bent to kiss me. "I've missed you."

It was at this point that Kate decided that she'd had enough of being ignored and started up like a police siren.

At the same time Helen burst through the door and stopped abruptly when she saw us. She took in the pair of us sitting on the bed. Adam holding my hand, my head raised for Adam's kiss, and she said slowly, "I don't fucking believe it."

I braced myself for the onslaught.

Retribution would be both swift and terrible.

I looked at my feet and I was horrified to hear her crying.

Helen? Crying? Surely some mistake. It was unheard of!

I looked up at her, filled with remorse and compassion. I was almost in tears myself.

And then I realized that she wasn't crying.

The bitch was laughing!

She laughed and laughed. "You and Adam," she said, shaking her head, tears of laughter pouring down her face. "The shame shame of it." of it."

"Why?" I demanded, all annoyed compassion and remorse quickly forgotten. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing." She laughed. "Nothing. But you're so old 415 and..." She stopped, unable to speak, she found it all so funny. "The look on your face! You looked terrified. And I thought he liked me me!" she exclaimed, and she was off again. It was all so hilarious that she couldn't even stand straight. She leaned up against the wall and then doubled over.

I sat and stared coldly at her while Kate wailed like a banshee.

Adam looked slightly bemused.

If there was something funny, then I certainly couldn't see it.

I picked up Kate before she burst a blood vessel and nodded to Adam.

"Talk to Helen," I suggested.

Adam unfolded himself and left the room after Helen.

I rocked Kate in my arms and tried to soothe her. She was a lovely child, but, I swear to God, sometimes her timing was so off.

I could hear Helen laughing all the way down the stairs.

And a while later she arrived back in.

"You fucking bitch," she said cheerfully, sitting down on the bed beside me. "You had us all fooled. Pretending to be totally heartbroken about James and all the time you had the hots for Adam."