"I don't like the ferry."

"All right," Winn acknowledged.

"Is Dempsey the reason you don't like the ferry?""Yeah," said Greg. Winn could hear a frown in his voice as if he were tryingto figure something out. "He said some bad things to Daddy on the ferry andmade him afraid. There's Mama!"

Cynthie ran up when she saw her child on Winn's lap. She hugged him tightly.

"You scared us, Greg," she said.

"Stay with us now, all right?"

She slipped into the seat across the table.

"Sure," said the boy, settling himself into Winn's lap as if he expected to

be there forever. Winn was glad she hadn't scolded him.

Anyway, Winn thought, Cynthie probably blamed him for the child's

disappearance. After all he had done this afternoon, she was probably saving all her anger for him.

Peter arrived a few minutes later, smiled at Greg's greeting, and took the

seat next to Winn.

"The buffalo's rotten," Peter said.

"That's a shame," Cynthie said but she was so glad to have her family

together again that she couldn't bring herself to care."What buffalo?" asked Winn and Greg together.Cynthie explained."They were going to roast a buffalo whole like you would a pig. What happened?"

Peter shrugged.

"I'd think a buffalo would be a little big to roast that slowly," Winn

suggested.

"There would be almost no fat, either."

"They dumped it in the river," Peter said.

Cynthie wrinkled her nose.

"There's plenty of food anyway," she said.

Winn heard a jingle of spurs and wrapped his arms around Greg just as he

started to squirm.

"Stay right here," he whispered.

"You're with me, remember?"

Cynthie saw her son relax but wondered why Winn thought he had to hold him so

tightly. He could let him get down off his lap; he wasn't going to wanderoff again, surely. She was about to say something when she heard Kyle behindher.

"Can I talk to you, Cynthie?"

She glared at him a moment then nodded, ma king no move to get up.

He tried to stifle his irritation at having to talk to her in front of her

three misfit charges. She had been angry enough when she stomped away fromhim earlier that he decided not to push his luck. He gave her his mostcharming smile.

"There's to be a ball tonight to dedicate the new hotel.Would you come with me? ""I can't keep Greg out that late," she said.He looked over at the boy who was glaring at him with open animosity.That nosy Sutton was hanging on every word."Send these three home, then. I'm sure Peter can see to their safety.I'll bring you home later. ""Thank you, Kyle, but I think I'll pa.s.s. I'm sure it'll be a terrible crowd." She saw the disappointment on his face and for once didn't feelguilty. She knew he was hoping to get her alone and decided it was a safebet to add, "There's to be dancing this afternoon, though."

Kyle glanced again at her three companions.

"I'm afraid I have business to take care of this afternoon." He bade them goodbye and walked away. If he couldn't have Cynthie to himself, he'd waituntil another time. An afternoon spent watching over what amounted to threechildren would probably bring her to her senses better than anything he could say.

Cynthie watched him go with no regret at all. She smiled across the table at her son.

"Who wants to eat?"

Just before dark, Peter went to the livery stable and hitched the wagon.

Cynthie, with Winn and a very tired Greg, followed more slowly. Greg settledinto the back of the wagon with his head on Winn's lap and was asleep beforethey got to the ferry.

As Peter started the team moving on the west side of the river, Cynthie heardthe whistle and pop of the first fireworks of the evening. She wanted to wake Greg so he could watch but she hesitated, unsure of what she would sayto Winn.

When she looked behind her Winn was already shaking the boy's shoulder.

"Greg, look," he said softly.

"You're missing the fireworks."

Greg set up slowly, rubbing his eyes, then gave a little start as the nextrocket burst and seemed to shower the town with sparks.

"Watch for me, Greg. Tell me the colors."

Greg climbed into Winn's lap and, with the strong arms around him, exclaimedover each explosion until he became too tired to care.

Cynthie listened and thought her heart would break. What must Winn be feeling, hearing about something he'd never see? She remembered her own glib offer to describe a sunrise.

How could she have thought it would be appreciated?

Today must have been awful for Winn. Kyle had been so rude. She didn't blame Winn for taking a punch at him, but it must have been humiliating tomiss. He had been quiet all afternoon and she wished she had let him stay atthe ranch with Louie.

Realizing that she had failed to help a blind man was one thing.

Feeling the man she loved slip away from her was quite another. There must be something she could do that she hadn't yet tried. She glanced over hershoulder at Winn. The lamp on the corner of the wagon gave enough light forher to see that he was awake. Greg slept peacefully on his lap, his littlehands folded in Winn's large ones. Cynthie sighed. How many nights had shelain awake already trying to think of a solution?

Chapter Twelve.

Q^z^ps^Q Winn stood on the porch, his bare shoulder restingagainst the post. Being out here at night was becoming a habit. He had heard the clock chime once when he crossed the front room and once again amoment ago. Did that mean it had been half past twelve and was now oneo'clock, or one and now one-thirty? Either way, it was a long time beforesunrise.

He had been awakened by another nightmare. He should learn to go back tosleep after them but they always brought him so thoroughly awake that therewas no chance of sleeping. He would be tired tomorrow, and end up nappinglike little Greg.

What difference did it make? There wasn't anything he needed to do anyway.

Greg would take him along as he played. Peter or Louie might find a job forhim, just to keep him busy. Even Cynthie would try to keep him from gettingbored. No thing would go undone without him.

It seemed like a useless existence but perhaps no more so than his old lifehad been. He had a sudden picture of himself pushing cattle past Wichita year "s after year, never meeting Cynthie and Greg. Perhaps he would evenhave pa.s.sed close enough to see the ranch and never discover who lived there.

Would fate have been kind enough to allow him to meet her if he hadn't losthis sight? He pictured himself being sent into Wichita for supplies andb.u.mping into Cynthie at the store. Would she even have noticed him? Or would they each have pa.s.sed the other by and continued on their separate ways?

Winn found the vision more disturbing than his nightmares. Lately he hadbeen able to imagine going through life blind but found it impossible toimagine living without Cynthie. Yet she deserved more than he could offer. He remembered the school she had mentioned and tried to tell himself he could learn to be useful. Would Cynthie wait for him while he was gone? There wasn't much chance of that with Dempsey around.

Dempsey! Winn shifted his weight to his other leg and adjusted his shoulderon the post. Any thought of that man set him on edge. He thought again ofhis conversation with Greg. What could have happened on the ferry that madeFranklin afraid? Greg said his father was afraid of the ferry. Could Franklin have been afraid of Dempsey? Winn couldn't help but wonder if hewas just loo king for an excuse to discredit Dempsey.

Sounds inside the house told him someone was up. In a moment, the doorbehind him opened. He knew it was Cynthie but wasn't sure how he knew.

Her steps were different from Greg's, though tonight she was barefoot likeher son.

She came to stand beside him. He could smell her, could feel her beside him without touching her. He thought perhaps he could recognize herbreathing or his heart somehow knew the special rhythm of hers.

"I heard you come out," she said.

He had been outside for more than thirty minutes. Had she been awake that long?

A light breeze came to life, cooling the air around them and clattering thesh.e.l.ls. Cynthie wondered for a moment if she was ma king the right decision.She had stood by her window, knowing Winn had gone to the porch picturinghim there. She had been afraid for so long that he would leave but now itseemed she had lost him anyway. It was as if he had retreated inside himself and slammed the door. The futile punch at Kyle seemed to have taken the lastfight out of him.

She didn't know what to do. Should she comfort him, challenge him, declareher love for him? What would make him want to live?

Even as she had tried to decide what she should do, she had found herselfcoming to him. The longing in her heart had become too strong to deny.

Reason had told her she would only find heartbreak if he didn't return herlove, but she decided to ignore it. Experience told her she would only bedisappointed even if he did, but her yearning had outshouted that voice aswell.

Now she stood beside him, feeling the familiar skip of her heart and thequickening of her breath and knew she had been right to come.

"You come out here at night a lot, don't you?" she asked, finally.

"Quite a bit, I guess," he answered.

"Why?"

Winn smiled.

"I don't know. I can't sleep. It seems like day and night make less difference now."

"Do you still have the nightmares?" she asked, after a minute.

"Some."

"Do you want to talk about them?"

He thought about it for a moment. He imagined himself telling her the dream

he had just experienced standing here fully awake."Do you think that would help?"Cynthie took a deep breath."I don't know, Winn. But if it might, it's worth a try."Winn smiled. Was she worried about him or curious about his dreams?His mother had had a friend who thought dreams told the future.She laid her hand on his bare arm."Please, Winn, I want to help."Her touch was like a lightning bolt. She had no idea what she did to him or she wouldn't be out here alone with him.

"They're pretty bad," he warned, hoping she would run to the safety of her

room, praying she would not.