This is impossible. We can't go on running, she'd told herself over and over, but as she repeated the words she'd asked herself: But what's so impossible? What can't we run away from? But what's so impossible? What can't we run away from? Was this life going from one love hotel to the next really so impossible? Or was it the life she imagined after she lost Yuichi? Was this life going from one love hotel to the next really so impossible? Or was it the life she imagined after she lost Yuichi?

She had to do something. But she had no idea what else to do, other than leave this love hotel and search for the next one. As long as she kept on looking for the hotel, another day would pass.

Mitsuyo reluctantly pulled herself out of bed. "Yuichi," she said in the direction of the toilet. "It's about time we leave." No answer, just the sound of running water.

Yuichi was fastening his belt as he emerged from the bathroom and Mitsuyo passed him his socks. Last night she'd rinsed them with water and put them out to dry, but they still felt damp.

"You didn't sleep, did you?" Mitsuyo said as he tugged on the socks.

"No, I did," Yuichi said, shaking his head, but she noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

As she watched him put on his socks he said, apologetically, "I woke up a few times, but I think you're the one who didn't get much sleep, right?"

"No," Mitsuyo said, "I'm okay. We should park somewhere and take a nap," she went on, trying to disperse the heavy feeling that had taken hold of them.

They couldn't sleep well in the beds in hotels, but strangely enough they slept soundly for an hour or so when they parked their car beside the road, or in a parking lot.

As Yuichi got dressed, Mitsuyo casually opened the guest book on the table.

Here I am again with Takashi. This is the third time for us-By the way, this was our two-month anniversary so we went to see a movie in Hakata and stopped here on the way back. I really like it here-it's cheap, and clean. Oh, and I definitely recommend the chicken nuggets! They're probably frozen, but real crunchy!

Without really thinking about it, Mitsuyo continued to read through the girlish writing.

On the next page, in pink fluorescent pen she saw this: Today Akkun and I did the dirty deed for the first time in a month. Since April we've lived far away from each other, which makes me soooo sad. Boo hoo!

Beneath it there was a mangalike sketch of a guy, probably by the girl, and in the dialogue bubble over it, in a stronger hand-no doubt that of the man-were the words I'll never cheat on you! I'll never cheat on you!

Mitsuyo closed the guest book and placed it back on the table.

Just as they were leaving, Mitsuyo turned and looked back at the room. The down comforter had been straightened, but the white sheets underneath were wrinkled and tossed about, a sign of last's night's insomnia. Mitsuyo was struck by a sudden thought. Which was bigger-this bed or Yuichi's car? You can stretch out on the bed, but can't go anywhere. The car's more confining, but in it you can go anywhere you like.

Yuichi looked concerned-Mitsuyo was just standing there, spacing out. He tugged her arm.

They walked down the orange-carpeted hallway to the stairs, which were painted white. They put the key in the box at the front desk, and were heading for the half-underground parking lot when they saw a cleaning woman, broom in hand, staring at the license plate of Yuichi's car. Yuichi came to an abrupt halt and his heels squeaked on the floor. The cleaning woman glanced over in their direction. But she turned right back to his car.

Mitsuyo pulled Yuichi by the arm and ran toward the car. As if trying to sound them out about something, the cleaning woman said, "Excuse me-I wanted to-" but they ignored her and quickly got in the car. Yuichi got in first, and while she was waiting for him to unlock the passenger side, Mitsuyo was exposed to the woman's eyes.

She avoided looking at her, though, and was soon in the car and they took off. The plastic curtain at the parking lot's exit licked their windshield as they left, and once outside, the winter sunlight illuminated the car's interior. Until they left the hotel grounds, Mitsuyo could barely breathe. She knew that if she looked in the rearview mirror she'd see the cleaning woman, broom in hand, watching them go, but something, perhaps fear, kept her from glancing back.

"That woman saw it. Didn't she," she said. Yuichi didn't respond.

Once they were out on the main road, Mitsuyo finally worked up the courage to glance in the mirror. All she could see was a van following them. The cleaning woman, and the entrance to the hotel itself, had disappeared.

"She saw it, I know she did," she almost shouted.

"Our license plate ... She ... she saw the number," Yuichi said. Frightened, he stepped on the gas. The van behind them faded in the distance.

"What should we do? We can't go on like this.... We can't use this car anymore!"

"Yeah, I know ..." Yuichi said.

She had known this day would come. But as one day followed the next, and nothing happened, she'd begun to feel that they weren't running away so much as pursuing time. But while they made their way from one love hotel to another, reports about Yuichi were making their way down the web of connected highways and roads, down the interstate, crossing prefectural borders, traveling down prefectural and city roads.

"If we keep this car," Mitsuyo said, "they'll find us. We have to ditch it."

When he heard these words, Yuichi gulped.

Mitsuyo knew they couldn't escape. The only destination awaiting them was jail. She could try to convince herself otherwise, but that was the reality of it. Still, she couldn't say goodbye to Yuichi. Not yet.

"Let's ditch this car somewhere! If it's just the two of us, we can hide out." Mitsuyo was desperate to get away.

I've known Yuichi since grade school, about twenty years, and sometimes I can't figure out what's on his mind. Other guys say he's hard to approach, but I think they're reading too much into it. I don't think he's thinking anything. It's like he's a ball that's left lying on the playground for a couple of days. The kids play with it all day and then when it gets dark someone gives it a final kick and it rolls over by the horizontal bars. The next day someone else gives it a final kick and it comes to rest under a cherry tree.... This makes Yuichi sound pretty pathetic, but it never bothered him to be treated like that. He actually prefers it that way. When I suggest we go somewhere for a drive, or go do something, he's usually happy to oblige. He wouldn't do it if he didn't want to, right? I've never forced him to do things with me.

Not long after the murder, I actually went over to Yuichi's house. That evening I e-mailed him from a pachinko parlor and he said he'd drop by on the way home from work. We played the slots for a while, and then went to his house, where his grandmother made dinner for us.

Was he acting? I've thought about it a lot, but he seemed the same as always. Maybe he was really trying to act normal, but even though he'd killed somebody not too long before, he looked like the same old Yuichi. After dinner we went up to his room for a while, and he sprawled out on his bed like usual, and was reading car magazines.... He said, "If I didn't have a car I never could have gone anywhere." And I went, "Yeah, but what about trains or walking? People can go anywhere they want to." I laughed when I said this, but Yuichi didn't reply.... Somehow I can't forget those words now. If I didn't have a car, I never could have gone last New Year's anywhere If I didn't have a car, I never could have gone last New Year's anywhere. Or the look on his face.

Everybody knew how crazy Yuichi was about cars. Cars aren't my thing so I don't know the details, but somebody told me once that Yuichi's was tuned to professional specs, and come to think of it, his car was featured once in a specialty magazine, Car Car something or other. "This is a national magazine!" he said, excited for once, and he must have bought five copies to keep. It was just one of those black-and-white photo spreads at the back of the magazine, but it was a whole page and they showed Yuichi, looking kind of tense, standing next to his precious car. something or other. "This is a national magazine!" he said, excited for once, and he must have bought five copies to keep. It was just one of those black-and-white photo spreads at the back of the magazine, but it was a whole page and they showed Yuichi, looking kind of tense, standing next to his precious car.

Yeah, I remember now. This was around the time he fell for that massage-parlor girl. He said he gave her a copy of the magazine.

I really feel sorry for him about that whole thing. I was actually worried Yuichi might commit suicide back then. I'm not trying to justify him or anything. I mean, he was spending every day at a massage parlor, trying to pick up this girl who worked there. But there they were, sharing all their hopes for the future, and Yuichi decided to rent an apartment in the city for the two of them, and right when he did, the girl disappeared.

He didn't tell me anything at first, but one day out of the blue he said, "Hifumi, I'm going to move soon, so could you help me?"

Yuichi isn't the talkative type like me. So this was really unexpected. I asked him why he was moving and he said, "I'm going to live with a girl." I was astonished. I mean, with a girl in that kind of business, besides. I didn't pry any further, but I had a bad feeling about it. The week after that, I think it was, I helped him move. And right after that, the girl quit the massage parlor and vanished.

About a month later, I helped him move again. Yuichi told me all about the reasons for it without any prompting from me, and I couldn't believe it. He'd never discussed any of the details with the girl. When they were at the massage parlor, she'd just mentioned the type of life she'd like to live someday. Yuichi's always been that way. He's always leaped from point A to point D, imagining the intermediate steps, and never telling anyone what he had in mind. When she happened to tell him, "I'd love to quit this job and live in a small apartment with a guy like you," the first thing he did was go out and rent an apartment. Unbelievable.

The first three days of the new year were almost past, with none of the traditional soba, osechi ryori osechi ryori, or good-luck first visit to a shrine. Ever since she'd heard that the Hakata college student wasn't the killer, Satoko hadn't done any cooking, so Yoshio bought two maku-nouchi bentos maku-nouchi bentos for them at the take-out place in front of the station. for them at the take-out place in front of the station.

He made hot tea for them, and placed the bento bento in front of Satoko. As she listlessly separated the disposable chopsticks, she murmured, "So in front of Satoko. As she listlessly separated the disposable chopsticks, she murmured, "So bento bento shops are still open during New Year's...." shops are still open during New Year's...."

"Yeah, it was actually pretty crowded."

Satoko looked about to reply, but silently speared a boiled carrot instead.

Yoshio had yet to tell Satoko about seeing Yoshino in the pouring rain at Mitsuse Pass. He knew she'd believe him if he did, and would insist that he drive her there. But when he thought about going and the possibility that they might not see Yoshino again, he couldn't bring himself to explain what had happened.

He'd driven up to the pass three days in a row after that, hoping to catch another glimpse of his daughter. But that first day was the only time Yoshino appeared and called out to him. After that, no matter how much he waited, he neither saw her nor heard her voice. On the third day he visited, he was surprised to find one of Yoshino's co-workers there, a girl named Mako Adachi.

Mako said she'd come a number of times to lay flowers there for Yoshino. She took the local bus up to the pass and then walked along the back road to the site.

Yoshio gave Mako a ride back to Kurume station. In the car they hardly spoke, but she did tell him that she was quitting at the end of the year and moving back to her parents' home in Kumamoto. Yoshio asked her what she planned to do there.

"I don't know yet," she said. "I just don't feel comfortable in the city anymore." She told him how she once spotted Keigo Masuo in Tenjin after he was released. She didn't talk with him, of course, but just seeing him made her feel bitter. "That might be the reason I decided to go back home," she said. Yoshio asked her for Keigo's address and at first she said she didn't know it, but after a moment's hesitation, she told him the name of a well-known building right next to his condo, a place everyone knew.

The call from the police came just as Yoshio and Satoko were finishing their bento bentos. He was expecting to hear that they'd captured the suspect, but all he learned from the detective-the same one who'd visited him the other day-was that although they'd been sure the suspect had already fled Kyushu, his abandoned car had been found near Arita, in Saga.

Yoshio hung up and told his wife what he'd heard. Strangely enough, he felt nothing at the news. Satoko was silent and placed the lid back on her half-eaten bento bento.

Yoshio figured that that was the end of it, but Satoko suddenly murmured, "So the police are working even during the New Year's holidays." For a moment she sounded like the old Satoko, before Yoshino had died. She wasn't exactly smiling, but perhaps trying desperately to do so. "The police never give up, do they? They do their best even during New Year's," she murmured, her lips drawn back tightly, as if they were numb.

"Yeah, even during New Year's, so I'm sure they'll arrest the guy soon," Yoshio said.

"Arresting him won't bring back Yoshino," Satoko said, her expression gloomy again.

"The day after tomorrow I'm going to reopen the shop," Yoshio said, trying to change the subject.

"I'll believe that when I see it." Satoko smiled.

It was the first time she'd smiled since the murder. The smile was halfhearted, but he was proud of her for trying.

"Satoko, there's something I wanted to tell you...."

He was going to tell her about what took place at Mitsuse Pass, how Yoshino had apologized to him. He wanted to tell her about it, but somehow the words wouldn't come.

Satoko put the leftovers in the plastic bag they came in, and tied the ends tight, then tied them again. She did it so many times there finally wasn't enough slack left to tie it anymore. Yoshio took the bag from her and dumped it heavily in the kitchen wastebasket.

Satoko stared at the wastebasket and said, "Honey? ... I just don't get it. Why did that college student leave Yoshino up there at the pass?" She paused. "That's what I want to know," she went on. "When she called us and said she was going to Universal Studios, she mentioned his name...." Her gaze was still fixed on the wastebasket.

"Did she say she was going with him?" Yoshio asked.

"I don't know yet don't know yet was all she said, but she seemed happy. was all she said, but she seemed happy. I hope we can I hope we can, she said."

Yoshio didn't know what to say. Out there was a man who had murdered his daughter. And another who had stepped on her heart. His hatred should be aimed at the one who killed her, but all he could picture was Yoshino being literally kicked out of that car.

The next morning Yoshio drove to Hakata.

Holding her breath, Mitsuyo listened to the voices and footfalls of the young men outside. Yuichi was crouched down beside her, his arm around her shoulder.

The men had just arrived here by car a few minutes before. The moment Yuichi heard the sound of their engine coming up the narrow logging road, he grabbed Mitsuyo's hand and yanked her into the shack next to the lighthouse.

The lot where the men had parked was a little bit away and they heard the footsteps of three or four people getting closer. "This place gives me the creeps," they heard one say. "The last time I was here, the road was blocked off."

The door in the shack where Mitsuyo and Yuichi were hiding was made of frosted glass, and the lines of iron in the reinforced glass were sharply defined in the moonlight.

Before they knew it, the young men's voices and footsteps were right outside the door. The door suddenly banged as they roughly tried to pull it open.

"Is it open?"

"Nah, it's locked."

"Want to use a rock and break the glass?"

Shadows moved beyond the frosted glass. Mitsuyo inched closer to Yuichi and they clasped each other's numb hands.

"Don't do it. There's nothing inside anyway."

As he said this a large rock clunked down on the ground. Apparently one of them had actually picked up a rock.

Yuichi was crouching next to a large plastic bottle of water. It was almost ready to fall over.

"The road back that way's really dark, so you better watch out!"

One of the men-who'd apparently started to walk toward the lighthouse-was shouting, and then the shadows outside the door grew distant, kicking pebbles as they went.

Mitsuyo reached out and grabbed the bottle. Yuichi, thinking she was trying to hug him, pulled her closer to him, the bottle now in her hand.

The men were apparently heading toward the cliffs.

"It'd be cool to come here to see the first sunrise of the year," one of them said.

"But that's west, isn't it?"

"I wonder when was the last time they used this lighthouse."

"It isn't much fun here if it's just four guys."

Mitsuyo and Yuichi held their breath and listened.

Because of the cold, the men stood there only about a minute and then headed back to the shack.

Please, Mitsuyo prayed, please just go away please just go away.

Beyond the frosted glass they saw one shadow pass by, then a second, and a third. Right when they were waiting for the last one to pass, a fist pounded on the glass. Mitsuyo nearly cried out, burying her face in Yuichi's shoulder just in time.

The men stood there for a while, discussing where they should go next. An engine roared to life in the parking lot.

Mitsuyo tapped Yuichi's shoulder twice and, relieved, she nodded. The sound of the engine faded in the distance.

Yuichi stood up and carefully opened the door and peered out. Mitsuyo stood behind him, and when she looked outside, she saw the car winding its way down the logging road, its high beams lighting up the road ahead.

The winter sky was full of stars, and they could hear the waves crashing against the cliff nearby. The strong wind shook the little shack, bending the plywood boards nailed to the windows. Mitsuyo took a deep breath. She looked and saw the lighthouse, bathed in moonlight.

They'd abandoned their car a few days before in Arita. When Yuichi couldn't decide what to do, Mitsuyo said, "Let's go to a lighthouse." She knew they couldn't escape, but she couldn't suppress the desire for one more day, one more hour together.

"There's one lighthouse they don't use anymore," Yuichi murmured, finally bringing himself to get rid of his car.

Without a word, Yuichi took his sleeping bag out of the trunk, a red sleeping bag he apparently used when he went on long drives. They took a train, and then a bus, and finally arrived. Mitsuyo let Yuichi lead her by the hand; she had no idea where they got on the train, or where they were going.

They rode the bus along the seacoast and got off at a small fishing village where the lighthouse was. In front of the bus stop was a small convenience store and a tiny gas station, but other than that there were only twenty or thirty homes, with fishing nets hung out to dry in the gardens.