I had trouble breathing; the wolf brain longed to drop the stained dress still held tight in my teeth. It was bad enough having the jingling keys smacking against my chest as I ran, the twine digging into the fur around my neck.

But I refused to drop the dress. Not after I'd already destroyed so many of Dawn's clothes; this one needed saving. Instead, I snorted for air through my nostrils as, finally home, I came to a stop in the trees.

I smelled him then. My mate.

My human side was terrified by what this meant-it could be the killer trying to trick me again. Waiting behind the trees with another vial of liquid musk open at his feet, waiting to shoot me.

The wolf side, the dominant side, didn't care. My head snapped to attention. I strained to be sure. Some part of me just knew: This wasn't like Dalton's smell, and it also wasn't like the scent that had wafted off the puddle released by the killer's vial. This was the real thing.

My nose told me all: My mate was here. After my long, thrilling, and terrifying night, how I needed him. I had searched for him for far too long already. I had to know that he was all right, hold him close to me and nuzzle his neck.

With renewed focus, I darted through the trees, kicking up leaves and dirt as I ran. I sniffed the ground, ignoring other animal smells, following his.

And then there he was.

He was far away, deeper in the park and moving steadily. Thanks to the pale streetlights that managed to glow through the canopy, I could see clearly that my nose had been right: He wasn't a normal wolf. He was like me-half human, half wolf; tall and gangly, humanlike muscles covered with dark fur, his face elongated into some b.a.s.t.a.r.dized version of a real wolfs head.

I wanted him to smell me, to turn and run to me. But he kept moving. I could howl to catch his attention, but then I would drop the dress, and still my human brain refused to do so. So I followed, not worrying about being stealthy, bounding through the underbrush like a noisy, bulky, careless human.

He broke through the last line of trees before I did, loping out onto a suburban street toward a row of small houses. I didn't see which one he ran toward as I, too, reached the street, but the part of me that was still Emily Webb recognized where I was from my years driving through my small hometown.

I longed to follow the scent to my mate's comforting side. But exhaustion washed over me and I found I could no longer run. My head felt light, woozy.

Heart thudding against my transformed chest and my insides tightening, I knew my night was coming to an end. I had to get somewhere safe. Had to hide from eyes that would see me transform back to normal.

The run home was a blur, but soon I was standing outside the two-story home I'd known for years. Even though it was so terribly human, it smelled comforting to my lupine nostrils. This was where I belonged. Where I would be safe from men with guns, from men of shadow.

I wanted to leap up and through my bedroom window, but after the long run home from Seattle, I could no longer perform such feats. Instead, eyes drooping, I staggered into the backyard. There, in the back corner, was our old toolshed. Standing on my hind legs, I pulled the door open with my claws, then crawled inside.

No longer able to keep my eyes open, I collapsed to the rough wood floor, a rake and the lawn mower shadows above me. Spitting out the soggy, messy dress, I panted, my tongue lolling free from between my sharp teeth.

So tired that I felt it to my bones, I rested my wolfish head atop my long arms, and I slept.

The Vesper Company "Envisioning the brightest stars, to lead our way."

- Internal Doc.u.ment, Do Not Reproduce - Partial Transcript of the Interrogation of Branch B's Vesper l Part 4-Recorded Oct. 31, 2010 F. Savage (FS): So he had some sort of bottled pheromone he used to lure his victims. That would be one way to do it. But how he found you when- Vesper 1 (V1): When you couldn't do it? Maybe he just had better tipsters than you did.

FS: Emily, you understand that we tracked you and your fellow deviants down not to harm you. You were simply, ah, mistakes that needed to be contained until we could help you return to a normal life.

V1: So now I'm a mistake?

FS: No, it's not... Look, Emily, all I am saying is that our sources were not looking to bring you any harm.

V1: I know your sources, Mr. Savage. And I guarantee you that's exactly what they wanted.

[Silence.]

FS: I can sense you're feeling overwhelmed when it comes to the subject of the killer- V1: I'm not overwhelmed.

FS: -and so we can move on to other, more important subjects detailed in this past chapter.

V1: Like the shadowman?

FS: Er, yes, though I am sure you are aware they are actually- V1: If you can call me a deviant, then I can call them shadowmen.

FS: Fair enough. Then let us talk about your impressions of- [Loud thumping sounds, most likely from outside the room. m.u.f.fled shouting can be heard, also from outside the room.]

FS: Oh my.

V1: Okay, something is seriously going on out there.

FS: I-I will be right back. Stay here.

[Chains clang.]

V1: I'm not going anywhere.

[The door to the room can be heard to open and shut.

The m.u.f.fled thumping and shouting continues.]

V1: So I guess it's just me and me.

[Moment of silence, save for sounds outside the room.]

V1: Sounds like Mr. Savage and his friends have their hands full. Good.

[Silence.]

V1: I'm thinking of smashing this tape recorder. I am saying this out loud, because I'm going to resist that urge. I want you to know I thought about it but didn't do it. Instead I'm going to leave this recording intact, and I'm going to leave behind everything I wrote. So you won't forget. So you- [The door to the room can be heard to open and close once more. Outside noises have ceased.]

V1: What was that all about?

FS: Ah, yes, yes, it was nothing to concern yourself with. Just a slight situation. But we have it under control.

V1: You do? That's a relief. Sounded dangerous.

FS: Nothing to worry about. I, we, have nothing to worry about. We'll get back to the subject of the shadowmen later. For now, let's continue. It's getting late.

Chapter 14.

When Will It Be Me?

Gray, misty daylight slowly filtered through my eyelids. Groaning, I clenched my eyes tighter, mumbled something about needing five more minutes, and tried to roll over to get away from the morning sun.

Splinters sc.r.a.ped against my bare back and I yelped. I sat straight up, rubbing at my back and feeling little shards of wood stuck in my skin.

And I realized I was sitting in the middle of our tiny, dusty toolshed, completely naked.

Realizing something like that? Yeah, it'll wake you up right quick.

The night came back to me in a rush-drugging Megan, stealing her car, teasing an older guy at a club, being a total jerk to Jared, getting shot at, turning ...

Turning into a wolf.

Trembling from shock, and from the cold air seeping through the cracked-open door, I hugged myself, covering my bare chest. The car keys still dangled around my neck, the metal cold against my skin.

Part of me didn't want to move. Wanted to stay inside the toolshed, surrounded by yard tools that looked all blurry to me without my gla.s.ses-the lawnmower with bits of ground-up gra.s.s stuck to its side, the rake and the pruning shears, the nail gun and the saw hanging from the back wall. If anything, I was safest in here. Lots of weapons if the man from the night before came back, pulled his gun on me, tried to shoot me ...

And I wouldn't have to go outside, face the day as rational, emotional Daytime Emily, the only one of my apparent three personalities that ever had to frickin' deal with the actions of the other two.

But I was so cold, damp from early morning dew, and my back stung from where I'd lain against the plywood floor. I felt around until I found Dawn's sparkly blue dress.

I held it up and grimaced. Sequins had fallen free and it was wrinkled, stained with mud, and stiff with dried wolf-girl drool. Part of me wanted to cry. I'd tried so hard to keep the dress Nighttime Emily had stolen from Dawn safe. Lot of good that had done. But another part of me felt... pride, I suppose.

Because I'd changed into something monstrous, but I'd still kept part of me there. Kept in enough control to at least have some priorities. Which I couldn't say about myself when I was Nighttime Emily.

The ruined dress was disgusting, but it was all I had. I pulled it on, feeling like I might as well have put on nothing but a potato sack for how exposed I still felt without any underwear on. Reaching out an unsteady hand, I grabbed the top of the lawn mower and pulled myself to my feet.

The door to the shed opened with a creak, and I blinked, trying to get used to the daylight. Everything was blurry-if there was one thing I could actually keep from my transformation into Nighttime Emily, I wished it were her perfect vision.

Grimacing as I stepped onto sharp, wet blades of gra.s.s, I quietly made my way to the back door. I had no idea what time it was, but I could tell it was early. Maybe no one was up yet, no one had realized I was even gone. As willing as my dad was to let me more or less off the hook for my party shenanigans, I knew that even our Daddy/Leelee bond wouldn't keep him from completely exploding upon discovering that I'd done it again.

The back door was locked, and I realized that I'd stupidly only grabbed Megan's keys the night before. I hadn't even bothered to take my own house keys with me. Certain that I'd have to ring the doorbell to get inside and give myself up, I walked around the side of the house to the front door. Taking in a breath, I turned the k.n.o.b.

It was unlocked.

Exhaling slowly through my nose, I quietly opened the front door and crept inside the foyer. Shutting the door as silently as I could, I tiptoed toward the stairs.

That was when someone coughed.

Stiffening, I slowly turned to face the dining room table. Megan sat there in the same clothes I'd left her in the night before, half-moon shadows under her pale eyes as though she'd been up all night.

Her lip trembled and her nostrils flared at the sight of me. I didn't know what to say. "Hi," I whispered.

She shook her head slowly, her face flushing red. "You did something to me," she finally managed to bark out. "You stole my frickin' car, Emily. And all you say is 'Hi'?"

Fingers fidgeting with the hem of my dress, I looked askance toward the stairs.

"Please," I whispered. "I can explain everything. Just... did you tell them?

When everyone came home last night, did you tell them I'd left?"

Megan slapped her palms against the dining table. A little bowl of apples in the center bounced up and clattered back down.

"I didn't need to tell them anything," she snapped. "You had it all planned out. They probably saw my car was gone, a.s.sumed I had left, peeked in your room and saw someone they thought was you sleeping under the covers, then went to bed themselves. Pretty smart, Emily."

Standing up, she sent her chair screeching back against the bare wood floor. I gritted my teeth.

She was being way too loud.

Megan held out her hand. "Can I have my keys?" she said. "I've been up since three thirty waiting for you, since my brother called me, telling me that Jared told him you were out on the town, and that he wanted to make sure you got home okay. Sounds like you had a fun time out."

Fighting my trembling hands, I dug the keys out from under my dress and lifted the makeshift twine necklace over my head. Megan's eyes darted up and down as I dropped the keys in her palm, taking in my state of disrepair for the first time. For a moment, concern flashed over her face.

"Your dress," she said. "And you're barefoot.... What happened?"

I opened my mouth to answer, and she waved her hand. "Never mind,"

she said. "I don't care what you were doing with your new little popular friends, I don't want to hear about it. Just tell me where my car is parked.

I'm leaving."

My jaw hung slack as I struggled to find some way to explain. Giving up, I sighed and said, "Seattle."

"Excuse me?" Megan narrowed her eyes and leaned across the table. "Did you just say Seattle?"

"Yeah, uh ...," I stammered. "I sorta kinda left your car parked next to a club in Seattle near the Art Inst.i.tute. A place called Frenzy."

"You left-," she sputtered. "You took my car to Seattle? Why would you leave it there? How did you even get home?"

I crept around the table, hands raised. "Shh, shh," I said. "Please, please don't wake them up, okay? A lot happened to me, and I can explain everything. Let's just go upstairs, all right? We can take a cab to Seattle, get your car, maybe talk on the way."

Megan's face was red again, her jaw taut. She didn't say anything, so I backed away, then turned to head up the stairs to my room. She followed.

Safe in my room with Megan, I shut the door and let out a long breath.

Megan went to sit on my bed, the covers a mess.

I didn't know where to start. So, tugging at the bottom of my dress to make sure my privates were covered, I ran around the room gathering clothes and my gla.s.ses, then opened up a little green case I'd stuck next to my computer, inside of which sat several twenty-dollar bills. I had been saving up to buy my dad the complete Buffy the Vampire Slayer series set on DVD for Christmas. Regretfully, I plucked four of the twenties from the pile.

Clutching the clothes I had gathered to my chest, I handed the money to Megan.

"So we can get to Seattle by cab," I explained meekly. "And pay whatever I owe for where I parked the car."

Megan s.n.a.t.c.hed the money from my hands. She refused to say anything.

"Well," I said. "Um, I'm going to go take a shower really quick, and then I'll tell you what happened, okay? I didn't know that I'd lie to you about when I changed last night, I promise. It wasn't me who put the sleeping pills in your drink, it was Nighttime Emily, I swear."

Megan's mouth snapped open in shock. "So you did do something to me?

You drugged me with frickin' sleeping pills?"