"Fanny. . ."

"I don't want to hear an excuse. Since you aren't going to leave, I'll leave. I don't even know why I'm here. Ash and I are no longer married. Do you want your dog back?"

"Of course not. This isn't the time or the place to be talking about getting married. You know I want to many you more than anything in the world. You're reacting to Ash's accident. I think you should go home. There's nothing you can do here."

Fanny's back stiffened. "You had your chance, Simon." She gathered up the puppy, slipped her into the canvas bag. Her head high, her eyes smarting, Fanny entered the medical center. In the waiting room she announced her decision to leave as she gathered up her purse and jacket. Daisy whimpered inside the canvas bag.

Sunny's face registered outrage. "You're leaxdng not knowing how Dad is?"

"I believe that's what I said. I don't owe any of you an explanation, but out of courtesy, I'm going to give you one anyway. I'm tired. Actually, Vm extremely tired. I've been working around the clock for the past three months. I'll say a prayer that your father comes out of this whole. Good night."

"Fanny, wait!" John Noble called, Bess at his side.

"Is there news?" Fanny asked.

"Yes and no. I'm going to give you all an update and then I want every person in this room to go home. The good news," he said, addressing the twins, "is that your father's fall was partially broken by some rolls of insulation. The bad news is Ash has a fractured skull, internal injuries, and both legs are broken, as is his right shoulder. He's done some serious damage to several discs in his back. He's conscious, but in excruciating pain. His condition is critical. I don't have to tell any of you that everything humanly possible is being done. Now, go home. That's an order!"

Fanny started to walk away, Bess at her side. Out of the comer of her eye she saw Simon walk toward John Noble. Even a five-minute conversation would give her time to get to her car to head for the mountain. Once she was inside her fortress, Simon wouldn't be able to get in. She said so to Bess, as she ran to her car. "He told me no, Bess. He damn well told me no. Once a fool, always a fool. I'll call you. If you run into Simon, stall him so I can . . . get away."

"Fanny . . . I'm sure there's a reason . . ." Whatever else she was about to say was drowned out by the sound of the car's engine. She watched as Fanny floored the gas pedal to roar out of the parking lot.

The moment she drove around the comer, Fanny stopped the car to pick up Daisy to snuggle her inside the jacket. The litde dog's whimpers stopped immediately. In a choked voice she said, "You're supposed to be man's best friend. Being a modern woman, I expect the same friendship. It's just you and me, Daisy. No one knows this about me . . . well, maybe Simon knew, I have so much love in me, and I'm going to give it all to you. Hang on, little girl, we're going to bum some rubber."

Forty minutes later, Fanny roared past Chue's house, past the bend in the road, and up to the gate that was standing open, thanks to the remote control on her visor that she pressed the moment she approached the curve in the road. The low-slung sports car sailed through the open gates at the same speed Fanny used driving up the mountain. Fanny brought the car to a screeching halt at the back of the house. She ran, the puppy jostling inside her jacket. Inside, she removed her jacket, cradling the puppy in both hands. She talked to her then, crooning as she scrambled an egg and filled a water bowl. She soaked some cornflakes in warm milk, waited for them to soften before she mixed them with the egg. She set the puppy 472 Fern Michaels down on the floor and watched, mesmerized, as the little dog did her best to eat as both front paws vied with her tongue.

The phone shrilled. Fanny almost jumped out of her skin. From off in the distance, she could hear the loud sound of a horn. Simon. Soft-hearted Bess had probably lent him her car. The phone continued to shrill. Daisy skidded around as she tried to eat the strange food in front of her. In a frenzy, Fanny yanked at the phone wires. The two holes in the wall glared at her. The silence was reward enough. Daisy squatted and peed.

"Obviously, we need a system here. We'll work on that tomorrow. Right now, Fm going to make some coffee, and then we're going to snuggle together in one of those red chairs." The horn was still blowing as though someone was leaning on it. "Wear out your damn battery, see if I care."

At some point during the long night, it occurred to Fanny that if something happened to Ash, no one would be able to reach her. She squinted at the clock. Three-fifty-five. An hour and a half till the sun came up.

In her robe and slippers, Fanny scooped up Daisy and headed for the main house. She set her down by the back door and watched as she peed a puddle as large as a dinner plate. "Good girl. We're going to get along just fine if you keep doing that. Ah, you want to explore, is that it? Okay, but I have to tell you, it's been years since I walked around in the middle of the night. We have moonlight for your first stroll. That's a plus."

Fanny found herself smiling as the puppy leapfi-ogged ahead of her, turning ever' other second to see if she was following. "You're growling. A little thing like you knows how to growl! Remarkable." She saw the huge black shadow in the moonhght. A car by the gate. Simon of course, sleeping in his car. Or was he walking the perimeter, trying to get over the fence? He'd laughed the first time he saw it. She wondered if he was laughing now. She bent down to pick up the dog and entered the house by the back door. She looked to see if the red light was bhnking on the answering machine. No message-She made fresh coffee while Daisy walked around, sniffmg her new surroundings. Fanny looked at the clock again. Four-fifteen.

Everyone she knew was an early riser. Bess and John got up at five in the morning. Chue was up and doing things by five-ten, which probably meant he got up at four-thirty. Mazie was up at five also. In forty-five minutes she could start making phone calls. The first one to Bess, the second to Chue for dog food and to tell him to ask Simon to leave.

Once again she found herself a prisoner of her own making. A prisoner of her own love. It sounded like a prelude to some kind of torch song. She snorted at the idea.

Her life was changing in fi-ont of her eyes, changing even as she sipped at her cup of coffee. Her life had been so wonderful up until yesterday. After years of unhappiness, she had finally been happy. Now, that happiness was gone. She'd been rejected by both Thornton men. She cringed in shame. What was wrong with her?

Fanny bolted upright in the kitchen chair when she remembered that she had been the one to propose marriage to Ash. He'd accepted the proposal. Simon was just the reverse. Rejection felt the same, no matter how many times it happened. "As soon as you stick your neck out, Daisy, someone chops it off'." The littie dog tilted her head, her ears at attention. She pawed at Fanny's leg to be picked up. Fanny obUged her, cuddling her to her chest as she hummed a childhood lullaby. Daisy snuggled in the crook of her arm and was instantiy asleep.

Animals love unconditionally. Wk)f can't people do the same thing? No. Simon had said no in such an explosive voice there was no mistaking what he meant. Today could have been her wedding day. Could have. She continued to torment herself. She thought about the last fifteen years of Sallie's life that were filled with such bitterness, about Philip's bittersweet revenge on his wife. Somehow, someway. Ash would do the same thing to her. She knew it just as she knew her name was Fanny Logan Thornton. She'd been so sure it wouldn't h^pen to her, that's why she'd given in to Ash and gotten the divorce, so she would be fi^e. "Oh, Sallie, I wish you were here. I need to talk about this. How did you do it all those years? How did you live without Devin?" A tear dropped on Daisy's head.

Fanny looked at the clock. Five minutes past five. She dialed Bess's number. Her fiiend picked up the phone on the first ring. "It's Fanny. Is there any news on Ash? I wish you hadn't given Simon your car."

"I didn't give Simon my car. He borrowed Sage's. John got home at three o'clock. He's showering. Are you all right, Fanny?"

"Of course not. I feel like someone shced a chunk out of my heart. I'm up at the house. I ripped the phones out of the studio walls.

474 Fern Michaels Simon blew the horn for hours. Bess, the same thing that happened to Sallie is going to happen to me, I feel it.. ."

"Fanny, here's John. Don't hang up when you finish speaking with him."

"There's no change, Fanny. I have to be honest, it could go either way. We have him heavily sedated. There's no point in coming to the center. There's nothing you can do. I wish I had better news. Simon and your children are devastated. You need to be strong, Fanny."

"No she doesn't, John. She's not married to Ash anymore. Don't tell her something like that!" Bess could be heard in the background. "She's given up enough of her life to that man. I mean it, John, I don't want to hear you say things like that to Fanny."

"My spouse has spoken, Fanny. My apologies. She's right of course. You do whatever feels right to you. I know what you're thinking, Fanny. I saw it in your eyes last night. You are not Sallie Thornton. You are Fanny Thornton. No one can make you do anything you don't want to do. No one, Fanny. I'll call when I have something to report."

Bess was back on the Hne. "Don't mind John, Fanny. Where's Simon?" The words were asked in a half whisper.

"I think he's still outside by the gate. I don't want to talk about Simon."

"Do you want me to come up, Fanny?"

"No. I need to do some thinking, and I need to be alone to do that. You can do me a favor, though. Since I ripped the phones out of the studio I have to come up here to the house for messages. Keep checking with John and call me here, and I'll call you back. Ash isn't going to die. I'd feel something if he was. Thanks for being such a good friend, Bess."

"It's easy to be your friend, Fanny. Things will work out. Remember Sallie's famous words, God never gives you more than you can handle. Believe that, and you'll be okay."

"Mazie!" Fanny bellowed, after hanging up the phone. "I'm sorry, Mazie, I didn't mean to yell like that. Will you please fry up some hamburger and mix it with rice for my new friend here. Bring it down to the studio when it cools off. Make up a whole bowl so it lasts me a couple of days. Call Chue and ask him to get me some puppy food. Don't answer the phone. Let the machine take the messages. I think I'd like some stuffed peppers for dinner this evening."

"Come on, little lady, time to go home,*' Fanny said, putting the puppy down by the door. She watched 2is Daisy scurried outside, squatted, waited for approval, which Fanny gave happily. Together, they walked back to the studio.

From the front window of her studio, Fanny stared at the horizon that was as bleak as her life.

23.

Fanny entered the Thornton Medical Center, Billie Coleman at her side. It looked the same as it had thirty days ^o, when Ash had his accident. She glanced around at the filmed desert scenes on the walls, at the bluish gray, heavy-duty carpet and matching drapes. Something should have changed. "Take a deep breath, Fanny." Billie said. "You can do this. I'm here, 2ind Bess will be meeting us in the waiting room. I think we make a pretty united front. I forget, who are we trying to intimidate?" she asked in a light tone.

Fanny shrugged. Her shoulders straightened, her head went up a notch. Directiy in her line of vision was a portrait of Sallie Thornton, the medical center's benefactor. "I wonder if she knows what's going on. What would she do? Would she stand quiedy and listen to that gaggle of doctors or would she ask questions and make her own decisions? How would she handle the kids? BilHe ..."

"It's Simon you're worrying about He's respecting your wishes. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"It's what he wanted, BiUie. Would you feel any differendy if you had asked Admiral Kingsley to marry you and the word no exploded from his mouth?"

"Of course not, but I do think I would listen to why he said no."

"Perhaps. I needed to do it, to get married, right then and there. I'm lost now, BiUie. I'm chained to Ash all over again. I know it, you know it, the kids know it, the doctors know it. The whole damn world knows it. Who else is there to take care of him? You don't think for one minute the kids are going to put their hves on hold and do it, do you? Simon isn't going to do it. I don't see anyone standing in line to offer their sissistance. I'm the only one left. If Simon had 476 Fern Michaels agreed to marry me, I wouldn't be in this position. Fm Sallie all over again, and it's scaring me. I think I'm entitled to feel bitter."

"Of course you are," Billie said soothingly. "There are options, Fanny. We have a fine rehabilitation center in Austin. There must be one here that's associated with the hospital. We can look into it before we leave today. You don't have to make any kind of decision right now, Fanny. Thad always says you have to get all of your ducks in a row and then you make a decision. I think it's sound advice. Here comes Bess. We need to fix her up, she's starting to look dowdy."

"She's fi-azzled, Billie. I left it to her to deal with the business, Simon, and the kids during my thirty-day . . . hiatus. It wasn't fair. Bess has too much on her plate, too many irons in the fire. We could try, though. What do you suggest?"

"How about a pajama party. A httle wine, some good rich food, some high-spirited conversation, sharing secrets. A shopping expedition. Fanny, we're all free; we can do as we please. We earned this time in our lives. Just once, let's set aside commitment, responsibility, and do something for us. We can moan and groan about it later. Personally, I'd like to see all of us go away together for a week or so. Just us girls. I need to do some wound licking myself."

"I think the Coleman, slash, Thornton fsimilies are jinxed. Sallie saw it early on, why didn't we?"

"I guess because each of us has to find her own way. SaUie was a guide. It was up to us to decide if we wanted to follow her."

"Anything new, Bess?" Fanny asked. Bess did look frazzled.

"Simon's here. I don't think I've ever seen a more miserable human being. Your kids are picking up on it."

"Ask me if I care."

"They're rolling out the proverbial red carpet for you, Fanny. All those top-notch doctors Su Li recruited are waiting to talk to you in the doctors' lounge. John will be there too."

"They should be talking to Simon and the kids, not me. How did this happen?"

"I don't know," Bess said. "If I had to t2ike a guess, I'd say Ash got to the kids someway. He wants you."

"Doesn't anyone understand that we're divorce-d? Let's get this over with."

Nothing in the world could have prepared Fanny for the hostility on her children's faces, or for the misery she read in Simon's face. Her step faltered. Billie reached for one arm, Bess the other.

Vegas Rich 477 Introductions were made. Fanny nodded curtly, her eyes on the doctors. They took turns speaking. Fanny Hstened. When they were finished, Fanny let her gaze rake the room. "Let me be sure I understand what you've all just said. Mr. Thornton, my ^x-husband, refiises to go into a rehabilitation center for therapy. He thinks he will get better care from me, his ex-wife, in my home. Because there is plenty of room on the mountain, Mr. Thornton feels the therapists can 'live in' and give him twenty-four-hour care which will speed up his progress. It's my understanding that Mr. Thornton has a nine-room penthouse apartment here in town. It would seem to me that live-in therapists would have plenty of room in a nine-room penthouse apartment. It would also seem to me that this fine medical center should be more than willing to write off Mr. Thornton's medical bills. If they aren't, I'll have to take a hard look at the funding of this fine institution. What role do you see Mr. Thornton's brother and children playing in Mr. Thornton's recovery? Isn't anyone going to answer me? No. Well then, gentiemen, I think I've said all I have to say."

"Bravo," Billie Coleman whispered.

"That goes for me too," Bess whispered.

John Noble's voice was sharp when he said, "Bess . . ."

"Don't say it, John. You know my feelings. You sit on one side of the medical table, and I sit on the other. Don't make me choose up sides here."

Suddenly they were all talking at once-her children, the doctors, and Simon. Fanny's heart was shattering inside her chest. She looked down at the floor, certain she was going to see bloody pieces of her heart at her feet. She felt BilHe Coleman cringe at her nieces' and nephews' vitriolic words.

Birch spoke first "Dad will die. He'll give up. How can you refuse him? He was right about you, wasn't he. Mom? You are cold and heartless."

Fanny sucked in her breath. She would not cry, she absolutely would not. This was her oldest son, if only by a few minutes, speaking to her like this. She'd labored to bring him into the world, nurtured him, loved him as only a mother can love a son. She was about to speak when Sunny advanced a step and shouted. "Birch only saic the half of it. Dad knew you were fooling around with his brother. He never said anything because he hoped you'd come to your senses. He said everyone makes mistakes, and he was willing to forgive yours."

478 Fern Michaels Fanny could hear Simon's angry' voice beyond the diundering in her ears. She could feel Billie and Bess's fingers digging into her arms. Again, her step faltered, but her voice was strong when she said, "WTiat your father told you isn't true. I can forgive you, Sunny, and you, Birch, because you're my children, and I will love you no matter what. However, what you've said is unconscionable. Your father Hed to you. Doctors, I apologize for my children's rude be-hador and for my own as well."

Su Li moved then, as did her coUeagues-four of the finest doctors in the country-to stand next to Fanny. She spoke, her well-modulated voice circling the room. She addressed herself to the children. "Your mother spoke the truth. One should never speak in haste. Do not ask for my help again."

"Well, la-de-da, and whose family was it that pulled you 2uid your brother out of the gutter? WTiose family paid for your years of medical training? You and Chue have been on a gravy train from the time my grandmother took you out of the laundry. This is how you repay our family by siding with her!" Birch snarled.

Fanny shook off Bess and Billie's arms. She turned, walked back across the room to stand in front of her son. The sound of the slap Birch took high on his cheekbone bounced around the room. ''That I will never forgive."

"VVTiat the hell kind of family is this?" Simon bellowed.

'Tou tell me, Simon," Fanny shot back. "I rue the day I ever set eyes on your brother."

Outside in the heat of the day, Fanny doubled over. "I want to throw up and take a bath at the same time," she moaned. "My God, that was my family! Can we just go home?" Fanny said brokenly. "No, not home, someplace else. Someplace Sallie knew I would need someday."

"Fanny! Fanny, wait!"

"Go away, Simon. Go back to New York and take your brother with you or leave him here for his children to take care of. Just go."

"Fanny, please, you need to listen to me. I love you. You love me. We're destroying each other and for what?"

"For your brother. I told you this would happen. 1 knew it, that's why 1 asked you . . ."

"It wouldn't have changed anything, Fanny."

"It was important for me to believe that it would. Now I'll never know if it would have or not. I just want you to know something, Simon. I loved you more than I ever thought it was possible to love a man. You should have trusted me. You know your brother as well as I do. You should have been prepared for this."

"Fanny, I didn't mean I didn't want to marry you. I meant not that instant, not that day."

"Well, I needed to do it that instant, that day. Send me a Christmas card. Good-bye, Simon."

Fanny slid behind the wheel of the car, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"There were tears in his eyes," BiUie said.

"He really and truly loves you," Bess said.

"It doesn't matter," Fanny said. "Do either one of you think . . . Ash will. . . give up and . . . and die?"

"Do you really expect us to answer that, Fanny? You know what cynics we are."

"He wants that trust money. In his condition, he's still fighting me. Obviously there is nothing wrong with his head, even if it's fractured. He's insidious enough to go right down to . . . what do I want to say here, dying, his deathbed, and then when I capitulate, he'll make a miraculous recovery?"

"Where are we going, Fanny?" Billie asked.

"To a place no one knows about. A place Sallie gave me for just this reason. SaUie said I would need it someday. I think this is the someday she was talking about."

"What's it called, Fanny."

"It had a name once. The Sallie and Devin's house of happiness. Maybe someday I'll give it my own name. For now, it's a sanctuary. For us."

In a room filled with flowers, on the top floor of the Thornton Medical Center, Ash Thornton stared at his brother and his children. "She said no." His voice was a low whimper.

"That's what she said. Ash," Simon said. "I'm leaving here when I walk out of this building. Before I do that, I want you to tell your children you were . . . mistaken when you told them Fanny and I were having an affair while you were married. It's not true, and you know it isn't true. I would do anything humanly possible to aid in your recovery. The one thing I cannot do is force your ex-wife to take care of you. If you don't tell your children the truth, you and I are finished as brothers. You owe me, Ash, and it's time to pay up.

480 Fern Michaels You need to let it all go, Ash, and get on with your life. I'll help in any way I can."

"I don't want or need your help, Simon. If you say you didn't have an affair with my wife, that's good enough for me. I can't speak for the kids. Sunny, sweetie, see if you can cajole the charge nurse into giving me my pain pills a little early."

"Sure, Dad." Sunny turned to her Uncle Simon. "I'm willing to take your word for it. I was taught early on that Thorntons don't Ue."