Simon leaned over on his side, his chin propped in the palm of his hand. He stared at the woman next to him, the woman who had given him such happiness over the past month. He felt like crying. "I do understand, but, Fanny, I need something I can look forward to, something to hang on to."

"Oh, Simon, oh, Simon, you're looking at me the way Devin looked at your mother. Oh, Simon. Thank you, thank you." She was in his arms, smothering his face with kisses. "I do love you. So much I can't imagine my life without you in it. Be patient with me. We'll make it work."

"I don't think I could live without you," Simon whispered.

"Don't say that, Simon. Don't ever say that to me again. Promise me, swear to me you'll never say that. Devin said that to your mother and then he shot himself." Her voice was almost hysterical, her nails digging into the fleshy part of his upper arms.

"I swear, I promise. It's okay, shhh, it's all right. They were just words, Fanny. I would never take my own life. Not in a million years. Let's just lie here and compose a song about the two of us, a song we'U hire Dusty Springfield to sing for us the day we get married."

Fanny rolled over and laughed. The bad moment was over.

454 Fern Michaels Fanny walked through the door of Sunrise, aware of the silence that surrounded her. For the past month her ears had been full of strange sounds in a strange land. The silence that now engulfed her made her heart pound in her chest. She missed Simon. Her heart started to ache the moment he walked away from her, toward his plane. The only thing she wanted to do was to go inside, pick up the phone, and call him, but she couldn't do that for five more hours. Her shoulders slumping, Fanny shouldered her way inside to the shouts of, "Surprise! Surprise!" Stunned, she stared around at her family and friends. A huge banner stretched across the dining room arch read WELCOME HOME! A smile worked its way around the comers of her mouth. . , until she saw Ash shoulder his way through the small knot of people.

"Welcome home, Fanny! It's good to see you! You look gorgeous. Tired, but gorgeous."

"Ash! What are you doing here?" she managed to ask. Guilt set-ded over her like a shroud.

"The kids invited me. You won't beheve the time the five of us have had this past month. It was like opening up an umbrella, Fanny. We told each other all kinds of things. Everything just came out, we dealt with it, and now we're all good fiiends. We want to include you," he whispered.

The shroud of guilt tightened. "How nice." She wanted to run to the studio and lock the door. She pulled herself together, instead, and tried to smile. "Chue's bringing in the trunks."

"We'll talk later. Sunny made her peanut butter, jelly, banana, amd marshmallow sandwiches. Just a small welcome from aU of us to show you how much you mean to everyone. We all really did miss you. We tried calling Simon this week, but his office said he was on a business trip. Oh, well, his loss," Ash lauded.

"Boy, did I miss you, Mom. Tyler's coming any minute now. He's always late. Dad likes him, Mom. Dad spread the peanut butter on the bread. He was right at home in the kitchen. Mom, he turned over a new leaf, he's been so good," Sunny said brighdy.

Fanny fought the urge to slap her daughter's face. What was hap-f)ening here?

"How was it, Fanny?" Bess asked, hugging her.

"It was wonderful. Now, this. My God, Bess, what's been going on?"

"I tried to stop this little get-together but my excuses sounded lame, even to my own ears. It's my understanding, from your two daughters, that your husband, now that you're divorced, has seen the error of his ways, and is intent on courting you in the hopes of getting you to remarry him. Not one of them has a clue about Simon, Fanny, so be careful."

"This can't be happening. No. This is wrong. I won't allow this. I absolutely will not."

"Fanny, the kids . . . they want this. Be careful of what you say and how you say it. Kids can turn on you in the blink of an eye."

"It just might come to that, Bess. Thanks for warning me."

The shroud of guilt tightened another notch. Surely, God, in his infinite wisdom, wouldn't make her choose between her family and Simon. Or, would He?

Fanny steeled herself to get through the next hour, sickened at the way her children hovered over their father, patting him on the back. Sunny kissing Ash's cheek from time to time, Billie smiling tighdy. Their light, teasing banter, that didn't include her, brought an angry flush to her cheeks. She had to get through this. She would get through this. She almost yelped in sheer joy when Bess said, "Party's over, Fanny is dead on her feet. She needs to go to bed and get over her jet lag. C'mon, everyone, party's over. Gather up your presents and head down the mountain."

"Sure. Mom, how about if we all come up this weekend? We haven't had a picnic in a long time. Dad said he'll bring the ants. Is that funny or what?"

"I'll call you. Thanks for the party."

"Mom, what's wrong, you look . . . strange," Sunny said, v/rap-ping her mother in her arms.

Fanny stiffened. "What could possibly be wrong?" Look at me, do I look happy? Are you blind? Can't you see what this party with your father has done to me? Open your eyes and look at me.

"I guess you're just tired. Tomorrow you'll be fine. I'll call you."

Guess what, Sunriy, I won't be answering the phone. I take betrayal very seriously.

"Oh, Mom, I'm so happy. Things are going great between Tyler and me. And now we have a chance to be a real family again. Isn't it wonderful? Dad told me I had really good ideas about the casino and that he's looking forward to working with me. The twins are switching up too, Mom. We aren't leaving you in a bind or anything. Bess and Bilhe have it all under control."

456 Fern Michaels Fanny shook off her daughter's aims. She wanted to cry, to scream at her children. Don't you get it? He wants your inheritance! TTiafs what this is all about and you're buying into it.

"WTiat about you, BilHe?" Fanny asked her youngest daughter.

Billie hugged her mother. She whispered, "It's a crock. Mom. The two of them can't see it, but I can. I pretended for a little while to see which way it was going to go. Now I know. I'm sorry it had to be today on your first day home. Mom, don't answer the phone tomorrow or the day after, and scratch the picnic."

"Okay, honey. I'll call you and we'U talk, okay?"

"Take it easy, Mom." Fanny nodded.

"Thanks for the robe. Mom," Birch said.

"Yeah, me too. Mom," Sage said. He hugged her, whispering in her ear the same way Billie had done. "Sometimes the eye fools you, Mom. Seeing isn't always believing. If you're counting, the score is two, two."

"Good-bye everybody," Fanny said as she neady sidestepped Ash's outstretched arms.

"Good-bye, Mrs. Thornton," Tyler Ford called from the doorway, his ey^ puzzled at her cool behavior toward her family.

Fanny walked through the house toward the kitchen and out the back door, where she followed the path to her studio.

Her sanctuary.

She put on a pot of coffee to perk while she showered. Dressed in her old, tattered robe, she curled into one of the big red chairs, the clock on the table near her drafting table direcdy in her line of vision. She nibbled on crunchy pretzels she didn't want and drank cup after cup of strong black coffee. The hands on the Big Ben clock moved torturously slowly.

At ten o'clock eastern time, Feuiny picked up the phone to dial Simon's number. She started to cry the moment she heard his voice. "Simon . . . Simon . . . I. . . Oh, Simon . . ."

"Okay, we've established that I'm Simon. Take a deep breath, honey. Whatever it is, we'U make it right, hrtyou all right? I had a god-awful flight, turbulence all the way. My stomach is still heaving. You didn't answer my question, Fzuiny."

"I'm fine. I need to talk, Simon, and I need you to listen. Let me ramble on until I wind down, okay? I need to do this." Simon mumbled something unintelligible.

Fanny's words tumbled out so fast, Simon had a hard time following the runaway conversation. "Sage said if I was counting, the score was two, two. Do you believe this, Simon, because I can't. I know what Ash is doing. Obviously, Billie and Sage know also. He wants the money in the trust. That's what this is all about. I wanted to slap Sunny's face; I would have too, but Bess stopped me. Birch made me sick the way he fawned over his father. Do you hear how I sound, Simon? I'm so ashamed of these feelings. Maybe today was just the wrong day. It hit me in the face the minute I saw Ash. It went downhill after that. I don't know what to do."

"When you don't know what to do, the best course of action is to do nothing. You can ride this out. You've been through worse than diis. If you want, I can be on the next plane out of here and be there by morning."

"No, that isn't necessary. Talking to you has helped a lot. Who am I to demand my children ignore their father? They were so happy, Simon. I wish you could have seen Birch and Sunny. It was like someone gift-wrapped the moon and the stars for them. At some point, when things don't go his way. Ash is going to turn on them. I can feel it in every bone in my body. What happens then?"

"You'll be there for them, Fanny, the way you're always there for them. They're all grown-up now. They aren't little kids any longer."

"There aren't Band-Aids big enough to cover the wounds Ash is going to inflict. I feel like they're standing on a cliff, ready to go over, and I can't stop them. It's terrible to feel helpless. I don't expect you to understand, Simon, you aren't a mother."

"I'm not a mother or a father, but I understand. Whatever happens, Fanny, we'll deal with it. Please, don't torture yourself. Sometimes you just have to stand back and let life take care of life."

"I'm going to say good night, Simon. There are no words to tell you how much I love you."

"And I love you more. I'll call you tomorrow, Fanny. Sleep well."

"I don't plan on answering the phone tomorrow. I'll caU you after dinner."

"You can't hide or bury your head where this is concerned, Fanny."

"Just for a few days, Simon. Good night."

The following morning, as soon as the offices of Sunny's Togs opened, Fanny called Bess to leave a message for her children. "Write this down verbatim, Bess. There is no room in my schedule for a picnic this weekend. Furthermore, your father violated the agreement we had never to set foot on Sunrise property. I resent the liberties you took upon yourselves in bringing your father to the 458 Fern Michaels mountain. Please do not do it again. When I want you to come to Sunrise, I'll invite you. Until that time, please respect my privacy."

"This is pretty . . . harsh, Fanny. Are you sure you want me to give this to Sunny? I don't want you to regret it later on."

"I rather doubt that I will. Ash is setting them up to get control of their money. How can I tell them that? First of all, they wouldn't beheve me. They want to believe in their father, they need to believe in him, and Ash knows that. That doesn't mean /have to faD into line. WTiat kind of monster would throw his ex-wife into the pot? Sal-lie was right, Bess, your firstborn will break your heart. In the end I don't think it matters what order a child is bom in. Any one of them can break your heart. I have to get to work. Let's have lunch one day next week. Give my regards to John." She was trembling all over when she hung up the phone. She picked it up again, listened for the dial tone, then laid the receiver on the small table near her drafting table. The phone would be silent for the rest of the day.

Fanny walked out into the sunshine. Now that her head was a lit-de more clear she wanted to see what Chue had accomplished with the grounds, and to inspect the progress of the electric fence. Chue was weeding a lovely flower bed when she rounded the bend in the road.

"Oh, Chue, it's beautiful. SaUie would be so pleased. The grass is perfect. It's the first thing you see when you come up to the bend. It's a veritable rainbow."

"Thank you, Miss Fanny. The electric company is waiting for you to call them. The fence is fmished. The gates are open, you must decide on the combination. I will set the code. You will then enter by pressing a small appliance. I had them install a manual gate in case of an electrical failure. Even though we have a generator, one never knows. The small walk-through gate is hidden in the mountain shrubbery. I have two keys. Everything can be operadonal today if you call now."

Fanny stared at the fence. They'd done just as she instructed. Fourteen-foot iron spears embedded in a concrete base. "I hope no one is foolish enough to impale themselves on one of those spears. It does look . . . prisonlike, doesn't it? I'll call the electric company as soon as I go up to the house. Perhaps we should plant some vines, ivy or something, to take away that. . . institutional look. Whatever you think best, Chue. Only you and I will have the code. Not my children. If they ask, tell them to press the button to speak with me through the intercom. Under no circumstance are you to allow them to pass through the gate unless I tell you so. Does that make you uncomfortable?"

"No, Miss Fanny, it does not. What about Mr. Simon?"

"Just you and me, Chue. I don't care if the children bang and holler, blow their horn, whatever, do not open the gate."

"I understand, Miss Fanny. Thank you very much for the gifts. My family was most grateful. Did you know the yo-yo glows in the dark?"

"No, Chue, I didn't know that."

"My wife says she is going to tie it onto my big toe when I sleep because I am all over the bed."

Fanny laughed all the way back to the studio. She used the telephone to call the electric company, and gave her order. She broke the connection, listened for the dial tone before she laid the phone back on the Htde table.

A coffee cup in hand, Fanny sat downi at her drawing board. Three hours later she gave up in disgust, crunching designs into tight litde balls. She threw them, one by one, into the trash basket at her side.

Elbows on her drafting board, chin in her hands, Fanny contemplated the matters at hand. She realized what she was experiencing was^^ar. Fear that what had happened in Sedlie's life was now happening to her. How could their lives parallel each other like this? Was this SaUie's legacy to her?

What should she do? Call the telephone company and request a hookup and an unlisted number. She followed her own instructions and at three o'clock, a shiny new phone was installed in the studio, the old phone disconnected. That number would still ring in the main house, where messages would be recorded on an answering machine. There were no extensions to her new phone, the number was unhsted. She called Simon immediately to give him her new number. They talked for an hour. Finally, the conversation shifted to business.

"The Bemsteins are going to have something to show us in a few days," Simon said. "You'll need to give some thought to where you're going to get a baby to model the outfits. Do you know anyone or would you like me to call a professional modeling agency?"

"I was thinking of using Bess's newest grandchild. She's eight months old. She'll be perfect for the outfits. I'm going to stitch the model this afternoon. I have a meeting scheduled with Bess for tomorrow. Right now, I'd say we can get our first shipment out in time 460 Fern Michaels for Easter. Bess hired quite a few qualified people, to the kids' dismay, while we were away. She said everything is on schedule. Orders are starting to come in already, mostly from our Sunny's Togs customers. I miss you, Simon."

"Let's remedy that right now. I can come there or you could come here. If you come here, we can set up the meeting with Audrey and Mike here in the city. How about this weekend? Better yet, how about if you pack and leave this evening?"

"I'd love to, but I have some things I want to take care of I'll plan to leave on Friday unless something comes up. I'll call you this evening to say good night. Simon"-Her voice was suddenly shy- "I think about us all the time. You're in my thoughts every minute of the day. You're what's making this bearable."

"Fanny, I didn't know . . . that love . . . could be so all-consuming. I didn't exacdy think my life was going to be over when I approached the fifty-year mark, but I never expected it to change so drastically. You've made me feel young again. I thought those feelings were gone. Jesus, I love you. More than life itself. By the way, I took all sixteen rolls of film to be developed. I should have them by Friday. I'll console myself by staring at them."

"Wonderful. I can't wait to see them. Bye, darling."

Fanny felt all the built-up tenseness leave her body the moment she hung up the phone. Just talking to Simon made her feel good. She stared out the window over her drafting board. Daydreaming was a wonderful way to pass the time. She was frolicking with Simon on a sandy beach in Baja, California, in her daydream, when a thunderous-sounding staccato noise rocked the walls of the studio. Fanny gripped the edges of her drafting table, her eyes wide with panic. The noise sounded a second and then a third time and seemed to be coming from the panel near the door. The intercom. Someone was at the gate. She ran to the door to try and adjust the volume. She should have read the operator's manual. She thought she could make out the words, "Open the damn gates! WTiat the hell kind offence is this? All you need is rolled barbed wire on top! Jesus Christ!"

AshJ "Fanny, open the gate! Sunny is here with me. We want to talk with you. Honey, are you there? Chue says he can't open the gates."

"Mom, it's me, Sunny. Are you home?"

Fanny stared at the square white panel with the blinking lights. What to press? Maybe she should walk down to the gate and talk to her daughter and ex-husband. On the other hand, maybe she shouldn't. She walked back to her work area and dialed Bess's number. "Did you give Sunny and Birch my message?"

"Yes, I did, Fanny. At 9:00 a.m. when they both walked in. Neither one of them said a thing. Why?"

"Ash and Sunny are at the gate. I don't know how to work the panel. I guess I have to read the manual-1 could walk down to the gate, but I don't want to do that, either."

"You're the boss, Fanny. Don't do anything you don't want to do. The message was quite clear. Sometimes people have a hard time accepting unwanted news. I think that's the case. Or, maybe Ash is going to try and charm you again. Don't fall for it, Fanny."

"I won't. I'm going to hang up and read the manual. Want to know something, Bess? I feel safe and powerful. Those gates . , . I'm ^ad I did it. Ash said I should put rolled barbed wire across the top. Maybe I should do it. Just kidding. But I had told Ash not to come here anymore. I told him I would put the fence up. We're divorced. That gives him no rights. So, what does he do? He brings my daughter here, thinking because she's with him, I'll relent. If I don't relent, that makes me a bad guy in front of Sunny. I'm going to New York this weekend. If you need to reach me, call me at Simon's. No one needs to know where I'm going."

Fanny hung up the phone. The silence hammered at her ears. The tears she'd been fighting flowed to the surface, her clenched fists pounded her drafting board. She watched a Granny Smith apple teeter and sUde off the board. Whose idea was it to come to the mountain? Ash's of course. She knew this was Ash's first step in getting the children to turn on her, and she was playing right into his hands. "If he could, he'd suck the blood from my body," she muttered Fanny chjinged her shoes. Time for some fresh air and a nice long walk with a stop at the cemetery to calm herself once again. Key in hand, she headed for the walk-through gate. Outside the gate, a note was pinned to one of the cottonwoods. She pulled it off, her face registering disgust when she saw Ash's scrawled signature at the bottom. She whirled at the sound of Chue's soft voice.

"Mr. Ash was very, very angry. Miss Sunny cried. Mr. Ash asked for a nail to hang the note. I offered to dehver it to you, but he said no. Is there anything I can do, Miss Fanny?"

462 Fern Michaels "Actually, Chue, there is something you can do. It must be one more secret for you to keep. Are you amenable?"

"Most certainly."

"Are you aware of the small cottage in Arizona?"

The Chinese nodded. "Once, many years ago, Miss Sallie had me install some screen doors."

"Sallie deeded the house to me a little while before she died. The grounds are overgrown and I'm sure the inside needs a lot of work. It's been standing empty for over fifteen years. Do you think you and your sons could ... do whatever is needed to make it habitable? I'd like to keep everything just the way it is."

"I will take my sons tomorrow. I will need directions and an address." Fanny nodded. "I understand, Miss Fanny. You are thinking a fence such as this will be no deterrent to Mr. Ash."

"Something bad is going to happen, Chue. I'm not intuitive or psychic or anything like that. It's something I feel, not in my gut, but here in my heart," she said, putting her hand on her chest.

"Miss Sallie always listened to her heart. She told me this."

"The butterflies are beautiful. Why is beauty always followed by something ugly?"

"I do not know. Miss Fanny."

"The fence is very ugly. It's a shame, this is such a beautiful mountain. I feel like I'm desecrating it. I can't give Ash an inch. If I do, he'll trample me. I'm going for a long walk. Thank you, Chue, for everything, for being my friend, for being here. Just for being."

"All that I am, all that my children will be, is because of Miss Sallie and you." He bowed graciously. It had been years since he'd reverted to his Chinese ways.

To Fanny it was symbolic.