"I don't want an excuse, Sallie."

"What the hell do you want?"

I want you to run your fingers through my hair. Iwantyou to kiss me. I want you to whisper words in my ears, sweet words, words we both understarui. "What I want is for you to tell me what you did wrong. Telling is one thing, understanding what you did is something else. Ladies don't curse."

"I never said I was a damn lady. You insist on calling me one. I don't give a hoot about being a lady. Get that straight, My^Thornton. What I did wrong was promise you I would put my lessons aside. I broke that promise. It was wrong of me to do that. I thought . . . what I wanted to do was ... go forward so that . . . when we started our lessons again, I would be familiar with what you were. . . I wanted you to be proud of me. I like it when you tell me I do good ... well. I really am sorry. I won't do it again, Philip. I will never, ever, break a promise to you. To anyone."

Philip smiled wearily. "That's good enough."

"Then you'll stay?" The rehef Sallie felt was so overwhelming she grew feint.

"Can I believe this promise?"

"Yes, Phihp."

"Then if you don't mind, I think I'll hobble on home and go to bed."

'*You won't leave in the middle of the night, will you?"

"This is the middle of the night, SaUie. I promise you, I will not leave. You can trust my word."

Tears brimmed in Sallie's eyes. Not trusting herself to speak, she nodded. She watched as Chue offered his shoulder for the short walk back to Philip's cottage.

Upstairs in her room Sallie undressed for bed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She swiped at them with the sleeve of her nightgown. Her shoulders shaking, she walked over to the desk. Sallie stared down at her open book, at the pile of books and notebooks at the end of the desk. The cup of f)encils and pens glared at her like a sin-^e malevolent eye. Sniffling, she closed her book, placed it on top of the stack of books. She piled the notebooks and tablets next to them. The last thing she did was push her chair under the desk. She wouldn't sit on the chair or open any of the books until Philip said it was time to resume her lessons.

Sallie thought about Philip and how fond she'd grown of him in the nearly five months he'd worked with her. Sweet, gentle Philip, who always had a smile for her even when her work was less than perfect. How many times he would smile and say, "Let's try that s^ain, SaUie." Then he would smile ^ain and praise her and say, "Perhaps I didn't explain it clearly enough," or something to that effect. She'd repaid that kindness and gendeness by deliberately ignoring his instructions. He was right about needing a break from her lessons. He was right about everything.

She climbed into bed, but sleep did not come. Only thoughts of Phihp. Her heart thumped in her chest as she recalled how she felt when she heard Phihp say he was leaving. Was it possible she was falling in love with Phihp Thornton?

In the morning she put on a wool dress the color of ripe cranberries. She knew she looked fashionable with her matching shoes and purse. Phihp would compliment her-^he always complimented her when her hair looked particularly nice or she had on a new dress. Her wool coat was long with a ftir collar and cuffs and nipped in the middle to show off her tiny waist. In the lamplight the color of her coat took on the look of burnished copper. She stuffed soft leather gloves the same color as her coat into one of the deep pockets.

In the kitchen, Su Li was making coffee. Sallie could see flapjacks bubbling on the griddle. A pot of blackberry jam sat in the middle of the table next to a crock of butter that was the exact color of spring daffodils. The coffee smelled heavenly.

"I was going to make my own breakfast, Su Li. You have to get ready for the trip. I don't think Mr. Thornton will be going with us."

Sallie walked over to the window to stare at Philip's cottage. All the windows were dark. She felt like crying.

Sallie stared at her full plate, at the thick syrup Su Li was pouring over her flapjacks. Suddenly her appetite was gone.

"Missy eat," Su Li said sternly.

Sallie cut a portion of the stack of flapjacks, then cut them again the way Philip had instructed her. She forced herself to eat daintily, the way he had taught her. What was it he had said? Oh, yes, ladies always walk away from the table with room in their stomachs. "Not this lady," had been her response. She'd gone on to clarify the statement by saying she would never, ever, be hungry again. If that meant she wasn't a lady, so be it. She pushed her plate away.

"Leave the dishes for Anna, Su Li. Make sure you bundle up, it's cold this morning."

Su Li pointed to the thick quilted jacket next to her sack of belongings.

"I'm going to buy you a long coat so your legs don't get cold. Would you like that, Su Li?"

"Like very much, missy. Time to go."

"Yes, it's time to go." By moving her chair to the left, Sallie was able to see through the kitchen window. The view was the same as it was when she'd looked out earlier. No soft yellow light glowed in Philip's windows.

"Missy look pretty," Su Li said, as Sallie setded a fur-trimmed, copper-colored hat over her blond curls.

"Thank you, Su Li. I think I'm going to get you a red coat. With your dark hair you'll look gorgeous in red. A red hat, too." Su Li smiled widely.

Outside, Sallie blew litde puffs of air from her mouth. She burst out laughing as Su Li tried to imitate her.

"Climb in, Su Li. Use the lap robe over your legs. Ready?"

"Ready," Su Li said.

Sallie backed the car out of the bam. She switched on the headlights. Outlined in the piercing glow was Philip Thornton. He brandished a cane and shouted, "I hope you were planning on blowing that horn of yours. You know, I am a little incapacitated."

"Philip! How wonderful that you're coming. You are, aren't you?" Sallie said breathlessly.

"I promised, didn't I? I believe this trip was my idea to begin with. Of course I'm coming. May I say you ladies look particularly lovely this morning."

"You may say that." Sallie laughed. "Get in! We're going Christmas shopping! I never went Christmas shopping before."

Five minutes later Sallie took her eyes off the road for a moment to look across at Philip.

"PhiHp, I'm sor-"

"SaUie, I'm sor-"

Sallie thought she saw something strange in Philip's eyes, something she'd never seen before. Something wonderful, something she wanted to see more of A slow rising heat crawled up through her body as her gaze swept back to the road.

Philip leaned back against the leather seat. What was that scorching look he'd just seen in Sallie Coleman's eyes? Certainly not anger. He blinked when the word passion skittered through his mind. He coughed to cover his confusion. He knew he should be saying something, but for the first time in his life, words failed him.

SaUie smiled. Her world was right side up. She wanted to look at Philip again, wanted to see that strange look, wanted to know if it meant what she thought it meant. Instead, she focused on the road.

A lot could happen over the holidays.

1924.

PhiUp Thornton's voice was brisk, professional-sounding. "Date your paper with the new year at the top. Today is Monday, January 7, 1924." His voice was also chilly.

Sallie blinked at her teacher's tone. The tension was palpable. Had she done something wrong? What a silly thought. Philip had gone to town the day after Christmas and just returned late last evening. The last time she'd seen him was at dinner on Christmas day. The day he had kissed her under the misdetoe.

"There's no excuse for bad manners, Mister Thornton. You teU me that at least once a week. You could have told me you were going away. I realize you need time to yourself A note would have been sufficient. I can read, you know." Sallie lowered her eyes and commenced writing.

"You're absolutely right, there is no excuse for bad manners. I apologize."

"I think your apology might mean more if you made it sound like you meant it. As far as I'm concerned, you just said words with no meaning. Sorry is merely a word that many people use at their convenience. Aren't those your exact words. Mister Thornton?"

"Again, you are absolutely right. For now it's the best I can do."

"It's not good enough. You're supposed to set an example. If I were the teacher, I'd take away all your gold stars."

Philip blanched. "I want a short essay on the meaning of Christmas. I'm going to grade you on your penmanship and your punctuation as well as content. Be aware of your commas. When you finish go right into the new year, set down your aspirations and your goals for this year. I want five hundred words in the essay. Begin."

He saw her eyes fill with tears before she lowered her gaze to the paper in front of her. He knew he'd get an excellent paper worthy of perhaps two gold stars. She would have no need of him after the summer months. Six months more at this house, and then he'd be heading back to Boston.

Philip thought about his week in town, about the hours he'd spent in Sallie's bingo palace listening to her employees extol her virtues, listening to the wild, wicked stories the patrons insisted on repeating for his benefit. One night he heard seven different versions of how and why Sallie acquired her immense wealth, none of them pleasing to his ears. He'd wandered the streets in the cold that night until he finally stopped at the Red Ruby brothel. Everything was a blur after that. The only thing he knew for certain was he'd stayed at the Red Ruby for four days. Last night he'd had a nightmare about all the fleshy, big-breasted women who'd paraded into his room. He'd had them all. At least Red Ruby said he did when she demanded payment on his departure.

According to most of the town, Sallie Coleman was a whore. According to the people who really knew her, she was a lusty saint. And none of it was any of his goddamn business. In less than six months he'd be gone, and Sallie Coleman would be a memory. He wished he knew what she was thinking about him, right now. Was he just her teacher? Did she feel the same attraction he felt? That kiss under the misdetoe had been his undoing.

"I'd like to kiss you again, Sallie. Right now, this very minute," Philip blurted. He told her then about his visit to town and what had transpired, right down to how much he'd paid Red Ruby. "Are all those stories true, Sallie? If they are, it's all right v^dth me. I just want to know. I need to know. I'm falling in love with you. I don't know how you feel and I need to know that, too. I'm ready to marry you if you want me." Jesus God, had he just proposed marriage? By the look on Sallie's face, he had. His face and neck felt like a bonfire gone wild. He stood his ground, though, feet firmly planted, one leg and thigh smack against the desk because he felt weak in the knees.

Sallie stopped writing. Cotton's words roared in her ears. "My past or whatever you perceive to be my past, is mine," she told Philip. "You can believe whatever you want to believe. I will not deny anything you've said nor will I discuss it. I did not ask you anything about your past nor Vkdll I. I will say I am disappointed that you went to Red Ruby. Had you asked me, I would have recommended Beaunell Starr's establishment. Ruby robbed you." She paused for a moment, then blundered on. "I don't think I'm in love with you, but I like you very much. What happens if we do get married and I never fall in love with you? What if we aren't compatible ... in bed? Did you think about that?"

"The girls at Red Ruby's didn't have any complaints," Philip said.

"They get paid not to complain," Sallie said sweedy. "I need to think on the matter overnight."

"You're making it sound like a business arrangement. I just asked you to marry me. It was a yes or no question."

"Philip Thornton, you told me nothing is black or white. You said there are always shadings of gray, and a person needs to make decisions based on facts. This is the same thing. Isn't it?"

"This is a matter of the heart. Emotions. It isn't a business deal. Do you care for me enough to marry me and bear my children?"

"I don't know. I have to think about it. You're complicating my life, Philip. Marriage to anyone was not something I planned on. I do want to marry someday and have children. Someday isn't right now. Do you still want to kiss me? If you do, I'm willing."

"Finish your paper, Sallie."

"You're upset, aren't you? Look at it this way, Philip. What kind of person would I be if I was less than honest with you? The kiss under the misdetoe was very nice. I dreamed about it. I hesitate to ask this, Phihp, but ask I must. In my paper for my aspirations and goals, should I mention your proposal and what I feel?"

"Do whatever feels right for you. I've never censored anything of yours. I might make a suggestion, but that's as far as I will go. You're eating into your time by talking, SaUie."

"You didn't say there was a time limit."

"There's always a time limit. Don't make me use my green pen-cH."

"You're not indispensable, Phihp Thornton," Sallie snarled.

"Neither are you, SaUie Coleman. Write! And don't bother to give me an answer in the morning. I don't want to hear it."

"Touche, Phihp. I am writing. As for my answer, it would have been no anyway. You're my danm teacher. Act like one instead of pouting like a httle boy."

Phihp stared at Salhe's bent head, at the golden curls tumbling about her ears. He wanted nothing more than to hold her, to smooth back the curls and whisper in her ear. He looked away, but it didn't help.

Philip banged his fist on the desk. Sallie raised her head to stare at him. "You want a damn teacher? You got yourself the best damn teacher there is. Hand in your paper. Now!" he roared, his voice carrying all the way into the hall and down the stairs.

SaUie slapped her unfinished paper into Phihp's hand. A second later she was off her seat and at his desk, reaching for the green pencil. "Here, let me hand it to you. Make no mistake. Mister Thornton, this is the last green mark you'll ever give me. I was wrong to cadi you a htde boy. You're a jackass!"

"And you're a whore!" Philip shot back. He wanted to bite off his tongue the moment the words came out of his mouth. He was so distraught he didn't see Sallie leave her seat and stomp from the room.

How could he have said such cruel, degrading things? The urge to cry was so strong he was forced to knuckle his eyes. With his eyes squeezed shut he missed Sallie's return.

"Mr. Thornton, I'm ready to resume our lessons if you are. I'd like to think that both of us are mature enough to allow us to get past this . . . this awkward time. Why don't I leave the room again and return, and we'll start over. We'll pretend it's seven o'clock in the morning. We'll agree not to mention our respective outbursts. Do you agree?" Philip nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Sallie left the room and returned moments later to take her seat. She stared up at Philip expectandy.

Philip handed Sallie her papers. "Thirty minutes, Sallie."

The January incident, as Sallie thought of it, was never mentioned again, but the damage was done. Philip insisted on eating in the kitchen, doing his ovm laundry, and taking care of his quarters. Sallie, in turn, worked harder than ever, oftentimes getting by on as lit-de as three hours' sleep. She waited for words of approval, for gold stars, encouraging words, none of which were forthcoming.

Weeks and months crawled by. Before Sallie knew it, it was early June, almost summer.

On a bright sunny morning, Philip handed Sallie a bound booklet. "This is your final examination, Sallie. It will take you all day today and all day tomorrow to finish it. I'll grade the exam tomorrow evening. On Wednesday I'll leave for Boston. I'm placing you on your honor for this examination. I'll be going to town to make my travel arrangements. I know you're going to do well, but I'm going to say good luck anyway. Remember to take your recess breaks."

The knot in Sallie's throat prevented speech. She nodded, her eyes miserable.

"There's no time limit on this examination, Sallie. You have all day. Take your time, think about the question, and try not to wear down your eraser. I'll see you tomorrow evening. If there are any messages at the telegraph office, I'll bring them with me." Sallie nodded again.

The moment the door closed behind Philip, Sallie burst into tears. She raced to the window to watch Philip cross the yard to his cottage. He was really going back to Boston on Wednesday. These past months she'd refused to think about this time, preferring to imagine that Philip would always be with her, teaching her forever. Now he was giving her a final examination. He would then walk out of her life and return to Boston, where all the ladies had unsullied reputations.

Sallie cried as she watched Philip greet Chue before he climbed into the car. These past five months had taken a toll on her both physically and mentally. She'd worked hard to make sure she didn't get a single green mark. If what Philip said was true, she now had the equivalent of a high school education.

The test booklet on the center of the desk seemed to glare at her. She hated the thought of opening it and didn't know why. WTiat would Philip do if she failed the test? If she deliberately failed, would he stay on? Would he assume responsibility? Would he think he was a failure as a teacher?

A short twenty minute camap might help, she decided. Since there was no time limit to the test SaUie convinced herself that she would feel better, more refreshed after a brief nap. She didn't disturb the booklet on her desk as she left her seat. Maybe she wouldn't take the damn test at all.

Sallie flopped down on her bed and closed her eyes. She fell asleep immediately and didn't wake until the middle of the afternoon.

Refi-eshed, Sallie opened the booklet, read the instructions, and then closed the book. She squeezed her eyes shut, not understanding the strange feelings rushing through her. She felt like she could do anything she wanted to do. She'd never felt so alert. She knew her adrenaline was flowing at an all-time high. She opened the booklet again, her pencil poised.

Four hours later SaUie closed the booklet. She didn't check her work-there was no need. She'd known all the answers. Thank God for all the notes she'd taken during the year. Early on, Philip had said, "The faintest pen is better than the sharpest memory." Of course, she hadn't understood the meaning at the time. Now she did.

She looked up to see Su Li standing in the doorway. "I'm finished, Su U."

"Test much hard, missy?"

'*'ery difficult. Mr. Thornton didn't go easy on me at all. I think I answered all of the questions correcdy. I wouldn't be surprised at all to find the second half of the test even more difficult."

Su Li watched as Sallie walked to the fi-ont of the room to place her test on Philip Thornton's desk. She turned to see Su Li holding out a tall glass with ugly-looking dark liquid in it.

"Missy drink and then go to bed. I put cloths on eyes and massage neck and head."

Too tired to argue, Sallie did as instructed.

The crisp white curtains were billowing into the room when Sal-he woke the next morning. She stretched luxuriously, taking a moment to discover how she felt. She felt wonderful, ravenous. She had a second exam to tackle. She tiptoed into the bathroom, and gasjDcd when she saw herself reflected in the mirror. There was a sparkle in her eyes and a faint pink glow to her cheeks.

"Su Li," she caUed.

Su Li appeared at her elbow a moment later. "Missy very much hungry?"

"Very much hungry, yes. A big breakfast. Flapjacks, eggs, bacon, toast, jam with lots of butter. A big glass of apple cider and a huge cup of coffee with lots of cream. I'll be down as soon as I take my bath."