"Pop, are you serious?"

"Yes. Heard she's got some new girls fresh from New York. Of course we won't mention this to your mother."

"'Course not," Ash said, his face beet red.

"I think we should wait until it gets dark, don't you?" Philip said.

"Hell, yes, Pop. What if someone sees us?"

"That's what going to Red Ruby's is all about. Sneaking in and sneaking out."

"You've done this before." It wasn't a question but a statement. His father shrugged.

Ash had his ace in the hole now. His father would sign his enlistment papers and he'd get to fuck his brains out for a whole night. How lucky could one guy get?

Father and son crept into the house like thieves in the night. "It was a night and a day to remember, wasn't it, Son?"

"It sure was, Pop. I don't think I shoulda had that last drink. You smell!"

"You don't exacdy smell like your mother's flower garden yourself"

Philip wrapped his right arm around his son's shoulder.

"Listen, Pop, let's go in the kitchen and make some coffee. I want to talk to you about something important."

"Sure, Son. How about some eggs while we're at it."

"Great. I'm not doing dishes, though."

"That's why we have a housekeeper."

"Simon dries the dishes for Tulee. He takes out the trash for her, too. He carries the laundry up and down the steps."

"Why didn't you ever do it. Ash?"

"For the same reason we don't have to do the dishes. We pay a housekeeper to do it."

"Simon does it because Tulee is getting old. Simon saw your mother help Tulee one day and he stepped in and took over. Your mother doesn't want to pension Tulee off, and she doesn't want to offend her by hiring a younger person to help out. She's very loyal to her employees. She's never forgotten her humble beginnings. If you'd give your mother a chance, you could learn a lot from her, Ash."

"She never gave me a chance, Pop. I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have my views, you have yours, and Mom has hers. I want to enlist, Pop. Monday morning I'm going to join up. I have to get out of here. I don't want to go to college. I'm never going to be a doctor or a scientist. I want you to sign the papers. If you do, I can be out of here before Mom and Simon get back from Sunrise."

Philip's hands started to shake as he measured coffee into the wire basket. "Ash, ask me to do anything but that. How can I send . . . sign . . . your mother . . . Christ Almighty, son, I can't do that."

"Then I'll take off and enhst somewhere else. Pop, look at me. I want to do this. No, that's not right, I need to do this. I need to get away from Mom and Simon. I need to see what I'm made of Haven't I always done what you asked of me? Well, now, I'm asking you for something. Please, sign the papers."

"Ash . . . your mother. . . God, what if something happens to you? My life would be over."

Ash stared at his father, his jaw dropping. "Pop, don't say something like that. You might. . . grieve for a while, but your life would go on. You have Mom and . . . Simon will be around. Jesus, don't go jinxing me now." He watched his father carefully, his stomach in knots as he waited.

Philip cleared his throat. "Son, if this is what you really and truly want, I'll sign the paper and take the consequences when your mother gets home. I want your promise to write faithfully and to call if you can. Will you promise. Ash?"

"You got it. Pop. Thanks. I'll make sure you never regret this. I'll make you proud of me. I swear to God I will."

"Just come back in one piece. Ash. You hate taking orders. How are you going to handle it when your superior officer tells you to do something?"

"I don't know. I'll let you know when it happens. I'm going to be just fine, so don't worry about me."

There was such jubilation in Ash's voice that Philip could only stare at his son. "Tell me something. Has life here been so unbearable that you can't wait to get away from me . . . us?"

"Not you. Pop. Them. I wouldn't say unbearable, but it certainly hasn't been pleasant. I've contemplated taking off in the middle of the night and leaving a note behind. Then I realized I couldn't do 110 Fern Michaels that to jou. I couldn't have asked for a better father. Fm going to miss you, Pop." His voice was sly, his eyes v^ary as he v^aited for his father's reaction. When it came it was exacdy what he expected and wanted.

"Fm going to miss you, too. You've been a wonderful son. I knew the day you were bom you were going to be someone special."

"Fll make you proud, Pop. Thanks for taking me to Red Ruby's. It was a hell of an experience."

"It's always an experience. Don't get the idea I'm a regular customer. Fm not."

"Ruby told me Mom has style. She said she's one classy lady."

"It's true," Philip said. "I've never heard one person in this town say a negative word about your mother. She's done a lot for this town. Hell, she owns the town. I know she shps Red money from time to time. Anonymously, but Red knows where it comes from. There was a time when Red and your mother . . . well, they didn't like each other."

"Do you have regrets, Pop?"

"Not anymore. I loved your mother very much in the beginning. Things change. I'm still very proud of her. .A.re you aware that she can speak French, German, and Chinese? She taught herself when she was pregnant with you and Simon. I know a smattering of French, but your mother can speak the language like a native. She has an ear for it the same way she has an ear for music."

Ash felt like crying. He could feel his arms and legs start to tremble. He knew his father was on the verge of tears, too. "Well, I think it's time for me to hit the sheets. Thanks, Pop, for everything. By the way, the papers are under the flowers on the dining room table."

Philip nodded. "Fll clean up so Tulee doesn't have to do it when she wakes up. Fll be up in a few minutes." He waited to see if his son would offer to help. When Ash walked out of the kitchen, Philip drew a deep breath, his heart pounding in his chest at what he'd just agreed to do.

He .sat down at the table, his thoughts whirling. A second cup of coffee was called for. He drank it and made a second pot. He found himself looking around the kitchen. He rarely came in here. When had it changed? It was so homey, so cozy. He cringed as he realized Sallie, not Tulee, was responsible. The curtains on the multipane windows were red-checkered gingham with red tassels on the hems, and matched cushions on the wooden chairs. Litde red clay pots full of herbs sat on all the windowsills. Lustrous plants in copper pots hung from the beams, their leaves emerald green and shiny. He wondered who watered and trimmed them. On the floor, a huge braided rug lay beneath the table and chairs. Gleaming copper cookware hung from pegs next to the green plants. He noticed the fresh flowers in the middle of the table. He knew they came from the greenhouse Sal-lie had built so Chue could tend the seedlings that he later transported to Sunrise. The house was always fiill of fresh flowers.

But it was the huge fieldstone fireplace and the two rocking chairs that drew his attention. The rocking chairs that SaUie insisted on buying, even though her mother would never get to rock in them. For years they had been in the sunroom at Sunrise, a reminder to Sallie of what might have been. Then one day they were gone, and now he knew why.

Philip sat down in one of the rocking chairs, his shoulders shaking. He cried for the would-haves, the could-haves, and the should-haves. What would happen once Ash left? Would Sallie boot him out? Would Simon align himself with his mother? Absolutely the boy would stand by his mother. Not for the first time, Philip compared his two sons. Simon was so like him it was scary. He'd seen his intelligence at the age of four when the boy wanted to learn. Sallie had begged him to help Simon and he'd refused, saying the boy needed the school system. Sallie took it for the slap in the face it was and hired an outside teacher for the child. Simon surpassed his brother early on and skipped two grades. He was shy, loved to read, and wrote poetry that brought tears to Philip's eyes. Poetry for his mother. And what had he done? He'd tolerated the boy because he had to. Ash was his priority. Ash had to be the best, but he wasn't the best. Philip knew it; so did Ash and Sallie. It was Simon who won the honors; it was Simon who could always be counted on; Simon who helped Tulee; Simon who stood by his mother's side. Not Ash. Ash was personable, glib, popular, a good athlete. He was also handsome, well dressed, dashing-all the things Philip never was. Ash was also a liar, a manipulator, and a cheat. Sallie had pointed out his bad traits and in no uncertain terms had told Philip to keep his hands off Simon. Tougo right ahead and ruin your son, but keep your hands off my son. He wished he were able to turn the clock backwards so he could do things diflerendy.

PhiHp got up fi-om the rocking chair. He cleaned the kitchen, picked a dead leaf off one of the herbs, brought it to his nose. Mint. His mother used to grow mint in her garden.

Then he got angry. He left the house, surprised to find that it was 112 Fern Michaels still dark. WTiere he was going it didn't matter if it was light or dark, Red kept the draperies pulled all day and night. Red had become a good friend oer the years. He didn't use her serices, even though he paid for them. He sat in the dining room and talked to her, sometimes for an entire night. In the morning she always made him breakfast, and if he wasn't talked out, he'd stay on for lunch or dinner. Red had a good ear, she always knew the right thing to say at the right time. .nd, he knew for a fact, she never discussed his is-its with anyone else. Red Ruby's was a safe haven.

He wished he knew why he let his son believe he participated m the action at Red's. To impress the boy, he supposed.

He checked his pockets for cash. With Red you paid for her girls the minute you walked through the door. Because he was a kind, generous man, he paid for talking, too. After all, Red had a living to make like everyone else.

Tonight he had a lot of talking to do.

"When will you be back, Miss Sallie?"

"In a few weeks. Sometimes, Chue, I can close my eyes and actually believe I'm here. The feeling holds me over until it's time to get in the car to make the trip. Do you miss Su Li?"

"Sometimes. M she does is talk, talk, talk. A man needs quiet."

"Do you regret not going on to college, Chue? It's never too late you know."

"I have no regrets. I love working with my hands. This is what I do best. I can never thank you enough for all you've done for Su Li and all our relatives. The new greenhouse is beautiful. Sometimes I sit out there at night and watch my seeds grow. I see them poke through the soil. It's a wonderful feeling." He turned shy suddenly, his head bowed. "I will marry soon. My bride arrives in ten days. I wanted to tell you sooner, but Su Li didn't call until last evening to tell me the arrangements have been finalized. Do you see a problem. Miss Sallie?"

"Hell no! It's about time, Chue. We'll convert the cottage. We'll put in a modern kitchen, a modern bath with a big tub. Ladies like to take baths."

"It is not necessary, Miss Sallie. My new bride will think my room is a palace as I do. I don't want her to think I'm rich."

Sallie smiled as she wagged her finger under Chue's nose. "Not. when I get hold of her. You forget, Su Li taught me Chinese. I will make her into an American in no time at ail. You want her to dress like us, don't you?"

"I would like that very much. Thank you."

"It is my pleasure. I love doing things for you and Su Li. Both of you have made me so proud. Well, I have to be on my way."

"Say I said hello to Mr. Simon. I miss him even if he does trample my flowers. He does not have a gende hand with the seedlings. He is like a bull in a china shop."

"I'll tell him you said that." Sallie could hear Chue's laughter as it followed her down the hill.

It was four o'clock on Wednesday afternoon when Sallie walked into the house in town. "I'm home, Tulee? Simon! Ash! Philip! Vm home." W^here was everyone?

"No one home, Miss Sallie," Tulee said quietly. "No one home many days."

"Where did they go? Did they leave a note?" Tulee shook her head. Sallie shrugged. "All right, if they get back, tell them I'm home. I have to go out again. Have dinner ready for six o'clock. Make something really sweet for dessert."

"Su Li come for supper. She call on telly phone."

"Oh, good. I'll be back soon,"

When Sallie returned, Su Li was waiting for her, but Sallie's family was still absent. "This is very strange-we always leave notes, Tulee said they've been gone many days. Do you think something happened?" Sallie asked anxiously.

"Of course not. Tulee gets her times mixed up. I looked for notes, but yours was the only one I could find."

"Let me see that. I didn't write this! This is Simon's prindng! He wasn't v/ith me. Why would he do this?" Sallie raced through the rooms and up the steps, Su Li behind her. Simon's room was first. "I don't have to look through his things, Su Li. He's gone. The family picture of all of us is gone. He would take that. His suitcase is gone. I shouldn't have forced the college issue. Maybe he's with Ash. That's probably the stupidest thought I've ever said in my life." She was babbling tearfully, her heart thundering in her chest, as she moved to Ash's room.

"Ash is gone, too." Her eye fell on the family picture on Ash's desk. Ash would never take the picture. He didn't have a sentimental bone in his body. His shaving gear, his football trophy, and his bankbook were gone, the important things in his life. "I know where they went, Su Li, and I am going to kill Philip with my bare hands."

114 Ferh Michaels "Where, Miss Sallie?" Su Li asked.

"They ran off and enlisted. Philip must have signed the papers for them. My God, Su Li, Simon is only sixteen years old. How could he do this to me?"

"Hush, you don't know any such thing. Maybe they just went away for a few days. Let's go into your room and see if they left you a note. That's where they would leave it, not in their rooms. You go to your room, and I'll check Mr. Thornton's room. How will I know what's missing?"

"I'll check his room myself." A moment later she said, "He didn't go with them. I know everything he has and nothing appears to be missing except him. I don't believe this. Nothing's here, no note, no letter. Nodiing."

'Tes, there is something." Su Li handed Simon's note to Sallie. "Simon would never leave without telling you, and this is the place he put his letter. Under your pillow."

A long time later, when there were no more tears, Sallie stood, her eyes cold and hard. "I need to fmd Philip. Do you have any idea where he might be, Su Li?"

"I can go out and look for him."

"I think I . . . Let me make a phone call first." Sallie picked up the phone, waited for the operator, and quiedy said, "2456."

"Red, this is Sallie Thornton. If Phihp is there, would you please tell him to come home. It's a family emergency. If he isn't there and you see him, give him the message."

"I'll send him home, Sallie."

"He's at Red Ruby's, Su Li." Suddenly she was so tired she could barely stand.

The moment Philip Thornton walked through the door, Sallie said, "I need you to explain why you allowed our sons to join up. Don't deny it, Philip. Oh, hell, what's the use? It's done. I cannot, I will not, forgive this, Philip."

"Sallie, are you saying Simon . . . ?"

"Don't play me for a fool, Philip. Are you saying you didn't know . . . ?"

"That's exacdy what I'm saying. I did sign the papers for Ash. I'd do it again, Sallie. I know nothing about Simon."

Sallie held up her hand. "Do not talk to me, Philip. I'm too upset and I don't want either one of us to say things we'll regret. We cannot undo this."

Philip's shoulders sagged as he walked out of the room.

Su Li walked with Sallie upstairs to her room. "My mother was wrong, Su Li. I was wrong. I thought it was my firstborn who would break my heart, so I took steps to prevent that from happening. It's the second son that breaks your heart. How could I know that? I thought I was safe, immune. I know now how my mother felt. How could I have been so wrong? What did I do to deserve this? Did this happen to me because I don't love Phihp? Am I being punished?"

"No, Miss Sallie. Your sons will be fine, I feel it here," Su Li said, thumping her chest. "We Chinese know these things. Beheve me. You're weary, sleep."

"You're a wonderful friend, Su Li. I should tell you that more often. Is what you said, true?"

"Yes. Nothing will happen to your sons. I would feel something and I feel only lighthearted. That means they will be all right."

"That sounds like bunk to me," Sallie muttered.

"That's because it is bunk. I've already forgotten the old ways. You made me into an American. Seriously, Miss Sallie, both your sons will be fme. I believe it, and you need to believe it. We'll talk in the morning."

Sallie was already asleep, tears on her lashes.

Su Li setded herself for the long evening ahead.

The following morning Sallie did something she'd never done in the whole of her married life-she cleaned house. Wearing one of Tulee's shapeless housedresses, her hair bound around her head with a clean rag, she plunged into the work at hand. She lined up her cleaning supplies neady in the haUway before she entered Ash's room. In her hand were three flour sacks. Willy-nilly, she dumped his belongings into the sacks and dragged them out to the hall. She didn't waste a second staring at his mementos or fingering his possessions. When she finished, she dragged the sacks to the stairway and kicked them down the stairs. Later she would have Philip carry them to the basement.

Her next chore was to rip the curtains and draperies from the windows. The bedding was her enemy as she pulled and tugged. The bundle went over the hallway banister to land in the foyer. She scrubbed, then polished. When she was finished with the hand 116 Fern Michaels sweeper, she backed out of the room and pulled the door shut. If she had had a key, she would have locked the door.

At the top of the steps she called to Tulee. "Bring me a cup of coffee, please," she said, sitting down on the top step. She sat like an urchin, her legs apart, her scrub dress mcked between her legs as she wiped at the sweat dripping down her face. "And a cigarette. Bring the whole pack along with an ashtray."

SaUie was on her third cigarette and second cup of coffee when the doorbell at the foot of the steps peeled once, twice, three times. She made no move to go down the steps to answer it. Through a cloud of smoke she watched Tulee open the door.

"Devin Rollins to see Mrs. Thornton," she called.

"I'm up here, Mr. Rollins," Sallie said as she blew a perfect smoke ring. "I thought you were going to call first. That is what you said, isn't it?"