Snow knocked her hand away from his face. "And then I killed them."

"No, you did not kill them. The demon that lives within you killed them, not you. I believe you are strong enough to master it and reclaim your life if only you would fight," she whispered gently, the belief in her words touching him even when he tried to deny it.

His strength faded again and his shoulders sagged, and he could no longer resist looking down at her. He needed to see her unwavering faith shining in her eyes, and her affection for him, tenderness he had come to crave.

"I have fought hard for so many years," he said in a tight voice, aching at the thought of everything he had endured and weak from his battle against his bloodlust tonight.

Aurora shook her head, the raven waves of her hair swaying with the motion, caressing shoulders that he wanted to kiss. He wanted to lose himself in her and forget everything he had done, even when he knew that wouldn't change anything. He couldn't go back now that he had remembered the full run of events that had happened that night. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.

"No, you have always sought death, ever since that night." She held his gaze and touched his cheek, softly stroking it, soothing his anger before it could rise again. "You don't think it that way, but it has always been like it. I have watched millions of lives play out in this world and many of them chose the easy way out."

Aurora cupped his cheeks and stared deep into his eyes, tears rising into hers as her eyebrows furrowed and he sensed a hint of her pain through her touch.

"Death is often so much easier than life. Life is difficult... life is a constant struggle... especially when the span of your life is as infinite as ours. Death is simple and easy. In death, you do not need to live with your sins or bear the pain that beats within your heart," she said, her voice growing tighter with each word and tears balancing on her long dark lashes, on the brink of tumbling onto her pale cheeks. He wanted to capture them with his thumbs before they could fall. He didn't want her to cry because of him. He didn't deserve those tears. She sniffed and stroked his cheek. "I know your pain, Snow, and how it makes you suffer... and I know the release death would grant you is temptation incarnate... but it is not the solution. Sometimes the right path is the difficult and treacherous one, the hard one. Do not succumb to the lure of the easy one, for it will not give you the peace you seek."

Snow didn't bother to deny her words. He was too tired from his fight and she was speaking the truth. Ever since that night, part of him had been aching to die, had wanted Antoine to end his life to spare him so he didn't have to suffer. She was right.

He wanted to take a coward's way out.

Rather than mastering his bloodlust, he had given in to the darkness and let it master him.

It had controlled him for so long now that he wasn't sure he had the strength to overcome it or that he had anything left to offer this world.

He felt so weary and hollow, as though he needed to sleep for eternity and only then would he have the energy to go on.

Aurora's hand was warm against his face, erasing the chill from his heart and some of his fatigue, gifting him with the strength to keep standing.

He wished it could give him the strength to keep fighting.

He wasn't sure that was possible.

"I know your thoughts, Snow, and I will do all that I can for you. I will give you a reason to fight, and I am only sorry it took me so long to find the courage to appear before you again." Her eyes searched his and her dark eyebrows furrowed. "I feel I could have averted this if I had only come to you."

Snow raised his hand and covered hers, holding it against his cheek and savouring the sense of connection it awakened in him. "You are here now, and that is enough for me."

He hoped it really was enough. The flicker of fear that crossed Aurora's eyes made him frown. Not just fear. He could sense other emotions in her too. Hope mingled with guilt. Fear with belief. Sorrow with happiness.

He had suffered his darkest bout of bloodlust yet and she had come to him, and her wings had turned completely black. She constantly pressed him to fight, and something told him it wasn't just because she didn't want him to die.

"Why are you really here, Aurora?" It came out harder than he had meant and she glanced away. "I will not be angry with you... but I need to know why. It isn't just because you felt me suffering, is it?"

She shook her head and closed her eyes, and her shoulders sagged. "I did come to you when I felt you suffering, and... you have to understand, everything would have been alright if I hadn't given you my blood."

Snow reeled at that. Antoine had been right and she had committed a sin by giving her blood to him.

"What does your master want you to do?" he snarled, knowing the bastard was behind this, forcing Aurora to do something she clearly didn't want to. "Does he want you to kill me?"

She shook her head again. "I am to watch you and then judge you."

"Judge me how?" The watching part didn't bother him. She had watched him all of his life as far as he knew. He didn't like the sound of the judging part though, and the tears beginning to line Aurora's long dark lashes said she didn't like it either.

"If I can prove you are no longer a threat to humankind, you will be given another chance. If I cannot-" She cut herself off and turned away from him, her shoulders tensing and her pain flowing over him, strong enough that he could sense the depth of the emotions colliding within her.

She didn't want him to die.

She was desperate for him to prove himself worthy of another chance, no longer a danger to this world, and was doing everything in her power to gather the evidence she needed. He had been going against her all this time, proving himself quite the opposite.

"It is ironic that I may have found a reason to live when my time to die has come," Snow mused, more to himself than to her.

Aurora whirled to face him, a scowl darkening her beauty. "Do not think that way!"

She grasped his arms and her fingertips pressed in, tightly clutching him through his thin sweater. He could feel her trembling and it wasn't from cold. He had upset her again by still thinking about death when she was valiantly fighting to give him life.

"You need only prove that you are able to redeem yourself given time. We still have two days in which we can do that. I believe in you, Snow."

He didn't believe in himself, but he was glad that she did.

He had wanted death for so long now that he wasn't sure he knew what it meant to live. Her words haunted him, tumbling together in his mind.

Antoine wanted him to live and be free of his bloodlust, able to control it and keep it at bay. Everyone at Vampirerotique had become like family to him, and he loved to see them change and grow, and enjoyed the time they spent with him, talking to him about their lives and the things they had done, and their plans.

What was it like to make plans?

He couldn't remember.

Snow looked at Aurora, at her beautiful hopeful expression, seeing the tenderness in her eyes that she showed only to him. She was fighting so hard for him. She wanted him to live.

She wanted to live with him.

Hell, he ached for that too. He yearned for the feel of her tucked in his arms each day, warm and soft, sleeping close to him. He longed to hear her laugh and watch her with the others at Vampirerotique. He wanted to walk through life with her at his side, proud that she was his, that he had a female who desired him.

Belonged to him.

His first plan in centuries and it all felt so impossible to achieve.

He stared down into her eyes and his strength left him again, the weight of witnessing his past and the slaughter of his family pressing down on him until he could barely focus. His head swam, the bitter cold stripping away his body heat and leaving him weak and shivering.

He wanted to see his plan come to fruition and wanted Aurora to know about it so she would no longer look at him with despair in her beautiful eyes. He wanted to give her hope, but he couldn't find his voice. It took all of his remaining strength to keep standing.

"Snow?" Aurora stroked his cheek, her expression veering towards concern. "You need to rest."

He nodded wearily, fighting to keep himself upright as his bloodlust began to rise again, threatening to overwhelm him in his weakened state. He fought it, not for his sake but for Aurora's. She wanted him to prove himself able to exist in this world without committing another atrocity.

He was beginning to want that too.

She wrapped her slender arms around him and pressed her lips against his, softly kissing him. Warmth cascaded through him, chasing back the cold stealing into his veins and restoring some of his strength. When she drew back, they were at the base of the mountain near the dark pine forest. A small cabin stood nestled amongst the towering snow-laden trees.

Aurora led him towards the wooden building.

She wanted him to live.

He wanted to live too, with her.

CHAPTER 16.

Snow prowled around the small dark cabin. A vampire on a mission.

Aurora stood by the door, exactly where he had ordered she remain, and used her perfect night vision to watch him, amused by his very masculine display.

He was checking every inch of the cabin, scouting for danger. His senses would have mapped everything the moment he had set foot in the two room building, but it seemed he wouldn't be satisfied until he had seen with his own eyes that the only threat to them in this place was the frigid cold.

Arctic winds howled through the trees outside and battered the wooden cabin, icy fingers creeping through any gap they could find to clutch at her.

She should have kept her wings out, using them as a barrier around her, but she had wanted them gone. They reminded her of why she was here and she knew the sight of them pained Snow, making him remember the things he had done and that many of her feathers had turned black because of him.

Snow disappeared through the door opposite her, into the other room. There was a bang, a growl, and a muttered curse, and then he reappeared looking too triumphant for a male who had clearly just had a fight with a drawer or possibly a cupboard. He rattled a small box, produced something from within it, and then there was light.

The expression of sheer masculine pride that filled his warmly lit face made her think of a caveman just discovering fire.

He puffed his broad chest out and grinned. Aurora barely resisted her urge to cross the room and pat him on the head as a reward.

She also resisted pointing out that there was a box of matches on the mantelpiece on the wall to her right too, and those had been easy to spot during her first quick glance around the dark room.

"May I move now?" she said with a smile and he frowned, evidently not amused by her tone, or was it the fact that she wasn't preening his feathers for him by saying how charmed she was by his ability to find matches?

Me man. Man make fire.

The man in question tossed her a dirty look, skulked across the room and hunkered down in front of the empty fireplace. He huffed and cast a glance around. There was no wood and if he wanted to be all manly and go back out into the storm to find some, she wasn't going to argue.

And she might actually fake a swoon for him this time.

It was a touch chilly outside. Her bare feet were numb and her fingers were still like icicles. She feared they would snap if she tried to bend them, even though she knew that they were only cold and that she was immune to the true effects of exposure to freezing temperatures.

Snow rose to his full impressive height and stomped across the room to her.

"Stay put." He cut off her protest about his behaviour with a brief, hard kiss that melted her vocal cords and left her nodding dumbly.

The door opened, allowing an icy blast of air to assault her, and then closed again. Aurora rubbed her arms and decided to search the pitch-black room for blankets while Snow tackled the firewood.

The room was sparse, with one rickety wooden chair near the fire, a few wonky shelves in a nook near the door, and one tall cupboard on her left, standing against the wall opposite the fireplace. Her perfect night vision allowed her to see it all as if the fire was already alight. She opened the door and found layers of furs.

Snow cursed outside and barged the door open, letting in another wave of wind that carried white icy flakes across the threshold.

He didn't chastise her for moving. She took some of the furs and laid them down near the fireplace, keeping one in her arms. They would have to do as blankets and she was sure they would be warm. The cabin was basic, the sort of place that had been built to give refuge to anyone caught in a storm.

She felt as though she was caught in a storm herself as she watched Snow.

He crossed the room to her, his arms full of wood, his gaze intent on her and his body shifting sensually with each step. Her heart picked up pace, beating hard against her breast, trying to break free and get to him.

A smile tugged at the corner of his lips, telling her that he had heard her pulse begin to race and could sense her desire.

He dropped the wood beside the fireplace, crouched and moved some of it onto the grate, and set about lighting it, completing her caveman image of him. He flinched when he struck a match, the light a bright flare in the darkness, and his eyes switched from their true state that allowed him night vision almost as perfect as hers was. His pupils expanded, returning to circles, and the red in his irises quickly faded back to blue.

He seemed better now than he had been at the lake, more in control of himself.

Was having a task to focus on giving him some respite from his bloodlust?

She should have anticipated that taking him to his family's mansion would trigger an episode. It had terrified her when he had clawed at himself, his blunt nails only scoring his black jumper. He had wanted to harm himself.

She had put him through incredible pain tonight and she only hoped that it had some positive effect on him, and he would fight now and desire to live again.

Guilt rode her mercilessly, never letting up, filling her head with a notion that haunted her. If she had simply told Snow why she was here in the first place, would it have had the same effect as forcing him to see that he had never truly fought his bloodlust and the hold it had on him?

He had taken it surprisingly well, but then he had been tired, drained by everything he had experienced when reliving his nightmarish past. He probably hadn't had the energy to lash out at her. He had looked on the verge of collapse at several points, the most recent just before she had decided to bring him here and give him some peace.

Did he hate her for what she had done to him? If he did, then she deserved it. She had been cruel to him and she was beginning to feel she was doing all of this out of some selfish need she had rather than for his benefit.

He didn't want to live.

Was it cruel of her to want to make him live even when he wanted to die?

Snow finished with the fire and looked over his shoulder at her. She hugged one of the furs to her chest, needing the warmth and the soft feel of it. It comforted her.

A frown marred his handsome face, his beautiful blue eyes intense but also laced with fatigue.

He looked lost again, bearing a heart filled with pain and darkness, and a head full of melancholy thoughts. She didn't want to take him back to the theatre yet, even when she knew that she should because Antoine would discover Snow was gone sooner rather than later. His younger brother would be frantic.

She was still feeling a little selfish though and she wanted some time alone with Snow, because she felt that if she spent these two remaining days with him that she would find a way to save him from death. There had to be a way.

"What is it like when the bloodlust takes you?" It was a dangerous question to ask and she feared it would strengthen the hold his affliction had on him and drive him into a rage, but she wanted to understand what he experienced.

She needed to know, because it might offer her valuable insight into his problem and possibly even a way of helping him master it.

Snow frowned and swallowed hard, and red ringed his irises. "I feel caged. When I... back then, two centuries ago... I felt there was nothing I could do to stop myself. I could only watch myself do those things, powerless and pathetic. It destroys part of me every time it takes me, Aurora."

He stared across the room at her, his voice thick with emotion and eyes glittering with pain.

Her heart went out to him again and she stepped closer, driven by a need to comfort him.

He was powerful and a warrior, a strong male, and she knew he hated to feel weak. His bloodlust made him feel trapped in his own body, aware of everything he was doing but unable to control himself. Aurora ached for him, wanting more than ever to find a way to free him from its grip.