"That's hard to believe since you all live together." And they sure knew what they were doing.

"Things happen, darlin'. Have you visited other stations to offer up your body? I doubt that. Things just happen," he repeated.

There was a long stretch of country road before they hit their end of the city. Aaron pulled the truck over to the gravel shoulder and put it into park. She instinctively looked around the area from behind the windshield and side windows. "Why are we stopping?" Green fields rolled all the way to the horizon in one direction, the wind gently caressing the long blades while the irregular peaks of buildings towered in the distance the other way.

He shifted in his seat, one leg propped up slightly. Aaron's fire-r.e.t.a.r.dant pants and coat creaked as he moved. His blue eyes narrowed as he a.s.sessed her. "I just want you to know that I respect you. I don't regret what we did earlier, but I don't want to give you the illusion I'm looking for anything serious."

Her heart clenched and her throat suddenly felt dry. She'd never expected anything from them, but hearing it from Aaron's own lips made her feel smaller than the b.u.t.ton she fiddled with on her sweater. "Of course not. Why would you?" These men were far above her league, but a woman could dream. She felt foolish for giving herself over so easily. But she was thirty-six and had lived a mundane life. It was her prerogative if she wanted to add a little spice to her days. If only she could turn off that intense desire for commitment and the world-renowned happily ever after. Maybe there wasn't a real man alive seeking the same thing.

"I'm not meant to settle down. It's just not in me. But if I did, it would be with a woman just like you." He smirked in that adorable way that got her heart pumping. But anything between them was futile, so no sense getting her hopes up now. He'd laid it all out in black and white.

"Comforting," she said sarcastically. "Shouldn't we get back to the station? I should be preparing for my article."

"We have time." There was a dark look in his eyes, a challenging, flirty quality. Did he expect her to f.u.c.k him again right in the cab of the truck? After what he'd just told her? As much as she should be offended and fuming, she was highly aroused. Her p.u.s.s.y was still slightly raw from the earlier punishment. She wiggled slightly in her seat, needing friction when Aaron made her feel so wanton. Just a look from him was enough to send her into hormonal overdrive.

"I'm not interested in a casual affair."

He ignored her, licking his full lips. "I've been dreaming of tasting your sweet little p.u.s.s.y."

The air in her lungs left in a rush. She was helpless to resist this man in the firefighter's uniform with the dirty-blond hair and eyes bluer than ocean waves. He must sense something in her, too, because he leaned closer, not responding to her refusal.

"Aaron..."

"It's just you and me now, baby girl. No prying eyes, no need for sharing." Tammy did enjoy the sharing part, though. It had been t.i.tillating, something new and forbidden she was tempted to try again. But the hopeless romantic in her wanted to convince each of her men to love her, as impossible as it seemed.

He shrugged off his heavy jacket and pulled his suspenders down his arms. Each move he made to undress brought her blood pressure higher. She watched, not saying a word.

When he unfastened the front of his yellow pants, her eyes riveted to the thick length of c.o.c.k he released. He sat there, stroking the base, watching her. She desperately wanted to impale herself on that hardened flesh because she knew it was the only thing capable of soothing the ache deep in her c.u.n.t. But he had to make the first move. It was bad enough she planned to go along with it.

"Your turn," he said.

"My turn for what?"

"Take your pants off and lie on the seat."

She shook her head.

"Darlin', I promise you'll be begging for more once I start." She didn't doubt him. In fact, she was curious about what he planned for her. Tammy rolled her eyes and began unzipping her pants. "All the way off. I need your legs spread wide."

What was it about the tw.a.n.g in his voice that made instantly wet? She kicked off her jeans and then slipped off her panties. It felt so naughty once she could feel the truck's cool, vinyl seat covers against her bare a.s.s. "Someone will see."

"Not on this road. Now lie back." He leaned forward, hooking one of her legs over his left shoulder. She felt so exposed, so dirty. The cool air caressed her moist folds, heightening all her sensations. "Pretty and pink," he said before kissing her swollen c.l.i.t. She arched up and gasped, unaccustomed to such raw s.e.xual energy. This was another first for her, just as a.n.a.l s.e.x had been new to her this morning. What else could these four men expose her to in the next week?

He lowered his head and lapped up her folds with a firm, flattened tongue. It felt so f.u.c.king good. Her body instantly melted into the seat. She loosened the muscles in her legs, offering herself to Aaron completely. The sounds he made were animalistic, making her feel s.e.xy and desired. The heat from his mouth and wetness of his tongue combined with his skills sent her hurdling towards a fast peak.

"Have you ever come in a man's mouth before, Tammy?"

No, but if he didn't stop with the dirty talk, he'd be the first. She shook her head, not able to form a word when she was already floating in another realm.

"I can't wait to taste you, to feel your hot little p.u.s.s.y pulsing against my lips." He delved back in, f.u.c.king her with his tongue and flicking her c.l.i.t so fast she thought she'd see stars. When her o.r.g.a.s.m neared she reached out for something to anchor her. She grabbed hold of his T-shirt in one hand and his hair with the other. Then she detonated. Tammy screamed with disregard as her body jolted to life. The contractions in her womb were strong and demanding, but Aaron wouldn't let up, continuing to eat her p.u.s.s.y until she begged him to stop.

He licked his lips and returned to a seated position, that monster c.o.c.k jutting up from his open pants. "Sweeter than I imagined."

Tammy crawled up to her knees in the confined s.p.a.ce, needing to sit on that c.o.c.k more than breath. She'd had a release but still felt achy deep inside. Aaron had a condom rolled over his erection before she swung her leg over his lap to straddle him. They maintained eye contact as she impaled herself on that thick c.o.c.k. She could feel every warm inch filling her, leaving nothing untouched inside her. A wash of satisfaction filled her veins, a new o.r.g.a.s.m imminent. There was something in his eyes-a secret, a burden. Maybe she'd never know, since he'd already stated this was just s.e.x.

"I love your p.u.s.s.y. So hot and tight." He held her hips with his big, calloused hands, a.s.sisting her in working his c.o.c.k. Her breathing was heavy and fast, her breath coming out in throaty sighs each time she came down on his lap. The delicious friction teased her c.l.i.t, her p.u.s.s.y afire with pleasure.

"Oh, G.o.d," she cried. Tammy wasn't sure she could handle another intense o.r.g.a.s.m, not so soon after the first. Aaron wouldn't allow her to slow her pace, lifting her up and forcing her down over his d.i.c.k. His pants rubbed her inner thighs. She was so close.

"Let me feel you squeeze my c.o.c.k, baby doll."

She had the urge to lean forward and kiss him, to know the feel of his lips on hers. But he'd already claimed to not want commitment, so she wouldn't make things harder on herself by adding a deeper layer of intimacy.

"Come!" He dropped his head back, his eyes closed. Tammy wasn't used to unselfish lovers. She wanted to comply, to give him what he wanted so he could stop holding back. "Now, darlin'."

His gruff demand did the job, forcing her o.r.g.a.s.m to finally break free. Her p.u.s.s.y flooding with molten heat, her walls clamping down around Aaron's throbbing c.o.c.k. It was perfect. The moment of sweet release was a world of its own, as if she could stay there forever and never have to deal with reality. But as beautiful as it was, it quickly dissipated, leaving her strangely bereft. s.e.x alone would never be enough for her.

Chapter Nine.

When they returned to the station Tammy kept to herself, staying in her bedroom to write on her laptop. She wrote about her experiences thus far, minus the inappropriate s.e.xcapades. No matter what she'd done personally, the fact remained she was at Station 23 for a reason. The article wouldn't write itself. Besides, she knew she couldn't face the four men after what she'd done with them.

Darius had called her for dinner hours earlier, but she refused, saying she wasn't hungry. It wasn't a lie. Her thoughts were focused on her actions and impossible fantasies. Food was the last thing on her mind.

She checked the small alarm clock on the bedside table. It was 10:30, time to call it a night. Hopefully there wouldn't be another late-night call again, because she felt physically and emotionally drained. She flicked off the table lamp and curled under the covers, feeling very much alone.

The door creaked open a while later, a flood of light cutting a slice into the dark room. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so she had to squint when she turned around. The door closed again, choking out the light from the hall.

"Who's there?" There was no sound, no movement, but she felt a presence.

"I told you this is my room." Jake's deep baritone sent a thrill up her spine. Of all the men, he felt the most distant, even more so than Aaron. She yearned for his affection. The sound of his footfalls coming closer to the bed had a direct effect on her pulse.

"Should I leave? Go sleep in your bunk in the other room?"

"No. You stay where you are. The bed's big enough for the both of us." Tammy imagined a f.u.c.k from Jake would be brutal, no mercy, delicious. She craved what he could give her.

He lifted the edge of the blankets and slipped under. She shuffled over to make room for his large frame. As he settled in, she realized he wore no T-shirt. His bare skin was almost hot against hers. She only wore an undershirt with spaghetti straps and bikini panties. It's how she always slept at home. The skin-to-skin contact felt intimate, arousing.

She felt awkward, not knowing where to put her hands. Should she touch him, run her palms to feel all those thick muscles for herself? She decided to wait until he made the first move.

"I suppose you know all about me," he finally said.

"I'm not sure what you mean."

"You're a journalist. You must have done your research on the four of us before moving in here." Was she supposed to? She'd never done journalism before and began to worry she'd already failed. Surely Mr. Templeton would have told her if she needed to do background checks before starting.

"I was given what I needed. Is there something I should know?"

The tension in the air seemed to fade away after she spoke, Jake's breathing more relaxed. He turned to his side. "Come here." His voice was lighter, less intense. Jake shifted to tuck his arm under her neck, cuddling her to his body. She instinctively laid her hand on his chest. He felt so good.

She concentrated on the rise and fall of his chest, the feel of his skin against her cheek, and the hard muscle under her fingers. Although they hadn't had s.e.x with each other, he'd been there when his friends had double-teamed her. She supposed it was why she didn't feel hesitant to cuddle up against him. It wasn't professional to share a bed, but she'd crossed that taboo line soon after arriving. "Did I say something to make you stop hating me?" she whispered.

"I don't hate you. It's me you should hate." He began to stroke her hair, a loving gesture she thought Jake incapable of. Although his forest-green eyes held depth of character, his stoic expression always warned her not to get too close.

"Why?"

He exhaled. "Let's just say I won't be heading to the pearly gates when my time comes. But I'm ready to atone for my sins."

She knew by his tenor that he wasn't going to open up further. But he'd given her a window into his character and it was enough for now. Tammy ran her palm over the firm planes of his chest, her p.u.s.s.y responding instantly. He stilled her hand with his.

"Sleep, Tammy." He kept his hand over hers, pressed firmly to his heart, his other arm holding her close. Unlike Aaron, he wasn't going for s.e.x and more s.e.x. Even though she wouldn't refuse him if he made a move, Tammy appreciated the fact he could cuddle and talk without wanting s.e.x. Did it mean anything? Was she worth more than a one-night stand in his eyes?

"But-"

"I know I've been an a.s.s since you showed up. Sometimes it's easier to stay distant, you know? That way no one hurts me, and I can't hurt anyone else."

"That's an awful way to live. If you don't give a piece of yourself, you can never know real love." She should talk. Tammy lived with ghosts from the past every day of her life, and her last boyfriend turned out to have many, many screws loose.

"Not everyone deserves to be loved, Tammy. Don't even waste your time on me. I know Darius has eyes for you, likely Conall and Aaron, too. If you're looking for love, you'd have better luck with one of them."

"But what if I want you?"

"You don't."

The more he pushed her away, the more desperate she felt to hold on and never let go. There was pain locked up inside him. She could practically feel it, like a living force. She wanted to fix him, help him know the love of a good woman.

What had Jake gone through? Was he divorced, or had he been burned in a past relationship?

"You don't have to push me away. I know all about living with guilt."

She felt him shake his head. "You don't know the kind of pain I've had to live through. It changes a man, damages him enough that he's not worth keeping."

Her hackles rose. "Maybe not, but I a.s.sure you I know what it's like to lose someone I love."

Jake quieted for a while, his hand still playing with strands of her hair. "What happened?" he asked after a lengthy silence.

If she wanted him to open up to her, she'd have to do the same. The problem was she'd never really shared her haunting past with anyone. It was her painful secret, her burden. "My parents died when I was young."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't realize."

"It was a long time ago. I was ten when it happened. I'm thirty-six now." She tried to brush it off as an old wound, but in truth, the scene continued to trouble her dreams to this day. Saying it aloud brought a wave of emotion up from her gut, her throat clogging and eyes burning.

His tone shifted to one of empathy, another emotion she didn't expect to see from Jake. "What happened to them?"

She chuckled softly, not making the connection until now. "Fire. They died in a fire."

In the silence of the room, she could hear him swallow, as if the news was a shock for him. It wasn't every day a person survived to tell about such a tragedy. Such things were told on nightly news reports but never really hit people close to home.

Both her parents had died when their townhouse caught fire. The firefighters who rescued Tammy couldn't go back for her parents. It was too late. The flames had engulfed the rear of the house, causing support beams to break way. She remembered struggling in his arms, screaming for him to go back for her mommy and daddy when they reached the fresh air. Even at ten, they had to sedate her.

Tammy still held contempt for her rescuers for not going back in to save her parents. It would have been better to let her die in the fire along with them, rather than condemn a little girl to a loveless life of bouncing through foster care. She'd played the blame game well. The dispatch was too inefficient, the trucks too old, the entire system outdated. Everywhere she could find culpability, she sought it, when she should really have looked in the mirror.

"You weren't with them?"

"I was rescued. They weren't." She turned to her side, propping herself up on an elbow. "What do you think of that, Jake? Do you believe a firefighter should quit when things get too dangerous, or are they obligated to ensure they save everyone possible?" Tammy wasn't sure what point she was trying to make. It was as if all the questions she kept locked up since that day wanted to be heard. She had the perfect subject, a fireman.

"IaI don't think anyone should be left behind."

She settled back into the crook of his arm, satisfied for now. It wasn't all firefighters she resented. Just the ones who let her parents die, the ones who held her back from returning to the flames, the ones who ensured she'd live life as an orphan.

Her previous exhaustion came back. Recalling that memory was draining. It took everything in her power to try and not focus on the details of the fateful day. She didn't want to become a crying mess in Jake's arms. Tammy had twenty-six years to move on. Breaking down now was not acceptable to her. But guilt had a way of festering, working its way into a person's very soul like a poison.

"Right answer," she said drowsily. "Never leave anyone behind..."

Jake saw Tammy in a new light. She'd been a victim of fire. She knew what it felt like to be let down, to know firefighters failed in their duty to save her loved ones. He felt an instant connection with her, a deep bond not too many people were capable of sharing.

He saw redemption when he looked at the shadowed lines of her face as he held her close. Through her, he could make amends for his past sins. But he couldn't tell her the truth. She'd hate him for it, categorize him with the men who'd already let her down in the worst possible way. He'd left people behind, as she'd said.

"I respect what you do. It must be a great responsibility. I mean, every call could mean life or death for countless people."

"I may complain, but I'd much rather fight garage fires than a true emergency where real lives are at stake. Life is so fragile. One moment here, the next it's snuffed out in a haze of smoke."

It had been almost a decade ago when they went on the call that changed everything for Jake. There had been an apartment fire in a privately owned triplex. The units were illegal, no working smoke detectors and bad wiring. It's one of the reasons Jake and his crewmates were so adamant about fire safety in the community, volunteering their time at schools and events.

The fire had spread so fast, they couldn't keep up with it. After clearing the first two floors of renters, he struggled to get up to the third. Even with his oxygen and mask, he couldn't see for the smoke. He heard their cries and briefly caught a glimpse of the family before the stairs gave out on him.

He woke up in a hospital, his ankle and two ribs broken. Those people would forever star in his nightmares. Their looks of terror burned into his memories. The "what-ifs" made him a hostile man. He blamed himself more than anyone else. As far as he was concerned those three deaths were on his head.

It was hard to get back into his regular pace of life after the incident. He was bitter and angry, not willing to get close with new people. But this little angel knew his plight. She'd been on the opposite side of the fire. It was up to him to make amends for her loss since he'd been the cause of another, one he couldn't undo. It was as if G.o.d had a plan to bring the two of them together for healing. But he still couldn't let her know the truth. He wouldn't have her look at him with disgust and disappointment in her eyes.

"I can hear your heart beating," she whispered. "So strong. It makes me feel safe."

"You are safe with me." Jake held Tammy close, knowing she was the one for him, the only woman he could come out of his sh.e.l.l for. When he'd get close to other women he'd find it hard to connect, to put away the past and just live. Maybe he'd finally find the peace of mind he sought by giving his heart to this slip of a woman. He was already painfully attracted to her, as were his best friends, but now that attraction went deeper. But as Darius often complained, a firefighter had no right to fall in love or start a family. It wasn't fair to leave a woman home alone for so many hours and days a week, with no security that their man would even come home at all.

Tammy drifted off to sleep, her soft mewling sounds making his protective instincts soar. He was her protector now, and he reveled in the fact.

Days later, Tammy picked at her lunch in the kitchen with Aaron and Conall. She couldn't help but sneak peeks at Aaron as he sat eating a sandwich across from her, and she wondered if he'd had a change of heart. By some miracle, she'd gotten through to Jake, the worst of the bunch. Surely it was possible for Aaron to have the same change. Or perhaps she was pushing her luck to expect all members of her menage to want to commit. Her cozy little life back at her apartment, the place she usually craved as an escape from the world, no longer felt inviting. After leaving Station 23 it would become her prison, a lonely place where she entertained all her wild fantasies. She had the real thing now and didn't want to lose it. Despite the issues with Aaron, she felt at home around the four men, like she'd known them all her life. She'd only had the love of a father briefly and had no brothers. It felt natural to live amongst these rough, real men.

"So, I hear Jake snuck into your room the other night," said Conall as he leaned against the counter with a mug of coffee. His blond hair was still damp from a shower, and he wore a fitted T-shirt and workout sweats.