One bad thing about being a squads veteran was the general expectation that I would wake up before anyone else did. In order to kick people out of bed, a man pretty much had to be dressed and ready to go before the sun touched the sky. I found that part of the job to be difficult-but I did it anyway.

Carlos was my first victim. I kicked him out of his bunk an hour after it was officially dawn on ship-time. In s.p.a.ce, you had to make these things up, but we kept a twenty-four hour clock going so everyone felt at home.

"Youve got to be kidding me, McGill," Carlos said from the floor. "Are the squids. .h.i.tting us again?"

"Nope," I said, "but I noticed your dragon hasnt been cleaned in a week. I want to see an oil-change, and I want every ding and dent buffed out."

Carlos heaved himself up and yawned. "This is revenge, isnt it?" he asked.

"I will admit to taking a small amount of pleasure in the situation," I said.

"Thats very small of you, Vet."

An hour later the squad was showered up, fed and working hard. Harris crew walked in on us. They shared the same mechanics bay we did aboard ship. I didnt even look up when he came in. It felt good to get away with that.

Harris ordered his people to work then stared at me for a few long seconds. I knew he was staring, but I didnt even look at him.

Finally, he walked over to me, sighed, and held out his hand to shake. I frowned at it in honest confusion.

"Do I owe you some money, Harris?" I asked.

"No, McGill," he huffed. Then he got a little mad. "Just take it, dammit. Be a man!"

"Why?"

"Because I was wrong, thats why!"

This surprised me quite a bit. I could not recall a time Id heard those words come out of Harris mouth before. In fact, I doubted they ever had.

I took his hand, and I shook it firmly.

"Why the change of heart, Vet?" I asked him.

"I saw what you did down there in the middle of that s.h.i.t-storm. You took one for the team, and it worked. I got out of that place alive. Most of my squad did, too. If it hadnt been for you and Graves-well, it wouldnt have happened."

"Okay then...I guess we can call off our little feud."

"Yes, consider it forgotten," he said. "Youre a real veteran now. Youve earned your rank, and Im willing to admit it wasnt a mistake. But one thing, James?"

I blinked at the use of my first name. I was pretty sure hed never done that before.

"Whats that?" I asked.

"Dont sing anymore, okay? I dont think I could take it."

"Ill try to remember that, Vet. But sometimes, the mood just strikes me, you know?"

We parted ways, grinning. I harangued my squad, and he did the same with his, but we were both in better spirits. Its hard to work alongside a man who you know hates you. Today, I didnt have to live with that.

-26-.

We didnt invade Machine World again for three more days. During that time, the revival machines worked night and day, churning out the troops whod died. Many of them were sad-sacks from Solstice whod been dead since the first hours of the conflict. Theyd died on their ship, Pegasus, and had been waiting in line to return to life for over a week.

"It just doesnt seem right," I remarked to Natasha. Id connected up with her again aboard Cyclops as shed been a.s.signed to working on signal interpretation duties. It was her job to glean whatever intel she could from the scratchy transmissions coming up from Machine World.

"What doesnt seem right?" she asked. She was bent over a device that looked like a microwave oven with the guts of it turned inside out. She wore sensitive headphones as she tested various inputs and outputs. Every time I said something to her, she had to remove the headphones so she could hear me.

"Im talking about leaving people in the queue so long before revival. Theyll be freaked out when they finally regain consciousness-I know how it feels. One time, I was left dead for three days-thats a long time to be dead and gone."

"Thats why you keep going down to Blue Deck?" she asked.

"Yes. Im checking on Drusus."

She looked at me for a moment. "I dont believe you. Youre going down there to see Anne, arent you?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"I know youve been going down to Blue Deck every couple of hours asking for her. Shes too busy to see you-running the revives night and day. The bio people are pulling double-shifts, and thats putting a kink in your nighttime plans, isnt it?"

I tried not to look embarra.s.sed, because she was partly right. Thats the trouble with hanging around smart girls like Natasha.

Now, I liked Natasha, dont get me wrong. Wed had plenty of good times over the years. Shed been my sort-of girlfriend, if it could be said Id ever officially had one. But she always became possessive after a while, and then wed break up and things would cool down. On my side of the story, I didnt think I was in the wrong this time.

"Natasha," I said, "you and I arent sleeping together, right? So why cant I take another girl on a date without you getting bent out of shape?"

"Im not upset," she said, turning back to her gizmo and fooling with it. She was frowning, but nothing more than that. "I was just putting together the equation, thats all."

"Fine, fine," I said, forcing a smile she didnt return. "If we can drop that now, Id like to talk to you about our latest dragon load-outs. If were going up against the squids, possibly allied with the Machines, what do you think we should equip on a front-line dragon?"

Natasha had her headset on again. She lifted the set from one of her ears and glanced at me. I wasnt sure if shed heard my question at all, or if she was thinking so much shed decided to ignore it.

"What I object to is your lack of transparency, James," she said in a somewhat stern voice. "You should be more open with women. You should let them know what theyre in for before you get involved with them."

"I thought you didnt care."

"I didnt say that. I dont care from a personal standpoint, but Im looking out for Anne. Shes new to the James McGill sh.e.l.l-game."

She put her headphones back on and went back to work.

My face twisted up into a grimace, and I sighed. "Sure, youre just thinking about poor Anne. You wanted to rip her hair out last year."

"Did not," she responded.

"You heard that clearly enough."

She pulled her headphones back off. She gave me a sideways glance then went back to her equipment. "Just dont break her heart. Tell her how its going to be. Tell her youll get bored around date number four, and by date six or seven youll be chasing someone else."

"Thats not always how it goes."

"Yes-it pretty much is."

"Well..." I said, running out of words. "...look, shes been in the same unit with me for a long time. She knows the score. Besides, when did I ever lie to you about anything?"

She gave me an up-down look. "Its not about lies, its about critical omissions."

"Like what?"

"Like Della, for instance. When were you going to tell me youd slept with her again? When were you going to tell me you two had a child together?"

I was floored. First of all, I hadnt thought Natasha knew about these things, and secondly, I didnt think shed throw them in my face. But these revelations helped explain the generally poor att.i.tude shed been showing me ever since wed reached Machine World.

"Natasha, I havent been chasing you, have I?" I asked.

"No, I guess not," she said, sounding a little hurt.

"Well then, why should I have to tell you every detail of my personal-?"

"Have you told Anne anything about Della?"

"Uh...it hasnt come up yet," I admitted.

"You see? Thats the problem. Women like to know such details before they get involved. They dont want to be rudely surprised later on. Thats the kind of thing that explodes so many of your relationships."

I thought about what she was saying. Maybe she was right, to a degree. When I approached a new relationship with a woman whod gotten my attention, I generally tried to hide all the bad stuff. Look as good as you can and keep smiling, that was my motto.

"Dont you think starting off with a laundry list of past misdeeds might put a damper on a new romance?" I asked her.

"Well, yes. You have a point there."

We fell quiet for a time. I worked on dragon load-outs on a computer scroll while she kept toying with the listening system, isolating signals and marking interesting ones for later focused study.

Designing my squads dragons, I considered shielding, but I didnt select the option in the end. Shields were nice, but they drained your power very quickly, and the projection units were heavy. In my opinion, part of the point of cavalry was being able to move across the battlefield quickly.

After several minutes of quiet, Natasha pulled her headphones off and turned to frown at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Dont you even care about your child? Dont you even care about Della being married? How could you sleep with her in such a situation? I dont get you sometimes, James-then again, maybe I do and I dont like what I-"

"Whoa, whoa!" I said, putting up my hands. "Have you been sitting there stewing all this time?"

She didnt answer, but her expression told me that she had.

"Listen," I said. "Della came on to me, and it was after we made love she told me about the kid thing. And the marriage thing. After she dropped those bombs on me, weve stayed apart."

Natashas mouth was a tiny, straight line. She was p.i.s.sed under that cool exterior, I could tell. I had to wonder how long shed been steaming like this and not talking to me about it. Come to think of it, shed been kind of cold and distant lately-I guess I just hadnt noticed.

"Okay," she said, "you didnt know everything when you chased her. But 'kid-thing? Really? Thats what you call your own child?"

"Maybe its me," I said, "but Im beginning to feel a little hostility, here. Look, heres my kids picture. Shes named Etta. Heres a movie."

I played a short clip on my tapper then another. Natasha eyed these and softened.

"Im sorry," she said suddenly. "I was an idiot. Forget I said anything. Everyone carries their private sorrows differently, I guess you prefer to bottle yours up inside."

Her statements left me wanting to scratch my head in confusion, but I know its a good idea to take a breather when your opponent offers one. Sure, Id looked through the pictures and thought about being a father. Id been pretty busy fighting and dying to do much of that, but Id spent a few minutes now and then contemplating these new realities. The truth was, the kid was on another planet and would probably grow up without laying eyes on her real dad. It was more tragic, in my opinion, that her mother had left to fight in the legions as well, because Della had gone off to the stars knowing what that meant.

"Look," I said, "you seem more torn up by this than Della herself. The colonists...well, they dont think quite the way we do. They have more of a communal society from what I can see. They raise kids with a group effort. They dont dote on them and take them to theme parks and stuff like that. People on Earth have a much tighter relationship with their children."

Natasha pursed her lips and nodded. "I think youre right. You should be pretty happy about all that. It fits right in with your preferred path through life."

I wasnt certain, but I figured I was probably being insulted again. I stood up and gathered my kit.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Im through here."

She watched me pack my stuff, without talking. Finally, as I was about to leave, she stopped me. She got up, put her hands on my arm, and tugged.

"Dont go away angry," she said. "Im sorry. Im jealous. I cant help it. The whole thing with Della-that freaked me out when I heard about it."

"I thought you had a new boyfriend. What about that skinny bio guy?"

She shook her head. "It didnt work out."

Her hands were still on my arm, so I couldnt very well rip away from her. "Uh...are you trying to tell me something?" I asked.

Natasha frowned, not meeting my eyes. "I dont know. Look, youre dropping on the planet again soon, right?"

"We pretty much all are, as I understand the plan."

"Okay. This shouldnt be too hard. Well wipe out these squid troops in a month and head home. Ive got an idea for afterward."

Her rosy scenario concerning the invasion didnt match my own expectations, but I didnt burst her bubble. Id fought squid troops before, and they were real b.a.s.t.a.r.ds. Just one of them was worth a squad of men if they got in close.

"What did you want to do when we get home?" I asked.

I dont know what I thought shed say. Maybe that we should have a drink together in Atlanta and give our old relationship a fresh try. Or that shed been building one of her illegal bio-nano creatures again, and she wanted to share the secret with me. What she did suggest had never entered my head.

"I was thinking you and I could fly out to Zeta Herculis," she said. "There are regular flights between Earth and Dust World now, you know. Theyre mostly trade ships, nothing fancy, but it would be at least as comfortable as Cyclops. Relatively cheap fare, too."

My mouth must have been hanging open by this time. "Why would we want to do that?"

"To see your daughter, of course!" she said brightly.

The light went on in my skull. "Oh-I guess that is possible. Id honestly never thought of it before. I mean...all our lives weve been stuck on Earth unless we joined the legion and were given a contract in another star system. The idea that we can travel as private citizens-thats all new."

"Yes, yes," she said, smiling. "It is new, and Id like to be one of the first to give it a try."