Chapter 124: Soul, Ambition

Luo Pei Shan just shook his head and didnt say anything. He didnt want to do anything, just letting someone go call Jing Wan, and headed to the greenhouse.

As Luo Pei Shan was messing around in the greenhouse, Jing Wan showed up. Shed changed into a relatively simple outfit, and further didnt wear anything on her wrist. She was actually the same as usual. Luo Pei Shan didnt know whether she really didnt care at all, or had everything all bottled up in her heart. This kind of Jing Wan made one heartache, but at the same time, Luo Pei Shan also strangely felt somewhat angry.

If she really didnt care, then how would they, the ones who care about her, be able to bear it. They all wholeheartedly wished for her to be well, yet she herself was indifferent. Then, for what exactly were they running back and forth for? And if she was just concealing in the bottom of her heart, then why cant she just say it out loud? They were all her close family. Even if she didnt want them to worry, but didnt she know that the more she kept quiet, the more they would worry? At least let them know what exactly she was thinking. That way, they wouldnt all be like headless flies.

Sensing the coldness emitting from Luo Pei Shan, and moreover, clearly directed at her, Jing Wan felt a bit confused, Grandfather, did this granddaughter do something wrong?

These words thoroughly ignited Luo Pei Shans anger, seizing Jing Wan and fiercely scolding her. Never mind Jing Wan, even the servants serving at the side all blanked. But hearing his words, it wasnt like he hated third miss. A perceptive servant girl hurriedly ran towards the main courtyard.

Luo Old Madam, after hearing the servant girls words, hurriedly headed towards the greenhouse, only to hear.

.You are good to this one, good to that one, towards this one, going all out, and towards that one, meticulous in every way, but how come you just cant be a little good to yourself? Right now, youre fourteen, not forty-one, what you need is the naivety of a young girl, and towards the future, should hold some hope and expectation. Even if one were to see through the mundane world, that time isnt now, but rather, after experiencing through a very long process of several decades. Just a silly little girl, yet already wanting to walk to the end in one step, what use is there for old fools like us still? As your close family, could it be that were just not worthy of your trust? Must you insist on shouldering everything yourself? After Luo Pei Shan ruthlessly vented his anger, that anger actually extinguished a little. And seeing Jing Wan standing there in the same spot with her head lowered shedding tears, he still heartached in the end. This child ultimately just had heavy thoughts. To say she was open-minded wasnt false, but because she cared too much about the people she cared for, and didnt care too much for herself, it instead made people feel it was somewhat deliberate at times. Although Luo Pei Shan knew, she definitely was sincere, but these, all had her restrained. She wasnt able to truly be open-minded. If she were to untie her restraints, she would be able to live even more willfully and freely, and her life would also be full of color.

(T/N: Tbh for Jing Wan who had a fully matured brain as soon as she popped out of Zhang-s.h.i.+s womb, its very difficult for her to truly act her age, and her being super rational doesnt help either. Once that child-like innocence is lost, its impossible to get back, and for Jing Wan she doesnt even bother to pretend. Although forty-one is actually closer to her actual mental age lol.)

Have to say, Luo Pei Shan was indeed an old seasoned fox. The time he has spent with Jing Wan wasnt very long, yet he already accurately saw where the problem was on Jing Wan.

Luo Old Madam, who originally thought that something had happened, this while, just slowly approached, Wan Wan

Jing Wan hurriedly wiped away her tears. She subconsciously didnt want to let her grandmother worry.

You are precisely just this way, your grandfather isnt wrong in the slightest. If you want to cry, just cry, no need to hold it in. She then swept a glance at the surroundings, All scatter, what are you all circling around here for? Regardless whether it was the servants nearby or the ones in the distance, they all quickly left. Even their personal servants all conscientiously moved further away, only leaving behind the three of them.

Luo Pei Shan quietly stared at Jing Wan for a moment, and continued speaking, The Luo familys glory and disgrace, rise and fall, dont need for you to come consider. How incompetent must I be to need to rely on my granddaughter to come maintain the clans honor? If the Luo family really falls, then that can only mean that the Luo familys fate has come to an end.

Dont know if it was because of their words, or because Jing Wan really couldnt control her tears, Grandfather and grandmother treat me too well, this granddaughter has nothing to repay you all. Besides, as a member of the Luo family, doing a little something is what one ought to do.

Silly child, having the thought is enough. People have seven emotions and six desires

[1]

, one at the very least needs to experience the joys and sorrows of life, and cant because of wanting to reject a certain feeling, just reject them all. By having oneself wrapped up tightly, perhaps one will have everything go smoothly throughout ones life, but this life will also be dull and flavorless. When you grow old, then look back, discovering that theres actually nothing worth reminiscing, isnt that a little too unfortunate. In reality, grandmother sometimes even hope for you to slightly be able to have a little taste of sorrow and bitterness. Although that way it will make us elders heartache, but its better than you clearly having days you desire, yet you hold no hope towards it. You completely can look forward to that kind of days. If you dont even want to try, then how can you determine, you wont be able to obtain it. Also, what you are thinking inside, you can completely tell grandmother. Even if it goes against the established norm, grandmother wont blame you, and if you have grievances, you can also vent it out. In the past, when they were still at Qian Fu, because they didnt touch upon the subject of marriage, Luo Old Madam naturally didnt see any problems on Jing Wan, but through these two marriage arrangements, she finally noticed that Jing Wan was somewhat abnormal. Although it wasnt that one must appear bashful when discussing marriage, it wasnt that one must grieve in despair after getting ones engagement canceled, and it further wasnt that one must worry nervously when ones future mother-in-law expresses dislike, but to not have the slightest reaction at all, that really was not normal.

Jing Wan, after properly crying it out, indeed felt much lighter inside. Perhaps she really can live even more freely and unrestrained.

By the time Jing Wans emotions settled down, she also realized that today, grandfather probably didnt just get promoted to the Head Minister of Appointments that simple. He probably also encountered something else, otherwise he wouldnt have said these things to her, and further wouldnt have exploded in anger like this. Grandfather, did something else happen today?

Luo Pei Shan sighed, turning around to fiddle with an evergreen tree, That Kang Qinw.a.n.g is one that cant hold up a wall

[2]

. He had the matters that happened after morning court roughly explained. Although he got schemed against by Li Hong Ming, he however didnt feel there was anything wrong with what Li Hong Ming did. If not for the Empress as well as the Sun clan supporting from behind, he most likely wouldve long been schemed to death. If he ascends the throne, then in the future, itll most likely be the outside relatives wielding power, and the inner palace interfering in politics.

The inner palace interfering in politics? Grandfather is referring to the current Empress, the future Empress Dowager?

Luo Pei Shan glanced at her. Thats why, this dear granddaughter, aside from being a bit too ruthless at certain times, in other aspects, really cant be nitpicked.

This, isnt likely, right? One has to know, in the previous dynasty, the inner palace interfering in politics was a very serious matter. And when it came to the Qi Yuan dynasty, and the Li clan took control of the rivers

[3]

, the inner palace forbidden to interfere in politics was further directly incorporated into the Li clan imperial familys ancestral teachings. The current Empress, to put it bluntly, was also the Li familys daughter-in-law, did she have the guts to challenge the ancestral teachings?

(T/N: The inner palace, although is often times translated as the harem, it covers more than just the harem, because it also encompa.s.ses the women from the previous generation like the Empress Dowager. Essentially its just used to refer to the womenfolk that live in the palace.)

Grandmother, nothing is impossible, all depends on whose hand the authority is grasped in. If you ask me, if Empress Sun just wants to be that power wielder behind the scene after her son ascends the throne, then her ambitions are still a bit small.

This time, even Luo Pei Shan stared at Jing Wan with wide eyes.

Jing Wan smiled, If I have to say, the Sun rise in place of the Li, a dynastys female emperor, that would truly be considered impressive for her.

To say you dare to say what others dont dare to think, these words really arent false. Luo Pei Shan clicked his tongue, Whether or not the Empress has the intention to interfere in politics in the future is still uncertain. However, that ambition definitely isnt able to reach the level that you say, she probably never even thought of it before. Luo Pei Shan stroked his beard, In this case, the Empresss ambition really is a bit small.

Jing Wan just silently smiled. Its not that she dared to think of it, but rather in the history of the world of her past life, there was a female emperor

[4]

. Now that was true ambition, strong and formidable, ruthless and fierce. Furthermore, there was also the various other countries queens, female presidents, female prime ministers, and many other outstanding and admirable women. Each and every one of them were all praiseworthy. In her view, no woman was naturally born to be weak, becoming just a va.s.sal. Thus towards the Empresss ambition, she didnt feel there was anything wrong.

Right now, the problem is that even if I want to wholeheartedly help Kang Qinw.a.n.g, its all not that easy.

If it really is as grandfather thinks, then the Empress will take care of Kang Qinw.a.n.g. The reason why Rui Qinw.a.n.gs scheme is able to succeed is nothing more than just due to having a grasp on Kang Qinw.a.n.gs temper. The Empress isnt someone that can be schemed against that easily.

These words arent wrong, but a mud man is still three part clay, compared to Rui Qinw.a.n.g, Kang Qinw.a.n.g perhaps is a bit mediocre and incompetent, but in the end still an imperial prince. He may not necessarily not have the intentions of using the Empress. Thats why, the Empress isnt a hundred percent effective either. Moreover, theres also the saying called outward devotion but inner opposition

[5]

. Can the Empress have Kang Qinw.a.n.g kept under her eyelids at all times? Also, if the Empress interferes too much, itll inevitably cause the other court officials that support Kang Qinw.a.n.g to oppose. After all, this meritorious deed of following the dragon also had the distinction between big and small. Although they were led by the Ding Duke Manor, they still cant let the Sun clan monopolize all the benefits in the end. Thats why, within the same faction, there was also the struggle for benefits. Mutually pus.h.i.+ng one another aside is very normal. Right now, Im sitting on the high position of Head Minister of Appointments. Once squeezed into the ranks, Ill inevitably thin out many peoples benefits. Then, for them to use todays matter to fan the flames in front of Kang Qinw.a.n.g is also something that cant be more normal.

Jing Wan thought for a moment, Since thats the case, then grandfather can only try ones best, and if its truly not possible, then just do as they desire. Truly changing sides to Rui Qinw.a.n.gs faction isnt necessarily undoable.

If it really comes to this, then what will you do in the future? We cant just when that time comes let you cancel your engagement with Sun Yi Lin again? In the entire capital, someone like Sun Yi Lin, who has status and position, and even willing to keep himself clean, afraid, cant find a second one. Once Rui Qinw.a.n.g ascends the throne, even if he is unable to eradicate the entire Sun clan, the Ding Duke Manor will undoubtedly not exist anymore. When time comes, letting you return to the Luo family isnt impossible, but that isnt something your grandmother and I want to see.

Then just have Sun Yi Lin saved too. If he has unflinching righteousness and insists on peris.h.i.+ng together with the Ding Duke Manor, then prior to that, if he has never let me down in the slightest, then so what if I remain faithful to him for a lifetime? And if theres even children between us, then I will wholeheartedly raise them into adulthood. She paused for a moment, Grandfather, women dont necessarily need to attach themselves to men to be able to live out their life, and having a man thats good to her isnt necessarily happiness. A womans heart isnt necessarily just that small piece of haven in the back manor either.

In that moment, Luo Pei Shan finally understood, this precious granddaughter of his, really isnt someone that cares about romance. Eternal devotion for a lifetime is just her ideal marriage. If she can obtain it, then its her good fortune, and if she cant, then she definitely wont insist on it.

For you to be able to have these words said out loud, grandfather is very happy.

Grandfather, you arent a qualifying (Confucian) scholar official. This Sir Luos respect towards women wasnt like someone of this era.

Can only say, this grandfather once met a very special woman. Her influence towards this grandfather was very big.

Jing Wan immediately batted her eyes towards her own grandmother.

What are you foolishly thinking, its not what you think, that person is his Majestys little (paternal) aunt, Princess Heyang.

[1] I dont want to define this every single time so I added it to the bottom of the

historical notes page

under miscellaneous.

[2] Variation of the idiom mud cant stick on a brick wall, basically saying hes a disappointment or useless.

[3] Rivers is another way to refer to the country.

[4] Reference to Wu Zhetian, the one and only female emperor of chinese history, however there were quite a few Empress Dowagers with puppet emperors.

[5] Paying lip service; to agree overtly but oppose in secret.

T/N: Grandpa Luos weird affair with Princess Heyang lmaooo