He sighed, feeling useless and resigned. Everyone seemed to have things they were doing, whether it was preparing for the inevitable war or the Mid-Autumn Festival that was just around the corner.

He alone was left to wallow around aimlessly.

He was beginning to understand why Nan Chang decided to run away.

…But it wasn't like there wasn't anything to do. It was simply that he was kept out of the loop and people were still insisting that he should rest even though he was feeling totally fine!

If Chen Anyue wasn't going to be easily found, Yuan Xuelan decided to suck in some courage and go search for his Sumeng instead. There was a chance that the Ivory Sword Saint was not around either but it didn't hurt to check.

Yuan Xuelan first went back to the quaint office that he woke up in earlier in the day. He had learned that it was a temporary office given to Liu Sumeng to use during his stay. He also slept in that room, hence the bed that was tucked into the corner of the room.

When he knocked on the door, it was without any answer and Yuan Xuelan awkwardly slid the door open slightly to get a peek inside, "Sumeng?" he tried calling.

There was no response. No one was there. But he was still struck with the temptation to take a good look around.

Everything was organized neatly, items placed in a pragmatic but also elegant way. Yuan Xuelan gulped, feeling oddly giddy to see a room that was so signature Liu Sumeng at the Ascending Dawn Manor, the place that he called home. Now, if he saw Liu Sumeng return through the gates, would it be appropriate to tell him 'welcome home'?

Ah, his mind was escaping the realms of reality. Yuan Xuelan shook his head and gently closed the door before going on his way.

He asked a few pa.s.serbys if they had seen the Ivory Sword Saint. This time, he got a more substantial answer and was pointed in the library's direction.

Yuan Xuelan wasted no time going to the library.

Compared to w.a.n.gyun Peak's modest little collection, the Ascending Dawn's library was as grand as the rest of the manor. A whole tower was erected on the north side of the courtyard. There were four floors in total, each of them were stacked with books and manuals from floor to ceiling. It was one of the sect's prides and a symbol of their power and prestige.

But the library was large, which meant that Yuan Xuelan really had to comb through the rows of books, the little tables and chairs hidden in corners to check for the Ivory Sword Saint.

He ran himself breathless, up and down the floors until he thought maybe Liu Sumeng had already left. Or maybe that servant was playing a prank on him or something…

Reluctant to give up, Yuan Xuelan decided to double-check all the hidden corners of the library a second time.

This time when he poked his head out on the balcony of the top floor, he noticed the red sun that had begun to set behind brushstrokes of cloud.

Yuan Xuelan sighed. But then something caught the corner of his eye.

There was a chair wedged away in the very corner of the balcony that Yuan Xuelan had foolishly missed during his first comb through the library.

Liu Sumeng's head was leaning against the wall. The book in his hand looked like it was about to fall out of his grips any second. Dark lashes closed with dusk that kissed his smooth, white skin. The light reflected off his pristine robes, enveloping him in a heavenly glow.

He was obviously exhausted, but it only made his moment of rest appear more precious and heartwarming in Yuan Xuelan's eyes. The way his shoulders were slumped and the tension eased out of his face. The cold and stern visage of the Ivory Sword Saint melted into tranquil innocence.

Yuan Xuelan carefully tiptoed over, fearful of disturbing Liu Sumeng's rest. A smile lifted the corners of his lips and he inwardly chided this beautiful person for carelessly resting in random places so defenselessly.

Was this a habit of Sumeng's? Or was Yuan Xuelan simply lucky for catching him while he was so cute and vulnerable?

Yuan Xuelan hoped it was the latter, he hated the thought of others prying into Liu Sumeng's weak state as freely as he'd had the opportunity to. An ugly surge of possessiveness bubbled in Yuan Xuelan's chest and he didn't know how to suppress it.

It was overwhelming and consuming in its presence in Xuelan's heart, his eyes dilated as he looked down at Liu Sumeng's resting figure. The first thing he did was pluck to the book out of the Ivory Sword Saint's hand and set it aside.

His throat went dry as he tried to remind himself of reason, reaching over to feel a loose strand of dark hair below his fingertips.

He wanted this person.

He wanted him so much.

But he couldn't have him.

"..." And in the solitude of a suspended moment of peace, Yuan Xuelan unleashed all the ugly feelings in his heart, praying that no one was around to see or hear him.

Possessed by his own torrent of emotions, Xuelan decided he was not going to miss such an opportunity a second time. Tentatively, he thumbed the shape of Liu Sumeng's cherry-pink lips. They were not too full, but Yuan Xuelan loved the subtle curve of a cupid's bow. He noticed when Liu Sumeng smiled his left cheek would always threaten to dimple but didn't.

There was a little mole under the curve of his jaw, tucked away close to the neck. Yuan Xuelan filed away all of these tantalizing little details.

He bent down, using a ledge in the wall behind him as leverage and inched his face closer to Liu Sumeng and…hesitated.

This close, he can even see the tiny pores on Liu Sumeng's face, feeling the soft brush of warmth of each sleep-filled breath.

He shouldn't. Yuan Xuelan really shouldn't. This wasn't right. After all, the person that Sumeng liked was…was not him.

A clamping feeling seized his heart and stiffened his jaw.

Was it enough to only stay by this person's side for the rest of his life? He owed Liu Sumeng at least that much.

But he did not care about what was owed. He wanted to return that tenfold. He wanted to give that back and more. He wanted to give his entire person to Liu Sumeng. Perhaps suffering the pain of unrequited love was just the result of all the negative karma he acc.u.mulated.

"The person I like," he said in the barest whisper, "is you." The confession, carried by the whispering autumn wind was received by no one.

Liu Sumeng only slept. And Yuan Xuelan, who had the self-restraint of a dog pressed his lips against those beautiful cherry-pink ones.

The first thing he noted was the heavenly softness and he was overcome with the desire to taste them. Desire and l.u.s.t pooled in his belly. A pink tongue brushed over those lips and in his sleep, Liu Sumeng's mouth parted slightly.

His heart raced like the thunder hooves of wild horses upon the gra.s.slands. Yuan Xuelan was feeling dizzy and aroused, the heat constricted his chest and wound its way through his shoulders, his fingers, and his neck. Reason echoed uselessly in his mind, telling him that he had to pull away. This person was not his, could not be possessed by him--

But the forbidden fruit was ensnaring in its allure and even when Yuan Xuelan could not stop himself from kissing Liu Sumeng further.

He pried at those lips with his own, sucking on them and tasting the edge of Sumeng's teeth. His pulse roared in his own ears.

And when he pulled back for a breath, long, straight lashes slowly peeled open. Yuan Xuelan was enraptured, his soul caught in the grasp of those piercing dark eyes. He did not realize his blunder until the body beneath him tensed.

"What are you doing?" Liu Sumeng's voice came out strained.

Oh. This was a mistake. Yuan Xuelan froze. But he couldn't say anything. The apprehension, the anxiety was as clear of a rejection as any.

And just when he thought it couldn't get worse, a sharp gasp was heard behind them. The clattering of chinaware against the floor. A shattered teacup rolled to his feet. And Yuan Xuelan drew in a painful breath when Liu Sumeng pushed him aside.

He didn't even have the time to curse his own stupidity when he turned around and saw Chen Anyue's shock-stricken visage. Her eyes blew wide, her dainty pale hands flew over her mouth.

The Ivory Sword Saint stood from his seat, "Anyue--"

But she didn't give him the time to finish or explain, rus.h.i.+ng off in a sprint.

"Wait!" Liu Sumeng called after her, only to sigh in frustration, about to chase after but then stopped.

He turned his attention back behind to Yuan Xuelan, who only stood there stiffly, unable to process the repercussions of his own stupid mistakes. He stared up at Liu Sumeng with wide pleading eyes. No words could properly form, "I…"

But all he got in response was a sigh. Liu Sumeng's brows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line.

His heart dropped. 

"I..." he repeated stupidly without being able to elaborate or say anything else.

"Forget about it," Liu Sumeng said in a rush before going off to chase after Chen Anyue.

The words hurt like a knife to the gut. And Yuan Xuelan was left there, alone. The sun tucked itself below the horizon, marking the end of another day.