But there was a face missing from the proceedings. Rik observed, "The s.h.i.t is f.u.c.ked up about the boy Forty."

"I know they say if he make it, he not gonna walk again," Qua said.

"Man, f.u.c.k that! They better know their days are numbered, dig me?"

"So, Ran and Sam is still on the run?"

"Yeah, they're on the run from me and the police, and Jerrell is in jail."

"Good."

"I tell you this much. Ran not gonna make it, and if Jerrell sets foot back out on the street, he's not gonna make it either, and neither is that p.u.s.s.y-a.s.s Sam. Their future has already been planned by me, and they don't have one."

Qua knew he meant it. Rik was no joke. The boy would take you out if necessary. Quadir had already known about the half a million that was up for grabs for whoever killed Ran and Sam. The word was in the street.

"Look, there goes Veronica," Qua said, directing Rik to look her way.

"So, you f.u.c.k with Forty now?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a serious att.i.tude.

"I'm talking about you and Forty. Remember last week in the parking lot, or was you that f.u.c.ked up?" Rik asked, laughing at her.

"Why you worried about me? You the one that wanted that homely b.i.t.c.h, so mind your homely a.s.s business and leave me alone," she said walking away.

"She's a Reebok ho," Rik said, flagging his hand at her.

"You liked it!" she spat back at him.

"Hated it!" he shouted back. Qua sat there falling out laughing, 'cause he had heard the parking lot story, especially the part about her clothes not arranged quite the same way as when Forty left her. Of course, it wasn't right, but who was to say what was wrong?

The night went on, and the party came to an end. Quadir pulled Gena over to the side and kissed her gently.

"Happy New Year, baby," he said, letting her go.

As everyone made their exit, the cold winter air sent a chill right through Gena's sable. As usual, Quadir looked around the entire set. Girls were hopping into rides and cars were riding back and forth as people scattered about the sidewalks pairing off for the night.

"s.h.i.t," Rik said, as he pulled up behind his back. "Yo, Quadir baby," he hollered, seeing Ran's face in the crowd.

"Yo! Go this way," he said, pushing Lita trying to move them out of Ran's range. Quadir saw Rik had his gun pulled. Panic struck him and he grabbed Gena.

"Quadir!" she screamed, as she saw a guy pull a gun and aim straight at them. For one brief second, her mind returned to the fast-food parking lot and the gun that jammed. The face behind it was his. He pointed the gun at her and fired as the seconds lapsed between one another, Gena's heart pounded like waves against the seash.o.r.e as Quadir threw her body to the ground like a protective shield. The party people out celebrating New Year's Eve were caught in the middle of a drug war as hundreds scattered, screaming and ducking down on the ground.

Quinny Day saw Quadir go down and began firing aimlessly into the air. The sound of the gunfire left Gena alone to a point no one could touch her as she huddled in Quadir's strong arms.

Rasun spotted Sam and Khyree and began firing at both of them. He watched Khyree tumble to the ground as bullets pierced his lower abdomen. Reds took a shot in the arm and fell behind a car parked on the street. Jamal saw everything in front of him. He stopped his car dead in the middle of traffic. He reached under his seat, jumped out of his brand new Mercedes-Benz, and aimed for anybody he knew Rik wanted dead.

Rik took his time, as he aimed carefully. From nowhere, the bullets. .h.i.t him, crippling him to the ground. His back burned like fire as the metal ripped through his flesh. With all his weight, Rik turned around and fired the infrared glock, dropping one of Ran's rookies. Rik ducked behind a car as red lasers flickered through the air. His bullets met the enemy as the laser fired directly on its target. His pain was unbearable, but Rik held steady until Ran fell dead to the ground.

The deafening silence that followed allowed the remaining Junior Mafia a.s.sasins to hear a familiar motor, as a black four-door Cherokee slowed down long enough for everyone to hop in before it sped away, leaving a trail of smoke and bodies sprawled in the middle of street.

The silence of gunfire was like an alarm, alerting everyone that they could come from out of their hiding places. People peeked out from under cars, buildings, and windows to see if it was over.

"Quadir come on. They're gone," said Gena realizing something was very wrong. Freeing her body from his, she realized he had been shot in the chest as she rolled him off of her. She looked at his lifeless body and began to cry. She picked up his head and layed it in her lap hovering over him to keep him warm. Unknowingly realizing that the nightmare of her girlfriends was becoming her own reality. "Quadir, please get up." She tried to lift him. "Get up, baby. Quadir! Oh, no! Please baby, get up! Somebody help me! Somebody help me, please! I need someone to help me. Please!" Covered in his blood, she continued to plead, "Qua, please, please . . . baby, don't leave me. Don't leave me now! Boo, talk to me!"

"Gee," he rasped, scaring her silly.

"Quadir, I love you, baby. Please don't die. You're gonna be all right."

"It hurts, Gena. It's burning!" Gena's head spun about, looking for help, only to see Lita sprawled on the sidewalk in a pool of blood and Rik lying next to a car. She was all alone; there was no one left. They were all dead.

"No! No! Qua, hold my hand please." The bleeding was so bad, and she could feel his body tightening in her arms. Gena heard the sirens, but saw no ambulance.

A police officer hunkered down next to her, speaking softly, "Miss, is he alive?"

"Yes! Yes, but he needs an ambulance!"

He touched her shoulder and told her, "There's one on the way. It will be right here." He stood and started counting bodies.

"Take . . . take . . . " Quadir whispered.

"What, baby? What?"

"Take it, take . . . " He closed his eyes again and she began to remove his jewelry. "Key chain . . . take it." He was able to slip the key chain to her, the diamond Q key chain she'd given him a week ago.

"Qua, please hold on. The paramedics are on their way." She stayed as close to him as possible without smothering him. Finally, the ambulance arrived and the paramedics gently helped her stand before placing Qua on the stretcher. She watched as they went to work on him, never letting go of his hand. The moist drops made their silent way down her cheek, unnoticed. "Quadir, I love you. Please don't leave me. G.o.d, don't take my baby from me."

Quadir looked up at her, squeezed her hand tight, and winked at her the same way he always did.

"Qua, it's gonna be okay," Gena told him; her face awash with tears. "You're gonna be all right, baby. Everything is gonna be fine." She said looked down at his blood-drenched body. She knew the paramedics were still working, trying to save him, but she didn't know that Qua was already on his way to everlasting peace, the journey that would take him to paradise, and that he had to leave Gena. He didn't want to. He wanted to stay with her. She loved him and made him happy. She was the only woman who loved him: without the paper he knew she was with him. But he just . . . just couldn't. He wanted to fight. He was fighting for every breath, but he was too tired. It looks nice there. His energy waned. But what about Gena? He wanted the pain to stop. He was hurting so bad. He looked up at his beautiful Gena one last time and knew they would be together one day. Then he closed his eyes and exhaled his last breath.

Gena heard a funny sound, something she recognized, You only hear that on TV, don't you? The beep of the heart monitor stopped like a never-ending pause, like an unending scream, and she was confused.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Ma'am? He didn't make it."

She sat there, holding his hand, looking into his beautiful face as the ambulance continued its route to the hospital. She held onto his hand but he wasn't holding onto hers anymore. The vehicle stopped, and Gena heard someone speaking.

"Ma'am? I'm sorry, ma'am. You're gonna have to let us take him. Ma'am?"

Someone was helping her take a step down, guiding her through a door. She was entering a building. She couldn't feel the floor, but this looked like a place where you get help. Yes, help. Help for Quadir.

Gena sat in a place they put her, and wondered, What is it I have to remember? Something happened, I think. Why am I on this table? Where is Quadir? She noticed a man in green scrubs, Oh, okay, a doctor. I'll ask him. He'll know what . . . what will he know? "Doctor," she said, "Where is . . . where is Quadir Richards?"

The doctor flagged down a staff member who escorted Gena to a gray hospital bed and pulled back the sheet. She moved closer. "Qua?" she said. "I'm here, honey. I'm right here. You know I wouldn't leave you, didn't you?" she said, her voice cracking. I bet if I kiss him. She leaned into him and kissed his lips. What her soul knew as fact would not make its way to her conscious mind.

Qua's body was cold where she kissed him. There was moisture tracking his still cheek that she slowly realized was falling from her own eyes. She felt a vacuum suck the strength from her midsection. She began to shake him as she kissed him, letting all her tears flow onto his ashen skin.

"Oh, G.o.d! Please, Qua! Wake up! Don't leave me! You said you would never leave me! What am I gonna do?" A big hole was opening up beneath her and she tried not to fall in. "Why, baby, why?" Her man, her only man, the only man who loved her in this cruel, angry, vicious world lay lifeless in a gray hospital bed.

"You took care of me. You loved me so much. Don't do it, Qua." These words should bring him back. He should listen to me. And yet, he heard every word.

"Qua, I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. G.o.d, please take me, too. Please take me with him." She started crying, loud, startling an orderly. People came in, looked, and then left. She was holding him, kissing him, trying to bring him back to life.

"Miss," someone said. "Miss, you have to leave."

*Who's touching me?' Her arms flew out. "Get your hands off of me!"

"Miss, please. He's gone. There was nothing we could do."

Gena shot him a look that could kill. "You motherf.u.c.kers can save every G.o.dd.a.m.n body else. Don't touch me! Don't f.u.c.king touch me!"

She was reciting, over and over again, like a mantra, "Please don't take him. Please don't take him. Please don't take him. G.o.d take me. Oh my Lord, why?"

The orderly couldn't deal with it and called the nurses' station, glad that Quadir's parents had arrived. He asked for their a.s.sistance. "Sir, his wife is distraught. It's just a mess in there. She's lying on top of him, she refuses to leave the room, I don't know what to do."

"Let me talk to her." The man's heart broke seeing the lovely girl, desperately clinging to his son's dead body. "Gena? Gena, I'm here." She heard him, but said nothing. "Gena, baby, he's gone. Come on. His mama wants to say good-bye. Come on."

The crooning sounds comforted her and she let herself be lifted from the cold sh.e.l.l that had been her lover, into Montell's arms, and she let him surround her with consolation. "He's all I had," Gena told him. "All I had. He was my life. Without him, there's no me. I can't live without that man. I don't want to."

"Yes, you can, Gena. You have to live. You have to be strong. Why you think my Quadir loved you so much? 'Cause you're so strong. He loved you. Gena, you meant the world to that boy. It was just his time," Montell added, as tears filled up his eyes and slowly melted down his cheeks.

"No, no, no. It wasn't."

"Yes, it was, baby girl. And you will pull through this."

"I can't leave him here. They might not treat him right."

"They gonna do their job, Gena. Quadir is in good hands. Nothing can ever hurt him again. Do you know if he could look down and see you right now, and see how you're acting, he'd be hurt to see you like this."

"Dad, please let me stay with him tonight. Please, I can't leave him. I got to stay with him. He's so cold. He needs a blanket. Can't they get him a blanket?"

"Gena, the boy don't need no blanket. Girl, you scaring me. Now, you got to pull yourself together."

"Dad, why they take him from me?" she sobbed. "Why did G.o.d take my baby from me? Oh, G.o.d, why?" Montell tightened his hold on Gena so she wouldn't fall to the floor. She leaned over on the bed and hugged Quadir's lifeless body and kissed his cheek one last time. "I'll always be with you," she whispered in his ear. Then and only then did she let Quadir's father lead her from the room.

He pa.s.sed his eyes one last time over his dead son and continued walking, holding the grieving woman, remembering that there was another waiting; Quadir's mother.

Montell took Gena home and stayed with her. When she awoke, Gah Git was sitting in a chair by the bed and Gucci was laying on Quadir's pillow. "You okay, baby?"

"Where am I?" The scene was like Dorothy and Toto and it was all a bad dream.

"You're home. We brought you home last night."

"Who are you?"

"I'm your grandmother, child. What, you done lost your rabid-a.s.s mind?"

Gena's mind had to rewind itself. She wasn't in the projects, she was at her house and that wasn't Gah Git sitting there.

"Who are you?" Gena asked the girl, not having a clue as to who this stranger was sitting before her.

"I'm Nitah, Jalil's second wife." The girl spoke as if being someone's second wife was some normal s.h.i.t. Nitah was so peaceful, though, and so soft-spoken. She was humble even in her jewels and looked like a queen. She was fully garbed, with a beautiful kemar covering her head.

"Where's dad?" she asked.

"He's probably at the hospital, with the funeral director and members of the Masjid. They are making the funeral arrangements for Quadir."

"I got to go there," Gena said, trying to get out of bed.

"You can't go. There is no one who can go there. Here, honey, just try to relax. I made some tea. Here, drink some. It'll make you feel better."

There isn't a G.o.dd.a.m.n thing that will make me feel better, thought Gena. She swallowed the prescribed sedative Nitah handed her, which happened to be the first of many.

Nitah was a wise woman; only sleep could fix some things. She knew Gena was only nineteen and this kind of trauma could damage her if it wasn't handled right. Poor thing, Nitah thought as she stroked Gena's forehead. She stayed by Gena's side until the funeral.

It was the hardest day of Gena's life. She hadn't been outside or seen anyone other than Nitah since Qua had been killed. The funeral was packed. Rik called Gena from the hospital room he laid in. He cried for her and for Quadir, but most of all for Lita. Gena had never heard a man cry, not even Quadir. She didn't know what to say; she didn't know what to do. She felt his pain, and she began crying with him, especially when he talked of Lita. She died that night. She got shot in the neck and Rik never saw her go down or nothing. He wasn't by her side and he never told her good-bye.

Gena could not see the splendor that the funeral director had arranged for the people who loved Quadir Richards. She only knew her legs wouldn't hold her up. She felt her belly sink some more and an aching pain twist at her insides as thoughts of him darted through her mind.

"He looks so fine," someone remarked.

No, she thought. He looks dead.

"The flowers are so beautiful," someone else replied.

The flowers smell like death, she thought. Someone was pulling at her, murmuring to her, "Gena, Gena, come on, baby. Sit down. You gonna hurt yourself. Please, come on."

She heard the person pulling at her tell people: "Please, please, she can't handle it. Never mind the condolences, she can't hear you." All Gena could hear was someone crying. So loud, and it hurt so bad. Her body could no longer hold her up, and she dropped in front of his casket to the floor.

Something's holding me. I can't feel nothin', but I'm standin'. How'd they do that? Then she forgot a lot for a time, and then she was outside, still standing, but not alone. It was pretty outside. We in the park. Look, there's birds. What's that noise?

The whirring sound of the casket being lowered into the ground registered and brought Gena out of her mental closet for a moment. Into that black hole went all of Gena's hopes, her babies, her life, her one true love. The only man who really loved her. And as his casket sunk deeper and deeper into the ground, her body sank into her grandmother's arms. Gah Git knew her baby would never be the same.

The weeks pa.s.sed, and Gena never once went outside. The day Rik was released from the hospital, he went to see her and stayed in the guestroom. Together, they took care of each other and listened to one another's stories about the good old days. Rik knew Gena was not the same. He wished she would come out her darkness. He tried everything from jokes to reminiscing about his own memories with Quadir, but nothing seemed to work.

And then, someone knocked at the back door. "You expecting somebody, Gena?"

"No."

Rik opened the back door to find Quadir's mother standing in the freezing cold.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," said Denise.

"How you feeling, Gena?" asked Viola, walking through the house into the living room no one was allowed in.

"I'm feeling better," said Gena. "Can I get you something?"