Mo Zichen couldn't say that he had absolutely no feelings for Qian Lan, but his emotions were relatively complex.
Sometimes, when he thought about the past, he would be filled with blame.
After the ceremony was over, Mo Zichen and Qian Lan returned to their apartments. But, when they each reached their own doorway, the two of them once again fell speechless.
"I'm going to go home first, I still have a lecture tomorrow."
Qian Lan nodded, "I need to report back to the troops tomorrow."
The couple were officially engaged, but for some reason, the distance between them grew even further.
This time, Mo Zichen did not want to be the initiator in the relations.h.i.+p. So, after returning home, he went to prepare for his next lecture as usual. But, later that night, after Mo Zichen finished his shower and crawled into bed, he suddenly heard his doorbell.
Mo Zichen walked over to the door, dressed in his pajamas and found Qian Lan standing in his doorway holding her luggage.
"I've thought about it. Since we're engaged...can I move over?"
Mo Zichen looked at Qian Lan and the way she was taking the lead like she used to and felt an indescribable pain in his heart. But, he still opened his door and let Qian Lan in.
"The guest room is empty, you can help yourself to whatever you need. Don't disturb me at night. Good night." After speaking, Mo Zichen did not take another glance at Qian Lan and headed straight into the master bedroom.
Qian Lan did not push her luck, instead, she put down her luggage and walked around to familiarize herself with the apartment.
Mo Zichen lived on his own for many years, but he always kept his home neat and tidy. There was a place for everything and everything was in its place. This was an obvious sign of OCD.
Afterwards, Qian Lan settled down in the guest room. Although she knew it was hard for Mo Zichen to get used to her suddenly moving in with him, at least he didn't kick her out.
But, for Qian Lan, apart from acting so shameless, there was nothing else she could do.
The next morning, Qian Lan headed off to the army base as she had mentioned, so by the time Mo Zichen woke up, Qian Lan was already gone.
The apartment now had her slippers and toiletries. On top of that, the cold and empty guest room was now filled with her clothes and work equipment.
Was this necessary? Mo Zichen wondered. Afterwards, he closed the guest room door, grabbed his lecture notes and headed to the university.
After that, a week pa.s.sed without any signs of Qian Lan. It was almost as if the events at the church was just a dream.
Mo Zichen returned to his normal life, completely unaffected by Qian Lan. He continued to do whatever he wanted, and sometimes, he would even spend an entire day in the library.
However, after his last lecture on Friday, Mo Zichen stepped out of the lecture theater with some textbooks in his hands and noticed some students standing outside the mathematics building pointing to a female army officer standing beside a military vehicle.
When Mo Zichen realized that it was Qian Lan, he immediately walked over to her, "Why are you here?"
"I wanted to go home, but I don't have the keys," Qian Lan replied.
"Mr. Mo, who's this?" one of Mo Zichen's student admirers asked with a hopeful look in her eyes. It seemed, she was hoping not to hear anything heartbreaking. However, Mo Zichen was an honest and straightforward person. Since he agreed to their engagement, he wasn't about to deny it.
"This is my fiancee!"
"Is your fiancee in the military?"
"How cool!" the surrounding students praised.
Mo Zichen did not respond as he boarded the car with Qian Lan.
"From now on, don't show up at school for no reason. I'll give you a copy of my keys."
"Did I embarra.s.s you?" Qian Lan asked as she drove.
"I like keeping a low profile," Mo Zichen replied coldly.
"Let's go home. I'm tired," Mo Zichen cut in before he returned his focus to the papers in his hands.
There was nothing that Qian Lan could do. So, she took a deep breath and drove Mo Zichen back to their apartment. The couple then entered the home, one after the other.
"I will be cooking some congee tonight, if you want some then let me know and I'll prepare some for you too. But, if you don't like it, then cook something yourself or order some takeaway." As soon as Mo Zichen arrived home, he changed into a fresh set of clothes and headed into the kitchen. When he finished cooking, he returned to the study room.
Qian Lan felt like an outsider because Mo Zichen practically treated her like she didn't exist.
Because of this, Qian Lan knocked on the study room door and leaned against the doorway, "Is this how you've lived the last 5 years?"
"I didn't deliberately save myself for you, but I never found anyone suitable either," Mo Zichen replied calmly.
"In that case, were you lying when you said what you did at the church?"
"Didn't you ask me to help you that day? By the way, you still owe me a thank you."
"You were never this unapproachable in the past."
"It's been 5 years. Everything that was meant to change, has changed, including me," Mo Zichen said as he lifted his head and looked at Qian Lan. "You should have an early night."
"Are we going to continue in this ambiguous way?"
"At least, I haven't lost my temper at you yet," Mo Zichen said before he lowered his head again.
Qian Lan's heart ached, but she accepted the situation.
After all, she had no idea what pains Mo Zichen went through after she broke up with him 5 years ago. Back then, she thought that decisively ending things was the best option for both of them.
But, if she had persevered a little longer until the Qian Family experienced the changes they went through, the two of them may not have missed out on 5 years.
Back then, Mo Zichen understood her helplessness, but now, he no longer did.
It seemed, the older he got, the harder it was for him to understand why a person would give up on love so easily.
However, simply looking on the surface, it was hard to tell that Mo Zichen had so much blame towards her.
But, Qian Lan understood that she couldn't expect Mo Zichen to immediately forgive her by simply apologizing and explaining that she gave up on their relations.h.i.+p due to the pressures from her family. Especially when she didn't even put in any effort.
So, she had to work hard to reignite Mo Zichen's affection for her.
To do this, Qian Lan began to take note of Mo Zichen's daily lifestyle and remembered all his habits.
Those with OCD, couldn't stand it when others put their life out of balance, so Mo Zichen followed the same routine every day.
It didn't take long before Qian Lan got a grasp of Mo Zichen's habits and knew exactly what time to keep her distance and what time she'd get the chance to see him.
She even learned how to cook a few of Mo Zichen's favorite dishes.
Mo Zichen wasn't oblivious to Qian Lan's efforts, but he still didn't know how to accept her.
He had some wounds in his heart that still needed healing. So, the more attentive Qian Lan was, the more fearful he was that he'd be abandoned him again one day.
However, Qian Lan was becoming more and more presumptuous at home. In fact...
...she even walked around the living room in just a s.h.i.+rt, revealing her long, slender legs...