"There is a great distinction between 'I know how you feel' and 'I feel how you feel,' wouldn't you agree?"

Katherine's eyes widened. "Yes, but . . . I see now. So that's it!"

"What?"

The other woman rubbed her cheek, leaving streaks of charcoal along the skin. "When I met Herm, the first thing I noticed about him was that he did not make me feel tired, the way many people do. He was so restful," she went on, shaking her head. "And after we married, it did not change. He made no demands on my emotions, but was just this good man. After a while I realized that he kept a tight rein on his feelings, that he was remote and secretive, but it did not matter because I loved him. He was my safe haven."

"And it never occurred to you that you might have chosen him because he was remote and distant? That you had some natural empathy, which is normal, but that you had an extra helping of it, shall we say, and that a husband who kept his feelings to himself was a real blessing?"

"No, not when you put it that way. Do you mean I don't really love him?"

"Of course not! The way the two of you look at each other has such love in it that no one could imagine you do not adore one another. But we all pick partners, or try to, who suit us. Mikhail and I . . . well, the first time we met we had this ridiculous argument, but I think both of us sensed that we were meant for each other. And we still fight, too."

"Really? Do you know, Herm and I rarely had any disagreements until we came to Darkover. Oh, there were a few times, and I lost my temper, but for the most part, it has been very nice."

Marguerida laughed again. "Then you are very blessed."

"Am I? I never thought about it like that. You have given me a great deal to consider, and I am not sure I am grateful, Marguerida."

"I didn't expect you to be, Katherine. But you still have not told me why you imagined that anyone would tell you tales that would frighten or amaze you." Marguerida wanted to move away from the subject of the Aldaran marriage as quickly as possible. She felt uncomfortable, that she was meddling where she had no business.

"It is probably cultural. On Renney we have a body of folklore that is hardly believable, and I schooled myself to be a skeptic even before I left there. One of your ancestors managed to survive in . . . what did you call it . . . a matrix array, but one of mine supposedly could shape-change into a large cat! I always thought that that story was something to keep us children from being wicked, and I hated it."

Marguerida smiled. "As far as I know, we don't have any shapechangers on Darkover."

"That's good! I don't think I could have stood that. I feel a little better now, but it probably won't last. I keep rocketing back and forth, between fear and rage and back again. And even though everyone has assured me that I am safe, that my mind will not be . . . explored by strangers, I don't believe it entirely. I hate it. And, more, I hate it that Herm has been lying to me for years and years." She snapped the slender stick of charcoal between her fingers and threw the pieces onto the floor.

Marguerida waited to see if Katherine would do more, considering her own next move with a kind of calculation that shamed her just a little. "If I said that your fear and rage were entirely reasonable, would that help?"

"A little." The admission seemed reluctant, as if she were unwilling to let go of the emotions.

"I was furious when I discovered I had the Alton Gift, Katherine. And there were times when I would have traded it for a warm bed and a good meal, or almost anything, except that it cannot be transferred or given away. Inherited, yes. Domenic has it, and Yllana, too."

"And Roderick?" Katherine was very curious, in spite of her fears.

"Rory does not have the Alton Gift, but seems to have gotten a variant of the Aldaran one."

"Oh, that! Herm told me it was the ability to see into the future, but I still find it hard to believe. If he had been able to really peer into tomorrow, he would have known we were going to come to Darkover, and at least have told me about it years ago. Wouldn't he?"

Marguerida shook her head. "It doesn't function like that. Yes, the Aldaran Gift is that of foresight, but it is rarely nice and clear. At least my own experience of it has never been very precise-I get a burst of information, all sort of jumbled, and then I have to try and figure out what it means. That often has turned out to be something other than I thought at the time. And what Rory has is kind of a backward version."

"Backward? You mean he can see the past?"

"Sort of. It is more than just psychometry, although that is part of it."

"Psychometry-now that one I have heard of. That's where someone can touch an object and tell how old it is, or something. It always sounded pretty far-fetched to me. But Rory's isn't exactly like that?"

"No, it isn't. He can pick up something and not only tell you how old it is, but a great deal about the history of the person who used the thing. There was a time when I thought it would be a wonderful skill for an archaeologist, and even considered sending Roderick off Darkover to study. But now I am glad I changed my mind, because I realize that such a talent could cause more trouble than it is worth, in places other than here."

Katherine looked thoughtful for a moment. "I think it would likely get him killed, if he were not careful. And from the little Amaury has told me, your son Rory is not a careful boy."

"No, that's true enough." Marguerida smiled and ran the fingers of her ungloved hand through her hair. "I have always been grateful that Domenic had a cautious disposition, and was not so hasty as Roderick." I never should have told Nico he could never surprise ice! "He would make the sort of ruler that causes ministers to go early to their graves."

"But Domenic will succeed Mikhail? I mean, there is no question about that?"

"Yes, he will, always assuming he lives long enough." Bite your tongue! Nothing is going to happen to Nico, and you are borrowing trouble again! "Fortunately, my mother-in-law is almost alone in her insistance that Nico is not a legitimate heir to my husband."

"But why? I have to say, Marguerida, that the little I have learned about Darkovan politics already is enough to drive me slightly mad, if I were not already well down that path on my own."

"Nonsense! You are perfectly sane. You have been plunked down in a situation for which you were totally unprepared, and which probably violates some of your ideas about the nature of reality. I know that mine were seriously unsettled during my first months on Darkover. My father kept so much from me, my history and my potential as a telepath, so I can make an educated guess as to how you feel." She sighed and then smiled a little. "I have almost forgiven him now. He was well-intentioned, but totally wrong. Not that I would have believed him, mind you, if he had sat me down and said, 'Marja, you may discover that you can read minds, and you must not be afraid,' or something equally logical. The problem is that human beings are not really logical."

Katherine seemed rather puzzled by this for a moment. "We aren't?"

Marguerida smiled and shook her head. "While I was at University, and afterward, I behaved in what seemed to me to be a logical manner. But I now realize that what I did was do things irrationally, and then after I would arrange the events in my mind so they seemed to follow some sort of reasonable path. That is not logic-it is wishful thinking, and involves rewriting one's own history as one goes along. Life is not logical-it just goes along happening, and the best anyone can do is try to deal with the present as well as they can."

"Very wise, and very difficult," Katherine replied thoughtfully.

"Yes, it is. And especially for someone as intelligent and strong-minded as I believe you are. Herm spoke of you as Kate during dinner, and I think I can make an educated guess . . ."

"As opposed to picking my brains, you mean?" Katherine's face underwent a transformation, going from serious to reflective to amused in only a second. "We met over a portrait I was doing, but the first thing we did together was attend a performance of The Taming Of The Shrew. A very poor production, but after that I was his Kate. But I never realized until a few days ago how like Petruchio Herm actually is! Not a fortune hunter, of course, since I haven't one. I mean, I have watched him connive for ten years now, and I always thought it was charming, the way he could manipulate his fellow Senators. Now I discover he was gulling me, too, deceiving me just like he did those men and women, and it isn't the least bit charming! I want to kick him in the shins!"

"Katherine, people deceive one another all the time, for much less important reasons than the safety of a planet. If a week goes by that Mikhail does not keep something from me that I believe I should be informed of, it is a miracle." Right now, he is closeted with my father and Danilo Syrtis-Ardais and Dani Hastur and who knows what other people, plotting and scheming, and when he tells me what he wishes to, I will have to pretend to be delighted.

"But, you could . . ."

"Yes, I could listen in-but I wasn't raised to be a snoop either! And I have to tread carefully, Katherine, because there are many who mistrust me, who think I have too much influence as it is, over my husband and my father." She looked down at her hands again. "I was granted a peculiar power, and Mikhail was given another-so between the two of us we can do remarkable deeds. There are quite a number of people who refuse to believe that we would never use what we have to force our wills on others-my mother-in-law among them. I think this is mostly because if she had the capacity, she would use it, and she cannot imagine that we would not." She sighed softly.

"But you haven't? It must be very hard to resist the temptation, Marguerida."

"No, not really. Oh, if I could turn Javanne into a toad, that might be pretty irresistible. Fortunately, laran doesn't function like that. It still follows all the rules of the universe."

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know-all that matter into energy stuff. With my particular laran, I can convert, with a great deal of effort, some matter into energy, or the other way around, and so can Mikhail. Hmm . . . I could, for instance, cause your tablet to burst into flame-well, in theory at least. I have never tried such a thing. But I can't turn my mother-in-law into something else."

"However much you might like to."

"Exactly. But everything in Darkover society comes down to keeping the various parties in a balance of powers. Otherwise we would tear the fabric of our culture to shreds. In the past, we have almost done just that, and the gifts that Mikhail and I possess are all too similar to things that come from our history for anyone's complete comfort. So I still have to act like a proper Darkovan female, and defer to the menfolk! All right-pretend to defer!" Marguerida felt her face redden with fury. She had to get a grip on herself before she said more. "I have learned to trust Mikhail to manage his part of the job, and to spend my energies doing mine. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life."

"Trust?"

"Do you trust Herm?"

"I did, until a week ago."

"No, Katherine, that is not what I mean. Do you think that your husband is a capable man, who can make decisions well?"

"Yes, he is that. Actually, he is so sharp it's a wonder he doesn't cut himself, as we say on Renney. And he hasn't done things in the past to make me worry. No mistresses or fiddling with the account books. But he isn't the same man I married any longer."

"Yes, he is. Herm is exactly the man you married, only now you are aware of a portion of him that you didn't imagine existed before. He is still a bit of a rascal, a charming fellow who cannot help being manipulative. No mistresses? He must love you very much."

"As far as I know, he has been a paragon of faithfulness. Oh, I've seen him flirt occasionally, but it was usually with Senators from other planets, whom he wanted to vote a certain way." She paused for a moment. "My Nana said he was like a cattle trader, always looking for a good purchase, feeling up the legs and checking the teeth."

"But did she think he was an honest trader?"

"Umm, not entirely. She said he had a secret, and that it was probably a wife and six children here. I think I would have been relieved if that had turned out to be the case. Another wife I could deal with. The six children would have been a bit of trouble, I suppose." She chuckled softly over the idea. "I could have been a wicked stepmother, after I poisoned the other wife, and drove the children into exile or something."

"Well, to be really truthful, Herm might indeed have some nedestro offspring up in the Hellers, although I think that Robert Aldaran or Gisela would probably have mentioned it to me if they knew of any. He was in his twenties when he left here, and likely he was not celibate. But it seems to me that you already knew he was concealing something from you, at some deep and almost instinctive level."

"Nedestro. I know the word, but I never really thought about the ramifications of it. Hmm . . . I guess I did know something was going on. Oh, Marguerida, I know I am being difficult. And maybe after a few years I will adjust to Darkover. But right now, I just want to scream with frustration."

"Go ahead. The walls of Comyn Castle have heard things over the centuries that would curl your hair. And do not hesitate to come to me when you are troubled, please. I want to help you."

"Thank you. I'll try. But it isn't easy for me, because I am not a confiding sort of woman. Actually, except for my Nana, I haven't ever found the company of my sex very interesting, and I don't make friends easily. I love my husband and my children, but truthfully, I am more comfortable with my pigments and brushes than with most other people. Hmm . . . if what you suggested a few minutes ago is real, and I am extra empathetic, it would explain a great deal."

Katherine looked at Marguerida for a moment after she stopped speaking, and realized that in time she might indeed become friends with her. It was a somewhat surprising realization, and it was followed by another-that her troubled sister-in-law had become another. Funny-two nights before Gisela would have been the last person she could imagine liking, but after their talk in the carriage, everything had changed. And now Herm was away on some mysterious errand, leaving her alone among strangers. That most of them were relatives of some kind made the whole thing even more difficult. She had better just stop fretting and start learning how to cope with Darkover! Kate had her children to think of, didn't she?

"I feel the same way about music. And I will take your words as a hint to go away and let you get on with what you are doing. I won't press you any further." She wanted to ask questions about Amedi Korniel, but decided that it would keep for the present. "Well, I do have a favor to ask you-two, really."

"What is it?"

"My son Roderick shows a certain talent for drawing-at least when he gets bored and can't think of any mischief to get into, he takes colored chalks and puts them on any wall he likes. They are rather pretty, even though I cannot allow them to remain. Could you bring yourself to tutor him a bit?"

"I would be happy to. And the other favor?"

"Do you think you might ask Gisela to sit for a portrait? I know you did not get off to a good start, but she is so unhappy, and I believe it would please her."

Katherine gave Marguerida a bemused look, with something secretive but not unpleasant in it. "She would make an excellent subject," was all the answer she gave, but her dark eyes glinted with interest.

"Fine. And now I will leave you to work. I will see you later in the day."

Marguerida was rather puzzled as she left Katherine's studio. But she was satisfied that she had eased some of Kate's fears, and let the matter go from her mind. She had not gone ten feet down the corridor before all her own concerns rushed back. Katherine had distracted her for a brief while, and she realized that she had gotten as much relief from the visit as she had given. She had to wait, to be patient. It was very hard to be a middle-aged woman with duties, when she really wanted to rush off and do something-anything! And then the grief returned, as if it had been waiting to capture her emotions once more. "Damn you for dying, Regis. Your timing was off for once," she muttered, and felt her eyes go blurry with fresh tears.

Katherine did not return to her sketching after Marguerida left, but sat and stared out the window, thinking about what had been said in a disordered sort of way. Her mind was tired and she knew that she could not make sense of anything right away, which irritated her greatly. Talk to Ida Davidson, Marguerida had said. It sounded simple and sensible, but Kate was not sure she could just walk up to a total stranger and voice her concerns. No, she would wait for a while and see what happened. But it was good to know that she was not the only inhabitant of Comyn Castle who was frustrated and angry.

For a time she considered the matter of empathy. That was a normal human trait, wasn't it? And yet on Darkover it seemed to be something more-one of these Gifts that people kept mentioning. She could endure being empathic, she supposed. Marguerida's explanation sounded plausible at least.

When another knock came at the door, she could not decide whether she was glad or annoyed at a further distraction. "Come in."

It was Gisela, looking a little shy and wary of her welcome. She was wearing a russet tunic and darker skirt, not dissimilar from the clothing she had brought Katherine the previous day. "Hello. Am I interrupting you terribly?"

"Not at all. I was just woolgathering." Had Marguerida told Gisela to come so quickly? Katherine was not ready to start a portrait yet-she would require something for the model to sit on, and there was only the stool-but she could make a few sketches.

"Good." Gisela looked her up and down. "Kate, why are you wearing a riding skirt?"

"Is that what this is?" Kate tugged at the folds of her lower garment. "I was looking for something comfortable, that wouldn't show the dirt. Is it improper?"

"No, not exactly, but it looks rather eccentric with an apron!" She gave a little giggle, then sobered. "I hardly slept last night."

"I am sorry about that."

"Don't be! I was thinking about what you said in the carriage and I was just too excited to close my eyes until nearly dawn. Are you well, Kate? You look like you did not get much more sleep than I did."

"Yes, I am fine." Katherine repressed a yearning to talk to Gisela about Herm. She liked her new sister-in-law, but she was not yet sure how trustworthy she was. "It is just taking me a while to get adjusted to Darkover, I think."

"You seem worried."

"Do I?"

"Still fussing about people poking into your mind?"

"Yes, a little, I suppose." With a slight start, Katherine realized she had managed to go for nearly half an hour without thinking about that problem at all. How unkind of Giz to remind her of it.

"Well, don't." She hesitated again, shuffling her feet back and forth under her long skirts. "Can I show you something?"

Katherine looked at her, and now she noticed that she could sense something of the mood of the other woman. It was very odd, and she felt very uncomfortable for a moment. But all that she could feel was excitement in Gisela, with none of the other darker emotions Kate now realized she had noticed on the previous day. How much, she wondered, of this sort of thing had she refused to acknowledge over the years? Maybe Marguerida was right. "Certainly, as long as it is not something horrid."

Gisela looked stricken and shook her head. "Kate, I swear to you that I will never do anything mean again! I want you to be my friend! I need you to be my friend!" Tears glistened in the vivid green eyes and she trembled.

Katherine set aside her sketchpad and stood up slowly, moved and just a little frightened by this outburst. Then she crossed the space separating them and put her arm around Gisela's shoulders. She could smell the faint scent of lavender in the cloth and some perfume as well. "There, there. Don't cry, dear. Marguerida just asked me to do your portrait," she added, frantically trying to think of some way to stem the wave of despair that was wracking her sister-in-law and grasping at the first thing that came to mind.

"Really? And did you tell her you already asked me to sit for you?"

"No, I didn't. She thought it would please you, and I didn't wish to . . ."

Gisela straightened against her. "That was very kind of her, wasn't it? After everything?"

"I think that Marguerida is probably a very kind person, Gisela, and genuinely wants everyone around her to be happy."

Gisela wiped her eyes with her handkerchief. "She hasn't had much luck with me, has she?" There was a rueful tone to her voice. "Do you know how much time I have wasted hating her?"

"No, and I really don't want to."

"Good-because it makes me very ashamed. And I don't like that at all." She sighed, shrugged her shoulders under Kate's light embrace, then made a comical face. "You see before you a reformed Aldaran."

Impulsively, Kate took Gisela's chin in her hand, looked intently into her face, and said, "Yes, I can see the virtue almost seeping from your pores."

To her delight, Gisela giggled. "There is not another person, even Rafael, I would let tease me like that, dearest sister. Somehow, from you, it does not hurt."

"I am glad of that. Now, you were going to show me something." Katherine released Gisela, finding that she was not entirely at ease with the intimacy of contact. Is this why I paint portraits then, to be close but not too close?

Gisela plunged her hand into her beltpouch and took out a small object. "It was in my jewelry box, and I remembered it when I was getting dressed this morning." She opened her hand. A little figure, about six inches in length, lay across her palm. The wood was dark with age, and the carving was crude, but it was powerful nonetheless. "It is the last thing I made before my nurse . . . made me stop."

Kate took the small figure and turned it over. She noticed how Gisela had used the grain of the wood to good advantage, only removing enough to suggest folds of cloth below, and a face above that was simple but moving. On the back of the carving, there was still some bark left, rough and dark. She could see the marks left by some crude instrument, not a carver's chisel but something less deft. One of the belt knives that everyone seemed to wear, Kate suspected, and not a very good tool for the job demanded of it.

"I don't think you need to worry much about being good, Giz. Any sculptor I know would have been pleased to make this."

"Thank you."