whole regiment?" Claudia teased him.

"No, not for guests," Garth returned before warning her huskily, "You don't think we're going to stop at this one, do you? Not now I know how easy it is--and how enjoyable. Do you know... you actually felt different the night this--' his hand covered her stomach '--happened?"

"Garth," Claudia protested, "I forgot to take my pill for three nights and--' " No," Garth interrupted, shaking his head.

"I know exactly when it was--it was the evening we came back from my parents, when I... when we--' " You were very deep inside me that time," Claudia broke in, her voice as husky with emotion as his.

"Very deep," Garth agreed, adding as he drew her fully into his arms, "God, but we're lucky."

Contentedly, Claudia snuggled up against him. She couldn't imagine being any happier than she was right now, but instinctively she knew that she would be, once their baby was born. A feeling of such intense excitement and joy welled up inside her that it made her wriggle slightly against Garth, an expression of sheer bliss illuminating her face.

"Now, what brought that on?" Garth asked her. He moved against her and she felt the hardness of his arousal.

"This...?" he added hopefully.

"No, not that," Claudia answered truthfully.

"I was thinking about the baby. Oh, Garth, I'm so happy ... we're so lucky..."

"Mmm.. / Garth agreed, reaching for her hand and placing it firmly against his body.

/MmrnL . Isee. "

Having come to the end of his speech informing the colonel that he intended to leave the regiment, Garth watched as his commanding officer stood up and went to stand in front of the window, hands clasped behind his back.

A tall, spare man in his fifties, the colonel came from a long line of military men, but even he was not completely immune to the cultural changes taking place in the current decade. His own son, ex-Eton and destined to follow him into the regiment, had decided that he preferred to travel to India and sit at the feet of some guru. There had been arguments about it, of course, but nothing could persuade the boy to change his mind. The boy, in his father's opinion, looked more like a girl with his long hair and peculiar clothes, and the colonel wasn't alone. Only the previous week he had been with a fellow Etonian whose own son had been due to follow him into the Guards; instead, the boy had joined a pop group.

"The regiment will be sorry to lose you," he told Garth, turning to face him and adding, 'and so shall I. "

Silently, Garth expelled his pent-up breath. It was no secret in the regiment that the CO had been a bit sticky recently. Word had it that the disappointment he had suffered over his son had put a distinctly sharp edge to his always somewhat choleric temper. But he was a fair man, honest and just, and Garth liked and respected him.

"I'd like to leave before the baby arrives," Garth requested. The regiment was due to be home based for the following six months, which would allow him to take sufficient leave to sort out his and Claudia's house move and it made sense to Garth that he would have at least a couple of months to settle into his new professional life before their son or daughter arrived, and it was for that reason as he told the colonel that he had hoped to quit the regiment in three months' time.

"I don't see any reason why not. You're coming to the end of your term with us and we can't force you into signing on for a further period of time," the colonel remarked.

It was a matter of honour for Garth, both as an individual and as a soldier aware of his rank, not to leave when the regiment was about to be posted overseas or sent into the field. He was only glad that the regiment was not due for another tour of duty in Northern Ireland for some time--not so much for the danger that this entailed, at least not for himself. No, it was Claudia he was thinking of. She had dealt calmly and practically with his recent tour of duty in Belfast, but even so he had sensed her anxiety and concern and he knew how much greater that would be now that she was carrying their child.

After she was over the first shock of discovering her pregnancy, he could see how much her forthcoming role as a mother thrilled and delighted her. It wasn't just her body that had ma and Betray 173 tured, ripened with the conception of their child. Claudia herself had grown, too. Some women seemed by nature more maternal, more nurturing and caring, more suited perhaps to be mothers than others and Claudia was most definitely one of them.

Even now. Garth sensed that their child, once it had arrived, would automatically lay claim to Claudia's loyalty and love--and she would bestow these un stintingly--but he didn't see any reason to feel threatened or dismayed by the idea. Why should he? He, too, shared Claudia's joy, enjoyed the glow of fulfilment that prospective motherhood had brought her.

Claudia had never felt happier. She hadn't told them officially at work yet that she would be handing in her notice, but she suspected that they must know. Not even Katriona's acid sniping had the power to affect her any more. She had even suggested to the girl that since she seemed to have nothing but criticism for the way Claudia was handling her case, she might prefer to be dealt with by someone else, but Katriona, who seemed to have developed a love-hate relationship with her, flatly refused, flying off the handle and accusing Claudia of wanting to walk out on her and not having time for her any more now that she was pregnant.

The time would come, of course, when Claudia would have to hand over the case to someone else, but at the back of Claudia's mind was the knowledge that despite her ferocity, de n spite the fact that Claudia knew that Katriona deliberately tried to needle and upset her, the girl was very vulnerable. Claudia didn't want to be yet another person who had turned her back on her, and besides. Furiously though she might deny it, Katriona was becoming increasingly dependent on drugs--and increasingly at risk physically.

"She'll be dead within a year," Janice had remarked brutally the last time she had accompanied Claudia on a visit to the squat.

"You mark my words. I've seen it happen with her type before. For a long time, they seem to be able to withstand the abuse they're subjecting their bodies to, and then suddenly, they're gone."

Claudia's footsteps quickened as she hurried down the street. She had a lunch appointment with one of the estate agents in the city who also had branches in the country.

A happy smile curled her mouth. Garth had warned her that they wouldn't be able to afford anything grand, but something grand wasn't what she wanted. What she wanted was a house that would be a proper home, a house with a large, comfortable kitchen and a big garden for their children to play in. Their children. Blissfully, she closed her eyes. She was just so. so. happy.

Even her morning sickness brought its own peculiar sense of pleasure, reaffirming as it did the reality of her pregnancy.

What she felt was impossible to describe or explain. What she felt was a sense of . of rightness, of completeness, of fulfilment. What she knew was that the prospect of motherhood made her feel that she had suddenly discovered the true purpose of her life. She loved Garth, of course, but instinctively she knew that the love she would have for their children would be the strongest and most powerful emotion she would ever know.

Bleakly, Garth stared out across the silent barracks yard. It was a good hour since they had heard the news, a shock that still hadn't fully sunk in. The enduring conflict in Northern Ireland had claimed many lives, both Catholic and Protestant, and now another tragedy had occurred.

A coach load of British soldiers on their way to their depot had been ambushed on an isolated Northern Irish road. Out of the fifty-odd men travelling in the coach, there had been only eight survivors, and all of them so badly maimed that even if they survived. Impossible not to suffer that churning stab of dread to the stomach coupled with a guilty relief that it was not oneself lying dead on that country road or, even worse, lying on a hospital bed with what was left of one's shattered and destroyed body. It would take much more of a miracle than modern medicine could provide to piece back together a body whose limbs had been blown off.

He hadn't known personally any member of that other regiment but that didn't matter. They might have their regimental rivalries and jealousies, but underneath them, they were all army. They were all vulnerable; it could have been any of them.

"They'll have to bring back the rest of the regiment now," one of the other officers had commented to Garth when the news had broken.

"They can't leave them out there after this. It would be bad for morale.

Heaven help whoever they send out to take their place. I hope to God it isn't us. Anything like this makes the men damned jittery and that's when. "

He didn't say any more. He didn't need to. Garth was aware of the psychology of good morale as any other responsible and intelligent officer.

"You don't think we will be sent out in replacement, do you?" he asked instead, frowning at the prospect.

"Hard to say. We've got the training and the experience, but it isn't that long since we completed our last tour of duty."

Garth frowned again, recalling their conversation. In a matter of weeks he would be leaving the regiment, his intention being to view some of the houses Claudia had weeded out of the possibilities sent to her by the estate agents and then spend some time getting to know the ropes of his new job before the birth of their baby.

Claudia was now four months pregnant but her stomach was not yet beginning to show. Garth's frown changed to a smile as he remembered how the last time he had been on leave she had proudly showed him the maternity clothes she had bought. He hoped they weren't being sent out to Northern Ireland. If they were, he would feel honour bound to go.

"But... but you said that you weren't due to do another tour in Northern Ireland," Claudia faltered as they sat side by side on their small sofa.

When Garth had telephoned to say he was coming home unexpectedly, her first thought was that now he could come with her to see the pram she was thinking of ordering; the very last thing on her mind was that he would have the kind of news for her that he had just given her.

"We weren't," he agreed quietly.

"But there's been a change of plan."

No need to remind her of the month-old tragedy that was now, in media terms at least, stale news, but Claudia wasn't an army daughter for nothing.

"It's because of the bombing, isn't it?" she guessed immediately.

"They're sending you out because they've had to recall that regiment."

"Yes," Garth replied, his tone sombre.

"Oh, Garth, but surely you don't need to go. You've only got a few weeks left and--' " You know better than that, Clo/ Garth reminded her.

"I can't let the men down, and if I don't go..."

"Yes, I know," she conceded heavily.

Northern Ireland. Claudia shivered with foreboding. Every army wife dreaded hearing the news that her husband's regiment had been posted there, but normally Claudia would have tried her best to keep her fears to herself. This time, though, it was different. This time. She forced herself not to break down completely and beg Garth not to go, remind him that it wasn't just her he had to consider now.

But Garth it seemed had read her mind.

"I know what you must be thinking," he told her gently, 'and don't think I haven't thought it, too, but this is something I have to do, Clo. "

Numbly, she nodded her reluctant agreement, swallowing hard before asking him, "When... when do you leave?"

"The end of next week."

Claudia closed her eyes.

That night after they had made love, instead of turning over to lie on her side as she normally did, she remained curled up against Garth, clinging to him even in her sleep, afraid to let him go.

"Look, darling, why don't you come to us for the weekend?" Claudia's mother suggested when her daughter telephoned her to tell her the news.

"We could do some shopping together for the baby."

Claudia agreed, and Garth, when she told him about the invitation, was pleased that she would have something to help take her mind off worrying about him.

Garth's regiment was scheduled to leave for Northern Ireland on Friday afternoon. On Friday morning, Claudia went to check on Katriona, but her anxiety over Garth made it hard for her to concentrate fully on the girl, a fact that Katriona very quickly picked up on.

At first, she accused Claudia of not paying any attention to her and then when that didn't provoke Claudia's normal concerned response, she demanded tauntingly, "What is it? Not had a row with darling, wonderful Garth, have we?"

"Nothing's happened," Claudia denied, 'and we have not had a row. "

"Oh, coming home this weekend, is he?" Katriona mocked her.

"No, he isn't," Claudia returned shortly.

"Oh, poor you, you'll be all on your own," Katriona mocked her.

"No, as a matter of fact, I shan't. I'm going to see my parents," Claudia told her.

What time was it? Would Garth have left yet, or would she just have time to ring him before he did? If she could only manage to get away from Katriona. What time was it anyway? She glanced at her wrist and then remembered that she wasn't wearing her watch. She had put it in her handbag because the strap had broken. Unfastening her bag, she reached inside, unaware of the furiously resentful and bitter expression in Katriona's eyes as she realised that Claudia wasn't really listening to her.

Smug bitch. who did she think she was anyway? What made her think she was so special . so wonderful?

A scuffle broke out in the corridor outside Katriona's room, and while Claudia's attention was distracted, Katriona reached forward and deftly removed the keys she could see gleaming in Claudia's handbag.

By the time Claudia looked back, Katriona had the keys tucked safely away out of sight. It gave her a sense of triumph and power to have taken them and gleefully she imagined Claudia's reaction when she discovered they were gone.

Served her right. Katriona fingered the keys she had tucked beneath her skirt. What did the flat she shared with her precious Garth look like? Katriona already knew where it was; she had sneaked a look at Claudia's driving licence one day when Claudia's attention had been distracted and it had been easy enough for her to memo rise it. And now she had the keys, and Claudia didn't even know.

An hour before Garth's regiment was due to leave, one of the men was found hanging in his room. He had taken his own life rather than face the fear of what the next few months might hold.

It was impossible to keep it a secret, of course, and just as impossible to allow the regiment to go. Rearrangements were hastily made to find a substitute regiment to send out in Garth's regiment's place.

"Look, why don't you go home and see your wife?" Garth's commanding officer suggested.

"There's nothing any of us can do here now.

There'll have to be an enquiry, naturally. Not that we need one to tell us that the poor sod was so shit scared of suffering the same fate as the men he would be replacing, that he chose to take his own life rather than let some bomber do it for him. "

Numbly, Garth did as he suggested. He hadn't wanted this particular assignment, but to be reprieved from going by something like this. As he drove towards London, he tried to imagine what the young squaddie must have gone through in those last hours before he had decided to take his own life. Why hadn't any of them realised. guessed. Garth could picture the boy now. Tow-headed, tall, his body still possessing the angularity of youth. He had been a quiet lad, almost inarticulate, and the others had ribbed him a bit because he had a stammer. Well, they wouldn't be ribbing him any longer.

Furiously, Garth punched the car horn when another driver cut in front of him. Suddenly, he couldn't wait to get home to Claudia. It was only when he parked the car outside the flat that he remembered that Claudia wouldn't be there.

Grim-faced, he unlocked the door to the flat, and without even bothering to take off his coat, he opened the cupboard and removed the bottle of whisky his father had given him the last time they visited.

Garth had never been a heavy drinker, but right now he felt the need for a good stiff drink. for several good stiff drinks. He was halfway down the bottle before it struck him that he ought to have something to eat, but Claudia, good housewife that she was, had carefully cleaned out the fridge before she left.

The whisky had begun to take effect, and although he found a tin of baked beans. Garth could only stare owlishly at it while he wondered vaguely where the tin-opener was kept.

In the end, it seemed easier to simply pour himself another drink.

That poor little sod. Garth put his hand to his own neck and rubbed it as though he could actually feel the rope tightening round his own flesh, choking the life out of him.

He was getting very drunk, he recognised. Perhaps he ought to go to bed. He was, after all, soon to be a father. Unlike the lad who had done away with himself this morning. He would never be a father, but he had had a father. How had he felt when they had broken the news to him? How would he feel if anyone ever had to tell him that his son, his very own child, had committed suicide? Garth paused in the act of undressing to pour himself another drink.

He had been the first officer on the scene, summoned there by the private who had found the body. He had seen death before, but this had been different.

Garth filled up another glass before dragging off the rest of his clothes, which he left lying where they fell before crawling into bed and spilling some of his whisky on the bedclothes as he did so. God, but he wished that Claudia was here with him. That poor little sod.

His face felt damp, but it was only when he raised his hand to touch his skin that he realised that he was crying.

Gloatingly, Katriona fingered Claudia's keys. Had she missed them yet?

Had she guessed where they were? Katriona doubted it; she had been too busy thinking about her damn bloody husband and her bloody baby to notice what Katriona was doing. Bloody, bloody baby. For a moment, Katriona was tempted to hurl the keys through the open window of her room, but then she stopped herself, gripping them tightly as she brooded on Claudia's shortcomings.

She was the one Claudia was supposed to be concentrating on. She was the one who needed help. who needed her. That Claudia thought she was so clever, so secure in her precious little world. Bitch. Katriona hated her . hated her.

The drug she had injected earlier was starting to wear off. It wore off frighteningly quickly these days, or at least it would have been frightening if Katriona was the type of person to allow herself to be frightened, which she wasn't. She wasn't frightened of anything or anyone. Not the punters who paid her for their inept use of her body; not the pimps who tried to threaten her and make her work for them; not even the dealers who supplied her with drugs.

And if she wasn't afraid of them, she most certainly wasn't afraid of someone like "Miss Smarty-pants." It was pathetic, really, the way she doted on that husband of hers, the way she believed in him. All men were shits, Katriona knew that. Given half a chance, no, less than half a chance, he'd be just like all the rest, led by his balls and not his brains.

Katriona fingered the keys again. Her dealer had recently put up the cost of supply; he knew n how desperate she was for her fix now. He was trying to trick her, to trap her into giving in to the pimp who was persuading her to work for him, telling her that she needed his protection, that he could guarantee her an income for her habit, that if she worked for him she would never need to worry again about finding her own punters. Balls, she didn't worry about rinding them now. Why should she? She would have to go out working tonight. She frowned as she studied Claudia's keys, remembering that Claudia had said she was going to be away for the weekend. Which meant that the flat would be empty. which meant. Unsteadily, Katriona got to her feet.

"Where are you going?"

one of the other girls yelled out after her as she staggered down the stairs.

"It's too early yet to go out looking for business."

"Mind your own," Katriona snarled viciously at her as she opened the flat door and blinked in the sharp, clear, late-afternoon daylight.