Unlocking the door, I swung it open and Maddy swept by me, pulling off her parka and spinning it onto one of the Biedermeier chairs. "My G.o.d, this is gorgeous," she said taking in the mahogany paneling and the silk wall covering.

"We'll you're the one who wanted to work her way up to First Cla.s.s. Congratulations, you made it."

"In more ways than one," she said, a sly grin on her face.

She flew into my arms then, knocking me back onto the bed with a flood of giggles. She was reaching for my belt when Henry came out of the adjoining room carrying my folded laundry. I had to hand it to him, he handled any embarra.s.sment he may have felt with aplomb, and far better than Maddy and I did. We sat up like two guilty teenagers, smoothing our clothes, our eyes darting about the room, as if we expected our mothers to burst in on us next.

Without so much as breaking stride, Henry placed the clothes on the dresser and moved toward the door. "Will you be requiring me anytime before lunch, sir?" he asked, his eyebrows arched.

"Uhh, I think not, Henry."

"Very good, sir."

With that, he left, clicking the door shut behind him.

Maddy looked at me, then burst out laughing, tears streaming from her eyes, her arms clutching her abdomen.

"Oh, G.o.d, that hurts," she said, giggling.

By now, I was laughing, too, and our mirth fed off each other as we rolled about on the bed. Gradually our mood shifted, the laughing ceased, and we gazed into each other's eyes across a gulf of uncertainty.

This time, it was I who took the lead, my lips meeting hers with a tenderness I'd never felt for anyone before. Kissing her felt so natural, as if we'd been doing it for years, and yet it was fresh and exciting and new.

I went to undress her and she stopped me. "No, I want to undress you, first."

I nodded and watched, my arousal growing while she stripped me piece by piece, always making sure to kiss each portion of me that was exposed. It felt so d.a.m.ned good my jaw ached from gritting my teeth.

And what made it even more pleasurable was seeing the delight in her eyes.

I drew her to me, kissed her and said, "Now, it's my turn."

When I reached for her, she drew back, fearful again. "What's wrong, Maddy? Whatever it is, we can get past it."

She sat up, her lip trembling.

"I'm not so sure you can, Trevor."

"Seeing as how we're here, what have we got to lose?"

She opened her mouth to speak then closed it. I could see the wheels of her mind turning my words round and round, trying to find a way around their logic. She eased herself from the bed, kicked off her shoes, and began unb.u.t.toning her blouse. Just as the last b.u.t.ton came undone, she turned and presented me with her back. Next came her pants and her socks. Now, all that were left were her bra.s.siere and panties, black lacy affairs that looked as if they'd come from the Victoria's Secret catalog.

She still stood facing away from me, her slim, athletic body enticing me; and every fiber of my being urged me to go to her, but I refrained.

Whatever precipice she faced in her mind, she had to make the leap herself, or not at all.

Finally, I saw her exhale a deep breath and turn, a look of awful expectation on her face. Her body was exceptional, well-proportioned and toned. But it only took a fleeting glance to see the root of all her fears: a livid scar nearly half an inch wide ran down the center of her chest between her b.r.e.a.s.t.s down to her navel, then curved around her left side, stopping just shy of her back. I could also see marks where, instead of conventional sutures, staples were used to hold the ma.s.sive incision closed.

She watched every nuance on my face, her eyes wide with dread. I was shocked, certainly, but not in the way one might expect. And I didn't react, at least not as she must have antic.i.p.ated. Instead of gasping, or looking repulsed, something that would have shattered her, I held out my hand, my eyes locked with hers.

"Come here," I said.

Maddy's eyes flooded with tears and she ran to me, encircling my neck in a tight embrace. "I didn't want to be ugly for you, Trevor," she said, sobbing.

I lifted her chin with my hand and kissed her forehead, her nose, and then her mouth. "You could never be ugly, Maddy, not ever."

And then she gave herself to me....

I can't remember how long we made love, time having ceased to have any meaning while in each other's arms. But afterward, with the afternoon sun slanting through the windows, I lay in the crook of her arm, listening to her breathing as she slept. Soon, my own fatigue overcame my desire to remain awake and I drifted off into a restless slumber. This time, however, the vague dreams I'd experienced over the last two nights sharpened into disturbing clarity....

Maddy and I were exploring the bowels of the ship moving through the engine room and the holds. She was giddy with excitement, pulling me toward the bow with an ever-increasing sense of urgency.

For me, the closer we drew, the more I dreaded what we would find there. I tried to pull her back, but she just laughed and dragged me onward, her strength that of someone superhuman.

Finally, after traveling through a labyrinth of cargo holds, far more than actually existed, I found myself once again before that locked and guarded watertight door. Only this time, the one guarding it was Cerberus, the three-headed dog of Hades, its six eyes burning coals.

And when it saw me, it howled, its tri-tone voice the screams of uncounted souls in torment.

Behind it the watertight door glowed red, as if superheated, pulsing with an unholy life of its own. Maddy looked at me and smiled, her eyes now surrounded by dark circles, her skin stretched tight on her skull.

"Don't you want to go in, Trevor?" she asked, cackling like a witch. "Don't you want to know what's there?"

"NO!" I screamed, though my voice sounded far away, as if I were at the end of a very long tunnel.

I turned to run, stopping dead in my tracks when I realized the way we'd come in was now a solid bulkhead of steel. The only way out was through the watertight door. Suddenly, the door dimmed and cracked open. Noxious smoke poured out, smelling of brimstone.

"Go in, Trevor, you know you want to," the Maddy-thing said. Her hair had turned to writhing snakes, and her tongue, oil-black and forked, slithered in and out of her mouth.

And then, I heard a sweet ethereal sound coming from behind me.

I turned and saw Julia standing clothed in the raiments of an angel, suffused with a light so beautiful it made me ache with desire.

"Come back, Trevor," Julia said. "There's nothing for you here."

Desperate, I reached out to Julia, only to have the Maddy-thing pull me back, her grip burning my skin like acid. I screamed in agony.

"JULIA! HELP ME! JUUUULIA!"

I bolted awake, bathed in a sheen of sweat, another scream dying on my lips.

Maddy held me, rocking me back and forth, her voice a comforting murmur: "It's all right, Trevor, it's all right. It's only a dream! You're awake, and I'm here...."

For a moment, it took all of my will not to push her away, the image of her as Medusa still fresh within my mind. And then the spell broke and I shook my head, laughing at the absurdity of it. "Christ, that was awful. I haven't had nightmares like that since I was a kid, and my mother let me stay up and watch Dante's Inferno on television."

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

I shook my head to clear away the last tendrils of fog from my brain; the horrific images and feelings were already fading. Just to be sure, however, I let my eyes roam over the suite. Everything looked the same, the mahogany paneling, brocaded wall covering, the st.u.r.dy bedposts, all of it solid, real.

"I don't know if I should," I said finally, wiping the sweat from my eyes. "You were in it, and it wasn't pretty."

"Who's Julia?"

I looked at her then, no longer disturbed by the mythological transformation she'd undergone during my nightmare.

"I talked?"

"Very eloquently, I might add." She laughed. "Come on, it might help to talk it out."

"Now, you sound like Julia."

"I do, huh?"

"Yes. She's a clinical psychologist. I've known her for about five years."

"Are you in love with her?"

I shot her an incredulous look.

"Don't look so shocked. It's a legitimate question."

"I'm in love with you."

Maddy smiled and kissed me. "And I you. But you haven't answered my question."

"Come on, Maddy, how can you even ask me that? After what we've just done."

She laughed again.

"You really are a stick-in-the-mud, aren't you?"

"A what?"

"Oh, you really should see the look on your face, Trevor, it's priceless." She giggled and I became annoyed.

"You mind if I ask you a question? Are you out of your mind?"

"Trevor, I'm as sane as you are, just not as hung up. I happen to believe you can love more than one person at a time. You love your parents, don't you?"

"Yes, but that's different-"

"Not the essential emotion. Tell me more about Julia."

I shook my head, suddenly uncomfortable. "I don't think that's such a great idea."

"For you, or me."

"Both."

She held up her hand, putting a solemn look on her face, though I could see a hint of amus.e.m.e.nt around the corners of her eyes. "I promise I will not throw a jealous scene over Julia, now or ever. How about that? Does that ease your mind?"

I shrugged. "Well, I-maybe a little."

"Good, now tell me about her."

"Yes, Ms. Freud. That's what I called her whenever she became too a.n.a.lytical about our lives...."

I spent the next ten minutes filling Maddy in about her rival, and I found it became easier and easier to reveal things I would never have thought possible about my relationship with Julia. I wound it up by telling her about our last fight over Harlan's t.i.tanic, my intention to sail on her, and Julia's fear.

"...So, I guess she had every right to be afraid," I said. "I met you."

"And you're still in love with her."

"How can you say that, Maddy? I don't even know if I was ever in love with her to begin with. And with you there is no doubt."

"I say it because I hear it in the way you speak about her, the words you use...and the feelings behind them."

"That's because I'm a writer."

"No. It's because you're a lover."

"All right, all right, I give up, I concede. You're right. I do care for her. But not in the same way I care for you. You're not like anyone I've ever known, Maddy."

She smiled, remaining silent.

"What about you?" I said, turning the tables. "Is there someone else?"

"Yes."

Her simple answer held complex repercussions for me, and I was quite unprepared to hear her say that. I was about to respond when a knock sounded on the door.

"Yes, who is it?"

The answer came, slightly m.u.f.fled by the thick, solid door. "It's Henry, sir. May I come in?"

"Uhh, I don't think it's such a great idea, Henry."

Maddy giggled, burying her face in the pillow.

"I think, sir, that you might change your mind when you see what I've brought."

I threw the covers over us.

"All right, come in."

The door swung open and Henry wheeled in a linen-draped cart, pushing it into the middle of the room. He immediately set about transforming it into a beautifully set table for two, replete with china, silverware, and two burning candles. The food consisted of two covered plates, which he removed from a warming box under the table.

Both Maddy and I watched him work with admiration and a growing appet.i.te. My stomach growled when the tempting odors escaping from under the covers reached my nostrils.

"Henry, you're a real piece of work," I said, smiling.