Everybody, please check the FAQ first before asking me questions.

Thank you for your consideration, guys!

I-, Ill just say it as it is As if! You think I would, idiot!

Honestly, I think Im about to go crazy. Thanks to Or&friends stupid actions, were as good as public enemy number one. Tying up a VIP like this isnt something as simple as obstruction of duty anymore. If this gets out, everybody involved is going to be sent to the gallows.

No, hang on, perhaps well be lynched by the citizens of the Capital first. Teheh

Considering what they did, even if the rest of us claim innocence, nobody will listen. Theyre definitely going to think of us as allies. Or rather, if were looking for the ringleader, isnt that me, as the Evil God?

Oh my god.

But even though were in such a crazy situation, Or doesnt seem to realise it at all. Instead, his face is saying Im amazing, right? Praise me, praise me!

Huu, is this guy an idiot? Is he a retard?

I want to hit him in the face this very instant, but this isnt the time for that. I have to break through this situation somehow.

I stared hard at Remilia-san.

That gallant and noble Remilia-san was now lying on the floor, bound by rope.

Aaahh, how pitiful. I bet she would never have dreamed that shed be taken hostage by a bunch of idiots like this. To have been caught by these guys, her fight with the demons must have been incredible. Her stamina is probably close to zero. After all, shes wounded all over, and looked heavily injured.

You can tell from that alone, just how intense the fight must have been

Mn!? Or rather, if we dont hurry and treat her, wont things turn bad?

Shes bleeding out even now. The puddle of blood under her is turning incredible.

T-, This is bad. Remilia-san is going to die!

Awawawa, what am I dawdling here for when my future girlfriend is going to die!

Timu, please hurry and Heal her!

Heal this elf?

Yes, hurry!

Fumu, I understand.

T-, That cant be Even though we spent so long to catch her

You idiot! Oneesama clearly has some plan behind this. Ortissio, you have no standing to butt in!

M-, My deepest apologies for the shallowness of my thoughts.

Timu rebuked Or for saying something stupid. Yeah. Just like Timu says. What is he still going about after all this time. Timus right to be angry.

But you know, before scolding him, could you heal Remilia-san first? If you dont hurry, shes going to die.

Timu, leave the scolding for later. Heal her first!

Yes.

Timu raised her hand over Remilia-san.

Oohh, her wounds were visibly closing. Timus forte really is holy magic. I wonder if shell end up working as a priest class in the future.

And then

It is finished, Oneesama. She should awaken soon.

Thanks, Timu. Youve saved me.

Phew~ Safe for the moment. Weve saved Remilia-san from death. My future lover is safe, and weve also escaped a trip to the gallows.

All thats left is the follow up after shes awoken, but

What should I do?

I wonder if everything would work out if I just told her that we found her and saved her.

No, hang on a moment. Theres something I need to check first. When Or tied her up, was she conscious? Even if she was hazy from the injuries, itll be terrible if shes seen Ors face.

Or~ Theres a veeeeery important question Ive got to ask you, but

Yes, Milady. Ask me anything.

Well then. Im just asking, but when you tied her up, did she see your face?

Well? Thats seriously the most important thing here.

At worst, he might even end up on the wanted list.

Of course she saw my face. After all, the one that defeated Remilia was none other than ourselves.

Kuh-, I knew hed say that. Of course, right? Thats the kind of people these guys are. This is why chuunibyou is dangerous when it gets out of hand.

But I wonder what exactly the truth is.

From what I hear, rather than tying her up after finding her unconscious, its more likely that they ambushed her as she was unsteady on her feet, and about to faint.

But in that case, isnt this quite bad?

At this rate, well end up in a crazy misunderstanding when she wakes up. Well, he did attack her, so its not exactly a misunderstanding but

Anyway, if she remembers what happened before she collapsed, were definitely going to be arrested. Far from just that, since we basically assisted the demons, we might even be confused as having something to do with them.

Aah aahh, what do I do? Neither Timu, nor Or, nor Pervert(Nielsen) seem to understand how serious this is. Far from it, are these guys actually happy?

This is bad. It appears that members of the Public Safety Force are en route. Likely to be reinforcements for Remilia.

Oohh, thats right, Myuu. Exactly right! Youre like the oasis of my heart. Youre the only one who understands the situation.

Mhen, if you are concerned with information disclosure, then we should simply take care of this elf. The blame will simply fall to the vampires.

Thats true. If we do not want the humans to know of our existence, then that would be best.

No, more importantly, shall we not take care of the reinforcements as well?

What scary things you guys are saying. Its true, its true that that would be the most surefire way to destroy the evidence but

Please stop that. What if Timu seriously does it? More importantly, why are you guys all acting so arrogant. Myuu aside, the rest of us are goners the moment Remilia-san wakes up, okay?

Or rather, what the hell are you saying about my future girlfriend!? Pervert(Nielsen), Or, see if I dont strangle you later.

Everyone, it looks like you realise just how bad this situation is.

Yes, milady. How should we move? Shall we intercept them? Or shall we eliminate Remilia and then conceal ourselves?

You knoww~ Please stop saying silly things already. Or rather, Timus really about to do it!

I see. Tilea-sama, so you had some use for that elf.

T-, Thats right. Anyway, just leave this place to me. You guys hurry up and disperse, and take a good rest tonight to restore your energy.

Yes, milady.

After everyone dispersed, I carried Remilia-san and then began heading to Headquarters myself. This is the best choice. With everyone here, who knows what theyll tell the Public Safety Force. And also, if Remilia-san really does remember their faces, this time itll be our turn to be tied up.

My plan is to bring Remilia-san to the Headquarters, and then lie a little. First, the best situation would be one where she doesnt remember Or beating and tying her up. In that case, I could just say that we found her and saved her.

In the case that she does remember, Ill lie about the criminal. I think her memory should be hazy, and as long as I insist on it, she should believe me. Giving a false testimony really isnt something anyone should do, but if Timus I guess I could call him companion, ended up being hanged, I really wouldnt sleep well. Ill just make up something about seeing her attacked by demons.

I continued walking as I simulated conversations in my head.

I kept walking, walking, walk I-, Its no good. I cant concentrate.

After all, Remilia-san is sooo soft!

The voluptuousness against my back was so stimulating. Ooh, ohhhh, each time I took a step, it hit against my back. I-, Im starting to feel weird.

A-, And whats with this scent!?

Aahh, it smells so good. S-, So this is the scent of elf? W-, What a complex fragrance! I might get addicted to it. Ive hugged her from the front a few times, but this time shes even closer to me, so I was getting a full blast of it.

Aahh, no good. Even though I knew it was no good, I kept sniffing and sniffing.

Sniff~ Sniff~

What a great smell.

I-, Im recalling my last life for some reason. Inoue, the scent of elf really does exist. Apparently its your win.

In the past, we once had a passionate debate about what elves smelt like. We went through all sorts of possibilities in our imaginations. Did they smell like rose flowers? Did they smell like rose hip? Did they smell like hop? In the end, we used various perfumes and created the scent of elf.

And amongst the perfumes created by all the members Its Inoues who was the closest. As expected of him. As expected of greatest elf-lover President Inoue. It really is amazing. You really did a great job with your imagination. At the time, I argued stubbornly, didnt I. I too loved elves, which is why I didnt want to lose to you.

But, the answer is here now. Ive been shown the proof.

Inoue, you were number one!

As I was basking in nostalgia, I continued to sniff Remilia-san.

Wai-, whoaa! What the hell are you doing, me!?

How can I say anything about Or if Im acting like such a pervert. Seriously, what the hell am I doing. If Timu found out about this, shed be disgusted.

Huu, honestly, why does this always happen? Whenever it comes to elves or Remilia-san, my ego always seems to fly away. Is it because Im in love with Remilia-san? Or could this be the karmic bonds as the former We Super-Love Elves Society Vice-President?

I have to calm down. Calm down

Right. Didnt the Society already discuss at length what we would do in this situation? Yeah. We already exhausted the topic of what we would do if we ever ended up alone with an elf. After all, we never knew when we might suddenly be sent into another world, and meet an elf. If we werent able to cope with it calmly, we would never be able to find an elf lover.

President Inoue often said it

When you meet an elf

YOU STRIP THE ELFFFFFFFFFF!

In an instant, I stripped Remilia-san of all her clothes.

Wai-, thats wrong, Inoue!

I stood dumbfounded for a while.

I was just trying to use my past-life knowledge to calm myself down. But it looks like I was more hysteric than expected. Right in front of me was Remilia-san in her birthday suit.

W-, What an outrageous appearance. O-, Oh no. What am I thinking!

Why is it that as I tried to calm down, I ended up stripping her instead? Have I been possessed by something? Well, at least I didnt rip her clothing off, so I guess I still had some reason left behind.

A-, Anyway, I have to quickly dress her!

I moved to put her clothing back on. But despite how hurried I was feeling, my hands wouldnt move.

W-, What incredible proportions

S-, So dazzling. T-, Truly the goddess of beauty, Venus. Remilia-sans perfect proportions, and completely flawless skin

Aahh, Remilia-san, why must you bewitch me so!

I-, I gulped.

Y-, Yeah. Timu healed her, but maybe theres still an injury somewhere. T-, Thats right. Before I dress her again, Id better check to make sure, right? Itd be terrible if she was still injured somewhere.

I began to examine every nook and cranny of her body.

Oohhh, so beautiful.

As Remilia-san lay there with her perfect proportions, I looked! Touched! Sniffed! And then licked!! I enjoyed her with all five senses.

And then, after continuing that for how long, I dont know

My eyes, which had beheld her every corner, met with Remilias as they opened. Remilia-san looked at me in confusion, before quickly standing up. Shes glaring at me suspiciously now.

Oh crap! OH CRAP!

Arent I in even deeper trouble than Or now?

Idiot! Im an idiot! What shameless things have I done. Its too late to even regret it now. A cold sweat dripped down my skin.

Tilea, wasnt it. I have a sudden question for you.

Y-, Yes?

Why, am I naked?

W-, Who knows~ Perhaps you were on stand-by naked?

Tilea. I hate jokes.

Y-, Yes. I-, Im sorry, I stripped you.

Why?

Even if you ask me why, you know~? Just why I wonder. I actually wanna ask that myself.

In other words you had no reason?

N-, No no, of course thats not C-, Cant be helped, huh~ G-, Guess Ill strip too, to make it even.

I was about to take off the clothes on my body, but Remilia-san silently gripped the hilt of her sword.

Abababababababa! Im in really big trouble this time! Somebody save me!