She opens her eyes and looks as if she's about to speak, until I lay my guitar down beside me. This guitar is my most prized possession. I'll guard it with my life. The day I found Adric, it was by his side. He always said if something happened to me to take it because it was his grandfathers and it should be appreciated like he appreciated it. I took it and had it completely restored.

I focus my attention on her, zoning in on what I want. She stares at me silently as I steady my weight on my knees and reach over, pulling her up by her hand. Placing my hand behind her neck and pulling her body closer so she's face to face with me, our bodies are flush on our knees.

I look deep into her eyes and I can feel her breath quicken against my face, making me want her even more. I want to feel her breath, ragged and calling out my name, as I push deep inside her, touching her places I shouldn't. The want is clear on my face. I know it and so does she.

She looks a little lost as she struggles to find words and I find it to be so damn cute. "When did you learn to play like that, it was beautiful. Why did you stop?"

I don't know. Maybe because she stuns me and makes me feel things I have been fighting for so long not to feel or maybe she's just too beautiful. I can't seem to concentrate on anything else but her and that damn scent that comes from her every time she moves. Whatever the reason, it sucks and I'm losing my will power and everything I've stood for. I'm tired of fighting it.

Biting my bottom lip and sucking in my ring, I yank her body closer to mine with so much desperation that she must think I'm crazy because there wasn't but a sliver of space to begin with, but I don't care. I have to taste her, to feel her against my skin. I press my lips against the smooth skin of her exposed shoulder and take a deep breath before running my lips up her neck, stopping just under her ear. Holy shit, she smells delicious.

She gasps and her body stiffens under my touch. I almost think she's going to get up and make a run for it, but she doesn't. Instead, she reminds me of how stupid I am being and I instantly hate myself for doing this to her. "I thought you said this was a mistake," she breathes.

Fuck my life! This is a mistake because by doing this, I might be hurting us both, but I can't think rational when I'm around her. I find my eyes retreating to her legs again, and the way they tremble turns me on like I've never been turned on before. My cock is throbbing so hard it almost hurts and I feel like my zipper is about to burst at the seam. The only way to make this go away is by burying myself to the hilt in between those thighs and fucking her hard, until she comes all over my dick.

Yanking my shirt over my head, I throw it down beside me and grip her thighs, pulling her as close as I can get her. "I don't give a shit if this is a mistake anymore. What the fuck do I know?" Breathing heavily, I run my hands up the length of her legs, spreading them wider, causing her whole body to shake. "I have to be inside you, Phoenix. I can't take this torture anymore but there is one thing I need to know. Have you slept with my brother?"

Her eyes slowly trail down my body, landing on the defined muscles that lead down to my jeans. I can tell just by the look in her eye how much she wants me inside her. I don't even need her to say anything, I just need to know my brother's never gotten a taste.

When she shakes her head, giving me the confirmation that my brother is a lying dick, an excitement courses through me and I can hardly even keep from nutting right here and now. I know by doing this I'm probably fucking us both, especially after kissing her. Whenever I kiss a girl, they always seem to fall in love with me. I basically stopped allowing girls to kiss me, omitting that form of intimacy altogether. Why I slipped up with her, I have no idea. Probably because all the rules go out the window when it comes to her. "That's all I need to hear."

Before she can process my words, I push her skirt up her legs and yank her panties to the side, exposing her beautiful body. I can see her chest rise and fall with every breath she takes, letting me know she doesn't dislike what I'm about to do to her. Hell, she probably wants it just as much as I do. I want her so badly right now, I'm almost tempted to skip any foreplay and slip inside her, but I feel as if she deserves better. That and I can't help but to want a taste what I do to her.

I'm so wound up, I tear her panties from her body. Laying her back, I bend over and allow my tongue to trail up the inside of her thigh. I can already see her juices dripping and all I want to do is lick her clean. She smells of cupcakes and I can only imagine her pussy tastes even sweeter. Tossing her panties down beside us, I look her in the eye and my words make her whole body jerk. "I need to taste you and I won't stop until I've had enough. I fucking love cupcakes."

Grabbing her thighs, I push her legs towards her breasts. I slowly trail my tongue up the wetness of her pussy, torturing her clit with the tip of my barbell, before slipping my tongue deep inside, getting a better taste. She moans and her whole body shakes with pleasure as I spread her moistness to her clit and slip a finger into her tightness. I swirl my tongue around before sucking her clit into my mouth. I am right, she tastes so fucking sweet and the thought of any other man tasting her angers me. Grabbing her hips, I rotate completely, leaving her straddling my face. I suck and lick while moving my finger in and out in a slow, consistent motion, never losing rhythm. I know how much rhythm means to a woman's sexual needs and I will be fucked if I don't give her the greatest pleasure she's ever known. It doesn't take long before I feel her already starting to clamp down around my finger. It doesn't surprise me though. If I'm good at one thing, it's definitely using my tongue. I slowly run my tongue in between her lips before sucking her lips into my mouth and then her clit. When I feel her starting to clamp again, I run my tongue over her thigh before softly biting down on it.

Her body jerks as she clamps around my finger and screams. It's so fucking tight, it feels as if it's going to break my finger. Right before she comes, I pull my finger out replacing it with my tongue. I want to taste her when she comes. "Oh fuck me!" Her breathing comes out in heavy bursts as she continues to scream and moan above me. "Oh shit, Kellan!" I can feel her juices on my tongue. I swallow leaving nothing behind. She runs her hands through her hair before biting her bottom lip.

Her screams make my cock hurt and I need to release it before it busts the zipper of my jeans. I snake my arm around her waist before laying her down on the blanket with my body pressed between her wet thighs. I kiss her, wanting her to taste herself on my lips. I place my lips to her ear and whisper. "You like the way my tongue feels, tasting you? Does it make you want more?"

She moans and leans her head back, pressing it into the blanket. Watching her shake while running her hand up the length of her thigh makes me want another taste. I sit up on my knees and grab her hips, bringing her hips up to meet my face. I run my tongue along her thighs and over her wetness, licking up the juices. "You taste so fucking good, Phoenix. Now I want to bury my cock deep inside you while you scream my name," I say, running my tongue over my lips and trying to catch my breath. "Do you think you can handle it, because once I start, I won't be able to stop."

I have never felt this desperate to be inside a woman and waiting for her to answer is killing me. I want her to touch me, to give me a sign it's okay to take her. When she reaches out and pulls my jeans down my thighs, her eyes desperately searching mine, I take that as her answer.

Her hands tremble as she reaches for my cock and pulls it free from my boxers. "Holy shit, Kellan." Her eyes widen as she takes in the sight of my rock hard dick. I can't remember ever being this hard for someone and the feeling of her hand around my cock makes me even harder.

She slowly runs her hand up the length of my dick, stroking it before playing with the head of it in her tiny fingers and looking me in the eye. "You have the sexiest dick I've ever seen. Is everything on your body so damn perfect?"

I think of the scar through my eyebrow that haunts me every time I look in the mirror, reminding me of that fucked up day and my blood boils. Anger courses through me and suddenly, I want to fuck her harder than I've ever fucked a woman before. My anger always gets the best of me and that's another reason I'm so damaged.

Without warning, I grab her hips and flip her over, causing a small moan to escape her lips. "Not as perfect as you are." Running my hands up the roundness of her ass, I grip her cheeks, spreading them apart as I slide into the wetness of her tightness and push as deep as it will allow me.

"Oh fuck!" She screams and I can feel the wetness between her legs thicken. "Kellan," she whimpers.

I place my hands back on her hips and grip tightly as I start out slow and deep, getting a feel for her pussy. My cock has been known to hurt, so I want to see what she can handle before I give her my all. "Oh shit, it feels so good being inside you." I push into her, rolling my hips in and out. I cup her breasts in my hands and I pull her body up to meet mine. With her back pressed against my chest, I grab the bottom of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head. "I'm about to fuck you deep and hard so don't be afraid to scream." I lean in and run my tongue up the side of her neck before sucking in her earlobe. "I love it loud."

Pushing her back down on the palm of her hands, I slam into her, burying myself deep before bending over her, yanking her head to the side and running my tongue across her mouth. She moans against my lips, causing me to go harder and deeper. "Yeah, you fucking like me inside you?" I suck in her bottom lip while reaching around with my other hand and playing with her clit. "Tell me how much you like it, Phoenix. I want to hear you say it."

Her body trembles from my touch and I have to catch her from collapsing. "I like it so fucking much, Kellan." I pull her face closer to mine and rub my lip ring over her bottom lip. She lets out a cry of pleasure before opening her mouth and licking my bottom lip then sucking the ring into her mouth.

I'm so fucking hot right now that all I want to do is make her scream again, to feel her pussy clamp tight around my dick. I push her down flat on her stomach before placing my body weight above her with my left leg bent at the knee, pressed against her side. I pump into her slow and deep being sure to give her intense pleasure. She moans beneath me as I move in and out while running my tongue up her back, to her neck, teasing her with my barbell. She seems to like the feel of it against her skin and it's so fucking hot.

"Kellan," she moans, making my heart jump. "You feel so good inside me. I want you deeper. Please," she begs.

Hearing her sound so desperate to have me in her makes me lose it. Placing my hands on her hips, with my toes digging into the blanket, I thrust into her hard and fast while breathing into her ear. "You want me deep, baby?" I thrust deep inside her, filling her completely and stop. "Is that deep enough, huh?" I pull out and thrust again, pushing as deep as I can go while wrapping her hair in my hand and kissing her neck.

She screams and I have to stop myself from coming. I refuse to get off before she does. This is about giving her the only thing I know how. I never want her to forget me. Even when I'm gone.

Without pulling out, I bring myself to my knees, then rest on my heels, while bringing her body with mine so she's riding me. I run my hands along her hips, then up her sides, admiring her body. She's so beautiful. I want this moment forever. I want to feel myself inside her while I take in her fucking beauty.

She starts moving up and down on my cock as I reach up and undo her bra. She stops to let me slide her bra off before she slowly and teasingly moves up, sliding my dick all the way out of her pussy before slowly riding her way back down. "I love your pussy. It feels so damn good. It's the best I've ever had."

I reach around her, cupping her left breast in my hand, teasing her nipple with my fingers. "Kellan," she says breathless. "I'm about to come. I'm about to explode with you buried deep inside me. I always imagined you feeling this good."

Oh shit! She's imagined me fucking her? I can't hold in much longer. It's so hot me thinking about her imagining my dick pounding into her. Fuck it! I need this moment just as much as she does.

I pick her up off my dick and place my hand on her chin so she'll turn around and face me. "I want to look at you while you come." I look into her eyes as I guide her down to my lap so her legs are wrapped around my waist. "Look at me while I pleasure you, Phoenix. I want to see how I make you feel. I want to taste it on your lips."

She wraps her arms around my neck and places her forehead to mine, looking deep into my eyes. I grab her hips and lift her, bringing her down to meet the head of my dick. I rub the head along her wetness before burying it deep inside her, making her moan against my lips.

"I'm going to make you come now," I whisper.

I thrust in and out slowly, playing with her clit from the tip of my thumb, my other hand wrapped around the back of her head, holding her close to me. It feels so good having her in my arms and a part of me wants this moment to last. She feels so warm and safe, like home. Looking into her eyes, we both moan and I can feel her tightening around me as her body trembles under my touch in an orgasm.

She breaths heavily against my lips and I take her bottom lip in my mouth as I thrust back into her causing her body to shake in pleasure. "Mmm . . . you love my dick, don't you?" She nods and I am so hot right now, that I'm doing things I would never do. First, I'm having sex without a damn condom and second, I'm about to . . . "Are you on birth control?"

She nods while looking me in the eye and biting her bottom lip. "Fuck! I'm about to come deep inside of you." I rub my hand over her face while rolling my hips in and out of her. "I've never done this before but I can't imagine not feeling this pleasure to its fullest. I want you to feel all of me."

I crush my lips against hers, pulling her bottom lip into my mouth and sucking as I bust my load as deep inside her as I can. Holy shit it feels amazing, being deep inside her and letting go. I almost feel free as if I can have more of these moments, but it's all just bullshit that will never happen. The thought of my load inside her is enough to have me temporary high. I never imagined it would feel so damn good.

She sits on me panting and rubbing her hands though her hair, as she stays zoned in on my eyes like she's admiring the sight of them and wants to memorize them. I love that, because I'm doing the same to her. A moment like this can never happen again. I messed up big by letting my desire get the best of me.

We sit like that for a few minutes, neither one of us attempting to make the first move to separate our bodies. Feeling the heated skin of her breasts against my chest is almost enough to make me come again. She's so sexy and tastes so damn good. She's everything I'd want if I was good enough to deserve happiness, but I'm not, so I'll have to be more careful with her for now on.

The sky is dark and silent now. Somewhere in the middle of our own show, the fireworks stopped and either one of us paid attention enough to know. She's looking around the sky as if she's afraid they'll start again or as if they never stopped. When I said I wanted to change this day for her, I didn't mean this way. I might have just fucked her up even more.

"I'm sorry, Phoenix." I brush a strand of hair behind her ear and then lift her up so I can pull out of her. "I didn't mean to let things get this far. I should have been more careful with you and what you needed today, but I'm fucked up. Doing things right, just isn't my thing."

Her eyes search mine before she cups my face and brings her lips down and just before touching mine she stops and exhales. I thought maybe she was going to kiss me again, but she doesn't and I find myself wishing she would. "It's not your fault. I wanted it just as bad as you did. I've wanted you for as long as I've known you, Kellan. I couldn't stop myself either."

Her words linger in the air and guilt takes over, making me feel like total shit. I had no idea she liked me over the years. Back then, she was just too young to even think about being attracted to. Yes, she was always pretty and I worried about guys going after her and hurting her, but that's it. Being Adric's best friend, it was part of my responsibility to take care of her and to worry, so it came naturally to be pissed when she went on dates. She was fifteen and I was twenty the last time we saw each other. She was starting to grow up and the guys were all over her, but for some reason, she always pushed them away. Now, it all makes sense. It was because of me.

"As much as I don't want to," I look into her eyes and hate myself for what I just did. But I can't deny that it was the best moment of my miserable existence. "I should get you home before I lose all control again and take you right here again," I say stiffly, suddenly not knowing how to act. Do I let her know how much I still want her, or do I push her away so she doesn't get hurt? Either way, it hurts to not be able to give her what she wants or needs because I'm fucked up in the head. So what if she liked me back then. I'm a different person now and once she gets to know me again, she'll only hate me. Who could love me after what I did?

I reach for her bra and shirt and help her get dressed. Once we reach the edge of the roof, I help her down the ladder and over to my truck. I place my hand under her ass to give her a boost. Upon touch, I feel skin on skin contact and I remember her torn underwear now reside in my pocket. Just a little something for me to always remember one piece of heaven in my own personal hell. My fingers brush against her bareness, making us both stop and take a deep breath. I'm not ready to let her go just yet and feeling her this way makes me want to prolong it. "Where do you live?" She sits in the passenger seat and closes her legs together before handing me my keys.

"My car's at the Ranch," she says confused. "You don't need to take me home, Kellan. You can drop me off there."

Like hell I will. I can't do that. My protective instinct won't let me drop her off to Kade, just waiting for his chance to have her the way I did earlier. I refuse to place her in his hands. Even though I know I can't have her, as selfish as it may be, I don't want him to have her either. Pondering, I think of an excuse to take her home instead.

"People are probably still at the party and I know you don't want to get sucked into that again. Let me take you home and I will be sure you get wherever you need to be tomorrow. I promise."

She's quiet for a second as if she's thinking things over before she finally responds. "1349 Rodeo Drive. My mom and sister are staying with me for a bit so don't be surprised if you see two nut jobs running around."

"Is everything okay?" I ask, curious as to why Phoenix has this responsibility now and hoping it's not too much for her to take on. It's about time her mother learns to grow up and rely on herself instead of her kids.

Elaine and Ethan should have been over years ago. That's why Adric was always stressed out. He constantly worried about what he would have to do to take care of his family after his dad quit talking shit and actually left them behind. Ethan never gave a crap about his family and I tried my hardest to protect Phoenix from the truth so she wouldn't hurt as much as Adric did. Adric had dreams of opening his own tattoo shop one day and forming a band to share his love for music with the world. Music for him wasn't just something to pass the time like most people, it was his escape. He poured his heart and soul into his lyrics. I still have that old worn out notebook packed full of songs he carried everywhere. I always said if I got good enough, I was going to record them and make a tribute to him. He never would get excited, as if that dream would come crashing down if he were left to take on all of the responsibility. It had him on edge and now Phoenix might be stuck carrying that same weight.

She looks up from playing with her hair and forces a smile. "I guess. It's nothing I can't handle and it's only temporary."

"Okay, but if you need anything you let me know." I place my hand on her chin and look into her eyes. "I mean that. You don't have to handle everything by yourself."

She pushes my hand away and pokes at my nipple. "Just get in the truck, you worry too much. You're just like Adric, you know that?" She flicks my nipple and I look down at her hand and grin.

"I knew you always liked my nipples."

"Oh, shut up!" She smiles and this time it isn't forced. I love seeing her smile. It makes me smile and for once, I see shades of color in this fucked up life of black and gray.

When we pull up in front of her tiny apartment building, there's a tall, slender girl with wild, red curls sitting on the porch of what I assume is her apartment. She has her legs propped up on a chair that is tipped over sitting across from her and she's looking down into her lap as if she's trying to concentrate on something.

"Holy shit, is that Zoe? She is almost grown up now."

Phoenix laughs as she reaches for the door and pushes it open. "You have no idea. This girl is a handful. Just ask . . . never mind." She smiles and her eyes land on my lips. I want to kiss her so bad, but I don't know if I should. "Thanks for the ride, Kellan. Both of them," she teases, while pulling her eyes away from my lips.

Fuck it! I'm just one big mistake after another so why stop now? I tangle my fingers into the back of her hair and crush my lips against hers, opening her mouth with my tongue. I feel my arousal as soon as her tongue collides with mine and I have the urge to pull her into my lap and slide into her right here. Just as I'm about to grab her hip and pull her to me, I open my eyes to see a little red spitfire with her arms crossed over her chest and her eyes focused dead on me. "Well well, look what the cat drug in and who's this? Have you finally told Kade to take a hike? If he's replacing him, then I'll let him stay."

Phoenix pulls away, wiping her hand over her wet lips. "Shit, Zoe!" She runs her hands through her hair while trying to catch her breath. "It's a long story, Zoe," she says, "And I'm tired so go inside and I'll be inside in a minute."

A set of big hazel eyes set on me again and I can't help but to smile. I remember those eyes and that wild crazy hair and it reminds me of happier times. Zoe was only six the last time I saw her, but she was always following me around the house. I just can't get over how much she's grown.

"Little Zoe," I say teasingly, as Phoenix steps out of the truck and adjusts her little skirt. "My little tail has grown up."

Her lip curls up and she gives me a confused look, dropping her notebook into the seat of my truck. "Excuse me, weirdo," she mumbles. "I'm no one's little tail, whatever the hell that means?"

She's damn adorable and feisty, standing there looking like she wants to hit me. She didn't get Adric's laid back nature, that's for sure but she definitely takes after Adric's take crap off no one attitude and the thought makes me laugh. I miss my bro so much and being here with his family makes me feel closer to him "It's been a long time. Trust me. Eight years to be exact, but you used to follow me around everywhere like I had a tail."

She looks even more confused as she focuses her attention on Phoenix. "Okay, who is this cute weirdo? If he wasn't cute and I didn't like those awesome tattoos, I would kick him where it counts."

Phoenix looks so nervous; it makes me want to kiss her to relax her again. It seemed to help earlier at least. "Kellan," she whispers sounding pained. "Kade's brother."

Zoe snickers and her face lights up. "What! The guy you refuse to talk about? Oh this is some good-"

Phoenix places her hand over Zoe's mouth, silencing her. Now I'm really curious about what's been said about me.

I jump out of the truck, run over to Zoe and throw my arm around her shoulder surprising her. "Looks like we have a lot to catch up on. There's no way you can't know about me. Like I said, you were my tail." She grabs her notebook and I guide her away from Phoenix.

Phoenix combs her fingers through her hair looking nervous as she leans against my truck, but I can't help it. I want to know what she's been telling Zoe over the years. She's had to of told her something for her to know my name. That's a good sign. I think.

"We can chat as long as you tell me some things about Phoenix I don't know," Zoe says with a devious grin. "She's good at keeping secrets and it pisses me off."

"What are you guys saying over there?" Phoenix grumbles. "Isn't it about time you go to bed, Zoe?"

Zoe turns to argue with her sister, so I reach over and grab Zoe's notebook as it falls to the ground. I pick it up, scanning it, thinking maybe Zoe is like her brother and likes to write songs or something. Instead, I find a bunch of scribbles and words that are mostly misspelled.

I feel the notebook get snatched out of my hand and I look up to see Zoe scowling at me. "That's mine. Nosy much?" She scrunches her nose and huffs.

She looks so embarrassed and I feel bad for learning her secret. No one knew this about Adric, but he used to have a hard time spelling when I first met him as well. He kept it a secret, but slowly taught himself through music and poetry. I was amazed at the results and he was an inspiration to me that you can do whatever you set your mind to.

"Come here." I wave Zoe over and out of Phoenix's earshot. "I have a secret to tell you."

She looks hesitant at first, but comes over anyways, looking me in the eye. "What?"

I point at the notebook and look behind me to be sure Phoenix isn't listening. "What nobody knows, is that Adric had a hard time spelling." I pause and look down to be sure she's listening. "He learned through music and poetry. I'm going to make the same deal with you I made with him."

She looks at me with a little hope in her eyes, probably a bit relieved that she's not the only one that needed help. "What kind of deal?"

I did a lot of embarrassing crap as a teenager and I have Adric to thank for that. I made a promise to Adric that if he could pull his end off, I would do anything he asked me to no matter how stupid and ridiculous it was. "Next time I come over, I want you to sit down and write a poem. I want you to practice while I'm gone. If you get every word spelled correctly, I will do anything you want me to do. As long as it's not robbing a bank. Those days are behind me," I tease, making her laugh.

"Are you serious?" she questions unsure. "Anything I want you to do? Anything at all?"

I nod my head and lean against my truck. "Absolutely, I'm not messing with you. I keep my word."

She looks down at the notebook in her hand and smiles. "Oh, this is going to be fun." She pats my arm as if I'm going to be sorry later. If she's anything like Adric, I'm a little scared. "I already have ideas flowing. Weird how that works. See ya, big guy."

She takes off, skipping inside and Phoenix gives me a confused look as she watches Zoe disappear inside. "What was that about?"

I push myself away from the truck and push my hair out of my face. "It's our little secret." My eyes meet hers and my heart skips a beat. Dammit . . . why does she do this to me? I swallow hard and stand up straight. "Call me if you need me," I say.

She nods her head and smiles weakly. "You suck and by the way, thanks for tonight." I smile and she starts walking up the porch. "Goodnight, Kellan."

"Goodnight, beautiful." I see her blush as she turns away and closes herself inside. I quickly run over and jump into my truck, taking off. A panic surges through me as thoughts of me and Phoenix take over my mind. I can't believe I let myself break the rules and have sex with her bareback. Not to mention the fact I busted my load inside her without even much thought. I never rely on a girl's word that she is on birth control. That's exactly how guys end up with unwanted kids and stuck with a woman. Hell, I was about take her again here in my truck if I had the opportunity. I can't let myself be so careless with her. I need to gain my control back before it's too late. This girl is something else and she throws me all off balance.

When I get home, Maxine is sitting on the porch waiting. I pull into the drive and look out the window at her, hating myself. She's dressed in a pair of short white shorts and a red spaghetti strap shirt looking damn sexy. She's sitting with her legs crossed and when she notices my truck she uncrosses them and looks up with a smile.

A part of me wants to turn the truck around and just leave, but I need to handle this before it goes too far.

Letting out a deep breath, I click the garage remote and step out of the truck as Maxine stands, making her way to me. "I thought your sexy ass would never get home," she purrs. She places her lips against my neck as she works her way up to my face. "You have no idea how bad I need you right now. I want to feel you inside me," she says breathless.

Gripping her wrists in my hands, I pull her hands away and push them down at her sides, looking her in the eye. "I can't help you, Maxine. I need you to go home."

She looks stunned as she reaches for my chest and caresses it. "Did you have a rough day? That's fine. We can help each other out then. I can take care of your every need."

"No." The thought of her hands on me angers me. Right now, I can't think of anyone touching me but Phoenix. This woman, as beautiful as she may be, just doesn't compare. I can't handle her hands on me right now. "Go home, Maxine. I'm not sleeping with you."

She just stands there as I jump back into my truck, drive it into the garage and close the door behind me.

"Shit!" I pound my fist into the steering wheel, causing the horn to sound. I'm so fucking angry and confused right now and I can't get the image of Phoenix's body wrapped up in my arms out of my head. She's all I can picture.