There is now only one certainty, when you are born a man, you fight an endless war and for women, you are destined to farm the land and bear more children to fight, that is our destiny, that is the endless cycle of torment that all suffer through.

My name is Christian, I was born without parents into the care of the Paladin Order who has raised and trained me for war since before I could even hold a sword. One of the older Paladin knights named Sir Richard took me under his wing and taught me all I needed to know for killing beasts, or demons, or whatever else stands in the way of the Order.

In my eyes, he was my father, he has cared about me more than my real father ever had, seeing as he abandoned me and has always treated me with respect and understanding.

What I remember most fondly about him are the stories he would tell me when I was a child. He would spend hours telling me stories of gallant knights that protected fair maidens from terrible monsters with their righteous power, saving them from the clutches of beasts with one slash of their mighty sword. He sparked a glimmering light in my eye that yearned to protect the innocent and win the heart of a maiden.

Because of these wonderful fantasies, when it came time to become a squire under Sir Richard I worked harder than anyone else.

I desired to become a man of legend, a man that would come to save the world from malignant evil in its time of greatest need, I wanted to become a true Paladin Knight.

To do this I trained, the training was always h.e.l.lish, every day Sir Richard would push me to my absolute limit, breaking me down until it felt like I would stumble and not be able to rise again, that I wouldn't be able to go on and I would fail myself and the Order that had invested so much in me.

But when the sun rose on the horizon to signal the start of a new day, my broken body healed enough to continue my losing battle. I would soon come to be able to complete the challenges that I faced. Eventually, I would complete them easily, making me feel as though I had mastered all that there was to master. Then at the apex of my arrogance and ignorance, the challenges would become harder than anything I had faced prior and the cycle would start over to where my training had just begun.

I was pulled from the blissful realm of sleep by the harsh reality that came with the rising sun. I have always awoken at dawn, knowing as soon as the sun crested the land and a new day had begun, so had my training. I got up, prepared myself, and ran two miles to start the day, then after I was tired and yearning to return and explore the blissful land I was seized from, I would start my weapons training with Sir Richard. We would train with any a.s.sortment of weapon he fancied that day, with one hand, with both hands, left-handed, right-handed, armored, unarmored, restricted, blindfolded, one against one, me against many, my daily weapons training was never the same twice, excluding the techniques that required constant practice.

After weapons training, we would go and study battle and tactics theory, this is something that I especially enjoyed. Ever since Sir Richard began our lessons on it, it's been something that's held my fascination. Studying battles and seeing what caused one side to be victorious over the other, was just fascinating to me. But what makes the lessons that much more enjoyable are the theoretical war games that we have at the end of each lesson.

The war game is a game that's similar to chess, but on a map instead of a board where you prepare an army from a limited amount of pieces and use tactics that are seen in actual battles to defeat the other.

During these matches, I would use the time to talk to Sir Richard about anything that was on my mind since it was one of the only calm parts of my day.

Sir Richard studies the board with a calculated gaze, thinking of all the possible moves there could be, then said.

"I see that you're moving your cavalry to crush my left flank, it's a good move seeing as the only opposition would be my heavy spearmen which are on my front line. But it's not going to be that easy for you, all I have to do is position my archer to counter your flank. Furthermore, my troops are on higher ground so your calvary will be sitting ducks after they slowed on the incline."

I rub my hairless chin as if I was contemplating his comment, but in actuality, I had already thought far ahead of this. He moved his front line one s.p.a.ce forward and it became my turn.

I looked up and gave him a triumphant grin.

"Of course that would be the case if I was using regular hors.e.m.e.n, but look a little closer at the piece."

The piece I was using at first glance looks like a regular cavalry unit, but If you look closely you notice that it's instead a mounted archery unit that only looks similar to a regular cavalry unit. It was one of the specialized troops my army was equipped with.

He looks closer at the piece and realizes his mistake, then becomes visibly irritated after understanding he overlooked that small detail.

I take my mounted archery unit and position it behind his troops while my front line presses into theirs, effectively putting them in a pincer, crus.h.i.+ng his infantry between the two lines of troops. This wins me the battle and leaves Sir Richard understandably frustrated.

"I may not be able to beat you in battle tactics as much as I used too, but I'll still come out on top in an actual match, so just remember that if you're thinking of growing a big head."

He's not wrong, even though I've gotten much better with regular sparing and training, Sir Richard's years of battle experience is too much for me, even if he's an old man.

I frown a little and acknowledge I still have a long way to go. He reads my expression and chuckles, while raising an eyebrow.

"You're already sixteen aren't you? You'll soon have to start fighting these kinds of fights in real life, not on paper." He smiles before he goes on like he's revelating in some old memory.

"Yep, I remember way back when I was a strapping young man about to be s.h.i.+pped off to the front lines, I made sure to spend the time I had before then well, I can still remember the beating I got after peeking on the nuns changing."

I reddened slightly as he bellowed a laugh, as he knows those kinds of things embarra.s.s me.

"So how about it lad, do you have a girl waiting on you to come back?"

"No, I've been too busy training to talk to any girls, anyway Reverend Jason says that G.o.d looks down on those who'd rather be married than fight for him."

Sir Richard shakes his head and looks at me seriously then speaks with an even tone that he rarely uses.

"The scriptures say no such thing, you should know that, you've read them almost as much as I have. You need someone to fight for, everyone that fights righteously has a cause. Someone that fights just to kill is nothing more than a brigand or a murder.

You know a Paladin Knight fights to protect the innocent and those who cannot fight. You may have become stronger, but If you use your strength for your own gains, then you're no better than the demons you fight.

His seriousness fades and he smiles warmly at me.

"We all have our reasons to fight, so tell me, lad, what would you have in a woman if she'd be yours."

It's not like I haven't thought about it, or prayed about it before. My training has taken much of my time, so I haven't spent much with the girls in the temple or in the nearby village. But it's not like I haven't thought about the kind of woman I want to spend my life with, or imagined what she would be like, I'm a young man after all.

"I'd have any girl G.o.d would prepare for me. But if I had to choose what she was like."

I thought for a second to collect the right words to say.

"I'd like her to be really kind, I'd like her to have a smile that puts me at ease and beautiful eyes that sparkle and s.h.i.+ne, and I want her to be able to make the most delicious food ever so I'd be able to eat it every single day."

"Just like my wife used to make, I haven't had a good meal since she pa.s.sed."

He laughs sadly at that for the sake of humor bringing to surface bitter-sweet memories in exchange.

"But most of all, I want her to love me for who I am," I say pa.s.sionately

He nods at that.

"That's very mature of you Christian, I'm sure you'll find a wonderful girl waiting for you when you get out of the war.

But you never said anything about her chest, are you the kind that likes them big, or do you prefer them to be on the smaller end?"

My face blooms red and I become fl.u.s.tered, I look around to make sure that no one was around to hear him.

"You don't need to talk about those kinds of things Sir Richard, not in the temple at least. What if one of the nuns had heard you? You would have gotten at least twenty lashes."

He laughs at that. "Don't worry lad It wouldn't be the first time." I shutter at his shamelessness.

I can't help but laugh though. Even if Sir Richard can be a little weird, he's the best man I know. The kind of man I want to become, just less perverted.