IX

Lamme and Ulenspiegel, each mounted upon a donkey given him by Simon Simonsen, one of the followers of the Prince of Orange, went riding far and wide, warning the people concerning the bloodthirsty designs of King Philip, and always on the look-out for any news from Spain. They frequented all the markets and fairs of the countryside, selling vegetables and habited like peasants.

One day as they were returning from the market at Brussels, they pa.s.sed a stone house on the Quai aux Briques, and there, in a room on the ground floor, they beheld a beautiful dame dressed all in satin. She had a high complexion, a lively look in her eyes, and her neck was most fair to behold. By her side was a young, fresh-looking cook, to whom she was addressing words like these:

"Clean me this saucepan, will you! No rusty sauce for me!"

"As for me," cried Ulenspiegel, poking in his nose at the window, "any kind of soup is good enough! For a hungry man cannot afford to be particular."

The lady turned towards him:

"And who," she said, "who is this little man, I wonder, that must needs concern himself with my soup?"

"Alas, my lovely lady," said Ulenspiegel, "if only you will consent to make soup in my company, I will teach you how to prepare a traveller's relish of a sort that is quite unknown to lovely ladies who stay at home."

And then, smacking his lips:

"I am hungry," he said.

"Hungry for what?" she asked him.

"For you."

"Sure, he's a nice enough looking fellow," said the cook to her mistress. "Let him come in a while and tell us his adventures."

"But there are two of them!" said the lady.

"I'll look after the other," said the cook.

"Madame," said Ulenspiegel, "it is true that there are two of us, I and my poor friend Lamme here, whose back cannot support so much as the weight of a hundred pounds, yet who carries in his stomach five hundred pounds at the least of food and drink, and that right willingly!"

"My son," Lamme said, "do not make mock of me, unfortunate that I am, for my belly costs a deal to fill."

"To-day, at any rate, it shall not cost you so much as a liard,"

said the lady. "Come in, both of you."

"But what about these donkeys of ours?" said Lamme.

"There is no lack of fodder," answered the lady, "in the stable of Monsieur le Comte de Meghen!"

Thereupon the cook left her saucepan, and led Lamme and Ulenspiegel into the stable yard, they still riding on their donkeys, who now began to bray inordinately.

"Hark," cried Ulenspiegel, "hearken to the fanfare with which they greet their coming nourishment. They are blowing their trumpets for joy, the poor beasts!"

But when they were dismounted, Ulenspiegel said to the cook:

"Come now, my dear, tell me, if you were a she-a.s.s would you choose for your mate a donkey like me?"

"If I were a woman," the cook replied, "I would desire a fellow that had a merry countenance."

"What are you then," asked Lamme, "being neither woman nor she-a.s.s?"

"I am a maid," quoth she, "and that is neither woman nor she-a.s.s into the bargain. Now do you understand, fat-belly?"

Meantime the lady was inviting Ulenspiegel to drink a pint of bruinbier and to partake of some ham, a gigot, a pate, and some salad. Ulenspiegel clapped his hands.

"Ham!" he cried, "that's good to eat; and bruinbier is a drink divine. Gigot is food fit for the G.o.ds! And the thought of a pate is enough to send one's tongue a-tremble in one's mouth for joy! A rich salad is worthy victual for a king, forsooth. But blessed above all men shall that man be to whom it is given to dine off thy loveliness, O lady mine!"

"How the fellow does run on!" she exclaimed. And then: "Eat first, you rogue."

"Shall we not say grace ere we consume all these dainties?" said Ulenspiegel.

"Nay," answered the lady.

But Lamme began to make moan, complaining that he was hungry.

"Eat, then, your fill," said the beautiful dame, "for well I see that you have no other thoughts but of meats well cooked."

"And fresh withal," Lamme added, "even as was my wife."

At this the cook grew moody; nevertheless they ate and drank their fill, and that night also did the beautiful dame give his supper to Ulenspiegel, and so the next day, and the days that followed.

As for the donkeys, they were given double feeds, and for Lamme there was always a double ration. And throughout a whole week he never once went outside the kitchen, playing the wanton with many a dish of food, but never with the cook, for he was thinking of his wife all the time.

This annoyed the girl, and she went so far as to say that it was not worth while to c.u.mber the earth if one thought of nothing but one's belly.

But all this time Ulenspiegel and the beautiful dame were pa.s.sing the time together in right friendly wise, till one day she said to him:

"Tyl, I think you have no principles at all. Who are you?"

"I am," said he, "a son that Chance begat one day on High Adventure."

"You are not afraid to speak well of yourself," she told him.

"That's for fear that others will praise me."

"Would you go so far as to help such of your brethren who have suffered for the Faith?"

"The ashes of Claes beat upon my breast."

"There is something splendid about you, Tyl, when you say that,"

she told him, "but who is this Claes?"

"He was my father," answered Ulenspiegel, "that was burnt alive for the Faith."

"Verily you are not at all like my husband, the Count de Meghen,"

she said, "for he, if he could, would bleed to death the country that I love. For you must know that I was born in the glorious city of Antwerp. And now I will make known to you that the Count has entered into an agreement with the Councillor of Brabant to bring into that very city of Antwerp a regiment of infantry."