็ฌฌไธๅ่ฉฑใ่ธใใใใใ
Chapter 30 My heart is fluttering
ใๅ้กใฏๅ จใฆ่งฃๆฑบใใใ
The problems were all resolved.
ใใชใฎใซใๅฟใใใใใใจใใฆใใฆ่ฝใก็ใใชใใ
And yet, my heart was beating so fast that it won't calm down.
ใใใใฏใๆชใใใจใ่ตทใใๅใฎ่ธ้จใใชใฎใใใใใจใๅคซใธใฎๆณใใซๆฐไปใใฆใใพใฃใใใใชใฎใใ
Was this the uneasiness before something bad happens or could it be because I've realized my feelings towards my husband?
ใๅใซๅฑ ใไพๅฅณใซ็ธ่ซใใฆใฟใใ
I tried to consult with the maid beside me.
ใๅฅงๆงใ่ฒใฎ็ฅใใใจๆๅฟใฏใพใฃใใๅฅ็ฉใงใใใ
ใMadame, foreboding and love are two completely different thingsใ
ใใฉใกใใๅใใใชใใใ่ใใฆใใใใใใชใใฎใ
ใI think it's better to ask someone else because I can't tell which it isใ
ใใงใใใใๆฆ้ฃๆงใซ็ธ่ซใใใใฆใฏใใใใงใใใใ
ใThen, how about consulting with the master?ใ
ใโฆโฆๆใใใใชใใฎใ
ใโฆโฆI don't want to see himใ
ใใใไธๆฅใใๆใใซใชใฃใฆใใชใใใใชใใงใใใ
ใHasn't it already been three days since you last saw each other?ใ
ใใใฎๆฅใใใใใใใใฏๅคซใ้ฟใใพใใฃใฆใใใ
Since that day, I had been constantly avoiding my husband.
ใ็ถ็ถใชใใใไบไปถ่งฃๆฑบใธใฎๆ่ฌใฎๆฐๆใกใฏใใฃใใใจไผใใใๆ็ดใงใ
Of course, I did clearly tell him how grateful I was over how he resolved the problem. Via a letter.
ใๆ็ดใๅใใงใใใใงใใใ๏ผใใ ใฃใใใใใใใชใใๅใใใไปไบใๅฟใใใใใ ใใ
ใHe was really pleased with the letter, wasn't he? Then, isn't it fine? Besides, he seems rather busy with workใ
ใใงใใโโใ
ใButโโใ
ใๅคซใฏไปปๅๅ ใง็ก็ใใใฆใใใใใใใใฎๅพๅฆ็ใงใใๆธๆฅๅธฐใใ้ ใใ
Perhaps because my husband had done the unreasonable in his previous mission, he had been coming home late these last few days to settle the aftermath.
ใๆใๆนใซๅธฐใฃใฆไพใๆฅใใใฃใใใใ ใ
It seems there were even times he comes home at dawn.
ใใชใฎใงใๆญฃ็ขบใซ่จใใฐๅคซใ้ฟใใพใใฃใฆใใใจใใ่กจ็พใฏๆญฃใใใชใใๆ้ใๅใใชใใฆใใใ้ใฃใฆใใใฎใ ใ
So when I said "I was constantly avoiding my husband", that expression wasn't quite right. It was just that our schedules didn't match up so we keep missing each other.
ใๅฅงๆงใๆฆ้ฃๆงใฏไปๅใฎไปถใงใๆใใซใชใฃใฆใใชใใจๆใใพใใใ
ใMadame, I don't think Master is angry over this incidentใ
ใใใใฏๅใใฃใฆใใใฎใๅฏๅคงใชๅคซใงๆฌ็ถใซ่ฏใใฃใใใ
ใI know that. I'm really lucky to have a tolerant husbandใ
ใๆฌไพใชใใฐใ็ทๆงใจใฎๅฏๆใชใฉ่จฑใใใชใใใจใชใฎใ ใ
By all rights, it wasn't forgivable to meet a man in secret.
ใใงใใๅคซใฏใใฎ้ปใซใคใใฆใไธๅ่ฒฌใใใใจใฏใชใใฃใใ
But my husband never condemned me for that.
ใๆใใใใชใ็็ฑใฏใใใงใฏใชใใ
The reason I didn't want to meet him wasn't because of that.
ใใใใใใฏใ่จใฃใฆใใพใฃใใฎใ ใๅคซใธใฎๆฐๆใกใใๆฌไบบใ่ๅพใซๅฑ ใใจใฏ็ฅใใใซใ
It's because I'd said it. I said my feelings about my husband, not knowing the person himself had been right behind me.
ใๆฅใใใใใซใใปใฉใใใใ
It was embarra.s.sing beyond belief.
ใใใใซใคใใฆใๅคซใ่ใใชใใฃใๆฏใใใ็ถใใฆใใใฎใใใชใใ ใๆฐใพใใใจๆใฃใฆใใใ
It was even more awkward since my husband continued on pretending he hadn't heard it.
ใ้ ญใๆฑใใฆใใใใๅจใใใใใ ใใใ
As I was at my wits end, my daughter started becoming fussy.
ใใใใใใไนณใฎๆ้ใ ใใใ
It was probably about time for her milk.
ใใชใผใชใจใใ่ นใ็ฉบใใใฎ๏ผใ
ใLillie, are you hungry๏ผใ
ใใใใคใงใฏใชใใใจใ็ขบ่ชใใๅฐใใช้ซใๆฑใไธใใฆไนณๆฏใฎๅ ใธใจๅใใใ
After making sure that there was nothing in her diapers, I lifted her tiny body and headed to her wet nurse.
ใๅคซใจใใ้ใใฎ็ๆดปใไธ้ฑ้ใจ็ถใใฐใใใใใซใชใใ ใๆชใใใใชๆฐใใใฆใใใ
When a week pa.s.sed by without crossing paths with my husband, even I started feeling a little bad about it.
ใๆ็ดใฎไบคๆใฏใใฆใใใใ่ฅๅนฒใฎ็ฉ่ถณใใชใใๆใใฆใใใ
We did exchange letters but it felt a tad bit lacking.
ใๅคซใฏๅจใซๆใใใใใใใใงใใ่ตทใใฆใใๆ้ใซๅธฐใฃใฆไพใใใชใใจใ
It seems my husband wanted to see our daughter, But I hear he can't come home at the times when she's awake.
ใๆ่ฟใฎๅจใฏๅคๆณฃใใใใใซใใใฃใใ็ ใฃใฆใใใใใใซใชใฃใใ
These days, our daughter can sleep soundly without crying at night.
ใใพใใใฐใใ็ตใฆใฐใๅคๆณฃใใใใๆๆใซ็ชๅ ฅใใใจไนณๆฏใฏ่จใฃใฆใใใใใฉใ
The wet nurse did say we'll be back to her night time crying in a while, though.
ใใ ใฃใใใๅจใ้ฃใใฆใ่ทๅ ดใธๅทฎใๅ ฅใใๆใฃใฆ่กใใใใใใจ่ใใใ
If that's the case, why don't I bring our daughter along with some sweets and visit him at work.
ใไน ใ ใซใ่ๅญไฝใใใใใฎใใๆฐๅ่ปขๆใซใชใฃใฆใใใใใใใชใใ
It's been awhile since I made some snacks, so maybe it would be a good change of pace.
ใไพ็ถใจใใฆใ็ฉใใใงใฏใชใ่ธใฎๅ งใฏ็ถใใฆใใใ
Still, my restless heart continued on.
ใใใใใใใๆๅฟใ ใฃใใใๅซใใใใ
If this is love, then it was way too unpleasant.
ใไธๅใซๆฒปใๆฐ้ ใใชใใฎใงใใใใใใใๅคซใซๅใใฐ็็ใๆนๅใใใใใใใชใใจๆใฃใใ
Since there was no signs of my condition being cured, I thought maybe it will improve once I see my husband.
ใใจใใใใใๅคซใฎๅ ใธๅใใ็ฅใใใๅทไบใซ้ ผใฟใๅจใฎไธ่ฉฑใไนณๆฏใซไปปใใใ่ๅญไฝใใ้ๅงใใใ
For now, I asked the butler to inform my husband that I'll be coming over, left my daughter in her nanny's care and started making the snacks.
ใๆ้ใใใใฆใใใใชใใฎใงใ็ฐกๅใช็ผใ่ๅญใซๆฑบใใใ
I couldn't spend so much time so I decided on a simple baked pastry.
ใใพใใฏใๆๆชใๅใใฆ่ๅใใซใใ็ ็ณใจ่่ใใใใฉใใผใณใบใจใ้ ใๅ ฅใใฆ็ ฎ่พผใใ
First, I peeled some apples and slice them thinly, added sugar, honey, vanilla beans and wine and cooked them together.
ใไพๅฅณใซ้ใ้ ผใฟใใใใใใฏ็ๅฐไฝใใๅงใใใ
I left the saucepan to the maid and started making the batter.
ใๆบถใใใใฟใผใจ็ ็ณใๆททใใ็ฝใฃใฝใใชใฃใใๅตใๅ ฅใใฆใใใซๆททใใใใใฎๅพใๅฐ้บฅ็ฒใจใขใผใขใณใใใฆใใผใๅ ใใใใฃใใใชใใพใงใใ็ซใฆใใ
I mixed in melted b.u.t.ter with sugar and once it turned a bit white, I mixed in the eggs. After that, I added the wheat flour and almond powder and stirred it until it was smooth texture.
ใๆๅพใซใ็ ฎ่พผใใ ๆๆชใๅ ฅใใฆใๆฒนใๅกใฃใๅใซๆตใ่พผใฟใ็ซใง็ผใใฐๅฎๆใ
Lastly, I added in the cooked apples, poured it into the oil smeared mould and baked it to completion in the furnace.
ใใใใใ็ผใ่ๅญใฏๆฅใ็ฝฎใใๆนใใใฃใจใใจใชใใใใฉใๅบไพใใฆใใใใใ็พๅณใใใไธๆฐใซใใใใ็ผใใใฎใง้ธใใ ใ
This type of baked pastry would turn moist if left out for a day but it's quite delicious when it's just fresh from the oven. ย I chose this since I could make tons of it in one go.
ใใใฐใใ็ฒ็ฑใๅใใๅทใใใจใใใงๅใๅใใใๅ จ้จใงไบๅๅใใปใฉๅฎๆใใใ
I let it cool for a moment and, once it cooled, I cut it up. There were were 50 pieces all in all.
ใใใใ ใใใใฐใ้ๅกๅ จๅกใซ่กใๆธกใใ ใใใ
This will probably be enough for the entire troupe.
ใใทใฃใซใญใใใๅงๆง็ดไผใฎๆๆชใฑใผใญใชใฎใงใใใฃใจๆฐใซๅ ฅใฃใฆใใใใซ้ใใชใใ
This apple cake was made using Charlotte-oneesama's secret recipe so I'm sure everyone will love it.
ใๅคงใใช็ฑ ใจๅฐใใช็ฑ ใ็จๆใใ็ดใซๅ ใใ ใฑใผใญใ่ฉฐใใใๅคซใฎๅใซใฏใๆๅฎๆฑใฎ็ถใๅ ฅใใฆใใใใ
I prepared large and small baskets and stuffed the paper-wrapped cakes inside. For my husband's share, I added a bottle of fruit juice.
ใๆ้ใซใชใฃใใฎใงไพๅฅณใๅพใใๅจใจๅ ฑใซ้จๅฃซ้ใฎๅ ต่ใธใจๅใใใใจใซใชใใ
It's time so, accompanied by my maid, I headed to the knight barracks with my daughter.
ใๅคซใๅใ้จๅฃซๅฃใฎๅ ต่ใฏใ่กใฎ้ๅคใซใใใ
The knight barracks where my husband works for, was at the outskirts of town.
ใใใใซ้ ๅฑฌใใใๆๅฒใใใใฐใใใฎ้จๅฃซใฎๅคงๅใฏใๅฎๆฆ็ต้จใฎใชใ่ฒดๆใฎๅญๆฏใฐใใใใใใ
It seems majority of those freshly granted knighthood a.s.signed here were the sons of n.o.bility who had no combat experience.
ใ้ๅธธใฏๅพ้จๅฃซใจใชใใๆงใ ใชไปปๅใซๅฐฑใใใฎใกใซๆญฃๅผใช้จๅฃซใจใชใใใไธ้จใฎ่ฒดๆใฏใใฎๆฎต้ใ่ธใพใชใใง้จๅฃซใจใชใใ
Normally, one would be a.s.signed various tasks as junior knights before becoming official knights, but a part of the n.o.bility didn't have to go through that phase.
ใ็ถ็ถใชใใๅฎๅ็ต้จใใชใใฎใงใไธไบบๅใซใฏใปใฉ้ ใใใใใช่ ้ใ็จใ็ซใกใใใใฎใๅคซใฎใไปไบใ
Since they naturally didn't have practical experience, they were far from becoming men. Making such individuals stand on their own teo feet was my husband's job.
ใๆ่ฒ้จ้ใ่จ็ทดใใใๆทๅฐใฏๅบใใๅใฎ้จ้ใๆๅฑฌใใใจ่ใใฆใใใ
The grounds that the training corps uses for training was wide. I'd heard there were ten corps.
ใ้่ใไบใคใใใ่จ็ทดใใใๅบๅ ดใใใใคใใใใ
They had five buildings and even several open s.p.a.ces for practice.
ใๅคซใๅใๅปบ็ฉใฏใๆทๅฐใฎ็ซฏใฎๆนใซใใฃใใ่จชๅใใ่ฉฑใ้ใฃใฆใใใใใใ่ฟใใฎ้จๅฃซใๅ ฅใๅฃใซไพใฆใใใ
The building my husband worked at the edge of the grounds. Perhaps word got out that I was paying a visit since a knight was waiting in welcome at the entrance when I came.
ใใใฎๅๅฎถใซไผ้ใซไพใฆใใใ้จๅฃซใ ใฃใใ
It was the same knight who had come to our house a while ago to pa.s.s my husband's message.
ใใใใใชใใใญใๅฟใใๆใซใ
ใSorry for disturbing you during such a busy timeใ
ใใใใใใใจใใงใใชใใใจใงใใใใพใใ
ใNo, no, don't worry about, it's no big dealใ
ใ้จๅฃซใฏใ่ๅญใๅ ฅใฃใ็ฑ ใๆใฃใฆใใใใ
The knight helped carry the box filled with the sweets.
ใ้ทใๅปไธใ้ฒใใฐใใใใใใฎ้จๅฃซ้ใจใใ้ใฃใใ
We pa.s.sed a long corridor and came across a number of knights.
ใใใฉใใฉใจใ่ฆ็ทใๆใใใ
I felt repeated glances sent my way.
ใใญใใใใใใใฆใ้ขๆใฃใฆ็ใใใฎใใใ๏ผใ
ใHey, is it perhaps rare for people to come here to visit๏ผใ
ใใใใใใใงใใญใๅคใใฎ้จๅฃซใฏใๆ่ฒ้จ้ใซๆๅฑฌใใฆใใใใจใใๅฎถๆใ็ฅใๅใใชใฉใซ่จใใชใใใใใฎใงใ
ใWell, yes. I hear it's since many of the knights don't tell their friend or family that they are affiliated with the training corpsใ
ใๅคใช่ชๅฐๅฟใฃใฆใใค๏ผใ
ใAre they thos kinds of people that's weirdly full of themselves๏ผใ
ใใใใงใใญใ
ใYeahใ
ใๆ่ฒ้จ้ใซๆๅฑฌใใใใใจใ้ข็ฝใๆใใชใ่ฒดๆใฎใๅใกใใใๅคใใใใใใใใงใฏใชใใใใกใใจใใ้จ้ใซๆๅฑฌใใใใใซๆ่ฆใใๆฐไบบใ็ใใใชใใจใ
It seems there were young masters from the n.o.bility who don't believe being under the training corps was any fun. He explains that it wasn't rare for newbies to say that they are from a proper corp not from this one.
ใใใฎๅๅ้กใ่ตทใใใๆฐไบบ้จๅฃซ้ใใใใใใไธๆบใๆฑใใฆใใใฎใใใใใชใใชใจๆใฃใใ
ใใชใใชใๅคงๅคใชใจใใใงๅใใฆใใใฎใ ใชใจใๅคซใซๅๆ ใใฆใใพใใ
I end up sympathizing my husband, he has his job cut out for him.
ใใใ้ใ้จๅฃซใใใๅจใซ่ฆ็ทใๆปใใฐใใ ใใ ใใจใไฝใไธ็ๆธๅฝๅใฃใฆใใใ
When I return my gaze from the knights we pa.s.sed by back to my daughter, she was trying her best to babble something with a โDaa~ daa~โ.
ใใใใใใฏใใๅฐใใงใ็ถๆงใฎใจใใใซ็ใใใใญใจใ่ฉฑใใใใใ
โWe were almost where daddy is, okay?โ, I told her.
ใใๅฌขๆงใใๅฏๆใใใใงใใญใ
ใYou're daughter is really cuteใ
ใใใใงใใใ๏ผใ
ใIsn't she just๏ผใ
ใไพๅฅณใๆผใไนณๆฏ่ปใฎไธญใฎๅจใฏใๆ่ถณใใใฟใใฟใจๅใใใฆใใใ
My daughter pattered her feet on the baby carriage she was in as the maid pushed it along.
ใใใฃใใใๆๅฏขใใใฆใใใฎใงใๅ ๆฐใ ใฃใใ
She had just taken a nap, so she was lively.
ใใใฎๅญใไปๆฅใฏๆฉๅซใ่ฏใใฎใ
ใThis girl is in a good mood todayใ
ใใ็ถใใใซใๆใๅบไพใใฎใใๅฌใใใฎใใใใใชใใงใใญใ
ใPerhaps she's happy to see her dadใ
ใใใใใใใญใ
ใYes, that's trueใ
ใไธ้ฑ้ใถใใฎๅคซใจใฎ้กๅใใใซใใใใใใพใงใ่ฝใก็ใใชใๆฐๅใซใชใฃใฆใใใ
It's been more than a week since I've seen my husband, even I couldn't keep calm.
ใไปใพใงๆใใฆใใ่ธ้จใใจใฏใใพใ้ใๅฟใฎใใใคใใ่ฆใใใ
The unease I'm feeling right now is a different sort of unease from before.
ใๅคซใๅฑ ใใใใ้จๅฑใฎๅใซๅฐ็ใใ้จๅฃซใๆใๅฉใใ
Arriving at the room my husband was in, the knight knocked on the door.
ใใใใจใใใฉใใใใจใใ่ฟไบใ่ใใใใ
Once he did so, I heard a ใcome inใ as a response.
ใ่ฒใ่ใใฐใใใฏใชใจๅฟ่ใ้ซ้ณดใใ
When I heard the voice, my heart beat out of my chest.
ใๆใฏ็ ใจใฏ่ใใฆใใใใใฉใๆฌ็ถใฎใใจใ ใจ่บซใใใฃใฆๆใใใใจใซใชใฃใใ
I heard that love was a disease before but I now know how true that was after experiencing it first hand.
ใ้จๅฃซใๆใ้ใใฆใใใใ
The knight opened the door.
ใใใใใจใใ
ใThank youใ
ใใใใใใใใใฃใใใ
ใNo, no, don't worry about it, please take your timeใ
ใใใใใฎใ่ๅญใไปๆฅไฝใฃใใฎใ ใใใฉใใใใใใฃใใ็ใใใงๅฌใไธใใฃใฆใ
ใOh, those pastries were just baked today but if you don't mind please try some with the rest of the unitใ
ใใใใชใๅฅงๆงๆใใใใฎใ่ๅญใ้ ใใใชใใฆใๅ ๆ ใงใใ
ใReally? It's an honour to receive pastries from the missus herselfใ
ใ้จๅฃซใฏๆทฑใ ใจ้ ญใไธใใ้จๅฑใซใฏๅ ฅใใใซๅปใฃใฆ่กใฃใใ
The knight gave a deep bow and departed without entering the room.
ใ็ฝฎใๅปใใซใใใใใใใใฏไธญใซๅ ฅใใ
Having been deserted, I went inside.
ใไนณๆฏ่ปใๆผใไพๅฅณใใใจใซ็ถใใใ
The maid carting the baby carriage followed behind.
ใๅคซใฏใๅฑ ใใ
My husbandโฆ was there.
ใ้จๅฑใฎ็ใไธญใซ็ซใกใๅ ฅใฃใฆไพใใใใใใ่ฆใฆใใใ
Standing at the centre of the room, he was looking at me as I walked in.
ใใใใใใใใ
ใGood dayใ
ใใใซใใผใๆงใใชใผใชใจ๏ผใ
ใHerminsama, Lillie๏ผใ
ใๅคซใฏๆฉ่ถณใงใตใฏใตใฏใจๆญฉใใฆไพใฆใ่ฉใใใใช็ฌ้กใงๅจใฎ้กใ่ฆใ่พผใใ
My husband walked over in quick, smooth steps, and looked over our daughter with a charming smile.
ใๅฏถ็ฉใๆฑใใใใชๆใคใใงๆฑใไธใใ้ ฌใๅฏใใฆใใใ
He picked her up like he was holding a treasure and brought her cheeks to his.
ใใใๆ่ฟใๅคงๅคๆทฑๅปใชใชใผใชใจไธ่ถณใงใใใใใซใใผใๆงใใใใใจใใใใใพใใ
ใI've been missing Lillie so much these days. Thank you very much, Herminsamaใ
ใใใใใใใใใใฃใฆใใ
ใNo, it's quite alrightใ