"b.u.t.ter?" I ask.

"Yeah," Tyler giggles, "you b.u.t.ter you brought'er." He laughs at his own joke with a bobbing head and short gasping snorts.

I look at Kevin. Kevin shrugs. "I don't know man. All I know is... Let's go smoke some more."

Karen disappears into an outbuilding. A soaking rain begins to fall as another Zed bangs on the thin metal covering the front gate. In the distance, the occasional shot still rings out. The smell of soup and weed and warmth and life comes from the house. As I enter the house, I see a small spider building his web in the corner of the door frame. I stop and watch it busily building his trap. "h.e.l.lo, my little friend," I say aloud. I make my thumb and index finger into a gun and point it at the spider. The spider stops. "Bang," I say softly and smile. The spider leaves a single strand of silk behind him as he drops from the web to escape. I enter the house to have dinner with my new acquaintances.

Chapter 8: Pray After You Eat.

"You want seconds?" Kevin asks from across the table. He is already lighting up a bowl. "Plenty of it, man. Might as well eat while ya can. May not have a G.o.dd.a.m.ned thing for supper tomorrow." He laughs a low throaty giggle before sucking another hit off the small bra.s.s pipe. "h.e.l.l, may not be a tomorrow."

The first bowl of soup and rice had gone down fast. The ground hog had been poorly cooked and the little dark clumps of meat were tough as shoe leather. The bones had been boiled into a watery broth and seasoned with too much black pepper and some fairly raw wild onions. But I still can't remember the last time I ate something hot and salty and flavorful and delicious. My stomach gurgles as the food fast tracks through my body.

"Yeah, I think I will. Thanks," I say as I dish more rice into my bowl.

"Why the f.u.c.k are we feeding this guy?" the skinny blonde woman at the end of the table asks. This is Betty.

I look at Kevin as I reach for the soup ladle. "Don't worry bout it, man," he says in a long exhale of skunk. "She just takes a while to warm up to people."

I look over at Betty who is staring me down with the craziest blue eyes I've ever seen. Her long blonde hair is brushed and worn loose. It is much longer than Karen's and somewhat wavy. The hint of an incredible body suggests itself from beneath her jacket. I return her stare with no emotion. I give her nothing to push against. Instead, I meet her head on in the void with a heart full of apathy. Her eyes shift away for a nanosecond. I let my own gaze fall away in victory. "Give me that f.u.c.king pipe," she snaps to Kevin.

He is in mid-toke. Without missing a beat, he continues his inhale while shooting a sideways glance back at her. "Woman..." he croaks while holding his breath.

"I want some f.u.c.king chocolate," the dark haired woman at the end of the table says in a long dreamy voice. This is Daisy. She has the beauty to match Betty but seemingly none of the hatred. They both look young but at least 21. She's rolling some weed into a spliff using a piece of newspaper. Tyler moves over slightly and tries awkwardly to put his arm around her. She throws his hand off with a shrug, "I didn't say I wanted you crawling all over me. I said I wanted some G.o.dd.a.m.ned motherf.u.c.king chocolate."

Tyler puts his hand back in his lap as he smiles and shrugs. Daisy smiles across the table to Betty who winks back at her. Daisy's eyes are green and hints of purple streak through her dark brown hair.

Karen sits next to Kevin caddy corner from me. She sits hunched over with her shoulders drawn in. She stares into the gla.s.s of water in front of her. She is a million miles away from this place.

Betty looks at her and flicks her tongue in the air. She turns back to Daisy and smiles and winks again. Daisy holds up her badly rolled joint and shrugs.

"So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" Tyler beams at me. "Did you live around here or did you get stuck here like us?"

I shovel in another mouthful of soup. "Stuck," I say and swallow. "I was trying to get out West when I heard what was coming."

"West from where?" Tyler asks.

I look around at my fellow diners. Even Karen is listening. "East of here," I say and take another bite of soup.

Daisy rolls her eyes and lets her hands land on the table with a thud. "No s.h.i.t." She turns the badly rolled joint over and over in her hands. Both she and Betty are hard around the edges. They have an air of jail and plastic surgery. They must be strippers. "Where'd you guys come from?"

"I's over in Louisville," Kevin yawns and leans back in his chair. "Went to the t.i.tty bars. My buddy Travis and me. Little smoke, little c.o.ke, go over and watch the girls here work." Kevin smiles at Betty who gives him the finger. Kevin ignores her and continues. "Travis went outside to get something out of the van, came back in with this big bite on his shoulder. Said some big tall skinny guy just walked up and bit him." Kevin looks around the table. Everyone is listening yet reliving their own story at the same time. "We was all gettin geared up to go outside and kick sumbuddies a.s.s and trying to bandage him up and call the ambulance and the next thing you know man, Travis pa.s.ses out cold. Just hits the floor like a sack of hammers. I took his pulse man, he was dead. It was some weird f.u.c.kin s.h.i.t. Everybody was freak'n out, some dude put the television behind the bar on and there was nothin. No color bars, no emergency s.h.i.t, it was just... f.u.c.k'n gone."

"It couldn't happen at the beginning of a shift," Betty says. "I work my a.s.s off all G.o.dd.a.m.n afternoon for money that's worthless now."

Kevin ignores her. "So man, you know... we go to call the f.u.c.king pigs to tell them what's going on and the phones don't work. Cell signals are gone too. We're like, 'what the h.e.l.l?' You know, we might as well have been on the f.u.c.k'n moon. We figure it was some kind of f.u.c.k up from the tsunami but everything was working just after it... last time I looked anyway."

"It was already bad on the East Coast," Tyler chimes in. "They knew what was happening. They figured there was no chance of containment so they decided to f.u.c.k everybody over. The rich people took off to wherever with as much stuff as they could carry. It's easier to escape if there's no general panic and people blocking the roads."

"Whatever, man," Kevin interrupts. "It don't matter now. Of course, Travis went zombie, start'n going crazy. We just got the f.u.c.k out of there."

Kevin pa.s.ses me the pipe. "So you were all in the strip club? Is that how everybody met?" I ask.

"I wasn't at the strip club," Karen says in a monotone voice.

I don't say anything to her. She hasn't looked at me all through dinner.

"Thaaat's right," Betty says in mock amazement. "Karen f.u.c.king shot you. So what, you tracked her here so you can get even, right?" Her glee is pure malice.

Karen turns and looks me in the eyes. She is as empty as I am. Defeat and hopelessness hang on her shoulders like a chute that didn't open. I exhale without looking away. "I figured she'd come back here. And I'd get to meet all you lovely people. And as much as I'd just as soon stay on my own, the Zed wave is here." I tap the cashed bowl onto a broken plate in the middle of the table. "Gonna be real tough to make it on my own when the whole undead eastern coast of the United States shows up like a G.o.dd.a.m.ned locust swarm."

"Ahhhhh h.e.l.l," Kevin says in disbelief. "Ain't no wave of zombies goin where ever. That's just bulls.h.i.t."

Tyler shakes his head no. "Just like there wasn't any danger of a rock landing in the ocean. East coast gone, northern sh.o.r.e of South America, Africa, a bunch of Europe... Greenland's just f.u.c.king gone," he says. He isn't smiling with puppy dog innocence now. "It makes perfect sense to me," he continues. "They've infected everything they can infect out there, where it started. Now they're heading west, infecting every last human. I figure they'll be everywhere but the deserts and mountain tops. In this country anyway."

Everyone is quiet. After a minute, Daisy breaks the silence. "Chock-O-Lot. G.o.d. d.a.m.n. It."

Kevin looks at Tyler. "He told me a buncha stuff already but I don't know what the h.e.l.l he's talk'n about man. Maybe you can cipher it."

Tyler opens his hands in front of him, gathering his thoughts closer to his mind. "So most people know that the tsunami that hit the East Coast... and Africa and Europe... was because of the rock. It wasn't a planet killer but it might as well have been. What we don't know is what caused all of... this." His hands wave around the room.

"Alright," Kevin says leaning back in his chair. "We got a buncha people dead, everything wiped out, no communications... how the h.e.l.l did the zombie thing start?"

"No one knows," Tyler shrugs. "Of course, there are theories." He smiles crazily around the room.

"Is this the fungus thing?" Betty snaps at him.

Daisy is playing with a strand of Tyler's hair just above his ear. "We'd have smart babies," she says dreamily. "What did you used to be again?"

"Electrical Engineer,"Tyler blushes bright red and the third grader smile returns. "We could go start on the smart babies now if you like," he says and shrugs.

"Wait a minute," Kevin says and puts his big paw of a hand on Tyler's shoulder. "Just finish explain'n this here deal." He looks at me and smiles. "See what I mean, man? Smart as a whip but ain't gotta lick of sense."

To prove Kevin's point, Tyler attempts to swing a leg over the bench he is sharing with Kevin only to smack his knee solidly into the underside of the table. Kevin laughs. "Easy man, easy." He hands Tyler the pipe. "Take a hit off this, finish your story. Then go make spastic super genius stripper babies with Daisy."

Tyler hits the pipe long and holds it in for a moment. He exhales a large plume of smoke and says, "Fungus."

"Nah man, it's weed. I done told ya I took the last of the shrooms a week ago," Kevin says.

Tyler shakes his head no. "The most reasonable theory I heard was that the zombie thing was originally born of a fungal infection."

"You mean like... mushrooms? Or athlete's foot?" Betty asks.

"Mmmm... neither really." Tyler says. He is looking up and talking to the ceiling. "They had an airborne fungus killing healthy people up in the northwest part of the country for the last several years. Then after the big tornado outbreak of 2011, other people died from fungal infections... murcomycosis... in subcutaneous form... meaning it got in under the skin through wounds. It wasn't wide spread but it was largely fatal. After the big tsunami on the east coast, some of the people I was communicating with in chat rooms thought that the wave had washed in or stirred up some sort of fungal infection that turns the human body into a host for the new organism. I mean h.e.l.l... we're mostly bacteria anyway and..."

Kevin stops Tyler at the crossroad of his tangent by holding up his hand again. "You mean those are all mushroom zombies out there?"

"Nnnnnnnnnnnnn... yes." Tyler finally says. "That is one theory."

"Chocolate kisses, chocolate and peanut b.u.t.ter," Daisy says while fiddling with her joint. "I'm gonna start spray'n down with some... fast act'n Tinactin or somethin."

"It's kind of like the parasitic wasps out there that lay their eggs in ants," Tyler starts.

Through the window of the small house, I can see a beam of light on the ground in front of the gate at the front of the compound. "You expecting company?" I ask as I blow out the candles in the middle of the table. A candle burning in the corner of the room allows me enough light to find my rifle. The others scramble for their guns as well.

"What is it?" Betty whispers from behind a tattered and broken sofa.

"I dunno," I say in a normal speaking voice. "But it would appear we have company."

"Well, h.e.l.l," Kevin says from the window.

I pull out my .45 and check the chamber. I reach in my pocket and get the bullets from Karen's pistol out and hand them to her. I don't say anything to her. Telling someone not to shoot you is kind of like telling somebody not to drop something. I watch as she tries to quickly shove them into the clip of the tiny pistol. She racks the slide and looks up at me in the light of the single candle.

"Don't shoot me," I tell her. Maybe you can't be too safe.

Chapter 9: Just Dessert.

Even through the falling rain, I can hear the dog sniffing the bottom of the gate. Betty and Daisy are in one of the fortified outbuildings behind where Tyler and I are crouched down behind the rain barrels. Karen and Kevin are upstairs in the house acting as snipers. I turn and look back at the house. I see the flick of a lighter and a small flame bending in and out of a bowl in the upstairs window. Even if they could see anything from up there, they wouldn't have the wherewithal to do anything about it.

"What a way to have to sing for your supper," Tyler whispers.

I place my finger over my lips and then point towards the gate. "Dog... pit bull I think." Tyler nods and remains silent. He flicks the safety off of Karen's pump shotgun.

The sound of the dog sniffing is replaced by the sound of metal sliding on metal. A pair of hands is under the gate on one of the vertical locking bars turning it to unlock the handle. Whoever is opening the front gate has been here before.

I turn to tell Tyler that we can't let them get the gate open but he is gone. I look over the top of the rain barrels. I can barely make out a shadow scampering up the bowling scaffolding. "s.h.i.t," I mutter to myself. Hopefully the rain is falling just hard enough to mask any noise he is making.

The front gate slides open and tiny feet spring across the muddy ground towards my hiding place. It is completely dark and I cannot see the dog or his handlers. My only option is up.

The dog doesn't growl or grunt as he rounds the corner of the barrels. I spring up over the side of them throwing myself flat and rolling across their tops. I keep my arms tucked in, holding my rifle close and my legs completely straight. The dog leaps behind me and lands squarely in one of the barrels. The barrels are nearly full making them too heavy to turn over. Water and thrashing erupt from the barrel behind me as I keep rolling until I fall to the ground on the other side. A small yelp sounds from the dog as it rights itself in the water.

"Archie?' comes a voice from the gate.

"Shut up," snaps another voice.

"Screw you, man," says the first voice. Someone runs past me and I fall instep behind him. "Come here, buddy," the first man says as he shoulders his weapon to retrieve the flailing dog. I slide the big .45 up behind him just as he gets both hands on the struggling animal.

"Don't let go of the dog," I tell him quietly. He holds the dog against him and I grab onto the man's collar to prevent him from turning. "I've already pulled the trigger. If you spin around and try anything, my thumb will come off the hammer. If my thumb comes off the hammer, the hammer will fall. If the hammer falls, you die." I tell him. "Got me?"

The man nods in the affirmative.

"Chuck?" the second voice calls from the gate.

I tighten my grip on the man's collar.

"Chuck?" the voice calls again.

"I got him," Tyler yells. His voice is high and breaks like a teenage boy hitting p.u.b.erty. You can hear the adrenaline cranking through him.

"You and that d.a.m.ned dog," the second voice says.

The silhouette of a man with his hands up approaches. Tyler stands behind him with the shotgun pointed at his kidneys. We all flinch and duck slightly as a shot rolls out from the upstairs window of the house. My hand crushes the man's collar and I nearly let go of the hammer. Normally on a .45, you couldn't get it to fire without engaging the grip safety but I duct taped mine long ago for just this reason.

Somewhere out by the gate, the sound of a body hitting the ground makes a splashy thump. "You're welcome," Kevin yells from above. "Now one of ya shut the d.a.m.ned front door."

"I think I just c.r.a.pped my pants," Chuck says.

"That's alright," I tell him. "I think I just threw up in my mouth a little."

None of us move right away; all of us teetering back and forth on a mental tightrope over the chasm of killing or being killed, shooting or being shot. Another shot rings out and we all flinch again. Another body drops in the darkness. "Anytime you're ready to shut the f.u.c.k'n gate," Kevin's yells. "Don't let me rush ya er nuth'n."

"Tyler, walk that guy over there, make him do it."

"Right," Tyler says. But he doesn't move. I can only tell his outline from the other man's by the long hair.

"If he makes a move, Kevin will drop him. Just grab the ground. You'll be alright," I tell Tyler.

"Right," Tyler says. He still doesn't move.

"Tyler," I say.

Tyler snaps out of his trance and shoves the second guy in the back with the shotgun barrel. "Move," he says.

Two more shots ring out. I stare into the darkness as I listen to feet scurrying and things moving around. I hear the bars of the gate shutting and m.u.f.fled voices. Tyler and the second man are discussing something as they walk back.

"Neato," says Tyler having returned to his normal enthusiasm. "Hey... this guy showed me how to trip the locking mechanism. I can't believe I didn't notice it before."

The man I'm holding by the collar clears his throat. "Hey, buddy, the dog is getting heavy man. Can I put him down?"

I let go of his collar. I slide his weapon off his shoulder and throw it over my own. "Leash. Cujo goes on a leash or he goes in the dinner pot."

"Yeah," he says and puts the dog down.

"In the house," is all I say. We all walk in that direction.

Inside, Kevin is walking down the stairs carrying a kerosene lantern and an M1A1 with a giant scope. "This is some serious Mr. Roboto s.h.i.t here, man. Night vision scope, gen III even. Pretty f.u.c.k'n cool."