These philosophical remarks precede another introduction to the public ball-room at Doncaster. Mrs. Dallington Vere and Miss Dacre are walking arm in arm at the upper end of the room.

'You are disappointed, love, about Arundel?' said Mrs. Dallington.

'Bitterly; I never counted on any event more certainly than on his return this summer.'

'And why tarrieth the wanderer? unwillingly of course?'

'Lord Darrell, who was to have gone over as _Charge d'affaires_, has announced to his father the impossibility of his becoming a diplomatist, so our poor _attache_ suffers, and is obliged to bear the _portefeuille ad interim_.'

'Does your cousin like Vienna?'

'Not at all. He is a regular John Bull; and, if I am to judge from his correspondence, he will make an excellent amba.s.sador in one sense, for I think his fidelity and his patriotism may be depended on. We seldom serve those whom we do not love; and, if I am to believe Arundel, there is neither a person nor a place on the whole Continent that affords him the least satisfaction.'

'How singular, then, that he should have fixed on such a _metier_; but, I suppose, like other young men, his friends fixed for him?'

'Not at all. No step could be less pleasing to my father than his leaving England; but Arundel is quite unmanageable, even by papa. He is the oddest but the dearest person in the world!'

'He is very clever, is he not?'

'I think so. I have no doubt he will distinguish himself, whatever career he runs; but he is so extremely singular in his manner that I do not think his general reputation harmonises with my private opinion.'

'And will his visit to England be a long one?'

'I hope that it will be a permanent one. I, you know, am his confidant, and entrusted with all his plans. If I succeed in arranging something according to his wishes, I hope that he will not again quit us.'

'I pray you may, sweet! and wish, love, for your sake, that he would enter the room this moment.'

'This is the most successful meeting, I should think, that ever was known at Doncaster,' said Miss Dacre. 'We are, at least, indebted to the Duke of St. James for a very agreeable party, to say nothing of all the gloves we have won.'

'How do you like the Duke of Burlington?'

'Much. There is a calm courtliness about him which I think very imposing. He is the only man I ever saw who, without being very young, was not an unfit companion for youth. And there is no affectation of juvenility about him. He involuntarily reminds you of youth, as an empty orchestra does of music.'

'I shall tell him this. He is already your devoted; and I have no doubt that, inspired at the same time by your universal charms and our universal hints, I shall soon hail you d.u.c.h.ess of Burlington. Don Arundel will repent his diplomacy.'

'I thought I was to be another d.u.c.h.ess this morning.'

'You deserve to be a triple one. But dream not of the unhappy patron of Sanspareil. There is something in his eyes which tells me he is not a marrying man.'

There was a momentary pause, and Miss Dacre spoke.

'I like his brother steward, Bertha. Sir Lucius is witty and candid. It is an agreeable thing to see a man who had been so gay, and who has had so many temptations to be gay, turn into a regular domestic character, without losing any of those qualities which made him an ornament to society. When men of the world terminate their career as prudently as Sir Lucius, I observe that they are always amusing companions, because they are perfectly unaffected.'

'No one is more unaffected than Lucius Grafton. I am quite happy to find you like him; for he is an old friend of mine, and I know that he has a good heart.'

'I like him especially because he likes you.'

'Dearest!'

'He introduced me to Lady Afy. I perceive that she is very attached to her husband.'

'Lady Afy is a charming woman. I know no woman so truly elegant as Lady Afy. The young Duke, you know they say, greatly admires Lady Afy.'

'Oh! does he? Well now, I should have thought her rather a sentimental and serious donna; one very unlikely------'

'Hush! here come two cavaliers.'

The Dukes of Burlington and St. James advanced.

'We are attracted by observing two nymphs wandering in this desert,'

said his Grace of Burlington. This was the Burgundy.

'And we wish to know whether there be any dragon to destroy, any ogre to devour, any magician to ma.s.sacre, or how, when, and where we can testify our devotion to the ladies of our love,' added his Grace of St. James.

This was the champagne.

'The age of chivalry is past,' said Miss Dacre. 'Bores have succeeded to dragons, and I have shivered too many lances in vain ever to hope for their extirpation; and as for enchantments----'

'They depend only upon yourself,' gallantly interrupted the Duke of Burgundy. Psha!--Burlington.

'Our spells are dissolved, our wands are sunk five fathom deep; we had retired to this solitude, and we were moralising,' said Mrs. Dallington Vere.

'Then you were doing an extremely useless and not very magnanimous thing,' said the Duke of St. James; 'for to moralise in a desert is no great exertion of philosophy. You should moralise in a drawing-room; and so let me propose our return to that world which must long have missed us. Let us do something to astound these elegant barbarians. Look at that young gentleman: how stiff he is! A Yorkshire Apollo! Look at that old lady; how elaborately she simpers! The Venus of the Riding! They absolutely attempt to flirt. Let us give them a gallop!'

He was advancing to salute this provincial couple; but his more mature companion repressed him.

'Ah! I forgot,' said the young Duke. 'I am Yorkshire. If I were a western, like yourself, I might compromise my character. Your Grace monopolises the fun.'

'I think you may safely attack them,' said Miss Dacre. 'I do not think you will be recognised. People entertain in this barbarous country, such vulgar, old-fashioned notions of a Duke of St. James, that I have not the least doubt your Grace might have a good deal of fun without being found out.'

'There is no necessity,' said the Duke, 'to fly from Miss Dacre for amus.e.m.e.nt. By-the-bye, you make a good repartee. You must permit me to introduce you to my friend, Lord Squib. I am sure you would agree so.'

'I have been introduced to Lord Squib.'

'And you found him most amusing? Did he say anything which vindicates my appointment of him as my court jester?'

'I found him modest. He endeavoured to excuse his errors by being your companion; and to prove his virtues by being mine.'

'Treacherous Squib! I positively must call him out. Duke, bear him a cartel.'

'The quarrel is ours, and must be decided here,' said Mrs. Dallington Vere. 'I second Miss Dacre.'

'We are in the way of some good people here, I think,' said the Duke of Burlington, who, though the most dignified, was the most considerate of men; 'at least, here are a stray couple or two staring as if they wished us to understand we prevented a set.'

'Let them stare,' said the Duke of St. James; 'we were made to be looked at. 'Tis our vocation, Hal, and they are gifted with vision purposely to behold us.'

'Your Grace,' said Miss Dacre, 'reminds me of my old friend, Prince Rubarini, who told me one day that when he got up late he always gave orders to have the sun put back a couple of hours.'

'And you, Miss Dacre, remind me of my old friend, the d.u.c.h.ess of Nevers, who told me one day that in the course of her experience she had only met one man who was her rival in repartee.'