'Why,' said his Lordship, 'fortunately I contrived to fall out about the settlements, and so I escaped.'

'So the chaste Diana is to be the new patroness?' said Lord Darrell.

'So I understand,' rejoined Mr. Annesley. 'This is the age of unexpected appointments.'

'_On dit_ that when it was notified to the party most interested, there was a rider to the bill, excluding my Lord's relations.'

'Ha, ha, ha,' faintly laughed Mr. Annesley. 'What have they been doing so remarkable?'

'Nothing,' said Lord Squib. 'That is just their fault. They have every recommendation; but when any member of that family is in a room, everybody feels so exceedingly sleepy that they all sink to the ground.

That is the reason that there are so many ottomans at Heavyside House.'

'Is it true,' asked the Duke, 'that his Grace really has a flapper?'

'Unquestionably,' said Lord Squib. 'The other day I was announced, and his attendant was absent. He had left his instrument on a sofa. I immediately took it up, and touched my Lord upon his hump. I never knew him more entertaining. He really was quite lively.'

'But Diana is a favourite G.o.ddess of mine,' said Annesley; 'taste that hock.'

'Superb! Where did you get it?'

'A present from poor Raffenburg.'

'Ah! where is he now?'

'At Paris, I believe.'

'Paris! and where is she?'

'I liked Raffenburg,' said Lord Squib; 'he always reminded me of a country innkeeper who supplies you with pipes and tobacco gratis, provided that you will dine with him.'

'He had unrivalled meerschaums,' said Mr. Annesley, 'and he was most liberal. There are two. You know I never use them, but they are handsome furniture.'

'Those Dalmaines are fine girls,' said the Duke of St. James.

'Very pretty creatures! Do you know, Duke,' said Annesley, 'I think the youngest one something like Miss Dacre.'

'Indeed! I cannot say the resemblance struck me.'

'I see old mother Dalmaine dresses her as much like the Doncaster belle as she possibly can.'

'Yes, and spoils her,' said Lord Squib; 'but old mother Dalmaine, with all her fuss, was ever a bad cook, and overdid everything.'

'Young Dalmaine, they say,' observed Lord Darrell, 'is in a sort of a sc.r.a.pe.'

'Ah! what?'

'Oh! some confusion at head-quarters. A great tallow-chandler's son got into the regiment, and committed some heresy at mess.'

'I do not know the brother,' said the Duke.

'You are fortunate, then. He is unendurable. To give you an idea of him, suppose you met him here (which you never will), he would write to you the next day, "My dear St. James."'

'My tailor presented me his best compliments, the other morning,' said the Duke.

'The world is growing familiar,' said Mr. Annesley.

'There must be some remedy,' said Lord Darrell.

'Yes!' said Lord Squib, with indignation. 'Tradesmen now-a-days console themselves for not getting their bills paid by asking their customers to dinner.'

'It is shocking,' said Mr. Annesley, with a forlorn air. 'Do you know, I never enter society now without taking as many preliminary precautions as if the plague raged in all our chambers. In vain have I hitherto prided myself on my existence being unknown to the million. I never now stand still in a street, lest my portrait be caught for a lithograph; I never venture to a strange dinner, lest I should stumble upon a fashionable novelist; and even with all this vigilance, and all this denial, I have an intimate friend whom I cannot cut, and who, they say, writes for the Court Journal.'

'But why cannot you cut him?' asked Lord Darrell.

'He is my brother; and, you know, I pride myself upon my domestic feelings.'

'Yes!' said Lord Squib, 'to judge from what the world says, one would think, Annesley, you were a Brummel!'

'Squib, not even in jest couple my name with one whom I will not call a savage, merely because he is unfortunate.'

'What did you think of little Eugenie, Annesley, last night?' asked the Duke.

'Well, very well, indeed; something like Brocard's worst.'

'I was a little disappointed in her debut, and much interested in her success. She was rather a favourite of mine in Paris, so I invited her to the Alhambra yesterday, with Claudius Piggott and some more. I had half a mind to pull you in, but I know you do not much admire Piggott.'

'On the contrary, I have been in Piggott's company without being much offended.'

'I think Piggott improves,' said Lord Darrell. 'It was those waistcoats which excited such a prejudice against him when he first came over.'

'What! a prejudice against Peac.o.c.k Piggott!' said Lord Squib; 'pretty Peac.o.c.k Piggott! Tell it not in Gath, whisper it not in Ascalon; and, above all, insinuate it not to Lady de Courcy.'

'There is not much danger of my insinuating anything to her,' said Mr.

Annesley.

'Your compact, I hope, is religiously observed,' said the Duke.

'Yes, very well. There was a slight infraction once, but I sent Charles Fitzroy as an amba.s.sador, and war was not declared.'

'Do you mean,' asked Lord Squib, 'when your cabriolet broke down before her door, and she sent out to request that you would make yourself quite at home?'

'I mean that fatal day,' replied Mr. Annesley. 'I afterwards discovered she had bribed my tiger.'

'Do you know Eugenie's sister, St. James?' asked Lord Darrell.

'Yes: she is very clever; very popular at Paris. But I like Eugenie, because she is so good-natured. Her laugh is so hearty.'

'So it is,' said Lord Squib. 'Do you remember that girl at Madrid, Annesley, who used to laugh so?'