"There is no castle so well fortified, 10 But if an a.s.s laden with gold comes on, The guard will stoop, and gates fly open wide."

IN GELAM. XI.

Gella, if thou dost love thyself, take heed Lest thou my rhymes unto thy lover read; For straight thou grinn'st, and then thy lover seeth Thy canker-eaten gums and rotten teeth.

IN QUINTUM.[473] XII.

Quintus his wit, infus'd into his brain, Mislikes the place, and fled into his feet; And there it wanders up and down the street,[474]

Dabbled in the dirt, and soaked in the rain.

Doubtless his wit intends not to aspire, Which leaves his head, to travel in the mire.

FOOTNOTES:

[473] Not in MS.

[474] Old eds. "streets."

IN SEVERUM. XIII.

The puritan Severus oft doth read This text, that doth p.r.o.nounce vain speech a sin,-- "That thing defiles a man, that doth proceed From out the mouth, not that which enters in."

Hence is it that we seldom hear him swear; And therefore like a Pharisee, he vaunts: But he devours more capons in a year Than would suffice a hundred protestants.

And, sooth, those sectaries are gluttons all, As well the thread-bare cobbler as the knight; 10 For those poor slaves which have not wherewithal, Feed on the rich, till they devour them quite; And so, like Pharaoh's kine, they eat up clean Those that be fat, yet still themselves be lean.

IN LEUCAM. XIV.[475]

Leuca in presence once a fart did let: Some laugh'd a little; she forsook the place; And, mad with shame, did eke her glove forget, Which she return'd to fetch with bashful grace; And when she would have said "this is[476] my glove,"

"My fart," quod she; which did more laughter move.

FOOTNOTES:

[475] Not in MS.

[476] So Isham copy.--Other eds. omit the words "this is."

IN MACRUM. XV.

Thou canst not speak yet, Macer; for to speak, Is to distinguish sounds significant: Thou with harsh noise the air dost rudely break; But what thou utter'st common sense doth want,-- Half-English words, with fustian terms among, Much like the burden of a northern song.

IN FAUSTUM. XVI.

"That youth," said Faustus, "hath a lion seen, Who from a dicing-house comes moneyless."

But when he lost his hair, where had he been?

I doubt me, he[477] had seen a lioness.

FOOTNOTES:

[477] So MS. and eds. B, C. Not in Isham copy or ed. A.

IN COSMUM. XVII.

Cosmus hath more discoursing in his head Than Jove when Pallas issu'd from his brain; And still he strives to be delivered Of all his thoughts at once; but all in vain; For, as we see at all the playhouse-doors, When ended is the play, the dance, and song, A thousand townsmen, gentlemen, and wh.o.r.es, Porters, and serving-men, together throng,-- So thoughts of drinking, thriving, wenching, war, And borrowing money, ranging in his mind, 10 To issue all at once so forward are, As none at all can perfect pa.s.sage find.

IN FLACc.u.m. XVIII.

The false knave Flaccus once a bribe I gave; The more fool I to bribe so false a knave: But he gave back my bribe; the more fool he, That for my folly did not cozen me.

IN CINEAM. XIX.

Thou, dogged Cineas, hated like a dog, For still thou grumblest like a masty[478] dog, Compar'st thyself to nothing but a dog; Thou say'st thou art as weary as a dog, As angry, sick, and hungry as a dog, As dull and melancholy as a dog, As lazy, sleepy, idle[479] as a dog.

But why dost thou compare thee to a dog In that for which all men despise a dog?

I will compare thee better to a dog; 10 Thou art as fair and comely as a dog, Thou art as true and honest as a dog, Thou art as kind and liberal as a dog, Thou art as wise and valiant as a dog.

But, Cineas, I have often[480] heard thee tell, Thou art as like thy father as may be: 'Tis like enough; and, faith, I like it well; But I am glad thou art not like to me.