I was set free on Tuesday in last week at 4 o'Clock.

I came home for ever!

I have been describing my feelings as well as I can to Wordsw'th. in a long letter, and don't care to repeat. Take it briefly that for a few days I was painfully oppressed by so mighty a change, but it is becoming daily more natural to me.

I went and sat among 'em all at my old 33 years desk yester morning; and deuce take me if I had not yearnings at leaving all my old pen and ink fellows, merry sociable lads, at leaving them in the Lurch, f.a.g, f.a.g, f.a.g.

The comparison of my own superior felicity gave me any thing but pleasure.

B.B., I would not serve another 7 years for seven hundred thousand pounds!

I have got 441 net for life, sanctioned by Act of Parliament, with a provision for Mary if she survives me.

I will live another 50 years; or, if I live but 10, they will be thirty, reckoning the quant.i.ty of real time in them, _i.e._ the time that is a man's own.

Tell me how you like "Barbara S."--will it be received in atonement for the foolish Vision, I mean by the Lady?

_Apropos_, I never saw Mrs. Crawford in my life, nevertheless 'tis all true of Somebody.

Address me in future Colebrook Cottage, Islington.

I am really nervous (but that will wear off) so take this brief announcement.

Yours truly C.L.

["Barbara S----," the _Elia_ essay, was printed in the _London Magazine_, April, 1825 (see Vol II. of this edition). It purports to be an incident in the life of Mrs. Crawford, the actress, but had really happened to f.a.n.n.y Kelly.]

LETTER 370

CHARLES LAMB TO SARAH HUTCHINSON

[P.M. April 18, 1825.]

Dear Miss Hutchinson--You want to know all about my gaol delivery. Take it then. About 12 weeks since I had a sort of intimation that a resignation might be well accepted from me. This was a kind bird's whisper. On that hint I spake. Gilman and Tuthill furnishd me with certificates of wasted health and sore spirits--not much more than the truth, I promise you--and for 9 weeks I was kept in a fright-- I had gone too far to recede, and they might take advantage and dismiss me with a much less sum than I had reckoned on. However Liberty came at last with a liberal provision. I have given up what I could have lived on in the country, but have enough to live here by managem't and scribbling occasionally. I would not go back to my prison for seven years longer for 10000 a year. 7 years after one is 50 is no trifle to give up. Still I am a young _Pensioner_, and have served but 33 years, very few I a.s.sure you retire before 40, 45, or 50 years' service.

You will ask how I bear my freedom. Faith, for some days I was staggered. Could not comprehend the magnitude of my deliverance, was confused, giddy, knew not whether I was on my head or my heel as they say. But those giddy feelings have gone away, and my weather gla.s.s stands at a degree or two above

CONTENT

I go about quiet, and have none of that restless hunting after recreation which made holydays formerly uneasy joys. All being holydays, I feel as if I had none, as they do in heaven, where 'tis all red letter days.

I have a kind letter from the Words'wths _congratulatory_ not a little.

It is a damp, I do a.s.sure you, amid all my prospects that I can receive _none_ from a quarter upon which I had calculated, almost more than from any, upon receiving congratulations. I had grown to like poor M. more and more. I do not esteem a soul living or not living more warmly than I had grown to esteem and value him. But words are vain. We have none of us to count upon many years. That is the only cure for sad thoughts. If only some died, and the rest were permanent on earth, what a thing a friend's death would be then!

I must take leave, having put off answering [a load] of letters to this morning, and this, alas! is the 1st. Our kindest remembrances to Mrs.

Monkhouse and believe us

Yours most Truly, C. LAMB.

LETTER 371

CHARLES LAMB TO WILLIAM HORNE

[P.M. May 2, 1825.]

Dear Hone,--I send you a trifle; you have seen my lines, I suppose, in the "London." I cannot tell you how much I like the "St. Chad Wells."

Yours truly

C. LAMB.

P.S. Why did you not stay, or come again, yesterday?

[These words accompany Lamb's contribution, "Remarkable Correspondent,"

to Hone's _Every-Day Book_ (see Vol. I. of this edition). Lamb was helping Hone in his new venture as much as he was able; and Hone in return dedicated the first volume to him. "St. Chad's Wells" was an article by Hone in the number for March 2.]

LETTER 372

CHARLES LAMB TO WILLIAM WORDSWORTH

[No date. May, 1825.]

Dear W. I write post-hoste to ensure a frank. Thanks for your hearty congratulations. I may now date from the 6th week of my Hegira or Flight from Leadenhall. I have lived so much in it, that a Summer seems already past, and 'tis but early May yet with you and other people. How I look down on the Slaves and drudges of the world! its inhabitants are a vast cotton-web of spin spin spinners. O the carking cares! O the money-grubbers-sempiternal muckworms!

Your Virgil I have lost sight of, but suspect it is in the hands of Sir G. Beaumont. I think that circ.u.mstances made me shy of procuring it before. Will you write to him about it? and your commands shall be obeyed to a t.i.ttle.

Coleridge has just finishd his prize Essay, which if it get the Prize he'll touch an additional 100 I fancy. His Book too (commentary on Bishop Leighton) is quite finished and _penes_ Taylor and Hessey.

In the London which is just out (1st May) are 2 papers ent.i.tled the _Superannuated Man_, which I wish you to see, and also 1st Apr. a little thing called Barbara S------ a story gleaned from Miss Kelly. The L.M.

if you can get it will save my enlargement upon the topic of my manumission.

I must scribble to make up my hiatus crumenae, for there are so many ways, pious and profligate, of getting rid of money in this vast city and suburbs that I shall miss my third: but couragio. I despair not.

Your kind hint of the Cottage was well thrown out. An anchorage for _age_ and school of economy when necessity comes. But without this latter I have an unconquerable terror of changing Place. It does not agree with us. I say it from conviction. Else--I do sometimes ruralize in fancy.

Some d------d people are come in and I must finish abruptly. By d------d, I only mean _deuced_. 'Tis these suitors of Penelope that make it necessary to authorise a little for gin and mutton and such trifles.

Excuse my abortive scribble.

Yours not in more haste than heart C.L.