Oisin took some of the food, "Sam, I must go prepare for the funeral.

It be but a short walk to your dwelling from here. Do you think you can make it, or should I remain to give you assistance?"

"No. You are correct. It be a short distance from here, and I am feeling improved after the rest and this drink. I will manage."

She looked at Keddi and Jandra. "You must also prepare for the funeral. Go and get yourselves ready. I will be able to manage by myself."

Oisin just looked at her. "That is not acceptable, Sam."

"I can go to my dwelling and retrieve my tunic, and return to assist The Highest."

Oisin shook her head, "I think not, Jandra. The Highest needs you to tend her. Keddi, I saw you a swift runner. Run to Jandra's to retrieve her tunic and deliver it to Sam's dwelling. Jandra, you can help The Highest return to her castle."

Sam smiled, "You make me laugh, Oisin. Must you go?"

She bent down and said gently to her, "I must Sam. I am sorry. I have much to see to prior to the funeral. I must make certain that the crew has prepared the ships. But know that my heart is with you."

"But these are such sad turns, and they will now be sadder for your departure."

"I will bring you back a fine gift."

"I am not interested in gifts. It would seem to me I have enough riches to wear and horses to ride."

"I will return safely, then, Sam."

"Then it will have to do. Safe journey and swift winds, Oisin. I love you, Sea-Duty Second."

Oisin bent down and tenderly kissed the top of her head, and then departed. Keddi left with Oisin, and Sam got up to begin her slow walk back to her 'castle'.

"Let me help you, Highest."

As they walked back, Jandra asked, "What is your relationship to Oisin, Highest? It be most confusing to me."

She laughed lightly, "To me as well, Jandra. You are not the only one to ask this question. I love Oisin, but not as a companion. She would tire of me in a moon's passing, and she well knows it."

"No woman would tire of you, Sam. Not one."

"This is not truth, and you do not know or understand not Oisin. She would tire of me, and does now. On this voyage of hers, she will take many lovers. I would wager that she has someone in her bed this eve."

"What about commitment? Why does she not remain loyal to you?"

"Me, Jandra? We are not companions, remember. And what of her own companion? I cannot complain. She is but my lover and my protec- - 129 -.

tor. She is feeling closer to me right now because I am so soft and fragile.

When or if my strength returns, she will not like it as much."

"But she loves you. I can see that. It is for all to see."

"She loves the idea of me. The idea she conjures in her head during our absences. That, and she loves my body."

"It be a most excellent body, Highest. But would you not like her as a companion?"

She shook her head, well assured of the answer, "No. You know I turned her down in prior cycles. It be not a good match. I could not have Oisin around for longer than an eve. And I remain uncertain of commitment, anymore. I don't think it is for me."

"Would you not like a companion, Highest?"

Sam paused to stand still and look at Jandra, "Yes. I very much would like to have someone that loves me for me, and I them. But it does not seem meant to be. I seem to have but a series of one-eve relationships.

And perhaps that is for the best. And I am uncertain if I could remain loyal to anyone."

She resumed walking again, "So I enjoy my dalliances with Oisin as I may. There is deep friendship in this, but I do miss the feeling of having someone truly love me, and having someone to speak with in the eves. But I fear I might also tire of them."

"I think more would do this with you than you know."

She laughed, "You just think they would. Like Oisin, sadly, they would only like the notion of me, not the actual woman." She looked over to Jandra. "I mean not to be negative. It is the way it is. I understand and accept it, but will not settle for that in a companion. Brett loved me for me.

She took the moments to know me. This makes no sense?"

"But I saw love in your eyes to Oisin."

"It is not safe to assume what you see, Jandra. Looks can be too deceiving. But she does, as you say, love me well enough. For the moment only, though."

"But I have seen the tenderness between you."

"That is the confounding part of it, and the part that makes me let her back into my bed. That, and she is but a most excellent lover. But I have learned long prior that things are different in the morn. But I do love her."

"We are almost returned. Do you need rest?"

"No. I think I can make it. Please slow up a bit. But what of you?

Do you not want a companion?"

"I have wanted one, but gave up hoping. I, like you, have overly many demands and expectations. I expect to be able to talk together, make plans together, laugh together, and have intimacy. I would like to grow together, but others seem to want their freedom and moments in bed. I, too, like the - 130 -.

moments in bed, and I like freedom. But why have a companion simply for sex? I think it not meant for me. All I see now is that they try to bend me to their ways. There is little compromise. I would like someone who is certain of themselves, and committed."

She looked at Sam, "Are you disappointed that Oisin will not spend this eve with you? I would be."

Sam looked confused, "Disappointed? I do not want Oisin this eve.

What do you speak of, Jandra?"

"You asked her why she could not leave in the morn. Was she not to be your guest this eve?"

"Oh. That. No, I cannot have Oisin with me right now. I am overly tired and weak. I could not entertain her energy this eve. While I much like her ways, she is overly demanding."

"Then perhaps you would choose another, as it is as I said, Highest.

There are many that would have you. There would seem to be a line from my point of view."

She nodded and grinned, "Maybe it be truth, Jandra. In truth, I know not these things and have seen no line out my door. But would I have them, is the question, and I think not. Yet, I must find a companion. As Highest, this now weighs even heavier on me."

"Perhaps your lover this eve might become your companion."

"I have asked no one. And no one has volunteered."

"Be there someone you would ask if it a better moment?"

"Yes. Perhaps. There is. But it is not the moment."

"So there is someone you like. But it seems not enough to move you beyond your fears."

"No. I like this woman well enough, but it is complicated as I am now The Highest. I must take a companion, but I fear of making a bad relationship. As Highest, I must hold a steady relationship to me, as a good example for the community. And there is one that I like but I know not if this woman feels anything toward me. But I have heard her say so herself. But she has had another. But she"

Jandra couldn't believe what she was hearing. Sam was so unsure.

"Highest, hold. You cannot solve this problem in your mind, as it is someone else's mind. You are a beautiful, intelligent, and witty woman that provides excellent company. It is only you that holds back the possibility.

What would you expect of this woman this eve if you had asked and she accepted? Are your expectations so outlandish that this be as impossible?"

"I expect this woman to be very good company. Everyone usually just wants the thought of me or just wants my body. Some moments I just like to sit with someone and talk. I am around women all turn, but often very - 131 -.

alone at eve. And I would but hope that they would understand my mistakes and weaknesses, especially of the flesh."

Jandra laughed, "But you said you had a sorry sex-life. It sounded as if you like sex and want more of it."

Sam laughed, too, "In truth, it is so for both: I do like sex and I do have a sorry sex-life. It be a shame!"

"You? I would think someone with you every eve, like Oisin."

"Oh, Jandra, you do make me laugh. Be not so naive. Once every three moons is more the truth of it. Some moments I get so desperate I think of inviting a guard in. I do not, of course."

"You, Highest?"

She shook her head, "Yes, me. I would better prefer good company, anyway. It is always overly rushed. I would like to perhaps take a meal, talk, laugh, and allow for intimacy if it should occur, or not. A one-eve moment and sex are always a given with me, it would seem."

Jandra nodded, "I agree, Highest. It is very lonely for me at moments, too, but I would rather remain as alone than deal with such relationships. I, too, long for good conversation at moments, so I know well what you mean. It is often difficult for someone my cycles to go in search of a new companion, as required. It seems so graceless. I do not do well with this searching for a companion undertaking."

Jandra helped Sam to sit on one of the patio chairs, "We are finally arrived. Would you like to rest for a few moments before we prepare? I could get you some drink."

"Just a drink, Jandra. I had enough when we ate prior."

"This be not a good eve to be alone, Highest. You should have invited someone over. Even Meera and Caitha would have come."

Sam nodded, "I know this as truth, Jandra, but there are moments that they too must be allowed their privacy. I know what these events do to Meera, and she needs her moments with Caitha this eve, as Caitha will make it better for her."

"And who will make it better for you, Highest?"

Sam just shook her head, Oh, Brett, where are you now?

Sam had changed from her daily garments to another high regal tunic, this one a dark blue in representation of The Highest transforming back to the Spirits of the Falls. Jandra did likewise with the tunic that Keddi had dropped over. Keddi was waiting for Sam in the meeting room.

"Keddi. I know not you were here."

"Highest, I have need to speak with you."

Keddi's dog came up to Sam. "Your dog seems much improved, Keddi. Is he well now?"

Sam bent down and petted the dog.

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"His name is Rundle. He is healing quickly. I am glad of his safe return to me and owe The Healers and Jenna many favors."

Rundle seemed very happy with Sam, and was licking her face. She laughed, "Rundle, I am pleased you are here." She stood back up. "What did you wish to speak with me about, Keddi?"

Keddi kept shifting on both legs, "Highest, when I first arrived, I sensed you cared for me a great deal."

"Yes, of course, Keddi. I yet do."

"In what way, Highest?"

"In what way? Whatever do you mean, Keddi? You are a wonderful woman highly skilled in defense, and a great asset to Woden. You have risked your life for us, and came back to save The Highest. You are a brave and honorable woman, and Brett would be proud of you. I am proud of you, as is all the community. You are but an excellent role model for all our daughters. I hope you remain in the community, as we have great need of you. And you are my beloved sister by companionship, and daughter, as I am Highest."

"Yes, Highest. But is that all?"

"All?" Sam thought about her question for a moment, and then guessed her meaning. "Ah, I see where you head."

Sam sat down. "Please sit with me, Keddi." She waited for Keddi to sit. "You ask me if I care for you as a companion."

"Yes, Highest. That is my question."

She shook her head, "No, Keddi. I will give truth. You are Brett's sister and it would be unfair to the both of us. I would only compare you to Brett. You need someone who wants you for yourself. You have wonderful attributes and I am most certain you will make a fine companion, but I do not think it is for us. In truth, I thought of it for a moment. I have noticed your beauty, and I do much admire your abilities, but hope I offend you not, Keddi."

Keddi looked relieved, "No, you do not offend me, Highest. I might have been offended prior midturn, but since you healed me, for which I will owe you much and will repay in several fold, I have met someone who excites me very much."

Sam smiled, also relieved, "Ah. Would that be young Margeria, Keddi?"

Keddi looked surprised, "It would, Highest, but how did you know?

Oh, through your senses."

Sam knew just by watching Keddi with Margeria, but had no need to tell her that, "Then I am happy for you. It will become an excellent match."

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"I will have no need to remain here any longer, Highest. But if you would like me this eve, for increased protection, I would be pleased to remain."