Her further instructions had been to keep them damp for the first few days while they adjusted to their new home, but after that, to let them dry out completely between waterings. They liked lots of sunshine but didn't need much in terms of food or water. It sounded like a great way to live.

So far my favorite lavender was Grosso. When I stroked its foliage to release its fragrance the way Rosie had shown me, it didn't have quite the sweet smell of the shorter, feistier Munstead. Grosso's scent was stronger, with almost a hint of camphor. I liked its long, brave, pointy stems and the way the whole plant stretched gracefully and unapologetically, not afraid to take its full space in the world.

I parked my car in front of the former elementary school and half-ran, half-skipped down the hallway between the rows of kiddie-size lockers. Since we'd decided all our extra pedometer mileage would count, too, maybe I'd stay after the meeting and do some laps around the school. It was incredible how just having a reason to put one foot in front of the other had lifted my mood. I could almost imagine that someday I'd have a full life again.

"Time management is one of the first things to slide," Brock, the cute little career coach, was saying as I tiptoed into the room.

"Case in point," one of the guys said. Everybody looked up at me, and he patted the chair next to him.

"Wardrobe's next to go," another guy said. Unless all his T-shirts were gray and had holes in the armpits, he was wearing the same one as last time. "One week you're in a suit, and the next thing you know..." He looked me up and down, then shook his head.

It felt amazingly like being in high school. The cute, or at least the scruffily cute, guys were finally talking to me, and I couldn't think of a thing to say. I grabbed an empty chair at one end of the semicircle and sat down.

I must have been really late, since Brock had the video camera set up already. I tried to take up as little space as possible on my chair, so he wouldn't call on me.

He looked right at me. "We'll start with you."

"But...," I said.

"Come on, what's your story, morning glory?" one of the guys said.

Brock gave his hands a little clap. "That's it. Exactly. Tell us your story, Gloria."

The class started to snicker. It was kind of hard to know where to go from there. Should I start by giving my real name, and if so, should I go for Nora, or just resign myself to Noreen? Or maybe we only had to start with an introduction the first time we embarrassed ourselves in front of the camera.

"Come on, we don't have all day here," a woman with blond hair and graying roots a mile long said. "Oh wait, we do."

Everybody cracked up. I waited, hoping they'd forget about me and go on to someone else.

"Laugh if you will," Brock said. "But your ability to tell the world who you are is the first step to figuring out what you want your life to be."

He pushed a button on the video camera. He lifted one hand over his head and brought it down like the clapper on a movie set. "Go," he said.

"Me?" I said.

"Good try," one of the guys said.

I looked at the camera and tried to smile. "Okay, I'm Noreen Kelly, but I think I'd like to be Nora. I have absolutely no idea who I am since I stopped working, or how I got to be my age knowing as little about the world outside the office as I do, but I'd really like to think there's still hope for me."

"Cut," Brock said.

"Sorry," I said. "Did I do it wrong?"

Brock was too busy attaching the camera to a monitor with a cord to answer.

"If you're going to play that or anything, would it be okay if I left the room?" I asked.

Brock pushed a button on the monitor, and suddenly there I was, looking like a Looney Tunes character who wanted to run but couldn't, since her knees had turned to jelly and she'd just found out her feet were nailed to the floor. For a long moment nothing happened, then one side of my mouth turned up in a sickly smile.

"Oh, God," I said. I buried my face in my hands and peeked out between my fingers.

On the screen, I started flapping my hands around like an idiot and talking really fast. I seemed to be saying something about havingabsolutelynoideawhoIam havingabsolutelynoideawhoIam.

It was so bad, nobody even made a crack. We all just sat there in silence while Brock disconnected the cable from the camera.

"So," Brock said. "Tell us what you're thinking."

I scrunched my eyes closed. "Who the hell was that?"

"Exactly," Brock said. "So think about it for next time and we'll try again. In the meantime, if you don't have a video camera at home, you might try putting your one-page story in writing. A first step on the way to creating a life script, if you will."

I faded in and out while the rest of the class took their turns, but I saw enough to know I was definitely the worst.

As soon as the session was over, I made a beeline for the door.

"Yo, Gloria," a male voice said behind me.

I kept walking.

An arm came around my shoulder, and I tried to shrug it off. It stuck, so I stopped walking and ducked out from under it.

"Hey, nice move," another male voice said. "Maybe you should consider a career in the martial arts."

There was an unemployed guy in front of me and an unemployed guy behind me, so I wasn't quite sure which way to turn. I decided to hold my ground. I crossed my arms over my chest and just stood there.

The woman with the messy hair I'd sat next to last time walked up beside me. "Don't worry," she said, "what they're lacking in maturity they make up for in age."

"Okay, truce, Janie," one of the guys said. He turned to me. He had dark hair and stubble and deep-set dark eyes, and up close he smelled really good. "She's just upset because she wanted to go out with me, and I said I didn't want a casual fling-I was saving myself for someone special. By the way, my name is Mark."

"Ignore him," the other guy said. He held out his hand. He had cat green eyes and lighter hair and stubble, and he smelled pretty damn good, too. "I don't think we've officially met. My name is Rick."

"But he's thinking about changing it to Dick," the other guy said.

I let go and started walking away again. Fast.

Janie caught up to me first. She matched her stride to mine. "Don't let them get to you," she said. "Call yourself whatever you want. It's actually a great time to make a name change."

"Thanks," I said.

"Hey, where are you going?" one of the guys yelled behind us. "We need two more players for a Wii doubles tennis match. We played singles last week and it was way too strenuous."

Janie and I walked out to the parking lot together, completely ignoring the scruffy guys.

WHEN I PULLED into my driveway, Tess's daughter was sitting cross-legged at the edge of her lawn. I stopped my car down by the road and got out. into my driveway, Tess's daughter was sitting cross-legged at the edge of her lawn. I stopped my car down by the road and got out.

"Hi," I said. "I'm Noreen. I don't think we've ever met."

"Hannah," she said. Even sullen, she was pretty. She had blond hair and pale blue eyes, plus that long-limbed, effortless teenage beauty you only appreciate decades later when you look back at it in old photos.

"Aren't you getting eaten alive out here? I mean, do you want to come in or something?"

"Can't. I'm not allowed to leave the property."

I sat down next to her and crossed my legs, too. "How come?"

"I stayed out a little late, like that's a big deal." She rolled her eyes. "Grounded."

"How long?"

"The rest of my life?"

I laughed. "Don't worry. I know your mother. She'll cave before you're thirty."

"Ha." Hannah sighed. "It's so unfair. It's my last summer before college. I'm supposed supposed to go out." to go out."

"Do you want me to talk to her?" popped out of my mouth.

"You'd do that?"

"Sure," I said. "Why not?"

"Sweet," Hannah said.

Day 13

13,555 steps

TESS ROLLED AN OLD RED WAGON FILLED WITH HANDHELD weights over to my garage. We taped up the strength-training poster that had come with them on the wall next to our mileage map. weights over to my garage. We taped up the strength-training poster that had come with them on the wall next to our mileage map.

"Are you sure nobody at your house is using them?" I asked.

"Oh, please," Tess said. "Do you want the treadmill and rowing machine, too? Talk about overpriced clothes hangers. I've also got a butt buster, a tummy toner, and a thigh thing, and somewhere up in the attic I still even have one of those vibrating exercise belts, plus one of those wooden roller machines you sit on to break up the cellulite. Maybe you could dust them all off and open up a garage gym."

"Thanks," I said, "but I think this is probably plenty. By the way, I met Hannah yesterday. She's adorable. Wow, it really brings it all back, doesn't it? Remember that last summer before you went away to college, how important it was to spend every minute going out with your old friends, before you all went your separate ways?"

Tess put her hands on her hips. "Don't tell me she got to you already. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Morning," Rosie said. "Hey, I've got some extra exercise mats I could bring over." She held up a handful of tangled pale purple shoelaces. "This is all I brought today."

"Aww," I said. "Lavender laces. Where did you find them?"

"My mother must have dyed them," Rosie said. "I was going through the junk drawer yesterday, and there they were." She wiggled a shoelace free and handed it to me.

Tess was already on the floor, unlacing her sneakers.

As soon as we'd replaced our laces, we headed for the street.

"Nobody'll miss us, that's for sure," Tess said. "Maybe we should have calling cards made. You know, The Lavender Ladies."

"Or The Lavender Lace Ladies," Rosie said. "It sounds like a Victorian sewing circle."

"Can't wait to pass those cards around," I said. "I'm sure they'll do wonders for my social life."

Rosie stepped up ahead of us on the sidewalk.

"If we have to have a name," I said, "I think we should be The Wildwater Way Women. It sounds more adventurous."

"Or even The Wildwater Walking Club," Tess said. "It's still adventurous, but it's got a nice official ring to it."

Rosie turned around. "I don't know. Doesn't that sound to you like we should be walking on on the water?" the water?"

"Not necessarily," Tess said. "And I don't think it would hurt to occasionally consider the possibility."

"Okay," Rosie said. "Done."

"And done," I said.

I raised both hands over my head. "How do we walk?" I yelled.

"Fast?" Rosie said.

"No," I said. "The Wildwater Way!"

"Cute," Tess said. "Okay, how do we do everything?"

"The Wildwater Way!" Rosie and I yelled. A car drove by and beeped. We all waved.

"Okay," I said. "Moving on. I looked up my frequent flier miles last night. I have tons, too, and I'm happy to share. I always meant to use them, but I could never find any flights that worked. Plus I hardly ever took my vacation time."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Tess asked.

"Not anymore," I said.

"What happened?" Rosie asked.

I shrugged. "Who knows."