"You know, Ana, how we told you that we had lived our lives separately? We weren't all just roommates hanging out all of the time." Cyril snuck a smile as he headed to the fridge for another Rockstar.

"Really? Do tell!"

"This really was your home that you shared, ALONE, with Athen. We had one, too, in Seattle. The problem was as things began to happen, similar to now actually, we decided it would be better to stay together for a little while. Granted, our little while can mean 50 years or so, but in the scheme of things, it's not so long."

"Well, that would explain why so many of my memories only include him and I. Thanks for that tidbit yet again. It makes more sense with the things I've been finding while digging around here. So now, how about that training? I'm not going to let you guys off the hook." I said grinning, the facade of the energy drink beginning to overtake my body at long last and the pain in my arm slowly diminishing.

Chapter 14.

We had found a secluded area to begin my training. The goal was to go through some of the fundamentals of fighting. Fighting in the underworld was a heck of a lot different than a few fist-fights and slaps. I think once Cyril and Arie walked in on me while I was giving my best effort against Lilith at the hospital, it became pitifully obvious that the best thing for me, at this point, was to expose me to as much as possible. Demon fighting being one of the topics they wanted to explore - along with a glimpse into shapeshifting. Not knowing what other trouble I could possibly get myself into, I wholeheartedly agreed.

We had walked about four miles up from Anderson Cove in the Sooke Basin. It was drizzling, making it perfect for the activities we had planned. We hadn't run into any hikers on the entire trail, and I was pretty sure none would show up since the day's weather was expected to only get worse. Privacy was best for this type of thing for sure.

The views were absolutely breathtaking, overlooking the Strait of Juan de Fuca and the Olympic Peninsula, it made me a little homesick for our Kingston home. Seeing the edge of the Olympic Peninsula, remembering everything wonderful that took place there, I wanted Athen to magically appear by my side and tell me it was all another bad dream. Taking in the lush rain forests from this vantage point also gave me an entirely new respect for the forests that could someday help or hinder us in our fight against the demons. The jagged cliffs were a severe reminder of the danger presented both by human nature and the apparent otherworld that existed in between.

"Alright, daydreamer." Cyril shouted, competing against the howling wind and crashing waves from below. "It's time!"

Before I knew it, he jumped through the wind and disappeared. My heart started pounding because I had never seen any of them do that before. I was pretty sure it was possible, but I had never seen it. I whipped my head in all directions and couldn't find him. He literally vanished before my eyes. I hollered for Arie and craned my neck to where she was last standing but all that was left was her backpack.

"Ok, guys, not cool. Where are you?" I was backing up away from the cliff trying to stay somewhat centered. I was staring intently into the air and nothing was surfacing n.o.body was around. All I heard was the wind and possibly laughter.

The laughter was getting louder and louder, but I still saw nothing. I kept backing up until I was on the edge of the dark forest, not a place I wanted to enter at the moment. Before I knew what happened, I felt my entire body being pulled with a hurricane force. I was no longer on the ground. I saw Arie swirling around in front of me. I felt for what was holding me up and finally found Cyril's hand around my waist. I reached up behind me, and he was holding onto me. How he was able to grab me so quickly was hopefully one of the many tricks I'd soon be learning. I looked around and realized we were above the forests. I wasn't just a foot or two off the ground - I was above the Douglas firs and Hemlocks. We weren't flying. We were floating. I scanned below and saw the crashing waves at the bottom of the granite ledge I had only left moments before. The feeling of freedom was beginning to spread throughout my entire body. This was a real possibility for me. At the moment, yes, I was being held up, but I knew soon I'd be able to do this myself.

"Watch this, Ana." Arie shouted as she dove back down to the ground in a swooping motion almost more graceful than the bald eagles we spied on our hike up to this locale. I was in total awe. In the next moment, she shot back into the sky with such energy she turned into a blur. However, she was coming right at us, blur or not. I squeezed onto Cyril's arm as the threat of her crashing into us became very real.

"Don't you worry about us, Ana." Cyril spoke, attempting to calm my nerves and doing nothing of the sort. She shot right past us and disappeared into thin air, leaving nothing in her trace.

"Where are you guys going when you do that? I don't get it." I asked Cyril.

"We are still here, but we are so fast, we can't be seen. It takes some getting used to." He replied.

"Well then, how can we trace each other when we are in battle? It seems like it could be a real disadvantage if we can't see one another." I felt our bodies slowly begin to descend back down to stable ground. It felt like the most bizarre elevator ride I had ever encountered. I just prayed Cyril didn't let go.

"You'll learn to be able to track energy. See," Cyril said pointing to a boulder resting on the far edge of the cliff, "Arie is over there."

I followed his finger and saw nothing but a moss-covered boulder.

"Really?" I said a little perturbed.

"Yeah, I promise. Think of it this way, what do you feel most when you think of Arie? What pops into your head about her?"

"I'd have to say her positive energy. She gets excited over everything, doesn't seem to matter what it is. She's really a bundle of positive energy."

"Alright, well, close your eyes and really feel that. Think about Arie, and what she means to us and to the world. Concentrate on what she leaves behind wherever she goes. Feel the vibe she gives off to people around her and her surroundings."

My eyes were closed tightly, and I was thinking hard about the infectious way Arie had about her. She was the life of the party and always cheered me up for sure by mere proximity. I thought of her bouncing around in excitement when we were all at the Christmas tree farm when Athen was with us. My heart immediately began warming with these thoughts of her and Athen. I did my best to push him out of my mind for this exercise.

"Now, open your eyes, and look where I pointed last."

I opened my eyes, holding onto the feelings that I had imagined when thinking of Arie. I looked at the boulder and didn't see anything. Then I looked up above the boulder towards the cloud-covered sky and saw her gracefully making her way down to the boulder, but she was going warp speed.

"I can see her!" I squealed. I couldn't believe it. Her hair was blowing behind her swirling around indicating she was going pretty fast.

"I knew you could do it, Ana. This is the kind of thing we need. You can see why this is pretty important, huh?" Cyril said smiling as we started walking over to meet Arie.

"So why don't we use that all the time?" I asked, kind of wondering why we took the slow way around places.

"It drains quite a bit of energy. We can do it in quick spurts for sure, but it isn't something that we want to always do because if we need it, we could be out of luck. That and shapeshifting can leave us pretty drained. In certain circ.u.mstances, it's a must. We don't want to use it as a crutch though. The real thing we need to focus on with you right now are your fighting abilities and your strength.

"So is that speed thing something you think I'll be able to do pretty soon or is that a sneak preview that I'll have to wait years for?" I asked, unsure that I could ever master that kind of power.

"Geez, Ana. As fast as you seem to be catching onto things I'd say, with practice, a month or so... Not that far off really." Arie said, hugging Cyril. "Better get started with the serious stuff now, Cy." She swatted him on his b.u.t.t.

"Gotcha. Ana, stand over by the trees. First thing we want to work on is your running attacks."

I walked back over to the trees that were dripping with moss, creating the rich rainforest green the Northwest was so known for. I spun around ready to absorb everything Cyril and Arie were ready to divulge. This time it looked like it was Cyril's turn to show off. He was positioned in a crouch, not unlike the ones I had seen him in during the attacks when Athen was with us all. He was low to the ground, hunching over with his arm in front of him like he was ready to win a track event.

He jetted towards me with a speed that rivaled Arie's acrobatics in the air. I actually wasn't sure if he was on the ground, or possibly just grazing it as he jetted towards me. In a flash, he was behind me pushing down the towering Douglas fir with momentum from his movements, nothing more. The ground began to shake as the roots were flinging up, releasing themselves through the soil like a bucket full of snakes being thrown into the wind. Arie pulled me into the air with her before I was engulfed by the havoc that was being created in mere seconds by Cyril. The loud snapping of the limbs as they brushed against the other trees on their way down was nothing compared to the thunderous crash the trunk of the fir tree made once it contacted the ground. I couldn't believe that kind of destruction could be done with Cyril only running 30 feet. It also made me wonder with such power, how could Athen have lost against the demons? How much more powerful are they than us? Arie set me back down on the ground where a mini crater was now staring back at us from Cyril's act of destruction.

"Good thing a wind storm is scheduled for tonight." Cyril said, his c.o.c.kiness not to be missed.

"Now, I want you to emulate what you saw, Ana." Cyril said, as if that were a real possibility.

"Um, right okay. I'll just start running towards that boulder over there and hope for the best. By the way, should I stop once I get to it or just keep going?" I joked.

"With that att.i.tude, I'd suggest stopping beforehand." Cyril said, not amused with my humor. This wasn't a side of Cyril I had really seen before. "Come on, Ana. Think about what you learned when you saw Arie when you thought you couldn't."

"What... I'm supposed to become one with the rock? Honestly, I'm sorry. I don't see the correlation between a living person and a piece of stone."

"It's not about living or not living, Arie. It's about energy. Projecting your energy on an item, and receiving energy from an item. Tell yourself what you want to do, and let the energy begin to consume yourself and the item of interest. You'll be surprised."

Interestingly enough, I was kind of starting to get what they were talking about. If I can see it, and if I can believe it, then I can achieve it - self help 101. Great!

I shook my head at Cyril and Arie and stood in place. I took a deep breath in, letting the moist air penetrate my lungs as I thought about what it was I wanted from that boulder. I wanted it to move. I wanted to move the piece of earth. I felt my knuckles begin to feel as if I needed to pound them against something. Anger was beginning to build - excitement was next. I envisioned myself taking control of a completely inanimate object and controlling it. I let the air escape my lungs as I felt an uncontrollable energy build. I found myself crouching in the position I had seen my family do so many times before. I was in another element. I let my eyes slowly open to view the large boulder in front of me. I took in one more breath and shot myself towards the insurmountable piece of rock. I felt like I was on fire as I sped directly for my target. I closed my eyes picturing the boulder being displaced while my speed continued to burn my flesh. My voice screamed out for Athen with all of my might as I shoved the boulder off of the cliff, with my body following directly behind the ma.s.s as we tumbled towards the ocean.

Chapter 15.

After the cliff incident, I began to understand my strength a little better. Shockingly, as I fell over the cliff there was no fear only desperation. There was the desperation to get Athen back, and the desperation for my training to be over with, and the desperation to just be done with everything - have a bit of normalcy. I was thankful that Cyril and Arie were able to save me before I crashed into the waves - don't get me wrong. But the weight of the world was resting on my shoulder and there was a milli-second or two where crashing towards the ocean didn't seem like the worst thing. Cyril's words interrupted my thoughts, probably for the better.

"I've been thinking about it...With him fleeing the hospital like that our plan could really be delayed. Not that I blame him with what he saw. He very well may want to throw himself off a cliff after that one. Walking in on a girl you thought you knew, looking like a serpent, fighting who he thinks is her sister? Pair that up with whatever hunch he has been having about Angels and Demons, and he probably thought he went off the deep end." Cyril almost seemed amused.

"Glad you can find the humor in this, Cy but, I'm not. I feel like I'm doomed to make this Awakening and reintroduction process fail. I can't seem to control my actions. I find myself in a fight with that demon woman, only steps away from Athen where he can and does walk into it? Come on! I should be the one committed! You know, it's amazing you guys were able to get me so quickly from the fall. I still can't quite get over that."

"Well, our odds might have improved to get Athen back if we had let you fall into the ocean." Cyril said, trying to add some levity to the seriousness of my mistakes.

"The truth is, Ana, that if somehow he lets himself understand or believe what is going on, and he taps into some of those powers, he could stay away for a very long time. He has the ability to stay away, stay hidden. We all do. Usually, it never comes into play because once the Awakening has begun, the person has no clue what's going on, and it's the family that can reintroduce everything in a somewhat safe environment. They would have no reason to run because they don't think anything is going on. Unfortunately, I think it's safe to say that might not be the case any longer with Athen."

My head began throbbing, right behind my eyes. I squeezed my eyes shut attempting to not let any light reach my soul. The pain was overwhelming, or maybe it was the desperation that was welling up inside. Maybe it was one creating the other. I had no idea, and I didn't care. Now thinking that Athen could be fleeing not only the demon woman but us as well, created a sickness well beyond anything I had control over.

"So we can stay gone? Forever? I thought we could always track our loved ones. Remember the homing beacon and all?" In addition to the intense throbbing, I was certain things were beginning to spin. "I don't understand. I really don't understand."

"This doesn't normally happen. But being that he doesn't really remember us, I'm guessing, the nonsensical scene that he witnessed created a real glitch in the process. It seems like he was onto this world or the idea of Demons and Angels and somehow still connected to his past just enough to make some of these things seem tangible. I think there was a good chance he was on the verge of getting some memories back, maybe not the ones we needed; so when he saw what he saw at the hospital, he might have realized he was onto something a little too frightening. Things may have come back all right leading him to the conclusion to stay away. Since we weren't there to place the memories, there is no certainty what he does or does not remember. He could be escaping everything, including us." Arie was shifting uncomfortably on the couch.

"Like a nomad? I thought that was only for the dark demons? I didn't think the white demons went through that." I needed to lay down. This wasn't even an option that I knew was possible but if he can disappear maybe I could too.

"They are usually the only ones that use it because the families never want to separate. This situation is creating circ.u.mstances I never accounted for, Ana. My guess is that he wants to stay hidden, and he will, until he's ready. If he is ready."

Feeling numb, I stood up and waved to them both to stop talking. I needed to lay down. I felt as if I was mourning Athen all over again. Was that the last time I saw him? In the hospital? The thought of him not wanting to be found, especially not be found by me, brought my world crashing down around me.

I crawled under my covers wishing that I could take back so many things. The library, Starbucks, the hospital - all encounters that could have been harmless, but I interfered, forcing myself onto him in ways that seemed so innocuous. Not realizing that my jealousy was raging created a platform for destruction far worse than whether or not Lilith might win him over. Here for months, I was filled with worry beyond anything that I would lose him to her. Instead, it wasn't Lilith that I lost him to. It was me chasing him away as fast as I could, probably leaving him to want to hide from the world.

I began calculating how long I should give myself before I offer my soul up to the other side, become a dark one. It was the only way I could imagine leaving the memories behind, avoid the Awakening from my family, become just a listless ghoul roaming from place to place. I wouldn't have to suffer feeling this pain any longer. I could just disappear as Athen did. If I won't ever get him back, it seems like the only solution. Never mind becoming the very creature I loathe. At least the pain would go away. Should I give it a week, a month? I wondered how to get a more definite timeline out of Arie and Cyril without raising suspicion. The disappointment and disgust I would leave them with was indescribable, that I was sure. Maybe they would understand; maybe they wouldn't. I doubt they have ever thought that they might be faced with never seeing each other again time and time again. Never again getting to feel the love that flows between them.

The gravity and disgust of the situation I was debating made the pain in my head searing. I grappled with the idea of leaving everything and everyone I loved behind. I wondered if there was a way to actually achieve this. I felt myself moving closer to the edge - the edge of insanity, the edge of darkness, and worse of all, the edge of not caring.

I looked around my room through different lenses. I could actually feel the change beginning to take place. The coldness was beginning to infiltrate every thought. The walls were beginning to build around my heart. I hated to think about this, but I couldn't fight it. The potential of not being with Athen was creating this monster inside of me.

Certain that I again had a visitor in the night, I decided to let Cyril and Arie know. If the visitor wanted to cause harm, wouldn't that have happened already? My mind drifted to a possibility that I knew wasn't feasible, but there was a tiny glimmer of hope that I couldn't squash.

It seemed like when I needed faith and hope the most, that's when it would appear. A lingering message meant only for me but from whom? Last night I was certain, I recognized his touch. My hair lightly blew against my neck before feeling his hand caress my face. Not wanting it to end, I kept my eyes shut. As I felt the touch of his skin against mine, I did my best to promise myself I wasn't dreaming, but I couldn't be sure because when I finally did open my eyes there was no one in sight, yet again.

I didn't want to approach it with Cyril and Arie as if I was thinking it was Athen. There was no way they would believe that. I had to present it as a stranger in my room, which, truthfully, was far more plausible than the other option. Even I knew this deep inside.

Waking up without Matilda was killing me. She would have provided clarity on my sanity, that I was sure of. But, I wasn't the lucky one to have her right now. The silence of my bedroom was deafening as I got ready for the day. No snorts, snores, or grunts from Matilda preparing me for the day's adventures. I really did hope that she was providing the same level of comfort for Athen as she had for me for so many years.

Hearing Arie in the kitchen I decided to bring it up with her first. My goal was to make these strange occurrences sound more casual than they felt. That was my first mission. My second, was to do my best to m.u.f.fle the desperation that I was feeling deep within my soul. I had to take these appearances as a sign a sign not to give up. I had to do my best to rid myself of these awful feelings that kept trying to drift through my world. The level of conflict I was feeling constantly was exhausting.

Pouring myself a gla.s.s of orange juice, I looked over at Arie.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Of course, sweetie. What's up?" She asked, spinning around from the sink where she was washing berries.

"I've been having something happening to me at night. It's kind of weird, and maybe I'm dreaming is all..." Uttering the words out loud made me more nervous than I realized.

"Okaaay?" She was staring at me like I had horns growing out of my head.

"Someone has been in my room. It has happened twice. I can't see them, but I know they're there."

Completely alarmed now, Arie put the dish of berries down searching for the right words.

"If you can't see them or it, how do you know there is someone there, Ana?"

"A touch." Was all I could get out before I turned quickly to the fridge to play like I needed more orange juice. The tears were starting their way into my life again, and I didn't want anyone to see them. To me, they meant something different than what they would represent to anyone else. Blinking as fast as I could to make them dissolve back to where they came from, I did my best to seem normal and sat down at the table where Arie was already sitting.

Looking intently at me, she asked the question I wished she didn't.

"Who do you think it was?"

"I don't know." I knew she knew I was lying, but bringing up something that I was told was impossible was useless anyhow.

"And you're sure it wasn't like those other times, like at Thanksgiving where the demon was appearing before you?"

"Oh, most definitely not that type of thing." I said doing my best to divulge as little as possible. I didn't need that last little tweak implying I was crazy on top of everything else. I was fighting that feeling enough, privately.

Silence was how our conversation ended, making me wonder what I really did by divulging it all.

Chapter 16.

We pulled up to our home in Kingston, searching for what I wasn't actually sure. We had all made some lame excuse about needing certain things from this particular house. Arie announced that she needed another jacket and rain boots. Cyril said he wanted some of his tools for working on the house in Victoria. I only claimed that I wanted to sleep in our bed once more since he seemed to be slipping away from me bit by bit. I know our stay up there was longer than we thought it would be. Truth be told, none of us needed anything except a break. We needed to regroup and regain some sort of normalcy.

Attacks were becoming more frequent. Athen was still AWOL, and I had absolutely no energy left to partic.i.p.ate in life whatsoever. We needed a vacation from our daily lives. I had been searching for some sign of Athen for so long now and was coming up empty-handed beyond what was possibly a figment of my imagination. I needed to come back to a place where we shared some very special memories. I was pretty certain that my non-talk with Arie had something to do with our unexpected trip back down to Kingston as well. Honestly, I didn't care what the reason was. I was simply happy to be back. I was tired of fighting the evil thoughts that kept infiltrating me to my core.

Being able to crawl under the covers that Athen and I last inhabited was all I craved. I hoped that by being back at the Kingston home, I'd find a little bit of solitude and let go of the monstrous thoughts that kept creeping in. I knew Whistler certainly wouldn't provide that especially with the off-chance of running into some of my acquaintances. The only people who understood even a glimpse of what I was going through were right here in this car.

The garage door opened welcoming us back to a bit of normalcy - minus one person and a very affectionate bulldog. I was relieved to see Athen's Lotus parked in the garage. It made me feel like he was possibly upstairs waiting for us to return from a day of shopping or some such errand. I was willing to let myself play the fantasy if it gave me even a few seconds of relief. Cyril put the brake on, and we all climbed out of the car. As Arie unlocked the door leading into the house, I found myself holding my breath - for what I wasn't sure.

The door swung open and something seemed off immediately. I looked at Arie and Cyril to gauge their reaction. They didn't seem to be taken aback at all. I lugged in my overnight bag, flipping on the lights as I went from the mudroom to the kitchen to the stairs. I felt that someone had been in this house since we last were. I spun around dropping my bag on the floor.

"Aren't you guys going to say anything? I know it isn't just me feeling that?" I was looking straight at Arie waiting for some sort of affirmation.

"I honestly don't feel anything. What do you mean?" Arie set her purse down and looked at Cyril, shaking her head in confusion. "Do you feel anything?"