After the desert, the Jews and Turks brought coffee, tea, chocolate, tobacco, aqua vitae, liquors, and opium. The lords drank of all, and Jupiter partook so freely of tobacco and brandy, that he became quite elevated: he began to sing a song in the Greek language, the substance of which was: "What a charming spectacle for the mighty Lucifer! the dead dispersed throughout this cavern, are to him delicious meats. Subtle Love, and you G.o.ds of combat, theft, and drunkenness, contribute to content the taste and desires of our sovereign. So long as one remains in Tartarus, he must not hope for any other pleasure; we must not think of objects to be procured in other places."-While Jupiter repeated this song, Juno accompanied him, saying: "So long as one regains in Tartarus, he must not hope for any other pleasure. Lovers, you enhance our joy, for death hath separated you for ever."-In imitation of Jupiter and Juno, Mercury and Mars sang thus: "Yes, while one remains in Tartarus, he cannot hope for other pleasures. The money which was our love, is lost for ever: we love it still, but despairing of enjoyment."-Mars, with a voice of thunder, sang. "Yes, when one is in Tartarus, he must not hope for other pleasures. War, which was our delight, is no more for us, but a vain flourish: here one hears neither fife nor drum."

After this little concert, which amused Lucifer, he made them call the players upon instruments, who joined the G.o.ds and G.o.ddesses. There was then heard the most frightful music: with the sound of violins and other instruments, which were played upon by those who had been musicians in the other world, there mingled a horrid noise of thunder, and raging wind, such as it produces when it rushes through a straight street, or groans, amid a wood of firs. This noise was succeeded by another, like that which is heard at the eruption of Mount Vesuvius or Etna: my ear was struck with a bellowing, like that of the sea, when agitated by a furious tempest. All these agents yielded to a choir of voices, that issued from the lowest depths: there was heard nothing but complaints, groans, cries, and howlings, similar to those of dogs, impatient of confinement. I should have expired with fear, if I had not been previously warned, that this was the music which would divert the prince of h.e.l.l. Jupiter and Mars, in spite of their intrepidity, found this music so disagreeable, that they ceased singing, and signified their uneasiness to Lucifer.

They then removed the table, and the service of plate; and the audience having been resumed, they began to call up cases of different states; and after having disposed of those pertaining to the people of justice, the sword, and the church, they cited the women of all conditions. The beautiful Helen then appeared, who complained that at her return from the siege of Troy, she had been condemned to be hung by Polixo, her relation, at whose house, in the isle of Rhodes, she had taken refuge, Nisistratus and Megapontus having driven her from Greece. She was asked if she had consented to be abducted by Paris; if she had accorded him the last favours before leaving Peloponessus; if she had granted the same to the king of Egypt, when his vessel touched at her country. She answered ingenuously to these questions, that having been married by policy and force, to prince Menelaus, she had acquainted him that she did not love him.

"Did you love," said Lucifer, "the Trojan prince before marriage?"

"I had not then seen him; but my heart was never for Menclaus; it was free when Paris came to Argos, and its first impression was in favour of this stranger prince. Am I culpable for all the evils caused by the siege of Troy? Furthermore, the Greeks ought not to complain of this abduction, as a breach of hospitality: some years before, they had taken away a Trojan lady; and in ancient times, had not Jupiter, of Grecian origin, stolen Europa, a young princess of Asia, from this part of the world, inhabited by Trojans?"

Menelaus spoke after his wife, whose ingrat.i.tude and infidelity he exaggerated; he accused her of having poisoned him on the return from Troy. "Why a.s.sa.s.sinate me, when she had the liberty to go to her relations? Could I have done more to express my regret at her loss, after her elopement, than by building to her memory a temple, consecrated to Venus?"

"You are a very clever man," said Jupiter to Menelaus; "who told you that a husband could make his wife love him by caresses and services? A woman who does not love her husband, takes all his cares for stratagems, invented by jealousy: she believes him false and wicked. Accuse only your patience and weakness; and between ourselves who are dead, since the living cannot hear it, it is a very good joke, to make so much noise about the infidelity of a coquette:" and Jupiter sang a song, the burden of which was, that one was often very happy to be rid of his wife, as he then could enjoy the advantages of liberty.

"Am I permitted to be as stoical as you are?" said Menelaus. "One must have a great force of spirit, to vanquish a pa.s.sion like that of love: how cruel, to love without return! Ah! I now condemn myself: let Helen prosecute her quarrel with her relation Polixo, to which I am a stranger."

"Since this Grecian prince is voluntarily condemned," said Lucifer, "I am about to pa.s.s sentence upon the husbands who have complained of their wives; and upon the wives who have complained of their husbands."

The judgment was couched in these words: "Since love is natural, and no one can dictate a woman's will, and since neither the jealousy nor severity of a husband are of any avail, to compel a wife to conjugal fidelity, we order, that all husbands shall suffer the pain of foolish and indiscreet love, without having from that any pretence to restrain them; provided, however, that they may revenge themselves with chance intrigues, and contribute, by their patience and complaisance, to the ruin of their rivals. We ordain, also, that women who complain of the amours of their husbands, shall be condemned to the torments of jealousy; with an equal permission to those ladies who are not beloved by their husbands, to receive the cares and attentions of their neighbours.

Finally, we forbid the married of both s.e.xes, to bring any more actions upon these subjects, and reject them, in advance, from court. We command our demons, and princ.i.p.ally Asmodeus, the demon of marriage, to bear in hand the execution of the present ordinance. Given in h.e.l.l, at the grand audience hall, to be signified to whom it may concern.-Signed, _Lucifer_, king of h.e.l.l: and countersigned by my lord, the devil _Patiras_."

"Signor," said Cleopatra, "this edict cannot prejudice my rights against Augustus, emperor of the Romans: his ambition prompted him to attach to his triumphal car the queen of the Egyptians: to save myself from this shame, I laid violent hands upon myself. I demand that Augustus should be punished as guilty of my death."

"Am I responsible for your actions?" said Augustus. "Who informed you that I should put this indignity upon you? Caesar had loved you; Pompey also, as I believe: that Antony did, no one can doubt. The reputation of those charms by which you had subdued the conquerors of the world, had made such an impression upon my heart, that I would not only have made you its governor, but have re-established you upon the throne of your ancestors; but the timidity so natural to your s.e.x, pride, and haughtiness, misled you: the poison you employed to produce death was so subtle, that I could never discover its nature."

"All! tyrant," said Antony to Augustus, "you were not satisfied with having at the same time caused my death and the loss of my empire; but you must also effect the death of my spouse, whom I preferred to the throne."

"I deny that," replied Augustus; "you abandoned the field of battle to follow Cleopatra; yourself commanded a servant to give the blow of death, to prevent falling into my hands; it was in conformity to your counsel that Cleopatra killed herself; great Lucifer, I am innocent of these things."

"We ordain," said Lucifer, "that both parties should be delivered to their remorse of conscience; if they are not satisfied with this judgment, let them present themselves before Astarte, sovereign of women, to whom Venus and Pallas are a.s.sociated, where their cases shall be more amply examined."

There came next a queen, accompanied by many women and girls, armed as soldiers: this was said to be the foundress of the kingdom of the Amazons. To this troop, Zen.o.bia, queen of Palmyra, Elizabeth, queen of England, and other princesses who had governed their states, joined themselves. Amazonide, daughter of Samornas, (so they called the foundress of this female monarchy,) complained against Hercules that he had made some of her subjects captive: against Theseus, who had married one, when their army was defeated in Greece; against Achilles, who had put to death the princess Orythia, for having succoured the Trojans; against Alexander the Great, because, not content with the favours he had received from the queen Thalestris, he had put her kingdom under contribution; against the Ephesians, who, for their ingrat.i.tude towards the Amazons, who had founded their city, were themselves delivered to other masters: and thus in the same manner against many other princes and people.

"Ill.u.s.trious women," said Lucifer, "a s.e.x so fragile as yours, a monarchy so naturally given to tenderness, could not resist the force of men, nor get away from an empire so sweet as that of love. You have wished to act contrary to your destiny: made to submit, you have desired to command; but women cannot reign but by submissions to the laws of love; that renders men completely amenable to the will of woman. If men have done you wrong, accuse your own hearts; they have done the injury of which you complain. A warrior, proud and gallant, is full of ardour for victory when a fair Amazon is the price of conquest; and on the other hand an Amazon fears to vanquish a young soldier whose amiable qualities have now disarmed her. So we re-commit to yourselves the examination of those affairs you have brought to our tribunal: do yourselves the justice I should do, if I examined the matter with more care, and let all women be convinced, they have no greater enemies than their own hearts."

Zen.o.bia then took the stand, and said to Lucifer, that her heart had never been master of her head: "I lost," continued she, "my husband Odenatus, for whom I had the purest attachment: although he left me young, my subjects were willing to obey me. During the thirty years of my government, I can now say, that I maintained my sway with as much mildness as wisdom. When the thirty tyrants under Galienus divided the empire, I took possession of a province in Syria, that had formerly been separated, and united it to my kingdom. Aurelian declared war against me, and having taken me captive, led me in chains behind his triumphal car. In the endeavour to overcome the fidelity with which I preserved the memory of my spouse, and which was my sole consolation for the loss of my crown, he exiled me, under a specious pretext, into the Tybertine country; but he could not vanquish my constancy. Spite and rage seized him; he put to death Herennia.n.u.s and Timolaus, my two sons, whom I had myself brought up; I had given them an excellent education, and had taught them the Egyptian, Greek and Latin languages; it was for their use, that I had compiled an abridgment of the oriental history, and that of Alexandria. What was my grief at seeing myself deprived of two children, who would have perpetuated my name, and honoured my blood upon the throne of Palmyra! Let no one boast to me of the liberality of this prince towards his subjects: I am aware that he often distributed among them clothing, corn, wine and oil: but this virtue was tarnished by his avarice towards strangers. Could he not be contented with the boundaries of the Roman empire, which was a world of itself, in which one could make voyages both by land and sea? And why should I not accuse him of the murder of my two sons, since he even put to death the son of his sister?

His cruel jealousy might well extend itself to the children of a queen whom he had ruined. Justice, G.o.d of h.e.l.l! do not suffer Zen.o.bia to remain under the tyranny of this haughty emperor; for even here, he pretends to exercise it over me. Does not death reduce to an equality monarchs and their subjects, conquerors and their slaves? A distinguished Roman poet has said, 'he knocks, without distinction, at the gates of palaces and huts.' Lucifer, h.e.l.l, remorse, eternity, do me justice for these grievous tyrannies."

"Speak Aurelian," said Lucifer; "what prerogative do you pretend over this princess?"

The emperor answered in this manner: "Aurelian, emperor of the Romans, pontifex maximus, consul, censor, augur, tribune of the people, supreme head of Germany, Parthia, Persia, Arabia, Scythia, and Africa, to Lucifer-"

"Lay aside these vain t.i.tles," said Belial, who sat near Lucifer: "could not the scurviest beggar who had traversed with his pack, for a living, the various countries of the globe, a.s.sume as many with as much propriety?"

"I must then be but plain Aurelian?"

"Yes, you are nothing else."

"I will not consent to it; and I had rather be condemned than not to affix my t.i.tles to the head of my defence."

This emperor having declined answering, Lucifer accorded to queen Zen.o.bia what she had demanded.

Elizabeth, queen of England, then came forward: she complained of the count of Ess.e.x, who slighted her affections at the time she was sought by all the princes of Europe. Lucifer referred her to the tribunal of Astarte, where he had sent the Amazons.

After her appeared Dido, queen of Carthage. She testified great dissatisfaction at Virgil, who had represented her as enamoured with a man she had never seen.-Referred to the same tribunal.

Sappho also was in court: she averred that there had never been any other Sappho than herself, who was born in the Island of Mitylene: had given her name to the sapphic poetry, and was the author of poems dedicated to her friend Phaon, one of which had been translated by Ovid.

The other Sappho declared that she was the true, the only Sappho who had existed; that she was born at Erise, in the time of the elder Tarquin, king of Rome; that she had married Cersyla, of Andros, one of the ancestors of the muse Clio; and that she had composed poems of different kinds. The claims of Sappho of Mitylene were then recognized, and the other forbidden to a.s.sume this name, or any work thereunto appertaining, because the property of a wife belonged to her husband: and according to the laws of all nations, her acts ought to appear in his name.

Sappho having been confirmed in her rights, accused Phaon of coldness and ingrat.i.tude. "When," said she, "I had given him my heart, I was no more mistress of myself; I wished by my works to immortalize my love and his name: hard as the rocks of Parna.s.sus, inflexible as the fiercest dog of Thessaly, impenetrable as the isthmus of Corinth, he disdained my flame; my verse made no impression upon him; weary of my love, he sought but to escape from me; insensible to my anguish, when I threw myself from the precipice of Leucadia, he manifested no sorrow. O, rage! O, fury of love! avenge my wrongs."

Lucifer ordained that Sappho should present her case before the G.o.ddess of females.

Artemisa rehea.r.s.ed all she had done to eternise the memory of her spouse: she repeated a hundred times the name of her dear Mausoleus, and demanded that he should be again restored to her, since she had died for love of him.

The matron of Ephesus, who stood near her, began to laugh loudly, at the idea of a woman's demanding her lost husband from h.e.l.l.

Both of them being adjudged fools, for contrary reasons, were remanded to their dungeons.

Lucretia, a Roman lady, succeeded them; she demanded justice against Tarquin, who, by her violation, had been the cause of her death.

Jupiter, who wished to amuse himself, asked her if she had made any resistance.

"Yes," said she.

"What hindered you from stabbing Tarquin as he approached you?"

"He was the stronger party, and would have killed me."

"Was he alone?"

"Yes."

"Was there ever seen a man, who could, una.s.sisted, force a woman to the gratification of his l.u.s.t? Why did you not rather suffer death, than permit him to consummate his enterprise?"

"You are so importunate, that I must needs avow the truth: Collatinus, my husband, discovering my intrigues with the young prince, poinarded me, and then spread a false report, to advance the designs of Brutus and himself. This Jupiter," murmured she, retiring, very angry, "is an impertinent-he will not believe that any woman could be capable of so heroic an action as that attributed to me, and that they are all coquettes."

"Let all the women," said Lucifer, "betake themselves to the tribunal established for them." He then gave orders for the approach of four princes, who craved audience: the first was Darius, who impleaded Alexander the Great: the second, Bajazet, who accused Tamerlane of robbery: the third, Constantine Paleologus, who reproached Mahomet with his cruelty and ambition; the fourth, Montezuma, king of Mexico, who complained against Fernandez Cortes, and the usurpation of the Spaniards.

The three first replied, custom, and the laws of war: as to the last, he was listened to, more from curiosity than any intention to reinstate him in his possessions.

Montezuma spake very nearly in these words: "I was formerly the legitimate and peaceful possessor of the Mexican states, which my fathers had enjoyed from the universal deluge, if not before; for there are people called _preadamites_, who maintain, that G.o.d created men in that part of the world called _America_, who did not descend from the first man born in Asia, and whom they called _Adam_. The avarice and temerity of certain merchants, led them across the immense sea, which separates America from Europe; they represented themselves as persons, who, having been shipwrecked, had need of succour: we gave them firs, wood, and silver; we aided them to the extent of our power. All these gifts, which ought to have served for the establishment of an honourable commerce and friendship, only inflamed their cupidity and avarice. We were their friends; they made us their va.s.sals, after having combatted us with arms, of which we were ignorant: mounted on horses of which we were horribly afraid, they put us to flight with the terrible noise of their cannon; having rallied, we a.s.sembled all our troops; they prevailed by the superiority of their arms; shutting us up in villages, they besieged, they ma.s.sacred, they took us captive, and carried all before them, with fire and sword. Regardless of royal majesty, which I held of G.o.d, they took my life. If it is right to usurp the goods and estate of another, why do not subjects war against their sovereigns? Why do not families seek the downfall of families? Why do not the wicked and strong dominate, the one over the weak, and the other take away their goods?

Natural right, which bestows every thing that hath no owner, was it upon the side of the king of Spain, or on mine, who had received the kingdom of Mexico, as an inheritance from my fathers? The civil law, which maintains possession, and which protects legitimate proprietors, was it in favour of the king of Spain, or in mine? The reason of all ages and countries accuse the Spaniards. We learn in childhood, that we must not do to others, what we would not have them to do to us; Did I carry war into Spain? Why then have they brought it to me, and that too, in a country where they had experienced the cares of hospitality, to destroy a prodigious number of men? What horrible ingrat.i.tude! what frightful injustice! what atrocious cruelty! Lucifer, be the avenger of one half the world: punish the Spaniards."

Fernandez Cortes excused himself on the score of orders from the king, his master: he confessed that reason, humanity, and justice, spake by the mouth of Montezuma; but he observed, that the conquests of the Spaniards had instructed the Indians in the knowledge of the true G.o.d.

Upon that, Montezuma cried out, that the design of the Spaniards was not to eradicate idolatry in America, but solely to enrich Spain, at the expense of that part of the world; that this was so true, that in Mexico, the christian Spaniards and their slaves, did not compose more than one hundred thousandth part of the inhabitants.

"What do you desire," said Lucifer, "that I should do to the Spaniards?"

"I do not demand," said the prince, "to be reinstated in my dominions; some day, perhaps, one of my descendants, or some generous Indian, will deliver my country from the Spanish yoke; I wish only that the Indians who were killed in the conquest of Mexico, should have the liberty to roast upon spits, and eat their cruel enemies; and in this manner my nation shall be sufficiently revenged."