The Universal Reciter - Part 32
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Part 32

_Enter_ JOHN RAY, L., _with a book._

_John._ Hallo, boys! what's the time?

_Charley._ Eighteen minutes of nine. All ready for the declamation?

_John._ Not yet; there's time enough.

_Ralph._ Time enough! What have you selected?

_John._ "Tell's Address." I'm going to pitch into it now. I can do it in eighteen minutes.

_Charley._ Why, you haven't left it till now?

_John._ Of course I have. Time enough, I tell you. I've got a locomotive memory, you know. None of your slow coaches. I shall only have to read it over two or three times.

_Ralph._ But why didn't you take it up before?

_John._ What's the use? I went boating yesterday; and last night I went--somewhere else.

_Charley._ Yes! you took a _melon_choly walk. Hey, John?

_John._ What do you mean by that?

_Charley._ No matter. You'd better study Tell's Address, if you expect to be ready by nine o'clock.

_John._ So I had. Well, you run along, and let me have this place to myself. It's a quiet place. So good by. I'll see you by nine o'clock, with Tell's Address perfect.

_Charley._ Well, good luck to you. Come Ralph.

_Ralph._ I say, Ray; what's the proverb about the "thief of time"?

_John._ Who do you call a thief?

_Ralph._ A slow coach, that will rob you of your laurels spite of your locomotive memory. Come along Charley. [_Exeunt_ CHARLEY _and_ RALPH R.

_John._ Now, who told them I was after melons last night. (_Opens book._) "Tell's Address." Won't I astonish those lads! What's the use of wasting time in study before it's needed? (_Reads._)

"Ye crags and peaks, I'm with you once again."

_Enter_ MR. HANKS, L.

_Mr. Hanks._ Look here, boy; where's Mr. Simmons's house?

_John._ O, bother! Over by the mill.

_Mr. H._ Hey?

_John._ Over by the mill.

_Mr. H._ Over that hill? Good gracious! You don't mean I've got to travel as far as that, do you, in the hot sun?

_John._ No, no; it's only a little ways.

_Mr. H._ Only a little blaze! It's an awful hot morning.

_John._ O, dear! this old fellow is as deaf as a post. (_Very loud._) Mr.--Simmons--lives--down--by--the--mill.

_Mr. H._ O, he does! Why didn't you say so before? Down that way?

(_Points_ R.)

_John._ (_Loud._) Yes! To--the--right! That--old--wooden--one--ahead!

_Mr. H._ Who do you call an old wooden head?

_John._ O, dear! I never shall get that piece. You don't understand.

I--said--wooden--house.

_Mr. H._ Hey?

_John._ O, dear! O, dear! (_Points_ R.) That's Mr.

Simmons's--house--down--there!

_Mr. H._ O, yes. Thank you, thank you. I'm a little hard of hearing.

_John._ I see you are. Suffering from a cold?

_Mr. H._ Hey?

_John._ O, what a nuisance! Is it--from a cold you--suffer?

_Mr. H._ Old buffer, indeed! Be more respectful to your elders, young man; more respectful.

[_Exit_, R.

_John._ I've got rid of him at last, and five minutes gone. O, dear!

(_Reads._)

"Ye crags and peaks, I'm with you once again!"

_Enter_ MR. HANKS, R.

_Mr. H._ Did you say right or left?

_John._ Good gracious! the man's back! To--the right! To the right!

Follow the stream.

_Mr. H._ Hey?