The Unforseen Return.

by Jean-Francois Regnard.

The scene is a street before Richly's house. Lucy, a maid is approaching from one side and encounters Mrs. Prim.

Mrs. Prim: Ah, there you are! I'm very glad to meet you. Let's take the opportunity to have a little serious conversation, Miss Lucy.

Lucy: (easily) Just as serious as you please, Mrs. Prim.

Mrs. Prim: You know perfectly well that I am displeased with the behavior of my niece.

Lucy: Really Madam. And what's she done wrong, may I ask?

Mrs. Prim.

She does nothing but wrong--and to make it worse she surrounds herself with a wench like you who gives her the worst possible advice and who pushes her over the precipice--where she's heading if she hasn't already fallen.

Lucy: Well, Mrs. Prim, this is at the very least, a serious conversation as you put it--and if I were to respond as seriously I don't know where it might end. But the respect I have for your age, and for the aunt of my mistress prevents me from responding to you without respect.

Mrs. Prim: My age! You're a model of moderation!

Lucy: It would be nice if you were, too, Madam. You are not the first to spread scandal about your niece; remarks that have no foundation except in your disordered imagination.

Mrs. Prim: My disordered imagination! What impudence. (furiously) It's the disorder of your actions which make me speak out--and there is nothing worse than the life you are living.

Lucy: How is that--what's wrong with our life if you please?

Mrs. Prim: What? Is there anything more scandalous than the expenditures Belinda is constantly making--a girl without a penny in income.

Lucy: You have credit, Madame.

Mrs. Prim: Just what she needs to maintain a large house and extravagant tastes.

Lucy: Is she forbidden to make her fortune?

Mrs. Prim: And how is she to make her fortune?

Lucy: Very innocently. She drinks, eats, sings, laughs, gambles, walks to take the air--and wealth comes to us while we sleep, I a.s.sure you.

Mrs. Prim: And meanwhile her reputation evaporates. She'll learn. She won't have a penny of mine. My brother, who wanted her to be a nun will disinherit her. Patience, patience, she won't always be young.

Lucy: Very true, that's why we must put our time to good use.

Mrs. Prim: Oh, very well--and all the profit you will get from that will be to die in a charity ward: both dishonored.

Lucy: Oh, for that, no Madam. A successful marriage will prevent that prophecy from being fulfilled.

Mrs. Prim: A successful marriage. She's going to get married?

Lucy: Yes indeed.

Mrs. Prim: Just in time! But I won't be a party to it. I won't help her make anyone think she's either respectable or rich. I renounce her as my niece, and I will not aid her to deceive anyone; goodbye.

Lucy: Don't trouble yourself--we know our business better than you.

Mrs. Prim: I believe this will be some grand alliance!

(Exit Mrs. Prim in a huff)

Lucy: This will be a fine marriage and when it is consummated you will be honored to receive her and be her aunt. (shouting after Mrs. Prim) You just wait and see! (Lucy is annoyed, stung by Mrs. Prim's remarks. She would like to say more but cannot.)

Roger: (entering) Good day, child. Who was that old lady you were talking with?

Lucy: Who? That was Mrs. Prim, my mistress's aunt.

Roger: I didn't recognize her. I wasn't paying much attention.

Lucy: The old girl's very well off. She owns a lot of property in London.

Belinda is very well connected, at least.

Roger: But she hasn't any money of her own.

Lucy: There's no reason to give up. Money will come. If her three uncles, two aunts, three cousins and two nephews die--she will have a very large inheritance. Ha, ha! Do you know that if the Plague were to strike again, Belinda would cut quite a figure.

Roger: She has a nice figure already.

Lucy: Her beauty carries all before it.

Roger: My master is absolutely determined to marry her.

Lucy: And she is absolutely determined to marry him.

Roger: There would perhaps be some trouble if our good father were to return --but he won't for a while. We'll have the time to prepare and my master will be happy--except for the chagrin of marrying Belinda.

Lucy: What--what are you trying to say?

Roger: Marriage is subject to its ups and downs.

Lucy: You are very polite to think that Mr. Edward would ever repent of marrying Belinda, a young lady that I have brought up myself.

Roger: So much the worse.

Lucy: A pretty girl, young and well developed.

Roger: That part doesn't rea.s.sure me.

Lucy: A girl easy to live with.