"I want you to tell me. For once, tell me, Nell."

"I felt guilty and scared and-"

"You didn't want to lose me."

"All right, I didn't want to lose you."

"Why?"

"Because I'm used to you, because you-"

"Why?"

"Because I love you, dammit." She buried her head in his chest. "And it hurts. I never wanted this to happen. It shouldn't have happened. I fought it so hard. You're the last person- You with your damned gates. You'll die, like Jill died. I can't stand the thought of it happening again."

"We all die. I can't promise to live forever." His arms tightened around her. "But I can promise to love you as long as I live."

"That's not good enough. I won't have it. Do you hear?" She pushed him away. "Oh, go to bed. I don't want to look at you anymore. I'll go get your prescription." She snatched her purse up from the table and headed for the door. "And it doesn't mean anything. I won't let- I'll get over it."

"Don't count on it." He smiled. "I think the best thing we can do is accept it and roll with the punches."

She slammed the door behind her and stopped outside to mop her wet cheeks with the back of her hand. Accept it? She couldn't accept it. She had been torn apart when she had seen Nicholas hurt, when she had thought he might die. All the pain that had almost destroyed her when she had learned of Jill's death had rushed back, almost overwhelming her. She couldn't go through that again.

She could never accept it.

Nineteen.

January 2

Paris

"Gardeaux checked into the hospital yesterday morning," Jamie said as he came into the apartment waving a newspaper. "He's suffering from an undisclosed ailment and his condition is considered critical." He grinned. "So sad after the success of his most memorable Renaissance Fest."

"And what about Kabler?"

He shrugged. "No word on him. My bet is that he's on his way back to Washington, trying to figure out how to cover his ass."

"He must know what happened to Gardeaux. Can he hurt you?" Nell asked Nicholas.

"He'd be a fool to try now that I have Pardeau's books. He figures prominently in them."

"Another insurance policy?"

"Combined with Simpson's books, a platinum-plated one."

"And Kabler will just continue with the DEA?"

"He's shrewd. I doubt if they'll even know he turned dirty. He may end up by retiring with a gold watch."

Nell shook her head.

"We can't have everything," Nicholas said quietly. "I can't bring him down. We need his silence."

"But we may have Maritz," Jamie said. "I've heard through the grapevine that he may be in the South of France. Someone saw him in Monte Carlo."

Nell turned to face him. "When?"

"A few days ago. I'm checking on it."

"You'll let me know?"

Nicholas's gaze narrowed on her face. "You're not very excited."

"I'm fresh out of excitement," she said dryly. "I've had too much in the last few days." She got up and went to the closet. "Which reminds me, I have to return Dumoit's gown. Celine has left three messages on the answering machine. She's about to call out the gendarmes." She took out the bedraggled and bloodstained gown and made a face. "She may do it anyway when she sees how I've ruined it." She draped the gown over her arm, grabbed her purse, and headed for the door. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"He's not in Monte Carlo. He's here," Tania said flatly when Nell reached her by phone from a booth near her apartment. "We're not far from Monte Carlo. Joel and I went there for the day."

"And he followed you."

"Everywhere. He's getting anxious ... and careless. I saw him yesterday."

"Where?"

"On the waterfront. Just for a second, a reflection in a shop window."

"You heard about Gardeaux?"

"Yes. Is he really ill? It wasn't what I expected."

"It wasn't what I expected either. A surprise from Nicholas." Nell paused. "Soon?"

"Very soon. I want to be sure he's ready to pounce. I'll call you. Stay close to the apartment."

"You weren't long," Nicholas said when she walked in the door.

"No." Long enough to call Tania. Long enough to rent a car and park it near the apartment. Soon. It would be soon.

"Was she roaring?" Nicholas asked. "Who? Oh, Madame Dumoit?"

"Who else?"

The question was casual, but she cursed herself for not being more alert. Nicholas didn't miss anything. "She was furious." Nell smiled. "She says she'll ruin me. I'll never model again."

"Pity. I guess you'll have to take up sheep raising."

Nell's smile faded.

"It's all right. Don't get jumpy," he said quietly. "I'm letting it lie for the time being." He stood up. "Why don't I take you out to lunch? We've never eaten a meal in a public place before. It will be an experience."

Stay close.

She shook her head. "I'm tired. I'd rather eat in. There's a store down the street. Will you go and pick something up?"

He raised his brows. "Whatever you like."

Soon.

Maritz had been in their suite.

Tania looked down at the jewelry box. She'd put it on the dresser. Now it sat on the counter in the bathroom.

The white Armani suit she'd worn in the picture that appeared in the newspaper had been taken out of the closet and draped across a chair.

He had been here and he wanted her to know it.

He was ready.

January 4

7:10 A.M.

When the phone rang, Nell was out of bed in seconds, running into the sitting room.

"Today," Tania said. "I'm leaving for the cottage at six this evening. I should be there by eight. Don't be late."

"I won't be late." She had been late at Bellevigne and had almost lost Nicholas. Nothing would stop her this time. "But after you draw him into the open, he's mine."

"We'll see."

"No. You've no right. He's mine. You've done your part. You're out of it."

"I don't like-"

"He killed my daughter."

There was silence on the other end of the line. "All right, I'm out of it." Tania hung up.

Nell went back to bed and slipped beneath the covers.

"Who was it?" Nicholas asked.

She didn't answer. She had lied to him before. She didn't want to do it again.

"Wrong number?"

She nodded and cuddled close. He didn't think it was a wrong number, but he was giving her an out. He suspected something, but he would never force it out of her. That wasn't his style. He would watch and wait.

"I'd like to make love, Nicholas," she whispered. "If you don't mind."

"You said that the first time you came to me." He turned over and took her in his arms. "I don't mind. I'll never mind. Not now." He kissed her. "Not for the next fifty years. Always ready to oblige." Her arms tightened fiercely around him. "If you leave my ribs intact."

"I love you, Nicholas."

"Shh, I know you do." He pulled down the cover and moved over her. "It's all right. I know ..."

6:35 P.M.

"Nell's heading south," Jamie said.

"Don't lose her. I'll be right behind you." Nicholas put down the phone and left the apartment. He had known the excuse Nell had given him for leaving the apartment was bogus and it had taken all his restraint to let her go.

South. Monte Carlo?

He got into his car and pressed on the accelerator.

Who the hell knew where she was going?

Wherever it was, she thought Maritz was at her destination.

And it scared him to death.

6:50 P.M.

Pretty Tania had decided to put an end to it.