"That's sure too bright fer me."

"That's 'cos you ain't been married. Y'see, I have."

"Can't you put it easier--seein' I ain't been married?"

"Sure I can." Sandy took up a position, on the edge of the table with such a judicial air that the girl started to giggle.

"See here," he began largely. "Now what d'you know 'bout kids--raisin'

'em, I mean?"

The girl's eyes twinkled on the verge of laughing outright.

"Zip's kids?" she inquired shrewdly.

Sandy started and frowned.

"What d'you mean--Zip's kids?"

"Oh, just nothing," said Birdie airily. "Seein' kids was in your mind, I naturally tho't o' Zip's."

Sandy nodded. But he was only half convinced. How on earth, he wondered, did she know he was thinking of Zip's kids? He felt that it would be best to nip that idea in the bud. It was undignified that he should appear to be interested in Zip's twins.

"I ain't interested in no special kids," he said, with some dignity.

"I was just theorizin'--like. Now, if you got married, wot you know of raisin' kids? Guess you're that ignorant of the subject maybe you'd feed 'em hay?"

Birdie laughed dutifully, but her retort was rather disconcerting.

"You bin married--how'd you feed 'em? I'm learning."

"How'd I feed 'em?" Sandy eyed his tormentor severely. "That ain't the question. How'd you feed 'em?"

The girl thought for a moment, and then looked up brightly.

"If they was Zip's kids--"

"I said they ain't."

"Well, if they were, I'd say--"

"See here, cut Zip's kids out. They ain't in this shootin' match,"

cried Sandy testily.

But Birdie persisted slyly.

"Y'see, I must get some kids in my eye if I'm to answer you right,"

she said. "I can see things better that way. Now, if they were Zip's kids--"

"Which they ain't," a.s.severated the man doggedly.

"Which they ain't," nodded Birdie, "I'd feed 'em cereals an' pap--"

Sandy's face suddenly cleared. His whole being seemed to expand.

"Say, you're a bright gal," he declared. "Cereals an' pap. That's dead right. Say, you know more than--You'd give 'em milk to drink--now?" he suggested.

"Oh no, nothing like that. Water."

The man looked disappointed.

"Water?" he said. "You sure of that? But I guess you'd give 'em banannys?"

Again the girl shook her head.

"Fruit gives 'em colic."

"Ah, yes, that's so. They'd need physic then, wouldn't they?"

"You need to be easy with physic, too," declared the girl, with sparkling eyes. "Don't give 'em physic ever unless they're real sick."

The man's crestfallen appearance set Birdie giggling. She was enjoying the situation. She meant to upset all Sandy's preconceived ideas.

"Now, pork?" he suggested, but with less a.s.surance.

But Birdie was obdurate.

"Never," she declared emphatically. "Beans, yes. There's good nourishment in beans. Then ther's fresh vegetables--heaps of 'em."

"Ah! Now, how 'bout fixin' them right--the kids, I mean? Guess they'll need bathin'."

But Birdie fell upon him with a strong denial.

"Bath?" she cried. "Gee! you do run on. Guess you want to hand 'em newmony. Kids sure don't never need bathin'. Jest a lick with soap an'

hot water once a week. An' say," she went on, suddenly remembering something she had told Toby in a fit of mischief, "kep their food soft, or you'll break their young teeth."

Sandy's eyes lit, and in an unguarded moment he admitted that the thought had occurred to him. Birdie caught him up at once.

"I tho't you was just astin' me these questions to see if I was right for gettin' married?" she protested innocently.

"That's so--course," he said hastily. Then he wriggled out of it. "But how'd I be able to say you was right if I hadn't tho't on things some myself?"

"Ah! I didn't just think of that."

"Course not. Gals never see the fine points of good argyment."

Sandy's superiority was overwhelming, but Birdie had borne with him with amused patience until now. She had known him a long time as a boarder, but never until now had she realized the blundering conceit that was his. She felt that she had given him rope enough, and it was time to bring him up with a jerk.

"Thank you kindly, sir," she mocked him, curtseying.