_Mil._ What has brought thee Home so unexpected?

_d.i.c.k._ You will know that presently.

_Mil._ Of that by-and-by then. We have got the King down in the Forest a hunting this Season, and this honest Gentleman, who came down with his Majesty from _London_, has been with 'em to Day it seems, and has lost his Way. Come, _Madge_, see what thou can'st get for Supper. Kill a Couple of the best Fowls; and go you, _Kate_, and draw a Pitcher of Ale. We are famous, Sir, at _Mansfield_, for good Ale, and for honest Fellows that know how to drink it.

_King._ Good Ale will be acceptable at present, for I am very dry. But pray, how came your Son to leave you, and go to _London_?

_Mil._ Why, that's a Story which _d.i.c.k_, perhaps, won't like to have told.

_King._ Then I don't desire to hear it.

_Enter_ KATE _with an Earthen Pitcher of Ale, and a Horn_.

_Mil._ So, now do you go help your Mother. Sir, my hearty Service to you.

_King._ Thank ye, Sir. This plain Sincerity and Freedom, is a Happiness unknown to Kings. [_Aside._]

_Mil._ Come, Sir.

_King._ _Richard_, my Service to you.

_d.i.c.k._ Thank you, Sir.

_Mil._ Well, _d.i.c.k_, and how do'st thou like _London_? Come, tell us what thou hast seen.

_d.i.c.k._ Seen! I have seen the Land of Promise.

_Mil._ The Land of Promise! What dost thou mean?

_d.i.c.k._ The Court, Father.

_Mil._ Thou wilt never leave joking.

_d.i.c.k._ To be serious then, I have seen the Disappointment of all my Hopes and Expectations; and that's more than one would wish to see.

_Mil._ What, would the great Man thou wast recommended to, do nothing at all for thee at last?

_d.i.c.k._ Why, yes; he would promise me to the last.

_Mil._ Zoons! do the Courtiers think their Dependants can eat Promises!

_d.i.c.k._ No, no, they never trouble their Heads to think, whether we eat at all or not. I have now dangled after his Lordship several Years, tantaliz'd with Hopes and Expectations; this Year promised one Place, the next another, and the third, in sure and certain Hope of----a Disappointment. One falls, and it was promis'd before; another, and I am just Half an Hour too late; a third, and it stops the Mouth of a Creditor; a fourth, and it pays the Hire of a Flatterer; a fifth, and it bribes a Vote; and the sixth, I am promis'd still. But having thus slept away some Years, I awoke from my Dream: My Lord, I found, was so far from having it in his Power to get a Place for me, that he had been all this while seeking after one for himself.

_Mil._ Poor _d.i.c.k_! And is plain Honesty then a Recommendation to no Place at Court?

_d.i.c.k._ It may recommend you to be a Footman, perhaps, but nothing further, nothing further, indeed. If you look higher, you must furnish yourself with other Qualifications: You must learn to say Ay, or No; to run, or stand; to fetch, or carry, or leap over a Stick at the Word of Command. You must be Master of the Arts of Flattery, Insinuation, Dissimulation, Application, and [_Pointing to his Palm_] right Application too, if you hope to succeed.

_King._ You don't consider I am a Courtier, methinks.

_d.i.c.k._ Not I, indeed; 'tis no Concern of mine what you are. If, in general, my Character of the Court is true, 'tis not my Fault if it's disagreable to your Worship. There are particular Exceptions I own, and I hope you may be one.

_King._ Nay, I don't want to be flatter'd, so let that pa.s.s. Here's better Success to you the next Time you come to _London_.

_d.i.c.k._ I thank ye; but I don't design to see it again in haste.

_Mil._ No, no, _d.i.c.k_; instead of depending upon Lords Promises, depend upon the Labour of thine own Hands; expect nothing but what thou can'st earn, and then thou wilt not be disappointed. But come, I want a Description of _London_; thou hast told us nothing thou hast seen yet.

_d.i.c.k._ O! 'tis a fine Place! I have seen large Houses with small Hospitality; great Men do little Actions; and fine Ladies do----nothing at all. I have seen the honest Lawyers of _Westminster-Hall_, and the virtuous Inhabitants of _'Change-Alley_. The politick Mad-men of Coffee-Houses, and the wise Statesmen of _Bedlam_. I have seen merry Tragedies, and sad Comedies; Devotion at an Opera, and Mirth at a Sermon; I have seen fine Cloaths at _St. James_'s, and long Bills at _Ludgate-Hill_. I have seen poor Grandeur, and rich Poverty; high Honours, and low Flattery, great Pride, and no Merit. In short, I have seen a Fool with a t.i.tle, a Knave with a Pension, and an honest Man with a Thread-bare Coat. Pray how do you like _London_?

_Mil._ And is this the best Description thou can'st give of it?

_d.i.c.k._ Yes.

_King._ Why, _Richard_, you are a Satirist, I find.

_d.i.c.k._ I love to speak Truth, Sir; if that happens to be Satire, I can't help it.

_Mil._ Well, if this is _London_, give me my Country Cottage; which, tho' it is not a great House, nor a fine House, is my own House, and I can shew a Receipt for the Building on't.

_King._ I wish all the great Builders in the Kingdom could say as much.

_Mil._ Come, Sir, our Supper, I believe, is ready for us, by this time; and to such as I have, you're as welcome as a Prince.

_King._ I thank you. [_Exeunt._

_Scene changes to the Wood._

_Enter several_ KEEPERS.

_1 K._ The Report of the Gun was somewhere this Way I'm sure.

_2 K._ Yes, but I can never believe that any-body would come a Deer stealing so dark a Night as this.

_3 K._ Where did the Deer harbour to Day?

_4 K._ There was a Herd lay upon _Hamilton-Hill_, another just by _Robin Hood's Chair_, and a third here in _Mansfield Wood_.

_1 K._ Ay, those they have been amongst.

_2 K._ But we shall never be able to find 'em to Night, 'tis so dark.

_3 K._ No, no; let's go back again.

_1 K._ Zoons! you're afraid of a broken Head, I suppose, if we should find 'em; and so had rather slink back again. Hark! Stand close. I hear 'em coming this Way.

_Enter the_ COURTIERS.